SmellingAnus:
Marriage favours men the most you said? I guess that's why we have more men that are desperate to get married while the women are relaxed....

maybe

You didn't tell us how marriage favour men the most?

if u don't mind ,follow my post well

funmisticqueen:
I have a friend, we were talking yesterday about boyfriends aand she said she has some doubts about hers, he drinks although he doesnt get drunk, she was mad when she heard he drank 15 bottles of beer the other day although he wasnt drunk, just a little tipsy. She has recently found out that he smokes occasionally when she thought he quit before they met. These two love each other, even i can see that. She also has concerns that he doesn't have money, he was just starting a business around the time he met her and the business hasn't really picked up, but he is the type that if he has N1000 and she says she's broke, he will give her N500. She has concerns, her mum has been to four prophets who told her that he may not have money now but later will be better and their marriage will be peacful. So my question is should she marry this guy or start seeing other suitors? she told him that she isnt ready to marry but will be ready in 2 years when she would have finished service, she's 24 by the way. We just thought we should throw it open to get advice

This is how she digs her grave.
I may be wrong about his drinking attitude
I hate guys that drink excessively ,maybe she doesn't

BoosBae:
If a lady isn't ready to be a slave, a prostitute to her husband and play the fool to a lot of things, then she isn't ready to stay married in this country.

Just pray for an understanding man, not the one with the typical Nigerian husband mentality and marriage won't be much of a burden to you.

Op I agree with you to an extent, I understand where you are coming from.

thanks sis .
We relate at least .
Not surprised the men will bash it around but that's the truth .

This is not a battle of male and female !
Marriage favours both and as much as we have divorce cases not all marriages end in tears ...

Your advice should be to know each other first , , see if both of you are compatible before deciding . and do not rush ...

The ones who marry early to have lives
No marriage is perfect.

am not disputing whether its favourable to both or not .
I said it favours men most.
In Nigeria, women are at the receiving end of men's excesses .

Cleopatra4:
Thought I was the only... Op the pressure on us getting married is inevitable. Especially from our parent. I just want a happy life. Marriage doesn't guarantee happiness. Most times I get scared of it when I see what happens in most marriages. Speaking from experience.

Don't give them the chance . Put down ur foot and let them know ur stand .
Try being independent, the pressure will reduce

RaggedyAnn:



I absolutely agree with you, women need to own themselves (know who they are independent of the union, what they want, and pursue their dreams). Like you say: no man can give you meaning, and it is unfair to put such pressure on any person.

Nice one.

thanks

ayokellany:


What are you saying men definitely are the biggest beneficiary so do you want to impose your own norm of making woman the biggest beneficiary on the society ? If you reason deep enough you'd understand that is why the society also have men foot the bills in a union. Provide accommodation security etc. It is a leverage (norm) at balancing itself (selflessness of the woman) for the good of the society. In today society woman are allowed more room to determine their role/future in relationship so don't just whine blame all your problem on the society, it is not perfect but fair. There are several escape route for female who do not want to be in a relationship for whatever reason this day.

You advocacy of men to bear the burden of the trauma or pain of their decision to break up unfavourable union is what I have a problem with. If you can not bear the heat ma'am simply leave the kitchen and endure the trauma n pains that comes with such decision. I think this is fair enough to both parties because men are simply able to cover their own pain/trauma and move on. Your advocacy should be geared towards such orientation in my opinion instead of blaming the society/men for norm century old.

please who said we don't work and pay the bills as well?
In most families, women are the major breadwinners but they keep quiet to preserve the dignity of the man .
Thanks

Nobody: Wife cleans....... provides sex for her man

Rubbish!

That's the social contract I keep referring to if you check some of my previous posts .

Wife cleans , takes care of kids , provides sex for her man : man provides housing , food and security . How tenable this model is for modern society is up for debate .

But pray give us a few clues as to what happened to your friend ?

Why was she forced to marry this fellow ?

Please don't mention sex. It's provided by both. When you begin to think that way, then don't blame the man when he sleeps outside. Sex is not provided by the woman,it's by the both couple.