it is human nature but very common with blacks

will share my experience and lesson learnt.

i have a mentor where i work, he has been in the system for 10yrs and i just got hired then, he helped me settled in and kind of be on the look out for me concerning my career path and other office bureaucracy. One day i mentioned my pay to him and bam the next day his comments became very inflammatory and his attitude isn't very warm any more. thou i was wise not to tell him the exact amount it didn't help issues.

2ND episode

I got promoted last month , 2steps ahead of my colleague and now he is raising hell that i didn't tell him about it right from onset, he is not talking to me now.

I'm yet to understand why i owe him that line of story , his argument is since he is my friend ( not boyfriend oh ) i would've told him right from onset.

The only smooth relationship i have in the office now is with a female friend of mine and i guess its because i have not told her any thing. my family members don't take No as an answer or later now concerning their demands just because i shared my goodnews with them.

Lesson learnt
Say less to people, friends, family members,colleagues,church members, pastors etc,




@bebe4u

Another lesson could be 'do not take what you are not ready to give'
Friendship demands, once you start to receive help and support from someone, it automatically places some demands on you too, that is why the guy expected that you would at least tell him you were promoted.

@shinatu,
please note, there are two different people i am makin reference to, with different reactions to different situations. and i believe we have choice of what we want to give out of the lot we have.

@ poster
From ur story, the comment of ur aunties might not really mean dat they are jelous. U are 2 quick 2 conclud dat dey are jealous. I dont c any jealousy there

Maybe the question should have been why are people always jealous of one's success and then the answer would have been 'because it is in the human nature to be jealous. However we have a positive and negative jealousy.
The negative one is the root of all evils while the positive tends to motivate one to work harder.

I see the subject is getting very interesting and safe too. Please lets keep it sweet. @cute4u, not sure if I got the ID right, but hey, its true what happen or is happening to you is very common.

Just as another poster said, its better to talk less, play safe and reduce the amount of jealousy you stir.

Personally, I was living between 40 and 42K per year, for a few years and most of my friends were happy with me, once I took professional exams, got qualified, stepped it up, it was bad belly all the way,

stuff like promotions, you can't hide them and I do not agree that, you owe a mentor anything other than respect. When you get promoted more than he is, sure would be jealous, sure you would too. I would, maybe for a few hours, then I'll be happy for you. Its natural, lets avoid it and sometimes, understand the people who safely exhibit it.

@ dominique,
Do not assume everyone on here is Nigerian or even African, some expats may even frequent this forum.

enomakos:

it is human nature but very common with blacks

My friend Oyinbo are more jealous and envious than us. Most of us are deeply religious and believe that God that provides for everyone, Oyinbo do not have that belief hence are more prone to jealousy and envy. Having said that, envy and jealousy  are not characteristic to any race or tribe. Fundamentally, we are all the same.

Its a very bad thing to be pissed at others peace.Anyway no babalawo fashioned against me will prosper, Period.

i have noticed that locally based Nigerians are jealous of the ones that have traveled out. The Nigerian police must not find out that you have american passport or you will be in soup. your every action is judged by anyone one around you. they say things like, " this is Nigeria" " they don go clean toilet for abroad finish come dey form for here" Young ladies think they can take advantage of you. When you speak with a foreign accent they accuse you of 'forming.' Friends and Relatives expect you to solve all their problems. When you import a used car, they try to devalue it by saying " moto wey oyinbo don use tire come turn am to scrap na im dem dey but take come do shakara. but given the opportunity, these same people would kill just to lay their hands on a visa.

Poster
I dont know. . . .

@Ibabalol,
I'll hate to admit that, you're right and once again, that's the human nature right there. When I first left Nigeria, I had a college prof. who emailed and called just to show me how dissatisfied he was, that I left the "struggle". How I'm not true Nigerian. Two years later he was out of Nigeria and told me, he is never going back.

The "this is Nigeria" thing? sure, once again its just human. Lets not run the risk of turning this topic to abroad guys Vs. home based folks. That topic is usually fiercely heated. But we just can't deny the fact that, there is iota of jealousy mixed with anger at the guys who are back home visiting.

jealous, jealous and jealous, it has bcum habits in Nigeria esp. if u are frm a polygamous settings, Am talkin 4m experience,may God help us.

UPS i always know that ,there must be a devil among them ,but one thing i know is that ,the will not stoop me from shining and any of them that will make a try (HOLY GHOST, FIRE will burn them . Amen

All of the time. Indeed it is a sad reality but some people just dont have a clean heart, rather than acknowledge the blessings infront of them they are eager to peak at those of the next man or woman, misery needs company is the Honest to God truth. The best way to deal with these people is to pray for them, love them from a distance and avoid them and their ways.

BEDE.IKE:

Its a very bad thing to be pissed at others peace.Anyway no babalawo fashioned against me will prosper, Period.

BIG UPS! nice avatar btw.

sophy09:
It is not only relatives that are jealous of one's success. Friends, neighbors and at times people you do not know. I was in

the bus, the traffic was something else. There was a young guy driving a latest car, he was trying to switch lanes and he

begged the bus driver for space in front of him. The guy in the bus screamed at the driver NO! He was so angry, "No, don't

give him any chance at all, all these rich men children. They  think they can just do anything they want." People in the bus

just turned to look at him. The driver was forced to ask if he knew him before. So my sister outsiders sef they jealous

people.

lol at this

enomakos:
it is human nature but very common with blacks

i wonder why.

janykute:
Nothing like an african culture,rather human nature.Oyibos too are jealous.

for where

cultey:




Anh anh.

So e don reach that level.

Anyway, if I were sitting next to that person, I go just switch seat, fiam!

hmmm

willoughby:
Why should they not be jealous, must times, the ones that does well in the family are the ones that the family believes are not capable of success,a nobody in the family,once a dullard, in short, hopeless. Now, all of a sudden, he becomes somebody without there help. Confirm, beef must set in. My brothers and sisters, it happened to me. Now am a superstar.[color=#990000][/color]

seriously,I love dis,na God go punish family members wey dey jealous about ur life,I think nigerian mentality is vry bad

Naaaaaa
I don't have such CHRISLAMIC relatives!
Actually, I don't come from such "beggardly" tribe of ne'er-do-wells!
My dear people too proud o!
They dun givva PHOCK what you gat or do nat gat!

No matter how wretched, WE DO NOT BEG for MONEY or HONEY!

FAMILY wickedness,evil marine,occult wickednes has been the problem of humanbeigns since the creation of humanbeigns by God if you read bible carefully you will understand this truth and it is only LIGHT and JESUSCHRIST POWER that destroys them and put them on chain from heaven if only you have access to that unbelevable POWER ,THE POWER OF GO AND SIN NO MORE

What is it now?