MARRIED AND IN FRIENDSHIP WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX

Married people should avoid intimate friendship with the opposite sex! You read that right, close friendship with the opposite sex should be completely ruled out. Why? It's trickish. Things sometimes get out of hand, emotions explode and stories that touch the heart go viral. Heart shocking stories of celebrities, popular men of God, General Overseers, teachers, bosses, colleagues at work and social media friends often litter the places.

There is a thin line between platonic relationship and emotional entanglement. You don't plan affair, it just happens when rules are ignored, boundaries are over stepped and people start doing things they shouldn't be doing to their opposite sex friends for whatever reason under heaven!

How did the friendship start in the first place? Admiration, respect, preference and likeness. You like something about them, you prefer them, you think about them then make them your friend. You talk to each other, you emphasize the likes, something clicks in your heart and bonds you, you enjoy talking to them because they like you and give you attention.

You plan to meet them one on one, you loosen your guide. You don't mind if they hold your hands or hug you, you begin to hold hands and hug frequently, then regularly then you progressed, he strokes your hair because he likes it, you smiled, no big deal because you are "just" friends. He likes your face, then lips and he gave you a peck. His aim was really the lips but he decided to take things slow, next time it will be the lips and then, you are rolling in sheets totally engulfed in the fire of adultery!

You can't handle close friendship with the opposite sex! I don't know why we are so proud and stubborn in this part of the world, we hate correction. Anytime I speak against close opposite sex friendship in marriage, some naive people keep telling me they can handle it, no big deal until they lose their senses and their spouse boot them out of the marriage.

I take a month leave from the social media every year to upgrade my knowledge, do more research, think, read and pray. My recent findings have affirmed my conviction. Friendship with the opposite sex in marriage is dangerous. It bonds you to the other person as you talk and your marriage sooner or later begins to suffer. You give more attention to your friend to the detriment of your spouse and emotional affair begins on that note.

I don't have any male friend I meet one on one. Facebook has bastardized friendship. Everyone you meet on facebook is a friend. You have no choice than call then your friend since Zuckerberge says so. But not everyone can be your friend. That they send you friend request does not mean they are your friend. So be careful before jumping at people.

I'm very sensitive to words. I think about every phrase, line, clause and sentence. I'm quick to spot when something is wrong and quickly step back. Some men often get angry or mad when they discover I've been able to dissect what they are thinking and react angrily, whatever, I do not want any affectionate display from anyone except my husband.

A married person should never tell the opposite sex they miss them. One man told me he missed me. He is a highly respectable man of God with committed, dedicated followers and from tne depth of my heart, I respect him. It is no doubt he is anointed and his messages are filled with power! Nevertheless, his telling me he missed me online striked a point, it was emotional, deep, personal and a kind of affectionate. It struck a cord! That statement came from an attraction. I replied as politely as I could, tried my best to be plain and candid and moved back from that person. He is not an online close friend but he is a ball of emotional fire! I do not want to get burnt.

I can't count so many expressions some friends think are safe and accepted in friendship but are not. I can't count the number of "friends" who got attracted, carried away and slowly changed the tone of friendship.

It's okay to talk to the opposite sex. It's okay to have casual friends but when it is getting deep, intimate and you are using the word "my friend" all the time, something is wrong. It's time to move back and gain your sanity. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2017