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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Is This Love Or Bondage? (1691 Views)
Is This Love Or Lust :: / I Feel Like I'm In A Bondage Emotionally / Love Or Bondage? (2) (3) (4)
Is This Love Or Bondage? by Megvikky: 9:51am On Jan 23, 2007 |
My guy monitors evry move i make n even evry step i take.he wants 2 be aware of evrywhere i go to,my lecture timetable,my wkend schedule,wen am due 4 my period,my friends,my txt messages,being conscious of evrytin i wear out.infact am tired probably i shud just back out but d luv is there.pls just talk 2 me |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by niyooo(m): 11:51am On Jan 23, 2007 |
Hey which guy are u talking about? The widow u want to marry or who? |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by uchetobi(f): 12:02pm On Jan 23, 2007 |
(Am in love wit a man 18yrs older dan i am,he wants 2 marry me but he has 3 kids n d wife is late.Am just 22,if u were in my shoes what will u do?please Nairaland users talk 2 me) Yeah pls o clarify. |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by jaybaby(f): 12:25pm On Jan 23, 2007 |
Ohhh Boi no b small tin ---i'm jus seein this thread---- 18yrs older with 3 kids hmmmmmmmm |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by Megvikky: 12:50pm On Jan 23, 2007 |
Yea its d same widower dat wants 2 marry me |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by jaybaby(f): 1:52pm On Jan 23, 2007 |
Yepa |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by toyboy1(m): 5:51pm On Jan 23, 2007 |
thats serious then get him to trust u, cos if the trust isnt there u cant make a good home. trust cant be forced nor demanded harshly, just make he earns ur trust by being more opened to him if u truely love him sha. uchetobi: are u serious being 22 n gettin entangled wit a 40 yr old man whose first kid might be almost 18 u had better weigh wat u r abt gettin into thru n thru before u make the leap. do u get well with his kids n all dat |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by fellow(m): 6:07pm On Jan 23, 2007 |
Megvikky:Are you out of your mind?? Why would you want to marry a widower with 3 kids? That one hell of a decision when you have single guys all over the place. Prove it to me you are not after his money afterall what would he give you that a single 20 something yeah old man won't? Think deeply baby girl and act like someone who's matured. aight |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by jaybaby(f): 6:33pm On Jan 23, 2007 |
Lol Who is not after MONEY in marriage? |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by boladonas(m): 6:38pm On Jan 23, 2007 |
Megvikky, There is nothing wrong marrying a widower. But his monitoring u is pure BONDAGE Warn him and if he doesnt agree to ur opinion Scaram and leave him enough guys for Nairaland |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by fellow(m): 6:40pm On Jan 23, 2007 |
jaybaby:I guess your boyfriend must be having a pretty tough time in your relationship. GOD knows if you have not even milked him dry. |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by Megvikky: 6:45pm On Jan 23, 2007 |
Fellow nairalanders am grateful 4 ur replies but u must know am not after his money,his kids r 14 11 and 8.infact he wants my folks 2 all my educational bills 2 him,he's man enough 4 me but d age difference is my greatest worry |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by Seun(m): 6:49pm On Jan 23, 2007 |
His controlling nature is what you initially complained about, so the age difference is not your greatest worry. If you marry him, make sure you embezzle a lot of his money because you won't enjoy the marriage at all. Cheers. |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by jaybaby(f): 7:16pm On Jan 23, 2007 |
Abegi U people shld stop diz Beating Around d BUSh stuff---If there's no money in MARRIAGE--how will U n'joy it? |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by boladonas(m): 7:20pm On Jan 23, 2007 |
@ seun na wah o y counsel d girl wrongly? age really has no much effect esp if the guy is older as in this case u remember zik's case? he married a small girl like some 40 yrs difference and they enjoyed the marriage @megvikky just pray that he lives long or else the children and family will say u killed him wahala don burst be dat |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by Megvikky: 7:43pm On Jan 23, 2007 |
Wateva d case maybe nairalanders kip praying 4 me |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by Megvikky: 7:43pm On Jan 23, 2007 |
Wateva d case maybe nairalanders kip praying 4 me |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by Seun(m): 12:09am On Jan 24, 2007 |
Her problem initially was not the age gap but the way he tries to control her, which is unhealthy. |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by Busta(f): 12:50am On Jan 24, 2007 |
Pure Bondage and more importantly. . STUPIDITY!! |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by uchetobi(f): 10:15am On Jan 24, 2007 |
I wonder why you want to get stuck up with a control freak. A widower with kids is no big deal. Age is nothing but a number (1.e if you can handle people thinking he is your arist0, that you are a gold digger, him looking aged when you are in your thirties, most probably being a widow at an early age). So get him to understand that his over possessiveness is getting to you then you guys can sort yourselves out and work something out. Cheers. Good luck |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by Ndipe(m): 10:34am On Jan 24, 2007 |
Cut loose the guy who has been monitoring you like a hawk. Control sometimes could be a stepping stone to physical abuse. @2nd girl, there is nothing wrong in dating a widower, but first, you might have to ask yourself, how did his wife die, how does his kids relate to you? Are you sure that you are prepared for a readymade family? And lastly, what happens in future your hubby passes away, how will the property be divided? Have a serious discussion with this guy friend of yours before taking the next leap. If you are approaching the relationship with caution, then, go with your instinct and sever the relationship. Problems are more likely to escalate in a ready made family than a family where there are no kids yet. |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by niyooo(m): 10:58am On Jan 24, 2007 |
@ Meg, Methinks it all boils down to the age difference. The man will have a complex of "since she's this much younger than me, she might be seeing someone her own age hence all the monitoring." I really don't advise you to allow him foot all your bills if your folks can and i feel the monitoring may reduce after marriage. Anyway i wish you the best though i think u should consider some other factors, do u get along well with his kids? Also does he give u the respect u deserve? He's already made and may therefore not appreciate u like a guy that you built things together might. Anyway just consider all these factors and the ones posted by others b4 u make ur decision 'cos at the end of the day u are responsible for whatever decision u make and u'll live with it everyday of ur life, |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by whiteNkem(f): 2:03pm On Jan 24, 2007 |
He wouldn't be so much on ur case if he trusted you!! Don't you think that's an issue? Again, someone above asked how do you get along with his kids? That is very important! Cuz for the future, he may leave you, but he'll never leave his children. The money is not really an issue. If he has it, very well. He even SHOULD , at his age. How mature is he? What do you really want from life? Have u gone over the partying stage, going to the mall with friends or just watching a crazy movie over pizza? Cuz u will def have none of that after marriage. Are you ready to suddenly become mother of 3 kids by the age of 22? Does he still want to have kids with you (in case you also wish that)? How do your parents feel about him? There are so many questions that you have to answer to yourself. Maybe it'll help if you simply make a list of faults and advantages. See which turns out to be longer Good luck! |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by LaShawn: 10:44am On Nov 21, 2011 |
Yay! Bringing up old thread to break the boring monotony. @OP You're in bondage. Don't worry. When he starts beating you, use his money to clean your tears! Mu ha ha ha! |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by Nobody: 10:50am On Nov 21, 2011 |
Megvikky: What exactly should we pray for? pls make the right choice and if you decide to marry your daddy make sure he is actually rich not average. |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by itiswell1(m): 6:31pm On Nov 21, 2011 |
I'm short of words. |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by dabrake(m): 8:04pm On Nov 21, 2011 |
@op, kick his f'u'c'k'i'n'g arse off ur life jooh. Yep, all men have fragile ego but his own depicts immaturity and insecurity. Is he indirectly calling you a cheap s'l'u't? There are real men outside that will appreciate you well. Your 'boyfriend' isn't man enough. |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by freecocoa(f): 8:16pm On Nov 21, 2011 |
Come op if you need prayers I'll direct you to a prayer house oe ehen,iya witch is even here to help you unravel it,just kneel down. |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by Idowuogbo(f): 9:00pm On Nov 21, 2011 |
CocoA were u wan direct poster its after 4yrs una wan begin dey prescribe, poster go don get belle join to d mans family.Its pretty obvious she aint living him she likes older menn and she will carry on worshipping d guys arseee, she has no say wotsoever in d union. |
Re: Is This Love Or Bondage? by freecocoa(f): 9:10pm On Nov 21, 2011 |
^ Abi o,paddy me,who wan direct her kwanu?my own na make e just be say I type something. |
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