montezz:
Me: Hello ma
Mummy: Pele omo mi
Me: ekaale ma
Mummy: kaale omo mi....omo owa...omo ekun...omo this and that. Pele. Bawo ni? Awon aburo e n KO? Awon ore e nko? Awon lecturers e ati family won nko? Awon ara adugbo e n ko?
Me:fine ma(rolls eyeballs)
Mum: Kilo se e? Se o ti loogun. Wale KO wa ri baba Habib KO ko oogun fun e o
Me:mo wa alright ma
Mum: pele oko mi. A kuku da fun ehn...ooni shirin...Olorun a ma so e. Aye e o ni baje. Ooni gbeegun eleegun.
Cuts in
Me: amin ma
Mum: maa wa careful o. Something happened yesterday at a friend's cousin's brother-inlaw's younger sister's area. They used one girl for money ritual. Joo ma KO ore Kore o. Aye ti le Gan o
Me:yes ma
Mum:Pele dear. Shey KO si too fi npe lale yii? Woo iya mulika ati egbon daddy wa sibi lana won beere e. Won ni ka maa ki e.
Me: OK ma
Me: mummy I called to ask you about...............(your credit has been exhausted and your call terminated).

Me: flash mum

Ring ring...
Me: Hello daddy
Mum: emi ni o. Ki lo fe so leekan yen?
Me: ehm ehm

Lwkmd

phranq:

When I was a kid, one day I went to market with my mum and D next tin she told me was "nnah remind me to buy dat ua cane for u". D tin still weak me till today

1. When she says “Get my kini” and believes with all confidence that she gave birth to a mind reader

2. When you say “mommy, I’m Sorry” and she replies “Sorry for yourself”

3. When you ask her where you should drop something and she says : “drop it on my head now.”

4. When she brings food wrapped in a nylon bag from a party.

5. When you say: “mummy, I have malaria” and she replied: “why wont you have malaria when you have been pressing phone since morning”

6. When you say: “I came 2nd in my class” and she replies: “soo the person that came first has two heads, abi?”

7. When she takes the DSTV remote to work, just to punish you.

8. When you’re watching TV with her and then she sleeps off and still doesn’t want you to change the channel

9. If when you tell her you are going to friends place and she be like: when last did they come here to play with you?

10. When your mum asks you if the food is enough and you reply no and she says go and drink water

11. When she tells you if I hear ‘Peem or phim’, you will hear ‘ween’.

12. When she touches hot pot comfortably without a napkin

13. When with one look she tells you, you will get the beating of your life when you get home

14. When you say: my wedding will be baaaaaaaaaaad and she replies: God forbid. Your wedding will not be bad in Jesus name

15. When she tells you: ‘I didn’t kill my mother, so you cannot or will not kill me’

16. When she calls you from your room upstairs and then sends you back upstairs to bring her purse…

17. When you ask her to help you with your home work and she advised: go and meet your brother. You then say, so you don’t even know it and she replies: (it is your father’s family members that are dullards)

18. When you ask her to refund the money you lend her and she tells you “all the food you’ve been eating at home nko?”

19. If she is more accurate with her slippers than Robin Hood is, with arrows.

I can relate to everything here. It happened to me live, when I was growing up! Naija mums are a unique species. May God continue to bless and protect them forever....