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Stats: 1,928,859 members, 3,973,067 topics. Date: Saturday, 16 December 2017 at 05:58 PM
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by glowshine(f): 8:53pm On May 06|
Wayward pikin!! I'm hailing u. Lol, keep it coming!
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by waywardpikin(m): 9:53pm On May 06|
Dedicated to glowshine
I sat at my table staring at my phone with a slight frown on my face. I had been calling Nife but she wasn't picking. I was at Mami market with my room mates, and we'd occupied one full table. Biggie, a tall chubby dude sat at the head of the table like the Don Corleone of our unholy association, with two girls on either side of him. I'd been to my favorite joint at Mami market almost every night and each time I went there I saw him with different girls, drinking and smoking. Unofficially, the dude was my role model. The waitress came around, rubbing my shoulders seductively as she asked what I would be having. They all knew me at Mami market, supposedly because I was a big spender. Once these girls identify you as a 'money bag', they become extra friendly for tips and are willing to hook up with you after camp for night 'vigil' if you catch my drift. I had only just gotten there so I ordered for a cold bottle of Orijin, momentarily distracted by the waitress's big boobs. I watched hungrily as she catwalked away, and willed myself to focus on the matter at hand.
Where was Nife na? I wondered angrily. Why wasn't she picking my calls?
I had already given her three missed calls so I refrained from calling her any further. Even the message I'd sent her on WhatsApp, she failed to reply. I decided to take my mind off it and just enjoy myself. Looking around, it felt like I was in the committee of dragons, everyone was smoking up, the air cloudy and hazy as people hugged their cancer sticks for dear life. Even the ladies were not left out. This was the worst place for someone like me to be, as I had stopped smoking for over a year now, presumably for good. I breathed in hungrily, the familiar smell of nicotine flooding my lungs. I had been resisting the urge to smoke in camp for a while now, but the way I was feeling, coupled with the fact that most of the guys around me were involved in this vice, convinced me to join in. I requested for a stick from the pack that was with Teejay, arguably the lousiest and most jovial guy of us all. He happily handed one stick over and hailed me as I lit it, dragging on the cigarette as the poisonous fumes filled my lungs. I exhaled slowly, and it felt awesome. That was how I threw over one year of not smoking down the trash can. I was still feeling giddy from the MJ I'd chewed earlier, and combining it with the cigarette and the cold bottle of Orijin got me feeling on the right side of Cloud 9. Most of my roomies at the table were paired off with babes, while I sat there by myself, romancing the cold green bottle in front of me. Hajia was calling me again and I would have liked to invite her over but this really wasn't her scene. I knew she would regard me and all my cronies as evil people who were going to perish in the muslim version of hell. I didn't intend to change her perception of me so I didn't pick. Besides, we spent most of the day together. Anywhere I went, she went. Anywhere you saw her, there I was too. But in the night time yours truly loved to fly solo in order to indulge my dark side. We all ended up pretty high and I soon forgot about Nife, having a very good time, laughing hysterically at jokes, and occasionally flirting with a certain female I caught staring at me. In summary, it was an interesting uneventful night. The irony.
I was almost 10pm when I got to the hostel and saw guys and girls gathered in front playing Ramsey Nouah and Genevieve Nnaji, and I started missing Nife again, wishing I could use a koboko to flog all of them standing there for reminding me of my pain. I got to my room and went to the bathroom to shower, ignoring the sound of some dude vomiting his guts out in the toilet. Wasn't my business, as long as he remembered to flush. I got to my bed and was preparing to sleep, ignoring the noise of my drunk and hyperactive roomies all around me. Just then, my phone beeped. It was a WhatsApp message from Nife.
'Hey dear,' Her message read. My heart fluttered when I saw it was her and I replied almost immediately.
'Don't hey dear me. Are you just seeing my messages and missed calls?'
'I'm so sorry I was tied up.'
'Tied up with what?' I demanded to know.
Lol? What the hell was funny?
'Diaris God o... Only God knows the unfortunate guy that is taking you away from me.'
'Don't worry dear. We'll see tomorrow okay?'
'If you say so,' I replied.
'I say so.'
We bid each other good night and I lay on my bed with my eyes wide open, feeling less confident than I'd ever felt in a long time.
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|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by pixzy(m): 11:00pm On May 06|
glowshine:U are the boss wayward poking.abeg keep it coming
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by MirthOsas: 7:59pm On May 07|
Been following the thread closely.. you're good Bro, your writing skill is excellent that one can imagine everything as it's written.. nice one boss.. I beg continue oo
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by Robynwelo1(f): 9:46pm On May 07|
Awesome! I love your punchlines especially, your sense of humour is astounding. Keep it coming.
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by Chamladas: 10:02am On May 08|
Don't forget to mention why you called your bunkie Maintenance.
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by youngforever22: 11:40pm On May 08|
Waywardpikin you've gone into the wilderness enough... Its time to come back home and finish the story
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by Sailee(m): 11:45pm On May 08|
[b][/b] u don make me join Nland by force because of it stori abeg kip it rolling...I hv many questions .......Bros
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by afexmoney: 12:52pm On May 09|
This is a nice Write up, I must say...Kudos bro... You turn me to NL addict, check here every time to see if you have updated...Make sense ehn
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by waywardpikin(m): 12:59am On May 10|
pixzy:More to come shortly!
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by waywardpikin(m): 1:01am On May 10|
Will do. Thanks for joining!
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by waywardpikin(m): 1:01am On May 10|
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by waywardpikin(m): 1:02am On May 10|
Will do that now. Didn't forget.
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by waywardpikin(m): 1:03am On May 10|
Hehehe... your comment got me laughing. Daddy's home bro
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by waywardpikin(m): 1:09am On May 10|
Are you the one in this pix? You look cool bro. Ask me anything.
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by waywardpikin(m): 1:11am On May 10|
Thanks boss. These are real life accounts.
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by waywardpikin(m): 1:12am On May 10|
I'm of the opinion that sleep is sweetest from 4am-6am. The exact period that life sometimes demand for most of us to wake up.
So it was with tears in my eyes that I woke up the following morning. I was always the last person to get up from bed, myself and one guy named Ramsey (named so after Ramsey Nouah, for his good looks). I noticed Ramsey because we both stayed on the top bunk, and any time I woke up I'd observe him fiddling through his things like he was looking for something, but I noticed that he wasn't really doing anything - more like biding his time. Long after I was conscious I would still remain in bed with my eyes closed, aware of everybody else preparing to leave the hostel, cursing both the sound of the bugle and the person speaking on the PA system.
I would eventually get up and prepare in record time to join everybody else. But in my mind, this had to stop. I had to come up with a plan to start skipping these morning drills, for my own sanity at least. I took another route to join the others at the parade ground because the soldiers were strategically positioned at the entrance of the hostel, punishing those who were joining the rest of the group late. I could see them from afar being made to frog jump, and I just felt more weary of the whole NYSC process.
As I joined up with my platoon, Nife immediately came to mind and I started scanning the area but saw no sign of her. I was a bit disappointed, the thought of seeing her always got me so excited. But at the same time I was beginning to feel this slight trepidation at my over excitement. I was half-awake/half-dozing throughout the morning drill, and the fact that I did it while standing was an even more impressive feat. After the exercises, we were split into groups for lectures. My group was made to sit on the ground as NDLEA officials came around to enlighten us on the dangers of drug abuse. Wetin consign me na? Perfect opportunity to sleep. The pot-bellied official spoke passionately on the dangers of substance abuse. He said he knew of someone who smoked MJ which drove him insane, and that his family members had been searching for a cure for him since then. I woke up for a few seconds to eye the man angrily.
'Why was he talking anyhow about my darling MJ na? Why was he lying?' I thought to myself. Anyway sha, that wasn't going to make me quit my relationship with her. If I like make I run mad. But I knew MJ would never do that to me. We love each other way too much.
After the whole thing I got back to my hostel room to see Maintenance lying comfortably on his bed with all the confidence of a Lagos landlord. I was the first person to get to the room, which made me wonder how he got there.
'Maintenance, you no go morning drill?'
'Omo I talk say make I sleep jare. I followed those muslims then branched into the hostel,' he said.
'If sojo catch you nko?'
'Ehn if sojo stop me I go show am my ID card na,' he retorted, flashing an ID card hanging around his neck proudly.
At the start of camp they announced the need for representatives from each platoon for categories such as; debate, health, welfare, education, food & nutrition, maintenance and socials. Unsurprisingly, most people wanted to represent their platoon in the socials category, especially the ladies. The people representing in each of the categories mentioned are more like prefects, as Maintenance soon showed to me. He elected to be the Maintenance representative for his platoon, since it was a role that most people resented. The duties of those in Maintenance included checking round all the rooms in the hostels and reporting any incidence such as a flooded toilet, a creaking fan, or a burnt-out bulb. Somehow, my bunkie ended up having a lot of clout and influence in camp. He could enter in and out of anywhere within the premises, including the girls hostel. And if anyone dared to stop him, all he had to do was flash his 'badge' at them like an FBI agent and say 'Maintenance', and they would free him with much reverence. The tin be like say na jazz. That was how he got his name. Till today, none of us remember his real name.
I frowned as he told me this, angry at the fact that he had all these powers and special abilities, yet our fan was not working. Every morning I woke up drenched in sweat as my bunk was directly under the only working bulb in the room and somehow, the lights were almost always on, causing me undue discomfort. He laughed and told me he was working on it, that I should trust him, after all his name is Maintenance.
He was working on it till the day we left camp...
As I was talking with him, I saw someone else materialise from under a bed at the far end of the room. It was Ramsey, fine, light skinned, tall & muscular. My mouth hung open in shock.
'Ramsey, you sef no go morning drill? How you take dey do am?' I asked desperately.
He laughed heartily and said 'Don't worry, I have my ways.'
Is that the answer to the question I asked?
'Don't worry, I will soon have my ways too.'
Afternoon drill came and I saw my sweetheart Nife. I asked her where she was in the morning and she said she was in the hostel.
'What? You too? How do you do it?' I desperately asked.
She looked at me and smiled, 'I have my ways.'
'You have your ways abi? You have started joining bad gang.'
'Go jor,' she said, tapping my shoulder and smiling shyly.
We spent most of that afternoon learning the marching drills, and assigned to our platoon was this terrifying hulking man. He must have been about 7 feet tall, shoulders so broad he probably has to fit through a doorway sideways, with a face black like death. Needless to say, he terrified the sh!t out of all of us. After the torturous experience which was subtly becoming a routine to most of us, Nife and I agreed to hang out that night. Unfortunately, it was dejavu all over again - I was at Mami market with a frown on my face staring at my phone, I'd given her a few missed calls but she wasn't picking; I'd sent her messages on whatsapp but she never replied, and I was being hailed by Teejay for smoking for a second night in a row.
Hanging out with my roomies every night was becoming a ritual. They were mostly kids from Private Universities, with a pinch of guys from federal and state universities. So our table was always full to the brim, because before you buy something, someone else is offering to buy, and another is vouching for the next round after that. I was on my fourth bottle of Orijin and feeling sufficiently stoned, when I suddenly had this urge to go for a walk. I told my guys that I was coming back and I began to take a leisurely stroll, enjoying the cool evening breeze. I was lost in thought as usual, thinking about my life as I always do, when something just ahead caught my eyes.
I saw Nife walking with this other dude from our platoon with his hand across her shoulders.
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by Maleeq01(m): 6:46am On May 10|
Ghost mode deactivated....... Nice write up ogbeni wayward
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by chalondk(m): 9:17am On May 10|
Ah.. You don enta... Beta obi mbawa!! I sumhw knew she ws def wif Sum1 else na y she dey sly u... More off dis @op
I am deff enjoying ur piece. From a 2017 batch a pcm
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by RoyalSleek(m): 9:57am On May 10|
Waywardpikin shey you no fine ni?
Keep it coming. I'm still following.
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by Mcindey(m): 10:59am On May 10|
Thumbs up bro, make a book out of this man
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by waywardpikin(m): 4:30pm On May 10|
Safedavid, you got me good . I guess my efforts at being ghostmode didn't pan out. Not exactly disappointed in the lack of gist (okay maybe I am a little ), but you can check out my real life NYSC misadventures here, if you have the time.
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by waywardpikin(m): 4:31pm On May 10|
That's a great idea Makinde . I'll take that into consideration.
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by waywardpikin(m): 4:32pm On May 10|
What do you think?
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by waywardpikin(m): 4:33pm On May 10|
Life is just a pot of beans, innit?
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by waywardpikin(m): 4:34pm On May 10|
Thank you Mr Maleek Berry
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by SafeDavid(m): 4:38pm On May 10|
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by Maleeq01(m): 5:12pm On May 10|
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by Ceekaycee(m): 11:24pm On May 10|
keep it coming
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by echobazz: 11:31pm On May 10|
More updates please!!!!!
|Re: Nysc Chronicles Of A Wayward Lagos Corper - The Search For The One by smadav(m): 9:22am On May 11|
well done sir keep it coming. pls sir I wana ask hw do I join any of the watsap platforms for prospective corp members. again as a football fan is there a way one can watch EPL games in camp.
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