My closest friends are female. I'm the guy on who advises them on how to win their guy when he is bent on getting away. When a male perspective is needed, they run to me. The typical bobo nice. However, I seem to have one problem maintaining a steady relationship. I enter with all the good intentions. However, everytime, after a short while, especially when the lady starts playing wife, I get tired and want to do only one thing. Get out. These are relationships with women I initially thought are my ideal women. I especially get pissed when the woman start being too submissive. My last serious GF called me to tell me she's getting married. Then I started thinking. She's a gem though not perfect. I dont see myself as a player and never intend to be. However, I think I've been in too many relationships. Way too much for comfort. Is it something to do with me or something to do with them or just one of those things?

Obviously you are commitment-phobic and need counseling. You should limit your relationships to the level of casual sex until you're ready to commit. That way, you will get the sex that you want without the pain of having a girl who wants to marry you or something.

You may never get married, but that probably doesn't matter to you because you are a different kind of person - this is neither a compliment nor a criticism, but an observation. At least you won't be preventing your girlfriends from getting married.

I so much agree with seun i guess u need help. Say the truth it is the sex u want and nothing else isn't? U might end up being a bachelor but surely those girls would not want to end up bn a spinster cos of u.
Carry on ok, and when u are old u will become an Aristo. No worries.............
Peace

While Seun and Tiwa might have valid points, I dont think I enter relationships looking for sex. It happens alright. I'll really like to commit. I just have a problem doing that. I just dont seem to be able to stay in a relationship for long.

Eya i feel for u seriously................ I pray u get over this.

Sorry eh?

na who bottle shuk for leg, na who dey cry?
na who chop sugar, na who belle dey pain?

Thank you Kenflavour! I dont know why all these women folk are feeling sorry for me. I guess I'll just take Seun's advise. It seems to be the most reasonable one I've got. Thank you Seun. Are u a shrink?

Thats the way life is we all want different things from life, sometimes you just don't want to settle down yet, there's nothing wrong with that.
You don't need a shrink, you just want variety in your life.

Don't buy into our people's wahala, there's no book that says you have to be married or in a serious relationship by X age, In my twenties i didn't want to be tied down either (and i wasn't a player ) just wanted to travel around and experience life etc. But now i'm settling down and it feels ok

At least you're honest with yourself unlike some of our peeps that will get married and still be out hunting for fresh meat everyday

enjoy your life my bros...

Thanks a bunch Ijebuman.

I think seun is right,just do as he had said

Hello,
If you are looking for the "Perfect Woman" to walk into you life then, you are are making a big mistake. You, my dear, are the one that will bring out what you want from the woman you marry.
with a woman in your life, you need patience, Truck load of patience. Now you know why old wine cost so much.

Bachelors for life say, "yeah!"

aha pluto sorry if i got it wrong.. I am not feeling sorry for u, I only pity u. Because i took a guess of how things would be in the next 10 -15 yrs and i thought to myself will you ever get married. That's d whole point. But then i think seun's idea is good take it. it might help who knows.
Ladies in the house.......... Would u like to be single / spinster for life?

tiwa:

aha pluto sorry if i got it wrong.. I am not feeling sorry for u, I only pity u. Because i took a guess of how things would be in the next 10 -15 years and i thought to myself will you ever get married. <snip>

Why should you 'pity him', which one is better a man who is honest with himself and is not interested in settling down yet or the guy who gets married but is out chasing skirts every night.

There's no rule that says everybody must settle down, neither is there any rule thats says you'll be happy if you're in a relationship.

someone said it somewhere in one of our threads here that when most ladies go into any frienship, what comes into their mind is "marriage". And it cannot happen unless they can trust you as a guy and future husband.
I don't see why you expect babes not to run from you when you are not one of the disciples of a long lasting relationship.

you have to work on yourself.
Goodluck to you.

mckaycee:

someone said it somewhere in one of our threads here that when most ladies go into any frienship, what comes into their mind is "marriage". And it cannot happen unless they can trust you as a guy and future husband.
I don't see why you expect babes not to run from you when you are not one of the disciples of a long lasting relationship.

Actually this applies mostly to Nigerian ladies, they go out with a guy and 3 months later they are already planning the wedding. I once went out with a girl a long time ago and within 3 months she was already referring to me as her 'fiance'
Of course we had to go our separate ways 'cause i wasn't ready to settle down then and she was going way too fast for my liking.

The bottomline is, if you're ready to settle down now then its all good if not take your time and enjoy your life, its like 'puberty' it doesn't happen to everybody at the same time.

ijebuman i know there's no law governing that but then biblically... there's joy when u get married. moreover, yeah it is written that "He who find a wife has found a good thing and obtain the favour of God". So what are u talking 'bout IJEBU.

Marriage is not a bed of roses, and it's worse for those who don't put their hearts in it.

Even if career bachelor isn't ready for marriage until he is 40 years old, he will be able to find a girl. As long as he's rich and he's amusing, he will get girls as young as 25 years old because young women don't have a problem with old men. (a career spinster has a bigger problem on her hands because women do not like to date younger men and young men do not tend to date women that are [i]much [/i]older when young 'babes' are available)

I understand what u are talking about Seun, but then if a girl of 19 marry a guy that is in the age range 40-50. they call that "Aristo".
why on earth will a responsible person do that?

tiwa:

ijebuman i know there's no law governing that but then biblically... there's joy when u get married. moreover, yeah it is written that "He who find a wife has found a good thing and obtain the favour of God".

That only applies if you marry the right person, if you're married to the wrong person, trust me you'll prefer to be single.

tiwa:

So what are u talking 'bout IJEBU.

Now I get you. Never marry ok? And I will tell you u'll miss the good things in life.

But do you know womething? Prayer is the key. If you pray to God to give you the right guy/girl definitely you will get so what are you talking about?

tiwa:

Now i get u. Never marry ok......................................... And i will tell u u'll miss the good things in life.
But do u know sth...... Prayer is the key if u pray to God to give u the right guy/girl definitely u will get so what are u talking about?

you don't 'get me' you're just making assumptions

Only God fit save us o. Let's pray unto Him in Jesus name.

What's the point in getting married if at a point in the dating, you feel like four walls closing in on you? You can't thinking of marriage under that kind of situation. The few times I've really been in relationships when I really thought of settling down, those were with partners who don't want to be held down just yet. I guess if the "one" refuse to surface, bachelor for life isn't such a bad idea. I think the party can continue.

but some nigerian girls dem too do, they want you to be committed to a life long relationship within a very short time frame.

pluto04, The point is, you want independent women, alot of guys do have the same problem like u do but fail to face it. And lots of ladies that get dumped by good guys are ladies that are MISS TOO NICE, TOO CLINGY, TOO SUBMISSIVE. I mean wots the point of being all over a guy, evryone needs a breathing space.

i have walked out of about 2 r/ships like that. All because, they made me feel they were desperate. U want someone u feel u don't really worth not some one thats not your worth. Guys and ladies all together want someone nice and nasty not ALWAYS NICE. Someone who will disagree with u over certain issues.....not someone who will leave evrything to be with u...her friends,her family and even her hobbies......

Mide2, You might be right. I really think a woman who is able to have her life without me will be more fun. Maybe that's who you call an independent woman. The ones I've been with were fun. The experience was sweet while it lasted and the breakup wasn't my making. I guess I just needed to get my priorities right. I'm taking a break from relationships till I'm done arranging my priorities. Thanks Mide2 and Otokx for your contributions.

cant the other person help in raising the relationship to a good level