Good evening NLs,

I need your help (esp the guys), how do you know if your guy is serious? What should I look/ watch out for?

Grateful for your help.

Thanks.

@Poster I am very interested to know also, may I stay around and watch?

@Madlady, u re welcome to stay. Hope the gentlemen (and experienced ladies) here will enlighten us.

Lmao,

Let me also stay and watch so i could always start pretending i am

Lol @ Dammy Ray. One can only pretend for some time. The truth cannot be hidden forever u know.

Dammy_ray:

Lmao,

Let me also stay and watch so i could always start pretending i am

There really is now way to know because different people behave in different ways. Some guy are overly nice and it will turn out down the road that they were nice because they wanted or needed something and some are jerks and end up being really nice. What is important is trying to get your partner to open up about past relationships and how they handle relationship issues that way you will know his cues and behaviors. example i once dated a girl who told me that she breaks up when she stops kissing. Like if you want to give her a kiss she tries to avoid you and junk. When she started that with me i already knew what was up so i packed up and was out. I made her open up that way i knew what to look out for.
Also that is not always full proof because people do change but you will see signs of change if someone really cares and is willing to compromise



whew too much sorry  

@Omega

But I understand that there are lines of discussion, topics that guys would want to have with people they want to spend the rest of their lives with, Is this just a myth or fact?

its a fact. when a guy is ready to settle down you will know because he wont ask too much about your past relationships (might spoil his thought of you) and he will do things that are selfless. He probably will be the first one to mention settling down. see the thing is we men can smell desperation on women. you might meet that woman who you know is out for a husband and the first thing she will ask you is how many kids do you want in life. I may be out for a wife but i dont even know you yet, dont ask me such questions get to know the fun me before you know the serious me. The serious me is known when you have "the conversation"
Thats when you lay out your cards like eventually hopping for marriage and thinking of where you would like to be down the line, like telling home boy that you wanted to wait till marriage before you shag, like finding out the little things that has nothing to do with money and how big his D#$k is which would automatically put you in a certain category

Different Guy has different ways of showing their seriously, but not necessarily spending his cash on the boo. but most boos thinks a guy who spends much cash on them is the serious Guy.

Thanks Omega u've been helpful.

By stats if there are 295 users online at the moment, we expect at least 49 to be guys. Let's assume 50% are gentlemen, why are they not responding?

Please respond, we'll appreciate your opinion!

Freiburger:

Different Guy has different ways of showing their seriously, but not necessarily spending his cash on the boo. but most boos thinks a guy who spends much cash on them is the serious Guy.

i mean seriousness.

Oohh, this is one of the questions which is very difficult to be answered. If was so easy, we all would have less problems. No matter whether man or woman. Unfortunately, we people aren't in the situation to be seen in the heart or the thoughts of the other. There are men and also women, they can lie blue from the sky down to you without becoming red. They are perfect actors.

However, in general I advise you to answer the following questions for yourself:
1. Does he keep his promises?
2. Does he treat you with respect?
3. How does he behave towards you in the presence of his friends?
4. How is his reputation with others?
5. Does he not put you under pressure? (concerning intimacy)
6. Does your opinion interest him?
7. Does he take interest in your worries? (if you have which)
8. has he lied to you already once?
9. tries he to change you?

But as said, there is no patent prescription.

^^

all thoes one's na long story


see the best way to know a guy really loves u is when he decides to take you to his family
even if you are in 100level,no matter how lovely a guy is,if he decides not to take you to see his family
his mom,sisters,father,brothers etc etc then you are just a part-time chick

thats the firm truth coming from a firm gentleman


and what in the heck is ☻ajali☺(poster above) what kind of ID is that~
Are u some sort of ANTI-CHRIST OR WHAT

@OP You just never know men 2 many decievers . . .

190:

^^

all thoes one's na long story


see the best way to know a guy really loves u is when he decides to take you to his family
even if you are in 100level,no matter how lovely a guy is,if he decides not to take you to see his family
his mom,sisters,father,brothers etc etc then you are just a part-time chick

thats the firm truth coming from a firm gentleman


and what in the heck is ☻ajali☺(poster above) what kind of ID is that~
Are u some sort of ANTI-CHRIST OR WHAT

From which do you derive that I am an Anti Christ?
Because of black smily?
Absurdly!

However, to your reassurance I will clear you up.

My husband is black and I am white = therefore black smily, white smily

ajali = means earth, red earth in igbo

Can you accept this, or must I change my ID?

@poster
as all the previous posters said, its all down to individulas. he could be open minded, shy, living abroad or in 9ja etc and they would all have different ways of showing you.

here are a few things that you should remember:
- being introduced to his family especially parents is a good sign. also being invited to all his family dinners such as xmas/family bdays etc
- if he ask you to move in with him or at least gave you the keys to his pad then i guess you guys are going somewhere.
- if the person is considerate of your feelings in this relationship, therefore asking you before venturing into something new/different, that also could be a great sign
- making serious long term plans(not just talking about it) is also a way to see that this person is serious about you guys.
- spend all his free time with you and brings you along when he has to go out with the boys.

the next one are just for 9ja living people:
- if he is not afraid to show his affection in public place. . . . we all know how 9ja people are shying away from holding hand or even kiss in public.
- if he introduces you to office workers/boss etc. no 9ja man would introduce you to his boss if you were not THE ONE

also you have to remember that just because someone is serious with you, doesnt mean that everything is nice and lovely. many guys might have their MAIN squeeze (top toto) and then they have the girls on the side. they feel very strongly about the main toto but that doesnt mean that they wouldnt cheat on them. so you have to be more specific about what you are asking.
its the big difference between being INVOLVED and being COMMITTED to a relationship.

Some of the guys here have hit the nail on the head.
A Nigerian man that is not serious will never introduce you to his family especially his mother.
That is the greatest clue.
If a man takes you to see his uncles, aunts and cousins in the area where he lives and asks you take a trip to see his mom if she lives in another town.
He is dead serious.
And if you guys live abroad,if he calls his mom on the phone and asks you to speak with her,she's already told them about you
You are the one.
I'm talking from experience.
Especially amongst Igbos
No Igbo man would present any woman to his mother if she's not the one

But please whatever you do,never ever ask him to take you to see his mother or ask to speak with her
It should be his idea not yours.

Men are dubious, some can ask one mama gee to act as his mother! So beware!

Obinoscopy:

Men are dubious, some can ask one mama gee to act as his mother! So beware!

A Nigerian man that is not serious will never introduce you to his family especially his mother.
That is the greatest clue.

Interesting, my younger sister was introduced to his family (including his mom), unfortunately she wasnt his main squeeze!!! Derkhead  

0hsisi:

Some of the guys here have hit the nail on the head.
A Nigerian man that is not serious will never introduce you to his family especially his mother.
That is the greatest clue.
If a man takes you to see his uncles, aunts and cousins in the area where he lives and asks you take a trip to see his mom if she lives in another town.
He is dead serious.
And if you guys live abroad,if he calls his mom on the phone and asks you to speak with her,she's already told them about you
You are the one.
I'm talking from experience.
Especially amongst Igbos
No Igbo man would present any woman to his mother if she's not the one

But please whatever you do,never ever ask him to take you to see his mother or ask to speak with her
It should be his idea not yours.

gbam

119% correct

You guys have given very enlightening answers.

Obinoscopy:

Men are dubious, some can ask one mama gee to act as his mother! So beware!

To what gain really?why would a man "rent a mama"?
what for?

jusSaying:


Interesting, my younger sister was introduced to his family (including his mom), unfortunately she wasnt his main squeeze!!! Derkhead 

I'm pretty sure she was the one at the time but some other girl worked harder and double crossed her.
That happens

before the "I do" any eligible bachelor is fair game

@Ohsisi

Youre probably right. I just hope nobody double crosses me when the time comes

jusSaying:

@Ohsisi

Youre probably right. I just hope nobody double crosses me when the time comes

Amen!
I left a fiance I'd been engaged to and married another man so I know how that can happen.
Anything can happen before one gets to that altar

Wumami:

Lol @ Dammy Ray. One can only pretend for some time. The truth cannot be hidden forever u know.

Maybe i would have accomplished my mission by then, Lol

Wumami:
@Omega

But I understand that there are lines of discussion, topics that guys would want to have with people they want to spend the rest of their lives with, Is this just a myth or fact?

a myth

0hsisi:



I left a fiance I'd been engaged to and married another man so I know how that can happen.
Anything can happen before one gets to that altar

wow congrats!
Nonsense

madlady:


@Poster I am very interested to know also, may I stay around and watch?

Madlady!
Are you truly mad¿

first thread i've seen in a while where commenters are actually making sense

I wasn't the one that asked the question but i would say Av gained a lot from it as a lady too...thanks nairalanders