A LETTER TO YOU FROM SATAN

I saw you yesterday as you began your daily chores. You woke up without kneeling to pray….you just jumped out of bed and started about. As a matter of fact, you didn't even bless your meals, neither did you at any time within the day remember the existence of your so called God. Good for you. And you didn’t even pray before going to bed last night. You are so unthankful, and that’s what I so like about you. I cannot tell you how glad I am that you have not changed your ways…, keep it up my dear… you are mine, body, soul and spirit. Remember, you and I are like husband and wife you know…we’ve been going steady for years now, yet I still don't love you, I don’t dig you that’s why am gonna destroy you. As a matter of fact, I hate you, because I hate God. He kicked me out of heaven, and I'm going to kick you about and use you for as long as I want. I call it pay back.
You see, dummy, GOD LOVES YOU and HE has great plans for you….but those plans wont materialize. Know why? Because I wont let you give him the chance to make them work. You yielded your life to me, and I'm going to make your life a living hell even though I may permit you to have some change in your pocket and the occasional meal on your table. That way, we'll be together twice….here on earth….and in that place God, in his infinite wisdom has decided to call hell. That’s our final bus stop, dear…there, we will disembark, and stay put. Forget all the gory tales they tell about that place, gnashing of teeth and all…long before we get there, I’d have pulled off all your teeth so there wont be anything to gnash once we are in there. Trust me that will really hurt God….and boy, will I gloat?

Thanks to you, I'm showing Him who the boss really is…at least in your life, what with all of the good times we've had. We’ve watched dirty movies together, cursed people, stole, lied, committed fornication, back stabbed people, skipped church…SURELY you don't want to give all this up…do you? Its called La Dolce Farniente…the life of sweet indulgence. Come on, Fool, enjoyed together, let's burn together forever too.

This is just a letter of appreciation from me to you. I'd like to say 'THANKS' for letting me use you for most of your foolish, miserable life. You are so gullible, I laugh at you. When you are tempted to sin, you give in. When you see a girl with all her body out in skimpy clothes, you go gaga. When you see a man with so much money, all you start thinking is to seduce him….damn, you make me sick. Sin has since taken its toll on your life anyway. Soon you will be of no use to me. You look 10 years older anyway, and now, I need new blood. So go ahead and teach some children how to sin….you don’t need to put up a sign, they are looking at you anyway. All you have to do is smoke, get drunk, cheat, gamble, gossip, fornicate, and live being as selfish as possible. Do all of this in the presence of children and they will do it too. Kids are like that.

Well, Fool, I have to let you go for now. I'll be back in a couple of seconds to tempt you again. If you were smart-and we both know you are not- you would run somewhere, confess your sins, and live for that God you profess so much, yet rever so little. It's not in my nature to warn anyone, but for you, I will make the exception….you are too dumb to even take heed anyway. To be your age and still sinning; it's outright ridiculous.

Don't get me wrong, I still hate you and because I know you love me and cherish all our binges and trysts together, I know you won’t share this letter. Please don’t. Don’t let anyone see this okay? Am still at my address if you want to see me: 666, LUCIFER AVENUE, OFF SINNERS BOULEVARD, HADES.

Am outta here!

@Nezan: Hope you don't mind.

PART TWO OF "A LETTER FROM SATAN"

Hi there again,

I need you to know something in addition to the above. I DO NOT CARE if you have 100 Billion Dollars, 50 mansions and 72 Virgins at your disposal. It makes no difference if you call yourself Christian, Atheist, Muslim or Bingo. It does not matter to me if you go to church more often than the signboard points to it or if you hit your head against the wailing wall of Jerusalem 600 times daily.

I too like Church and religious places. I absolutely am divinely happy inside any type of worship center since we all serve the same god- OURSELVES. I enjoy watching you young guys checking out the girls and you women looking at who brought the big car. I will even show you the ones you had not noticed. I am happy to give you great jobs and careers, pleased to see you send your children to the best schools and eating the best foods till they're unhealthy.

The better educated you are, the more I like it. It helps me use you as an expert witness when I need such. And if you're not educated at all, all the better. It makes it easier to convince you to do contrary things. Need I say I love poverty too, both of flesh and spirit. I like empty religion and endless postures of self-righteousness. I am happy to help you hate your enemies and kill them if you wish. We could also make them so poor, you'll be able to oppress them. In effect, I want anything you want. As long as it is you that matters. You and you only. Because you are my god (for now ). And don't worry about warnings of heaven. We can work our own way there ourselves. I used to live there, remember? And when I left in anger, I created a backdoor way to the best part that God doesn't know about so we'll get in.

But one thing I do not want - Do not, I repeat, NOT accept Jesus as Salvation. You can accept him as a prophet, a carpenter, a fraud, a gangster, an illusion or any other term your rich imagination can bring up. But not as the bridge of salvation. that is the ONLY THING I hate. Avoid that and we'll be fast friends and together we'll reign in our own part of heaven. And don't listen to them. They can call it whatever they want but what we call the place is what matters since it will be our own home, not theirs. I love me you

Signed,

your best pal and indulgent father

Satan