Is love real If a man is rich and yet does not take care of his woman?

My question goes especially to guys, because I don't understand how a man who is rich enough, can go singing love to a very humble and understanding woman, and yet does not give her money. And when she asks, he says money is not used to measure love. And you can imagine how selfish he can be by making sure he gets the best for himself.

Some of them are married though, but I think that if a man loves or likes a woman, whether he is married or not, he should be fair enough in the relationship and not take the woman's love for granted.

Are you a lady? well i guess so. what alarms me is how you put it so plainly. "Give her money". Goodness what has relationships turned to this days. i mean i taught you guys are in love?? See the reason why sometimes i come to think that women are the call for the way they are being treated in a relationship?

oluflo:

my question is especially to guys. because I don't understand hw a man who is rich enough, can go singing luv to a very humble and understanding woman, and yet does not give her money. & when she asks.

If it happens that i happen to be rich, what does that have to do with me being in love with a girl and the responsibility of having to give her money when she ask for it? i just cant believe that someone can go ahead and say i have to give money when she ask!! We are not married for heavens sake, and giving her money is just like giving charity to the needy, not really a must do thing, just according to how i feel like doing. Because when i happen to be in a relationship all i needed at the first place was love from her and in return i give love back, not money back.

We all need to be carefull with ladies this days o..................

Small time women will be complaining that a man is not treating them right. How do you expect a man to respect you when he bought you? Give her money indeed.

Let me be a little bit sympathetic to oluflo's point of view.

I think our society encourages women to be dependent on men. While men are busy looking for "success", women are busy making their hair, washing clothes, sweeping with their backs bent, cooking without a timer (meaning you have to sit in the kitchen for hours), applying makeup, removing makeup, talking about makeup, et cetera. Women have been known to spend 4-8 hours at the hairdressers on Saturdays.

They are thought to be 'respectful' and pliable, to bend to the wishes of the men in their life. To spend all their time serving others instead of striving for independence. A young lady in my house is supposed to be studying for her SSCE, but she spends more hours on house chores than on her books.

So at any point in time, a woman is more likely to be in financial need than a man. Naturally, they want us to repay them for their 'sacrifices' by bringing money. What do you think?

Seun is that an excuse ?

Does that justifies the reason why it is obligatory for the guy to give when asked to show that he is not selfish at getting the best for himself common lets be real here.

And Seun the nice understanding guy, there is nothing to be sympathetic about.

seun:

Let me be a little bit sympathetic to oluflo's point of view. 

While men are busy looking for "success", women are busy making their hair, washing clothes, sweeping with their backs bent, cooking without a timer (meaning you have to sit in the kitchen for hours), applying makeup, removing makeup, talking about makeup, et cetera.  Women have been known to spend 4-8 hours at the hairdressers on Saturdays.

They are thought to be 'respectful' and pliable, to bend to the wishes of the men in their life.  To spend all their time serving others instead of striving for independence.  A young lady in my house is supposed to be studying for her SSCE, but she spends more hours on house chores than on her books.

So at any point in time, a woman is more likely to be in financial need than a man.  Naturally, they want us to repay them for their 'sacrifices' by bringing money.  What do you think?

I dont agree with your views Seun but I will let the women or ladies as Fela said on the forum fight their own battle. IF they cant stand up for themselves, well.......

The women cannot defend themselves because they don't see what I am saying as an attack. Nigerian women see any shame in what they see as: embracing their God-given role.

Why should a man have to go out, work all day earn some money so his wife can laze about without a care in the world?

Surely both should be trying to contribute to the family earnings?

I am a woman. I don't think it is a man's responsibility to give his girlfriend money! Is the girl jobless or doesn't she have parents to demand money from? That is why a man can slap you or shout at you anytime he feels like because he knows he is the source of your livelihood. If you make your own dough and you are independent, your husband will have so much respect for you. As for me, I place respect from my partner higher than so-called smooshy wooshy puppy love.
All the independent women who feel me, Holla!!!

Hunter, In practice, the women don't laze about at all. They just do the house chores [b]in addition to their day job[/b]s, which really is ridiculous. After work the husbands gets to watch TV and the wife gets to cook, clean, take care of kids, etc. Ridiculous! .

i believe the husbands dont know d usefulness of the women they have as wives so instead they just abuse the opportunity, and as for the women; they take it that way cos they believe that is what God created them for which can also be called natural duty. and this aint right.

I guess it's time we spoke up re this issue.

Men, I really hate to burst your bubbles for starters, but if you care to really look around you, you'll be amazed to see how many women hold the reigns of financial power in their homes. More often than not, I see women who gladly bail their husbands out on occasion, financially.

Now I know that might not be representing the majority. There is only one way to view this in my opinion, and I dare say most of the foregoing postings have been so far removed from the truth. It is unacceptable for a woman to fall in love with a man or be remotely influenced so to fall based on the strength of his bank account and assets. Understandably, it is an added advantage for a woman to marry a man who is well settled but it is by no means a criterion, or at least should not be.

In a scenario where I am married to a guy who is significantly wealthier than I am, we definitely will STILL pool our resources together to run the household. It is [I]NON SEQUITOR[/I] (most definitely does not follow) that because I take care of our kids, cook, wash, clean and do whatever it is I do for my husband, he must show his appreciation monetarily. How preposterous! How utterly untrue. It does not work that way, mate.

On the other hand, if a guy is wealthy and gets married to a girl from a humble background, the onus lies on him to bring her up to his standard. Since no 2 cases are the same, if in the process of bringing up the said woman, he realises that she is over demanding, he has every right to tighten the strings on his purse. If such a man is deliberately stingy or overtly frugal with economic matters with his wife, then he most certainly is asking for trouble and trust me…. He’ll get it eventually.

I know this is long, but I think it was absolutely necessary to set the record straight. You guys keep talking about us like you live in our skirts, think like we do or have the slightest idea what makes us tick. It would be a very lovely world not to mention peaceful if you men knew what women really want.

The same issue from a different perspective:
Men feel that a woman who truly loves them will not ask for money (why are girls so eager for money?).

That was a lengthy diatribe from RA. How are u anyway? I have come to expect, in my short time here, very incisive comments... my fear is that i hope you dont have beginnings of feminism in you... wont end up so well  at all... But i appreciate the mental output... quite shartp.... As per the women who turn themselves into doormats, they need to wake up make something of life and time./... God himself will not forgive them for wasting the grand old gift called time...

That's just being selfish

Ya got dosh?, y not give ya woman?

To me d guy is just plain stingy..STINKO..as my pple call it. Bone d chic shd nt be wiv him. A relationship is give and take o. Brothers pls take a cue.

IAH, Ra! You go girls!

A man strives to keep his woman happy, not only through physical manifestations, but also by making her comfortable, be it by buying stuff, giving her money to do certains things for herself et cetera.
Ladies don't think that this means you gotta just lay back and become some lazy ass who spends all her time on manicure and pedicure. You got to shake ass as well. Show your worth and that you can also pay bills! We've always wanted equality. Well, bon appettit!!

how can they refuse?
they have the cash to spend

so let them spend it on thire wives

such men are crap!!!!!!!!

Rhodalyn:

such men are crap!!!!!!!!

they are my sista,they are greedy

their greedy? but lets say if ur rich, would u give it to ur man as well?? or is this a one way street??
well said Alexis

interesting debate . i personally do not agree with the idea of the boyfriend giving the girl money. can't she work or earn some money of hers, must she depend solely on the guy and when has it become a do or die affair, that the guy must give the girl money,

ThoniaSlim:

interesting debate . i personally do not agree with the idea of the boyfriend giving the girl money. can't she work or earn some money of hers, must she depend solely on the guy and when has it become a do or die affair, that the guy must give the girl money,

See why i run around making mouth?? We reason alike

all this l;adies////, u just run after men for money , it aint abt money , giving u money should be optional and not mandatory as many fo u think , gold diggers,

I know a woman shouldn't depend totally on her husband for finance,however guys should consider the fact that our society demands a lot from the wife (those household chores can be time consuming).

Can you guys just give it some deep thought
The husband goes to work,likewise the wife and come back to watch football and stuffs,the wife on the other hand has got to think about the kids(how they get to school and how they come back from school),prepare the meals, clean the house and yet they want her to have nice hair styles_{(because they complain that women don't pay much attention to their looks after marriage and hence the reason why some of them cheat)}
And you here them shouting after paying the rent,the kid's school fees.
If the wife is financially alright n probably better than the husband,you hear the low esteem guys out there complaining that the wife is proud and stuffs.
If the wife takes her career too seriously,they complain that she has neglected her role as a wife.

How about you guys coming back from work and moving into the kitchen with their wifes,both of you thinking of how the kids get to school and how they get back home,how they rugs are hoofed,how the cloths are washed and stuffs.Then its alright,you can as well share the rent and the kids school fees.

Y'all wants to be respected.
Some of them wants their wifes to be full house wifes and they can't provide the wife's basic need.

Anyway,to the ladies,life has been like that and women need to rise up to the responsibility.We should try to be independent.We've got to flow with the guys,women should start to take their careers seriously as aside financial issues,most guys are turning out to be irresponsible,all wanting to get married,even though they are not ready to take up the responsibility of a father and husband.And besides you can command more respect from the guy and he won't get it into his head that he his the one responsible for your livelihood.

Then you can all plan how to get the kids to school,if he doesn't mind dropping them and picking them up when he is opportuned,get the cloths to the dry cleaners ,you can both hoof the rug on Saturdays or he can be there to cheer you up when you are doing the cleaning stuffs,he can help you in the kitchen when he's back from work or at least sit down and watch you do the stuffs,and you don't have to depend on him again.

You guyz make me laugh a times, WHO CAN DEFINE WHAT LOVE IS?

@kazey,
Tell me how can a man that is well to do and cant afford to give his babe money to take care of herself,but he can climb her and do whatever nonsense and come down and say thank you,baby i love you.
Will the lady eat love? will she use love to buy roll on,paint or even good soap to watch that honey his guy is always eating in the name of love.
If you know you cannot give a girl money because she is not your wife why not zip up and wait till you marry.
I can see that you are one of this stingy guys that like taking girls for granted.You will look good and will not take care of your babe,tomorrow you complain that she is sleeping with another man.
THINK.
You guys should stop deceiving yourselves with love nonsense cos love and money goes together.if you are not ready to give please zip-up and wait till you are ready.and please don't be stingy.

A man is under no legal or moral obligation to give money to a woman friend whom he is not married to.
It is his personal choice to give or not to give as the case may be, just as he would  make a similar choice to give financial assistance to other friends, acquaintances, or charities.

If the girl needs money regularly, perhaps she should  go out and get a job of work.

Ra:
I guess it's time we spoke up re this issue.

Men, I really hate to burst your bubbles for starters, but if you care to really look around you, you'll be amazed to see how many women hold the reigns of financial power in their homes. More often than not, I see women who gladly bail their husbands out on occasion, financially.

Now I know that might not be representing the majority. There is only one way to view this in my opinion, and I dare say most of the foregoing postings have been so far removed from the truth. It is unacceptable for a woman to fall in love with a man or be remotely influenced so to fall based on the strength of his bank account and assets. Understandably, it is an added advantage for a woman to marry a man who is well settled but it is by no means a criterion, or at least should not be.

In a scenario where I am married to a guy who is significantly wealthier than I am, we definitely will STILL pool our resources together to run the household. It is [I]NON SEQUITOR[/I] (most definitely does not follow) that because I take care of our kids, cook, wash, clean and do whatever it is I do for my husband, he must show his appreciation monetarily. How preposterous! How utterly untrue. It does not work that way, mate.

On the other hand, if a guy is wealthy and gets married to a girl from a humble background, the onus lies on him to bring her up to his standard. Since no 2 cases are the same, if in the process of bringing up the said woman, he realises that she is over demanding, he has every right to tighten the strings on his purse. If such a man is deliberately stingy or overtly frugal with economic matters with his wife, then he most certainly is asking for trouble and trust me…. He’ll get it eventually.

I know this is long, but I think it was absolutely necessary to set the record straight. You guys keep talking about us like you live in our skirts, think like we do or have the slightest idea what makes us tick. It would be a very lovely world not to mention peaceful if you men knew what women really want.

abeg tell me. I wan know o