It is that time of the year again in themonth of February, when there is somuch talk and excitement about romanceand love, all in preparation for thatspecial day dedicated to love, romanceand dalliance, this very day, Valentine’sDay.
The romantic propaganda can bereally oppressive.In the past few days for example, GSM serviceproviders have insisted that the only ring tonethat fits this season is the one that forces youto think of romance, just in case you may haveforgotten. I didn’t solicit for the ringtone, but Igot it all the same and I have had to listen to it,on other people’s lines, and I guess it doesn’tcome free.The GSM companies are making money sellingValentine messages. And that is the point: thefrenzy over Valentine’s Day is commercial,capitalistic, and it is of course, global. In theUnited States, even the White House is not leftout, with the First Lady composing a poem forPresident Barack Obama on this specialoccasion. It is all mushy, lovey-dovey stuff. Theeventual beneficiaries are the business outfitsthat produce printing cards, shirts, chocolates,cakes, the restaurants that will probably remainopen till Feb. 15, not to talk of the companiesthat will benefit from the many phone calls, e-mails and text messages.Sometimes, I find Valentine’s Day a bitsuffocating, feminist, and discriminatory. Thisyear’s celebration falls on a Sunday , otherwise itwould also have been observed in schoolsincluding nursery and kindergarten schools. On aschool day, all the pupils would have beeninstructed to dress up in red colour and to bringgifts for their friends. The children are innocentbut their teachers, especially in the privateschools, initiate them into this annual ritual.Last year, there was so much red colourblinding the eyes on the streets. I also saw oldmen and women, even widows, joining thecelebration, refusing to be left out of their shareof the love in the air. And later in the day ofcourse, the restaurants usually take over andthe ultimate show of chivalry is for a man to beseen taking his Valentine for candle-lit dinner, orto go on his knees and pop the question, or toexchange wedding vows on this special day.It is as if this is the only day meant for love,and the flow of affection is generallyunderstood around here to be from man towoman. The emphasis is not even on pure,unadulterated love; but physical romance. Ineverything there is a suggestion among theyounger generation that a Valentine’s Dayexpression of love is the truest form ofaffection, which it is not. The overwhelmingfocus on purchasing power as a measure oflove and affection makes it worse. This hasresulted in some commentators lamenting thatgiven the economic austerity in the land,Valentine’s Day this year may not be asexciting, because as the common saying goes,“there can be no romance without finance!”. Inthe past, a poem or a letter or a bouquet offlowers would do, but I hear, not anymore. Ournew age Nigerian ladies no longer read loveletters, nor are they interested in poetry- thoseforced rhymes and sweet nothings meant tomake the heart flutter don’t seem to workanymore.These days, I have heard such comments as:“we have not received salary, how man go take doValentine?” and I have seen a cartoon in which ahusband tells his wife that they will be better offspending the whole day in church! It is perhapsmore advisable to celebrate Agape, church lovethan to dig a hole in the pocket and tell storiesthat touch the heart later.I am not against anyone celebrating love, butthe desperation, the heartache and the sheeranxiety that now attends Valentine’s Day is abit over the top. People should not have toborrow or rob a bank to prove that they love awoman. And this whole thing about romanticlove is curious. In any relationship at all,physical love is not enough. It takes a lot moreto build relationships.It should be possible to spend Valentine’s Daywith family members, friends, and othermembers of the community. And you shouldn’thave to wear red as if you are going to a Sangoshrine, or appear like a masquerade, beforeanyone knows that you want to celebrate love.How about a visit to the motherless babies’home, or the prisons, hospitals, or a visit to thecemetery to remember your departed lovedones. Or quality time spent at home with thechildren or phone calls to old time friends towish them well. Love should not be measured inloud decibels of a one-day excitement; it shouldbe a value, extended in all kinds ofrelationships.This is one lesson the excitable young crowd,that is going to troop out to the clubs andrestaurants today, must learn, and which theywill learn. They should ask the older generation.I doubt if there are many married men andwomen out there who are still having butterfliesin their stomachs as they did many years ago,over a certain unknown St. Valentine. Real lifeteaches hard lessons. The older generationwould have learnt that love grows, and it fades,and it is better as a life-long experience, whileromantic love is just one of many other kinds oflove, including self-love, and this thing calledlove is not necessarily in real life, exactly as theHoly Book says it should be.It is only in the Bible that love exists insuch fantasy form as described in 1 Corinthians13: 4-8: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does notenvy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It doesnot dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it isnot easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with thetruth. It always protects, always trusts, alwayshopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. Butwhere there are prophecies, they will cease, wherethere are tongues, they will be stilled; where thereis knowledge, it will pass away.” In real life,love is proud, boastful, easily angered,expensive, self-seeking, vengeful…imagine thekind of atrocities that have been committed inthe name of love!As we mark this year’s Valentine’s Day, I thinkof the quality of love in our community, and it issad that there is a damning scarcity of it.Those who will observe the Valentine ritual, andmay forget the subject of love by tomorrowmorning, are in the majority: they claim to begood men and women, but they are not theirbrother’s keepers. They include young girls whowill never be allowed to marry young men fromother ethnic groups because of the deep-seatedsuspicions that have divided Nigeriancommunities into primordial camps of hate. Wehave parents, teachers, leaders and priests, whopromote division rather than unity. We are acommunity of broken dreams and shatteredhopes. Hypocrisy has become a virtue. Someof the young people change their partners everyValentine season, collecting Valentine gifts likethey are striving to build a museum of romanticencounters. Many of those who will profess lovetoday do not even know what it means.And yet we are a religious society and all thereligions teach love as an important virtue andvalue. But I doubt if anyone listens. Even thereligious leaders are guilty. One so-called 50-year old Pastor Amakiri has just been accusedof raping a 12-year old child. He saw a visionthat he needed a “holy massage” to beadministered by a young girl between the agesof 12-15, on his “badly aching waist.” He haschildren at home between the ages of 6 and 14,and he could have sought medical help. OnlyGod knows how many other lives this particularPastor has damaged with false visions and cruelopportunism. Our schools should teach love, butwas it not in a Nigerian school that a studentonce slaughtered a teacher in broad daylight?And was it not from a school that innocentyoung girls were carted away and abducted?Parents should help teach love too, but manyparents are too busy monitoring that bank alertthat will make them breathe easier. Marriageshould nurture love, but was it not in Ibadan theother day that a young, married lady, drove aknife into her husband’s neck wounding himmortally because he had a child outsidewedlock. And elsewhere in this same country,another married woman reportedly butcheredher husband’s manhood, into two, because hewas caught with another woman.Yes, it is Valentine’s Day but it is the Devil thatrules the heart of many. Pastor Amakiri hasbeen quoted saying “Don’t blame the Devil, I didit.” Of course, you did it, and are we supposedto clap for you? The Devil has never beenconvicted in any court of law for committing acrime. Think also of the usual stories about theshenanigans of governance and the oddities ofpublic life. The list is endless, providing asobering backdrop to all the ebb and flow ofValentine spirit. People are taught the idea oflove by the ritual of Valentine’s Day, but that isnever enough for building relationships and astrong community of citizens. We need asociety built on much deeper friendships andvalues.This is perhaps partly why there have been anti-Valentine’s Day protests in India and Pakistan,where its celebration is said to be “againstreligious and cultural norms.” I don’t think a daywill ever come when the Nigerian authorities willban anyone from having a day of fun, evenlicentious fun, for those who are sopredisposed. But if you must indulge in ribaldry,remember it is nonetheless a day for loving notdying, and that promoting love, friendship, goodcitizenship, and unity as shared communalvalues is important. And if you are pro-Valentine and nobody remembers to send you acake, a message, or a card, since there is thisgeneral expectation that everyone shouldcelebrate Valentine, don’t despair, it is better tobe loved everyday, than once. As for me, I’llspend the day with family and friends.

Summary pls...

hmmmm

dacblogger:
Summary pls...

lazy nigerians. read and summarize

donp14:

lazy nigerians. read and summarize

dacblogger:

u dey vex?

donp14:

u dey vex?

Isn't it obvious enough?

dacblogger:

Isn't it obvious enough?

ndo ohhh. kpele. er u ok with that . ohh i forgot am coming let me ask buhari the spelling of sorry in hausa

McBrooklyn:

---

u no well ooo

donp14:
u no well ooo

You think so??

McBrooklyn:


You think so??

i say so.

donp14:
i say so.

Good for you...

McBrooklyn:


Good for you...

abeg i no get ur power

donp14:
abeg i no get ur power

K!

McBrooklyn:


K!

tanks