MIB1:


She said it happened once.

MIB1:


Long before we met .. About 6 yrs ago

Maybe pained is not.the right word

I'm just scared of the spiritual aspect like curses or something besides I know I will never have any good relationship with that cousin of hers

Majikals:
You are a lucky man finding such an honest spouse... She has confessed her errors before her maker and even you. Go ahead with your marriage with her cos she's a good woman. We have all made terrible errors at some point in life. Only a scarce few are bold enough to confess his /her deepest errors the way ur fiancee just did.
About the spiritual implications u are kinda worried about, if truly you are a Christian as u rightly said, I believe the Bible says he /she that confesses and believe is redeemed..You have nothing to fear

MIB1:


My worry is that , this is incest

MIB1:
My fiancee confided in me two days ago that she had an incest relationship with her cousin yrs back. She said she told me cos she loves me and wouldn't want to hide anything from me. I love her too and still want to marry her but I am devastated by the news

She said she has fasted and asked God for forgiveness.

I have prayed on her behalf too severally,

I am supposed to come to Nigeria for our wedding next month . pls help nairalanders. I feel so pained . I need wise counsel .

MIB1:


I love her , trust her , and still want to marry her . But how do I move past this and forge ahead .

adepeter26:

Of everything you typed, I disagree 101% at the boldened text. It's the society(collective of culture and to some extent religious beliefs) that frowns at it and not science.

linearity:


Can you point to any biblical verse to back this 'religious beliefs'? Note Israelite, the custodian of the Abrahamic religion, marry their consins till date.

When you say 'culture', which culture are you referring to? Without going far, in Nigeria, we have many cultures that marry their cousins e.g. Hausas, Fulanis...outside Nigeria, the Kongo in Congo, Ashanti in Ghana, the Kpelle in Liberia, etc...do it.

Agreed, there are some cultures that forbids it, but it is not universal and does not hold any spiritual significance.

AstuteJay:


Make no mistake about this brother, your woman made a smart move by telling you upfront. The relationship might be an open secret in her family and the fear it might eventually leak to you made her tell you upfront.

It happened just once........ Never fall for that crap! It must have happened a couple of times before they were caught and might happen again and again.

I had a similar experience; she told me upfront an uncle "raped" her, she got pregnant, it was aborted and all that. I was moved by her sincerity and took her to the altar. I eventually got to know she consented to it and it happened so many times! The fear it might get leaked to me overtime made her tell me upfront. The uncle was late before we met though, but mere thought of the affair is a bitter pill till tomorrow.

You may feel it doesn't matter now but 30 years from now, you might still be feeling bad about it.

Make a better choice!

Evaberry:


why will I be ashamed when he gave me the best Bleep in my life

JerryTemi:
If you say the truth your sin,if you lie,you are the best, if you share your deepest secrets,you are either news or doomed for life,you say the truth because you love the person my brother see your matter for nairaland table for special advice. Ladies my sweetest Advice live and die with your secret because our kind of men now wants the best when they are nothing compared to good. Bros the devil you no is better than that angel you don't no,if she no tell you bros you no go no.

MIB1:
My fiancee confided in me two days ago that she had an incest relationship with her cousin yrs back. She said she told me cos she loves me and wouldn't want to hide anything from me. I love her too and still want to marry her but I am devastated by the news

She said she has fasted and asked God for forgiveness.

I have prayed on her behalf too severally,

I am supposed to come to Nigeria for our wedding next month . pls help nairalanders. I feel so pained . I need wise counsel .

MIB1:


Long before we met .. About 6 yrs ago

Maybe pained is not.the right word

I'm just scared of the spiritual aspect like curses or something besides I know I will never have any good relationship with that cousin of hers

Acidosis:


Bro, you deserve to be worried, pained and confused. Don't allow any hypocrite make you feel like you're imhumane.

Whether it happened 1000 years ago, it doesn't matter. If these folks found out that their ex slept with a dog some 50 years ago, they would still find a way to show their dissatisfaction to the said ex.

If I were in your shoes, I would be devastated as well.. It doesn't matter whether she confessed or I discovered myself.. the knowledge of what happened is all it takes to get one pained, so don't feel stu p!d or heartless.

Now to the real issue, I think you're worried that the said relationship with her cousin might continue even after a proper wedding with you. Whether you like it or not, you would henceforth feel.....

ststyreal:
Your past is your past, this is y I keep telling people, some past should be buried forever. You weren't there @ op when she committed the incest so why the headache and to your good girl wifey wey confess her sins to you, what has she gained?. I just tire for some women wey no understand wetin marriage be. Some yeye men or husband can use this her confession to torment her at every slight provocation. She should focus on confessing and asking God for mercy and forgiveness and not to you. If God didnt condermn her, who are we to judge and conderm her. To your fiancee, help me tell her say, one nairalander dey greet am say" WELHDONE MA"!!!I clap for her, better wife smmmmh.
Just imagine if op na that man wey him wife report to nairaland was it not on Monday sef; she said her husband called her a VAGABOND!!!!!!. Just imagine if the wife had made this kind of confession to that said husband, by now that woman life go don scatter finish with continuous insult in reference to her confession. Women should be wise! It is not everything you will confess to your husbanddy, they are humans like us and can change at any point in time. This is my own stand, any mention is welcome!

MIB1:
My fiancee confided in me two days ago that she had an incest relationship with her cousin yrs back. She said she told me cos she loves me and wouldn't want to hide anything from me. I love her too and still want to marry her but I am devastated by the news

She said she has fasted and asked God for forgiveness.

I have prayed on her behalf too severally,

I am supposed to come to Nigeria for our wedding next month . pls help nairalanders. I feel so pained . I need wise counsel .

Donjazzy12:

God is good to you! Do not let sentiments cloud your vision. Dump her now! No amount of pretence will change the fact that she bleeped her cousin. You will live with that knowledge for the rest of your life. Just imagine it. She was not raped. She was willingly fucking her cousin. Dump her now. If you make the mistake of marrying her, you will be ruined for life. A word is enough for the wise.

diva90:


I agree, not everything should be divulged. Everyone has a past, past is past. Let it go!

Luiz1:
Me I just wan ask u a questn o bruh!. If every Tom, Dick, Harry and Jelili start to dey dump her nw as u say. Na who she go con marry na?

Luiz1:
Me I just wan ask u a questn o bruh!. If every Tom, Dick, Harry and Jelili start to dey dump her nw as u say. Na who she go con marry na?

Donjazzy12:

Nobody will marry her or another Churchill will marry her. The matter would have been different if the cousin raped her. But to willingly give her body to fucking her cousin is a total no-no for me.
In fact that woman may even be a witch!