MARRIAGE IS HARD WORK! !!!!!!
Especially for a real Woman

I used to interpret the saying "Marriage is not for small boys" to mean small boys in terms of age, until I visited a female mentor that has been in marriage for 47 years.

I asked, so what is the secret of your over 47 years in marriage?

Beaming, she retorted; My son, the expectations you bring into marriage will either spell its doom or success. I married my husband without expectations of enjoying his money or buying cars for me, but with time, my patience, hard work and God-fearing attitude yielded results of getting cars, houses, taking care of our children and all that.
You see, if a married lady keeps on nagging in the house, she pushes the spirit of her husband from the home. If you make the man unhappy, you make the house ungovernable.
So, I married without high expectations from my husband but simply to make him happy always.
Yes, for the past 47 years, I would be the first to get up from bed and the last to go back to bed. I bath the kids, do devotions with them, prepare breakfast for my husband and boil hot water for him to bath. I iron his dresses he would take to work, kiss him and wish him the best in his daily endeavours.
I asked my old woman, so then does the man do in return? She laughed all heart and hearty and replied; You see, this is the mistakes you young ones make in marriage. YOU DO SOMETHING TO YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE AND EXPECT SAME REWARD FROM HIM OR HER, THUS WRONG.
When it becomes your attitude to always please your husband or wife, the other person responds back naturally. Indeed, if nothing touches the palm tree, it doesn't rattle.
She continued, my son, never carry how rich or poor your family is into marriage. After all, you knew very well the status of your family and decided to marry that man or woman.
Love only compels would be couples into marriage but it doesn't sustain marriage. Rather, understanding, patience, communication and most importantly, forgiveness sustain every marriage. High expectations are the symptoms of divorce in marriages.
Sometimes you hear, I want to marry a mother, a business partner, God fearing person etc. You can't get all your expectations in one person. With time and depending on your relationship, you may get some. So minimise your expectations in marriage.
To cut the long story short, as too much cook spoil the broth, she concluded on the mistakes couple should resist at all cost in marriage:
1) Never say you have made your wife or husband somebody from a nobody. It hurts. God only use you as an agent for transformation, give the glory to Almighty God .
2) Let the man be head financially, emotionally and physically whilst the woman exerts headship spiritually and be diligence in the use of the tongue.
3) Children are not the ultimate in marriage. They are given to enhance your marriage. When God delays in giving you a child, have every reason to live a happy marital life.
4) Sex is a major morale booster after a hard day's stressful life. Try to be sexual beings and not "Angels" in that marriage
5) Resort to God often and less to men to solve your marital disputes.
6) Let the women " Make up" their characters much more than they make up their body.

Indeed, marriage is not for small boys because small boys struggle to forgive, demand everything speedingly, lack the patience to wait, have so many friends etc.

Make every effort to let that marriage work and may God help us.

Why is it that only the women gets to be blamed if anything goes wrong?

What about the men?
Are they all saints?

Dyt:
Why is it that only the women gets to be blamed if anything goes wrong?

What about the men?
Are they all saints?

A good woman should be able to maintain peace in her home...

johnson232:

A good woman should be able to maintain peace in her home...

Sorry to ask @ Johnson232, Are u married? Before you answer me, I can deduce from your statement that you aren't married but if peradventure your answer becomes yes, I would then say that you are a man and not a women, hence, your easy statement that " a good woman should be able to maintain peace in her home". Wetin happen! Una wan kill women? It now seems as if it's only a woman's responsibility to make marriage work. Huh! I feel for married women honestly, because they carry such a huge responsibility in the name of marriage. May God fight for all mistreated married women amen!

johnson232:

A good woman should be able to maintain peace in her home...

Na dem dem.

dem don come

Women should do backflip and Jackie Chan just to keep marriage because the mumus think marriage is only important to the woman.

I see a future, were women will be less obsessed and less interested in marriage,then tables will turn.

I didn't read the epistle.
Marriage is highly overrated in my opinion. I just see it as a business venture signed by two willing and equal partners with a clause to part ways amicably when it becomes overwhelming cos our society is so hypocritical when talking about marriage.

Joavid:



I see a future, were women will be less obsessed and less interested in marriage,then tables will turn.

The future is already here. You can be a lesbian or do a sex change. The choice is yours.

Women are drama Queen's by default. So maintaining peace is really hard work for them. Let's call a spade a spade. Even btw woman to woman. They can hardly coexist.

Apart from all the drama, an average Nigerian woman will basically not accept your proposals if they don't see any financial prospects from you. Pure and simple.

I'm just being realistic.

Joavid:



Na dem dem.

dem don come

Women should do backflip and Jackie Chan just to keep marriage because the mumus think marriage is only important to the woman.

I see a future, were women will be less obsessed and less interested in marriage,then tables will turn.

A future without marriage? Thats every mans dream

Why do you think its women that asks what are your plan for this relationship

If a man gets free sex, and kids while being able to raise his kids do you think he cares about marriage? That is just to make the woman happy

raumdeuter:


If a man gets free sex, and kids while being able to raise his kids do you think he cares about marriage? That is just to make the woman happy

Wrong
Marriage is never all about sex and kids

Well
Maybe that's what you see marriage to be

I wanna be married to my friend
My lover
My gossip mate
My sex slave
A good cook
Romantic
A man that's got lots I mean lots of respect for me and the kids
A play mate
A man with a high sense of humor
Smart
Dude must be able to wow me all round and round

I am asking for too much already

Future husband
I am sure you are reading this

Dyt:


Wrong
Marriage is never all about sex and kids

Well
Maybe that's what you see marriage to be

I wanna be married to my friend
My lover
My gossip mate
My sex slave
A good cook
Romantic
A man that's got lots I mean lots of respect for me and the kids
A play mate
A man with a high sense of humor
Smart
Dude must be able to wow me all round and round

I am asking for too much already

Future husband
I am sure you are reading this

That is what you want, And its similar to what most women want,

All these things can be achieved without marriage.

Women desire marriage more, they push for marriage more, in relationships its the women who try to define it towards marriage

If you offer a guy no marriage while you continue to have sex and kids with him and him having the opportunity to raise his kids, A lot will take it immediately

Dyt:
Why is it that only the women gets to be blamed if anything goes wrong?

What about the men?
Are they all saints?

I tire

raumdeuter:


That is what you want, And its similar to what most women want,

All these things can be achieved without marriage.

Women desire marriage more, they push for marriage more, in relationships its the women who try to define it towards marriage

If you offer a guy no marriage while you continue to have sex and kids with him and him having the opportunity to raise his kids, A lot will take it immediately

Iddoke
Ezzzzz ok

Dyt:


Wrong
Marriage is never all about sex and kids

Well
Maybe that's what you see marriage to be

I wanna be married to my friend
My lover
My gossip mate
My sex slave
A good cook
Romantic
A man that's got lots I mean lots of respect for me and the kids
A play mate
A man with a high sense of humor
Smart
Dude must be able to wow me all round and round

I am asking for too much already

Future husband
I am sure you are reading this

Don't worry, I'm reading this & I will find you & marry you. Just wait for me.

@ sauerr, raumdeuter, truthsayer007.

Historically, marriage was important for women because they couldn't have careers but now, never in the history of the world have more women been willing to forego marriage for career than now.

The “obsession” with marriage is a cultural phenomenon.
Typically, many women are drawn to giving birth and the safest most secure way to create a family is with a husband. It looks better if the father is your husband but with the spread of feminism and liberal values from the West, pre-marital sex is now the norm, I would guess that procreation is a strong driver in most women as it is for most men.

I don't see a point to explaining the perks of a good marriage with or without children, since I'm almost sure the issue is cultural indoctrination.

It will do us a lot of good to stop reading Cinderella, Snow white, Beauty and the Beast etc to our daughters.

Plus, in the far future, I see women opting to be childfree. The whole joys of motherhood thing is just another part of cultural indoctrination.

Ehhhhh
Why did you deactivate

Ask TONTO!
Or. . . . .

Ask TTT of BBN!

Thank my H-Agnostic Gaaaad! I have tasted marriage!
NEVER AGAIN! Too much DRAMA I swear!

Companions only.

Joavid:
@ sauerr, raumdeuter, truthsayer007.
Historically, marriage was important for women because they couldn't have careers but now, never in the history of the world have more women been willing to forego marriage for career than now.
The “obsession” with marriage is a cultural phenomenon.
Typically, many women are drawn to giving birth and the safest most secure way to create a family is with a husband. It looks better if the father is your husband but with the spread of feminism and liberal values from the West, pre-marital sex is now the norm, I would guess that procreation is a strong driver in most women as it is for most men.

I don't see a point to explaining the perks of a good marriage with or without children, since I'm almost sure the issue is cultural indoctrination.

It will do us a lot of good to stop reading Cinderella, Snow white, Beauty and the Beast etc to our daughters.

Plus, in the far future, I see women opting to be childfree. The whole joys of motherhood thing is just another part of cultural indoctrination.

There is no culture where the women dont desire marriage.. Naturally a teenage guys dream is to sleep with 100 girls, a teenage girls dream is to have the best guy in the world devoted to her holding hands and loving her for life


Let a guy come with you with a proposal, . Joavid, Lets be dating for the next 30yrs, we will live together have kids but will never get married.

Yay or Nay

Give this same proposal to 10 women and see how many will take this option

raumdeuter:


There is no culture where the women dont desire marriage.. Naturally a teenage guys dream is to sleep with 100 girls, a teenage girls dream is to have the best guy in the world devoted to her holding hands and loving her for life

you're repeating the same thing. This is not an argument to win or lose. we're having a discussion, if you understand that, you will not repeat the above.

Let a guy come with you with a proposal, . Joavid, Lets be dating for the next 30yrs, we will live together have kids but will never get married.

Yay or Nay

Fortunately for me, I'm not the type that likes proposals and all the festivities that accompanies it. I prefer things to grow and evolve naturally.

Give this same proposal to 10 women and see how many will take this option

I think you need to read what I wrote again, read to understand.

Dyt:
Why is it that only the women gets to be blamed if anything goes wrong?
What about the men?
Are they all saints?

God, please help me to Marry right, irrespective of the challenges in marriage that is inevitable.
Atleast the right woman will make my life heaven on earth and her's too, irrespective of earth's challenges that have no Root..

Yes, it's hard work. If both are not ready to work for it, forget it, it can never work.

raumdeuter:


A future without marriage? Thats every mans dream

Why do you think its women that asks what are your plan for this relationship

If a man gets free sex, and kids while being able to raise his kids do you think he cares about marriage? That is just to make the woman happy

@bold: not necessarily true.

Had a vigil today and when prayers were called for people who want to marry between now & next year, you need to se the young guys trooping out.

Most people desire marriage.

And marriage is not just to make a woman happy; infact, if we go to the basics, marriage is actually to cater to men and make them happy.

raumdeuter:


There is no culture where the women dont desire marriage.. Naturally a teenage guys dream is to sleep with 100 girls, a teenage girls dream is to have the best guy in the world devoted to her holding hands and loving her for life


Let a guy come with you with a proposal, . Joavid, Lets be dating for the next 30yrs, we will live together have kids but will never get married.

Yay or Nay

Give this same proposal to 10 women and see how many will take this option

A teenage guy might want to sleep with 100 girls (depending on training & orientation), however, he will want a wife to himself who will give him kids and be a domestic support.

I see guys all around and they all desire marriage at a point; so they are settled and can launch back into the deep with a wife taking care of the home front (ideally).

Again, most guys I know (except abused) are very good 1st time lovers till the unserious girls break their hearts and they harden.

Even cohabitation is still 'marriage' without the ceremony

@Joavid, I don't see a future without marriage.

Even homosexuals are pushing for right to marry.

I only see more of women defining themselves outside their marriage.

bukatyne:
@bold: not necessarily true.

Had a vigil today and when prayers were called for people who want to marry between now & next year, you need to se the young guys trooping out.

Most people desire marriage.

And marriage is not just to make a woman happy; infact, if we go to the basics, marriage is actually to cater to men and make them happy.

Men still need kids and sexx,
The guys might be people desirous of having kids.

If this isnt a church setting where they will be judged and tell the guys that ok you also have an option of a live-in girlfriend who will give sex regularly and have kids but you will never marry legally. See how many will take this

Ask around among the people you know boys and girls, give them the option of cohabiting vs marriage and see who picks what more

I think I have asked you before, If your BF tells you Bukatyne I love you so much, lets forget about this thing called marriage just move in with me and lets start raising kids. But we will never get married, Yay or Nay?

raumdeuter:

Men still need kids and sexx,
The guys might be people desirous of having kids.

If this isnt a church setting where they will be judged and tell the guys that ok you also have an option of a live-in girlfriend who will give sex regularly and have kids but you will never marry legally. See how many will take this

Ask around among the people you know boys and girls, give them the option of cohabiting vs marriage and see who picks what more

I think I have asked you before, If your BF tells you Bukatyne I love you so much, lets forget about this thing called marriage just move in with me and lets start raising kids. But we will never get married, Yay or Nay?

Men need more than sexX & kids.... Widowers with sexx on the regular still re-marry.

These guys were still 'young' & could be content with 'sexx' till next year instead of looking for marriage within next one year. I am also sure most of them have steady sexmates so lack of didn't prompt their decision.

Cohabitation makes no sense to me because there is no difference without the rites.

I agree that a man can evenjoy treat his side chic better and will all his stuff to her when he dies but what does the rites cost?

If I see a couple already cohabiting, I just say do the rites. .. if I see a couple about to jump into, I will say don't.

KanwuliaExtra:
Ask TONTO!
Or. . . . .

Ask TTT of BBN!

Thank my H-Agnostic Gaaaad! I have tasted marriage!
NEVER AGAIN! Too much DRAMA I swear!

Companions only.

Are you divorced?

InyinyaAgbaOku:

Are you divorced?

Habaaaaaa!
NL for don splash am ke!

KanwuliaExtra:


Habaaaaaa!
NL for don splash am ke!

Ok, I thought you said marriage, never again.

Anyway he has a nice body

InyinyaAgbaOku:


Ok, I thought you said marriage, never again.

Anyway he has a nice body

I meant no more marriage o.
If this wan no work, I will NOT repeat the bondage exercise o! Lai Lai!!!

Companions only.
Soooooooo overrated!
Sheeeeeeesh!

Joavid:



Na dem dem.

dem don come

Women should do backflip and Jackie Chan just to keep marriage because the mumus think marriage is only important to the woman.

I see a future, were women will be less obsessed and less interested in marriage,then tables will turn.

It's happening already trust me.
Marriage is overrated.

montezz:

It's happening already trust me.
Marriage is overrated.

Why is marriage overated?