Destroy the controller

realmey:
Hello NL

I visited my father-in-law sometime in January this year
We had certain conversation that included him asking me to visit him either on a weekly or monthly basis

Hmmmm,it didn't go down well with me,though i said nothing so it does not look as if i'm disrespectful.

I made up my mind it was not going to be possible as ordinarily i felt he was trying to control me;i didn't bother visiting in February as i already decided to visit at my convenience.

I really don't know if i am wrong,pls ur sincere advice

Your father-in-law asked you to visit often and it's enough to seek advice from everyone online? Are you a woman? Sounds to me you were match-fixed.

A married man like you, expecting to stand for your family and you're running online because your father-in-law asked you to visit him frequently?

No wonder women are divorcing indecisive weaklings like you on a regular basis nowadays!

Just go once in a while, don't expose yourself.

Richy4:


I might be wrong though....But all I see is love that a father in law has towards his son in law....It oozes from him that he does not have a way to control it...There are people that doesn't have a son and Father in law relationship..in fact some father in laws cannot stand their son inlaws..except if the son in law was richer....But in your own case the love he has for you was a burden for u.. I believe you are a good guy that's why he loves your presence and companionship.....

I guess he doesn't have much kids that could be a reason why he was looking for an additional....Please give him a call as often as you can and visit as often as you can...I have learned that people die easily this days....happiness can prolong lifespan and it could be the joy of seeing you and his daughter in unity and coming to see him that might increase his life....Think about it bro... Ten mins inconvenience phone call twice a week from you and a visitation ones in a fortnight is not too much to save a life or is it?.....

Well said.It could be the love he has for his daughter and extended such to the son inlaw hence his request for the need to always see you come around in person.

Fortnight should be ok. He is aged and his last days should be appreciated.

OP, you must have been a good son inlaw.Give him your best time now that he is alive.

Just passing by

Visit him at your convenience. Na so nonesence dey take start. No give am chance to control you and please give him pikin belle quick before him change him mind about your marriage to his daughter

realmey:


well said brother bt he has sons.

He does not appreciate calls,he does not also believe in once in a while visits.

For instance when i call,it is said that i don't come around,when i come around,it is said i don't come often.

Its simple! He believes your human relationship needs managment. If you understand this, it is either he is correct or wrong. If he is correct, make calling + visiting him and some few people you have maintained distance from a project. A project that will see u improve your human relationship management. If he is wrong, make him a case study and treat him specially with a red zone called 'no control'.

See Nigerian men, you steal hin daughter finish you wan con run, lol.
On a serious note try to call once in a while and visit at your own convenience, too much familiarity breeds contempt.

I don't really blame the FIL. Maybe he noticed some ample time on your hands and felt he should pinch out of it, Howbeit, more frequently.

What if you guys don't stay in the same city? Or you can't afford to come as often.

See, families must know when to draw the line. The father is in his 70s and I believe has fulfilled his destiny. He should not help you spend yours and your family's.

This is some of the areas maturity and being the head of the family comes to play, and not by just having a penis.

If I were you, I would have subtly rejected the offer on the spot, except you have so much time to waste on frivolous visits and chitchats.

Ball is in your court.

Go at your convenience however, if it is easy to breeze in once in a while, you can always do it. It doesn't need to be too formal and there is no reason to want to make your mind think the way it is.

When u were dating their daughter, I believe their place is ur second home. My friend that's not controlling after all he hasn't ask u to wash his clothes and cars or even cook for him. Small boy in marriage.

He just want to be so proud of you...he wants his friends to be seeing you as a very good in law....I don't think anything is attached to that...grow up and develop your mentality sir...he is not trying to control you...I love seeing my son in laws...often...it makes me feeling great.

He just wants to enjoy u now b4 he dies
I wish my future in laws will like me like this o

realmey:
Hello NL

I visited my father-in-law sometime in January this year
We had certain conversation that included him asking me to visit him either on a weekly or monthly basis

Hmmmm,it didn't go down well with me,though i said nothing so it does not look as if i'm disrespectful.

I made up my mind it was not going to be possible as ordinarily i felt he was trying to control me;i didn't bother visiting in February as i already decided to visit at my convenience.

I really don't know if i am wrong,pls ur sincere advice

Why are people always thinking in a negative(-) way.

Just because he said you should visit him weekly or monthly and you started having different thought.

You are a wicked inlaw.Very wicked.

Maybe you think you are rich and your wife's family depend on you.

It’s not compulsory that you should visit him every week or every month. Go at your own convenience and I don’t mean only go once a year o, but keep in regular contact with him but let no one determine how often you should go as that should come directly from you and you only. In all, don’t neglect visiting him as he’s like a second dad to you now.

My dear your own is better, me it's the whole family that is trying to control me. When they say 'come' and I ask 'why' i will be called wicked person that is trying to seperate their Brother from them.

That one no be father in law . Na father out law.

If it was your father that made this request, would you be asking this question?

To the OP, if he's an Arsenal/Liverpool/ManU supporter, tell him you're a Chelsea supporter and you will be coming to watch Premier League games every week with him. Celebrate wildly when Chelsea wins and do 'Ntoor' when his team loses. He'll be the one to chase you away.

If he's a Chelsea fan, you're O-Y-O I'm afraid.

realmey:


*Not a polygamist

*Less busy

*In his 70's

*Far bt not too far

N.B:His wife is wt him nd his children are always wt him

I think he might be fond of you especially when you're the type of husband he has envisioned for his daughter, sometimes a man feels more comfortable me relating with another man facing what's he's going through like handling family and all. And it might be he feels he wants to connect with you before he goes after all you are going to take care of his daughter when he's gone. My grandad usually requests the same not because of it being compulsory but he's mostly surrounded by women . I hope I tried forgive any typo

All I can think of right now is CHUKS and ENE's Dad in TINSEL drama series! You sound like him!!!

realmey:
Hello NL

I visited my father-in-law sometime in January this year
We had certain conversation that included him asking me to visit him either on a weekly or monthly basis

Hmmmm,it didn't go down well with me,though i said nothing so it does not look as if i'm disrespectful.

I made up my mind it was not going to be possible as ordinarily i felt he was trying to control me;i didn't bother visiting in February as i already decided to visit at my convenience.

I really don't know if i am wrong,pls ur sincere advice

How often does his son/daughter visit him?

realmey:
Hello NL

I visited my father-in-law sometime in January this year
We had certain conversation that included him asking me to visit him either on a weekly or monthly basis

Hmmmm,it didn't go down well with me,though i said nothing so it does not look as if i'm disrespectful.

I made up my mind it was not going to be possible as ordinarily i felt he was trying to control me;i didn't bother visiting in February as i already decided to visit at my convenience.

I really don't know if i am wrong,pls ur sincere advice

nope u are not wrong man.. keep it up however try to find out the reason for such request from ur fatherinlaw, if it is due to loneliness den I advice u find a way around to visit him more frequently but definitely not at his requested period of time, remember u wil also get old someday.l

well... if your father-in-law na Dangote or Otedola and ask you same question i know you wont hesitate. You see your life? wen u wan marry u dey prostrate like lizard now they don give you wife finish u dey feel like say dey wan dey control u...sheraye?

Guy try and understand na, anytime you visit you drop something good - cash-wise the one you pay during the wedding don finish na

realmey:
Hello NL

I visited my father-in-law sometime in January this year
We had certain conversation that included him asking me to visit him either on a weekly or monthly basis

Hmmmm,it didn't go down well with me,though i said nothing so it does not look as if i'm disrespectful.

I made up my mind it was not going to be possible as ordinarily i felt he was trying to control me;i didn't bother visiting in February as i already decided to visit at my convenience.

I really don't know if i am wrong,pls ur sincere advice

my brother you are totally wrong, cos the father only transfer the love he has for his daughter to you and nothing more,he now took you like his own son and you will only make him happy by visiting him often.

realmey:


Just so he can see me often

Are you married to an all-girls family? Are you his first son-in-law? Maybe he loves you so much and always want to see you. Maybe he's preparing you to be the heir to his throne (or business).

Why not tell him you are quite busy and will make plans to start coming more regularly? What is the control there? What then would you say about wives who are literarily controlled by mother in-laws and husbands siblings and yet people still ask them to endure, move in and serve their husbands family in humility and never dare question abusers? If this is what you call control, that means you have no problem o.
He prolly likes you as a son. You may think his kids are with him but you do not know for sure if they are close confidants. Papa just wants you as one of his kids, he may be in his own imagination trying to fill the gap your mom and dad left. Stop being petty. If say him hold plenty money now, na you for dey force yourself visit the old man. I am sure of your mom had asked your wife to visit her, na you for dey pack her bags go drop her with your mom on a regular basis.

Is ur father inlaw on the down low ? Why will hhe want to see u like dat.