Lizzyangel:

is anybody in the house feeling or have felt the same way am feeling? right now i am going crazy. i have been living with them(father,mother,and siblings inlaw) for past 4yrs and things get worse……many things i cant type happens on daily basis. which i cannot type all…it is killing my self esteem…someone should advice me on what to do.as my hubby was not allowed to leave without building his own house been the.only son and family custom

please i need advice on what to do from experienced and matured minds.

My dear, issues like this is mostly spiritual to the detriment of you and your husband. Pray well for your husband.

I think you should understand there dos and don't because since u said hubby can't rent an apartment till he builds his own house... But seriously, what kind of ancient tradition is that?

Lizzyangel:

is anybody in the house feeling or have felt the same way am feeling? right now i am going crazy. i have been living with them(father,mother,and siblings inlaw) for past 4yrs and things get worse……many things i cant type happens on daily basis. which i cannot type all…it is killing my self esteem…someone should advice me on what to do.as my hubby was not allowed to leave without building his own house been the.only son and family custom

please i need advice on what to do from experienced and matured minds.

My dear, issues like this is mostly spiritual to the detriment of you and your husband. Pray well for your husband.

All these annoying custom ish.....madam I guess you were aware of this custom b4 u agreed to marry him... Watz with d complain now??

Hjfhfhffk

Abeg look for 50k house and rent.

Lizzyangel:

is anybody in the house feeling or have felt the same way am feeling? right now i am going crazy. i have been living with them(father,mother,and siblings inlaw) for past 4yrs and things get worse……many things i cant type happens on daily basis. which i cannot type all…it is killing my self esteem…someone should advice me on what to do.as my hubby was not allowed to leave without building his own house been the.only son and family custom

please i need advice on what to do from experienced and matured minds.

It is practically impossible to do anything but pray,because frankly NOTHING you do will ever please them and if they are not godly people they will make your life a living hell,trust me, may God cause you to find favour and have a home of your own speedily.

Enrol for an academic programme in a distance university and tell them u r moving to a hostel. Don't be deceived, other option is divorce. Thank me later after 2019 election.

and who say u and ur husband cant rent apartment

Marrying only son is not easy. Keep your home woman.

afamaustin:
and who say u and ur husband cant rent apartment

. The village traditional priest.

wow!.. must he build a house? how about renting? even if it is just one room, you guys should just try abeg.
but how come this issue wasn't addressed before you got married?

..and what is your husband doing about it?

He who decides to swallow a whole coconut must make sure he has a trustworthy anus.

Zico5:
Since u are a woman, u can still manage till ur hubby is ready to leave or build his house. Some family don't read big meaning to it. But as a man, living with an in-laws is an abomination. A man should be able to provide some basic things which accommodations is part of. Living with in-laws demean a man and make him useless.

Na so. Always the woman to manage and manage.

angelTI:
Is OP's story for real? In this age? The man can't rent an apartment but build because it's family custom? O ga o!

It happens. A Lot more than you think

Just try to love every member of that family.... Tho am not in your shoes I don't knw how tough the war is....But love covers everything in life...d more u love dem the less dey offend you...And besides make your husband your best friend @diz moment,give time for discussion and above all PRAY about it and God wll help you.....

Can't you guys relocate?
You can control this spiritually
Mind you it never has been pretty anywhere except you come from a rich home and they depend on you financially.

Am a father and a husband. Marriage involves moving from parents to create your own home, else you are not completely married. Even your own parents would want to control your life.

Pray until that yoke is broken. Satan uses things like this to make people perpetually unhappy. Let you and you husband reach an agreement. Though it becomes a bit difficult when your husband does not have a mind of his own and when he partly or fully depends on the resources of his parents.

Am not too close to my parents because I run my home. If a man can't make decisions like this then it's gonna be a bit hard. Couples are supposed to live outside influences and distractions. And when you get used to this it's becomes a perpetual bondage.

I rather sleep under the bridge to have a control over my home than enjoy choice wine and meals in a family house and watch my freedom and that of my wife and kids lost.

But the power is in your hands and knees

I doubt if this tradition is functional anywhere in this country.

The tradition presupposes that, the first son must not live or settle down in any other city other than, where his parents have their house ie mostly where he grew up aka their village.

In this 21st century, most people leave their village or where they grew up, once they starts their post-secondary education, after which they only pay occasion visit to the place.

Rather find ways to cop, why not find ways to escaped the confinement. Can your husband or yourself find a job in another city? At least further enough to make daily commutes back to the house impractical? Look in to that, you guys can use that pretense to rent an apartment.

Pray:
. The village traditional priest.

Smile..As if u were there...

hahn:
Do you have a job? You can also help your husband raise funds for the house

Were you deceived to living with his parents? Didn't you discuss the issue of accommodation with him before getting married?

To eve add to that, doesn't she reads in the scripture ( except if you are not a Christian though), that for this reason shall a man leave his father and mother...just surprised at some so called family unpleasant customs.

hahn:
Do you have a job? You can also help your husband raise funds for the house

Were you deceived to living with his parents? Didn't you discuss the issue of accommodation with him before getting married?

To even add to that, doesn't she reads in the scripture ( except if you are not a Christian though), that for this reason shall a man leave his father and mother...? Just surprised at some so called family unpleasant customs.

hahn:
Do you have a job? You can also help your husband raise funds for the house

Were you deceived to living with his parents? Didn't you discuss the issue of accommodation with him before getting married?

To even add to that, doesn't she read in the scripture ( except if you are not a Christian though), that for this reason shall a man leave his father and mother...? Just surprised at some so call family unpleasant customs.

most times you ladies re bossy. learn how to accommodate n no how to adapt cuz it shouldn't always b how u wants tins done. it can b from ur in-laws side though but try n always accommodate. speaking from experience

Pray:
Enrol for an academic programme in a distance university and tell them u r moving to a hostel. Don't be deceived, other option is divorce. Thank me later after 2019 election.

Lolsss u no even tell dem make den Pray

bilulu:
most times you ladies re bossy. learn how to accommodate n no how to adapt cuz it shouldn't always b how u wants tins done. it can b from ur in-laws side though but try n always accommodate. speaking from experience

Remember it's Four years now ooo...Hummmm

Pray:
. The village traditional priest.

and u people accepted in this modern world.unless u guys dont hv money to rent one bedroom flat. befor l forget let thunder fire d village prist dat u people will nt rent house and e njoy ur beatiful marriage

searchng4love:

My dear why did you guys get married at all in the first place? The Bible says that for this reason shall a man leave his father and mother.... And cleave into his wife and they shall become one flesh..... Your husband sounds irresponsible or maybe you trapped him with marriage that he was not ready for... My dear you are not yet married.... It's in your best interest to be properly married and not just cohabiting in your in-laws house.... Build house ko .. Erect mansion ni

Believe me you just wrote a whole lot of nonsense!
Because one is married and living in the family house then he is not married?
COME ON GET SENSE!

Lizzyangel:

is anybody in the house feeling or have felt the same way am feeling? right now i am going crazy. i have been living with them(father,mother,and siblings inlaw) for past 4yrs and things get worse……many things i cant type happens on daily basis. which i cannot type all…it is killing my self esteem…someone should advice me on what to do.as my hubby was not allowed to leave without building his own house been the.only son and family custom

please i need advice on what to do from experienced and matured minds.

My mom was living with me when I got married. When my wife moved in, it was ww3. Women pick on every single crap they can find. I bet your father inlaw is not the case! Men tend to live well with daughter inlaws and know how to overlook things but women?
Having said that, my best advise is to move out with your husband. Get a place of your own even if it's face me I face you! Trust me you will be happier in a public house than a family house. You can sing with dry voice at 5am and no one will complain, you can walk around naked and no one will talk! You can chose not to cook and buy mama put rice and it's fine while in family house you must cook for everybody! I can go on till tomorrow but bottom line is you guys need to move out. Leave that only son bullsh!t and tradition nonsense! The gods that made those rules are not the ones going through hell with you now.

If you want to cope, accept your situation and work towards retaining their goodwill but remember that you will likely remain a house guest there except maybe you have your own separate quarters. Personally, I won't live with my in-laws permanently or for long. Its never ideal. Fences make good neighbours.

iamGraced:
@ Op I know how you feel, I have 2nd hand experience on this issue, trust me it would never ever get better unless your husbands wakes up to his responsibility as a man. He is still living in a fools cocoon of family ties, its a very selfish move cos he would always have his family support whereby your ppl are probably miles away. I have three advice for you which I gave to one who was previously in your shoes and it worked like magic.

1) Hopefully circumstances hasn't made you cut off with family? Make your mama and sisters your best friends and confide in them provided you have godly n understanding family members, ask for motherly insights and their prayers.

2) Begin to channel prayer points to the life of your husband, ask God to connect him with responsible and matured friends who would snap him out of this runt in way of showing him via example how a man should handle his family and pray to God for financial breakthrough ASAP.

3) Pray to God for patience to deal with your in-laws and pray that he severes the bonds of overdependence from your husband and make him begin to feel shame for not having even a hut to call his.


Finally, I know ppl may say who prayer EPP but trust me it would help you. Stay strong sis, n God bless your decisions.

am with u...this is the best advice. Take heed sis. May God help u