dreamwords:
That lady is cheating in you

BabaCommander:



Poor people are always hungry and angry. I understand you are frustrated.
One thing you need to understand though, is that it's not your fault that you were born poor, but it's not your fault to remain poor.
Fortunately, you can change your conditions by changing your attitude. Channel your anger into a MORE productive activity.

Longcucumber:
thank God we still have nigerians with complete brain set nice brain set you gat there.to the op for your own sake this is the only advise that you need to consider.

BuariCopyPaste:


Go back and reread the post.

I asked her to leave the child behind so as not to give visitors the impression that my wife and son are nowhere to be found after marriage.
I actually knew she's in her mother's house but I needed her to explain what kept her long.

BuariCopyPaste:
Lalasticlala ........ Please I need wider view so as to gather ideas

Apollux:

Sorry to disagree with u sir. What u just suggested is not a solution. How long will he continue to play the full and apologize to the wife when is the one wrong?
I'd suggest that the op takes his time out to really investigate this issue. Something else is involved here and he needs to find out before taking a decision.
If the marriage wont work, it will not no matter the amount of apologies he tender. Well I think he should involve his family, present the matter to them and see their response.

Fifthcolumnist:
If your story is complete and true then your wife is entirely to blame. Although, I think fuming at her to save face was unnecessary and poorly managed. You know women are proud beings and hate being attacked even when they are wrong.

But, you can't risk loosing your marriage for the sake of pride and "saving face". Infact, if your marriage breaks down after just one week together, you'll have no face at all how much more one to save. You have to loosen up, swallow your high standards, and play the fool for the sake of your marriage before things get out of hand. Apologise to her and her family telling them, the stress of the whole event got to you and you're sorry you managed the situation poorly. Do this in the interest of peace and forget about rightness or wrong. After all, it's your marriage to keep, not theirs' or anyone else's.

46arcadez:


Did u monitor the traditional wedding preparation or have some have someone on ground to make sure everything is in place?

Did u give them detailed information on how u want the event ground to be decorated?

Did she call u while she was still in her parent house to tell u what was delaying her?

Did u call her also to ask what was keeping her?

U must not marry ur baby mama but how were you people living before the traditional marriage? I mean were u people living in peace and harmony? if yes I will advise u to calm down and talk sense into her. But for her and her families to say that they are not interested in the union again, I advise u to hold onto the little boy, forget the past cuz they have another richer guy that has promised to marry her.
I guess their family is not all that rich

Werehkpe:


Its not about who is to blame here. its about saving a young marriage.

I dont think apologising to her family is the solution. Once you do this. U are likely to encounter similar situation in future. So fight the battle well from the beginning. U can apologize to her alone and not her family. Once she returns home. U guys should have a long friendly chat. Its both of you that will build your family and not her family and you. For all u know it might be her family making her act the way she did and so apologising to them is giving them the upper hand.

Kosy79:
It's obvious u are stupid no doubts.

BuariCopyPaste:


You may not be far from the truth on your first paragraph .....

But the second... lol

baibrown:
Horrible woman to leave from Tuesday to Friday with no explanation. I'm sure you hurt her feelings very well but to leave for 3 nights you must not accept or you lose all power forever. Keep the child until she begs you to forgive her but don't forget to apologize first for hurting her on her wedding day.

Philpham:
Don't come to naira land looking for advice because all boys giving u advice here are neither in a relationship, or are not even married. And remember there are 2 sides of a story. As you have said yours which sounds very superficial, and I don't believe you are saying the whole truth, am sure there is something you must have done for this woman to disregard you and want to leave you potentially, so be honest here.

Marriage is very important and you need to reason with your head not your ego. If you were ready for this marriage in the first place you should have been responsible enough not to impregnate a girl before marrying her, you erred in that aspect, now you are a baby daddy and a baby daddy has no respect in the eyes of any family. If you divorce her then you become a single father and it will be hard for you to raise that child alone without a woman. If you even marry another woman, you run the risk of that child being abused by the second wife, and the child will grow up hating you for life.

Listen children will always gravitate to their mother and not towards their father, he will blame you when he grows up for chasing her mother away and may even kill you one day out of anger.
You are the head of this family, you need to grow up and man up. Stop acting like a child. Just because she came back late doesn't give u any right to shout at her, hence her leaving the house and causing you public shame. She may not like you that much either. So if you value your happiness you need to act like a leader, play it down , humble yourself , apologise and have a real heart to heart discussion with her, communication is the key.
Women can be very easy to please if you tell them what they want to hear.
If you let ego come in your way, believe me she will go and marry another man soon, am sure there is someone that satisfies her that much. So put you acts together and prove to her that you are the one.

catlova2:


u mean ur fada is dead or that ur moda was raped. Which 1 of those make u a bastard?

Vikky014:


Your name is Saul not Paul. please don't bother to reply.

BuariCopyPaste:



No sings really....We have actually lived for two years before officially getting married

BuariCopyPaste:

That was awesomely put..... thanks

NotOfThis:
OP, it seems she and her family weren't interested in the marriage from the get-go.

BuariCopyPaste:
Dear members...i am of the type that says NO to bringing marital shortcomings to the social media but I just realized why others do so.
I formerly got married on Tuesday 18th April but we are already headed for a bitter divorce.

To cut the story short, the whole issue started at the ground of our traditional marriage(Igba Nkwu).
On arriving her dad's compound, I was stunned to realize her mother didn't make the provisions of which I paid her for.
The DJ wasn't on ground, the canopies were just 3 and looking dirty, the chairs were not up to half of what i paid for. There was no light, no microphone, no decorations, the few food cooked were not served to guest and I was devastated.
Out of anger and dissappointment, I started lashing out at my wife and she broke down in tears begging me for forgiveness.
We managed to forge ahead till the the ceremony ended and we headed for my house.
As our tradition demands, the newly married bride sees off her Aso ebis and return in the evening same day to welcome visitors. But alas, my wife went and never came back till Friday evening.

I queried her on her whereabout only for her reply in a harsh manner saying "where do you expect me to be", don't make me angry"
God!! I couldn't believe it as it made me more mad in anger so I asked her to return to wherever she's coming from and leave our son behind(yes we already a year and 10 months old son). I actually made this decision to save face else how do I clarify the absence of my wife and son to visitors and well-wishers trooping in to see them?
She hurriedly dashed into the room and picked her phone and stormed out of the house. Now her mother is accussing me of taking her daughter's son from her and stripping her of her belongings.

Now my wife is saying she's no longer interested in the marriage likewise her people(her father is late). I am still fuming with anger that I am at loss of what to do. I am not prepared to raise my son alone neither do I want him to be raised by her mother alone.

Should I initiate a peace move and apologize to her or should I move on with life.....I am seriously confused and fuming with anger that I was shortchanged and offended and still expected to offer apologies.

BuariCopyPaste:
Dear members...i am of the type that says NO to bringing marital shortcomings to the social media but I just realized why others do so.
I formerly got married on Tuesday 18th April but we are already headed for a bitter divorce.

To cut the story short, the whole issue started at the ground of our traditional marriage(Igba Nkwu).
On arriving her dad's compound, I was stunned to realize her mother didn't make the provisions of which I paid her for.
The DJ wasn't on ground, the canopies were just 3 and looking dirty, the chairs were not up to half of what i paid for. There was no light, no microphone, no decorations, the few food cooked were not served to guest and I was devastated.
Out of anger and dissappointment, I started lashing out at my wife and she broke down in tears begging me for forgiveness.
We managed to forge ahead till the the ceremony ended and we headed for my house.
As our tradition demands, the newly married bride sees off her Aso ebis and return in the evening same day to welcome visitors. But alas, my wife went and never came back till Friday evening.

I queried her on her whereabout only for her reply in a harsh manner saying "where do you expect me to be", don't make me angry"
God!! I couldn't believe it as it made me more mad in anger so I asked her to return to wherever she's coming from and leave our son behind(yes we already a year and 10 months old son). I actually made this decision to save face else how do I clarify the absence of my wife and son to visitors and well-wishers trooping in to see them?
She hurriedly dashed into the room and picked her phone and stormed out of the house. Now her mother is accussing me of taking her daughter's son from her and stripping her of her belongings.

Now my wife is saying she's no longer interested in the marriage likewise her people(her father is late). I am still fuming with anger that I am at loss of what to do. I am not prepared to raise my son alone neither do I want him to be raised by her mother alone.

Should I initiate a peace move and apologize to her or should I move on with life.....I am seriously confused and fuming with anger that I was shortchanged and offended and still expected to offer apologies.

Werehkpe:


Its not about who is to blame here. its about saving a young marriage.

I dont think apologising to her family is the solution. Once you do this. U are likely to encounter similar situation in future. So fight the battle well from the beginning. U can apologize to her alone and not her family. Once she returns home. U guys should have a long friendly chat. Its both of you that will build your family and not her family and you. For all u know it might be her family making her act the way she did and so apologising to them is giving them the upper hand.

BabaCommander:


You have a couple of things in common with the op: pathological anger born outta low self esteem.

You can hook up with him.....he can atleast afford to feed you with eba and buy a better footwear than that herdsmen rubber shoe you are putting on.

BuariCopyPaste:
Dear members...i am of the type that says NO to bringing marital shortcomings to the social media but I just realized why others do so.
I formerly got married on Tuesday 18th April but we are already headed for a bitter divorce.

To cut the story short, the whole issue started at the ground of our traditional marriage(Igba Nkwu).
On arriving her dad's compound, I was stunned to realize her mother didn't make the provisions of which I paid her for.
The DJ wasn't on ground, the canopies were just 3 and looking dirty, the chairs were not up to half of what i paid for. There was no light, no microphone, no decorations, the few food cooked were not served to guest and I was devastated.
Out of anger and dissappointment, I started lashing out at my wife and she broke down in tears begging me for forgiveness.
We managed to forge ahead till the the ceremony ended and we headed for my house.
As our tradition demands, the newly married bride sees off her Aso ebis and return in the evening same day to welcome visitors. But alas, my wife went and never came back till Friday evening.

I queried her on her whereabout only for her reply in a harsh manner saying "where do you expect me to be", don't make me angry"
God!! I couldn't believe it as it made me more mad in anger so I asked her to return to wherever she's coming from and leave our son behind(yes we already a year and 10 months old son). I actually made this decision to save face else how do I clarify the absence of my wife and son to visitors and well-wishers trooping in to see them?
She hurriedly dashed into the room and picked her phone and stormed out of the house. Now her mother is accussing me of taking her daughter's son from her and stripping her of her belongings.

Now my wife is saying she's no longer interested in the marriage likewise her people(her father is late). I am still fuming with anger that I am at loss of what to do. I am not prepared to raise my son alone neither do I want him to be raised by her mother alone.

Should I initiate a peace move and apologize to her or should I move on with life.....I am seriously confused and fuming with anger that I was shortchanged and offended and still expected to offer apologies.

Kosy79:
Lol! U really went through my profile Well u are a nobody so i got no time to run through an irrelevant like you.

About those shoes trust me i can feed u and ur entire family with the price.

Poor forming rich guy i wonder where ur miserable self and wretched family hid when the forbes were counting the richest people lol i guess the poverty canopy helped.

Don't quote me again cos i tried by giving u 2minutes fame just go and enjoy the fame before it flare down.

limamintruth:


It's true they are suppose to have fully familiarize themselves & adapted to each other's personal traits at this point.

However, there's still nothing bad in requesting a partner to do away with a bad trait.

They both have every right to be angry with each other's behaviour as a couple. But they need to learn how to always reach a compromise after any disagreement between them. These issues do happen in marriage a lot. What matters is how the spouses handle their misunderstandings with love & wisdom.

So @Op needs to work things out with his wife please.