The op said women should not bother if their husband is faithful or not, just tell him sternly to play safe, toks2008, you are cursed. A woman should not be bothered about her husband cheating? What happened to the vows of faithfulness they took when getting married? You think it doesn't hurt a woman when a man cheats? It hurts a woman same way it hurts a man when his wife cheats, that's a very calous and sensless statement to make. No wonder you are not married at almost 45. Keep looking for a moronic lady without feelings and self worth to marry.

Hopefully toks2008 settles with a zombie for wife.tufiakwa.

Misogynistic chauvinist.

Toks2008:


Do you know why I let comments like this slide? it's because it's unfortunate that naira land has no age sections where a specified age limit are only allowed to interact else how on earth will a child like you be commenting on marital matter?

Many boys and girls who make irrational comments here could be my kids if I had a lady pregnant in my late teens or even early 20s.

For the records please don't make comments on my threads until you have attained that level of maturity where your brain can decode my deep messages.

This is why I am very careful making friends with any lady below 27 cos most of them still have baby mindset...

Too bad I had to mingle with toddlers on nairaland.

We will be discussing marital issues and babies who don't even know what romance is will be making the loudest noise.Iranu

oh please! is that the card you want to deal. Dont, because two can play the game. Old Papi!

[quote author=Toks2008 post=57652004]

For the records,i have great passion for writing regardless and 95% of wht i post on nairaland are lifted from the archives of my facebook posts and that was done when i was still enjoying the best of my marital union
Attached are just 2 images of some of my write ups way way back in 2013 when i was still enjoying my affair to the fullest just to show you how Stwpid you are for making such comment.
This particular thread was written way back in 2014

Am glad my post pained you enough for you to start insulting yourself and your generation.
So you wrote that crap when you were married? No wonder your marriage didn't last long after that.

Toks2008:


Ok now i guess its time i beg Seun to declaree 3 days fasting and prayers for some nairaland ladies because this has gotten to a level we can no longer ignore..

Like seriously! why are our ladies this super d*umb? you realy dont have an idea of my persona cos if you do i guess you will be ashamed for posting this pooh.

For the records,i have great passion for writing regardless and 95% of wht i post on nairaland are lifted from the archives of my facebook posts and that was done when i was still enjoying the best of my marital union.

I honestly pity some guys that will marry some Nigeria ladies because many of them are brain D*ead.

If you like take advantage of my articles and be a better lady or ignore,its your choice.

Attached are just 2 images of some of my write ups way way back in 2013 when i was still enjoying my affair to the fullest just to show you how Stwpid you are for making such comment.

This particular thread was written way back in 2014.

Toks with all due respect, you're a Man and a Mature one at that. You don't have to reply to every mention. if that's how you retaliate to every insults offline, then I'm speechless.

Though, you may find some comments out of place and be tempted to reply, but really, it's not worth it.
Don't be surprised that most of the females you're trading words with are far below you especially in age.

This thread is yours, and you have made your point, it's left for the reader to agree or disagree, they are entitled to their opening.

But trading words with them, is below my expectations of you, I believe you're far mature and better than that.

I agree most of the commenters jump into conclusion without knowing your true story. Just waka pass and leave them to their imagination.

I pray you get married soonest, so all this ladies go get something else to talk about
pls. STOP.

Have a Nice Day.

a woman builds a home, protects it's and acts as a pillar of support and the destruction of it..... check your bible

in all of what the Op has said the only way in preventing stories that touch is TO BE HUMBLE

Omotayor123:
You should change your Topic to "Thirteen Awkward Things That Married Couple Do"

Don't stereotype by putting the Blame on Women Alone. Men needs to abide by those things too.
Your points are Very Okay but they should be both ways.

It's the duty & Responsibility of both partner to make the marriage work.

Yes u are right. But if d man is repulsive n d woman pays back with whatever negativity, d negative consequence is dat a party bears more of d pain in all ramifications than d other. N dat party is d WOMAN;'let a man n a woman wee while they walk, sure only one of them would have more water log on HER legs n feet"
I drop my pen

TheUmbra:

Addressing a married individual properly may not offer complete proof for marriage but it's a good start and a gesture that honours the marriage institution.

I think your moral elasticity has finally gave to the continuous barrage of a world fastly on decay. How convenient for you to put material gains over sound moral principles.

It speaks well of your priorities - material acquisition first even at the expense of the sanctity of matrimony.

No need to be sanctimonious.
If you seriously think what will bring honor to your marriage is for your wife/husband to be addressed as Mrs/Mr Somebody , then you are probably living in your own delusions.
Its alright though, because i believe thats probably a coping mechanism for some people like you.
You do remind me of the saying about an ostrich burying its head into the sand while its whole body is exposed. In its tiny brain, it actually feels its not in danger because it can't see the danger.
Calling someone Mr or Mrs Somebody has never stopped whoever wants to cheat from cheating. It doesn't even offer any protection against being toasted.
You're the one bringing materialism into this as I never mentioned anything about such.
People cheat for different reasons, spouses of rich men/women also cheat so its not about material gains.
Calling someone by their Mr/Mrs title means nothing, its just eye service in my opinion if you honestly think that would stop anyone from having affairs or being tempted to have affairs in the workplace.
Even some people called Daddy GOs have affairs with fellow Mummies. Of course while in public, they always call each other Mummy and Daddy in the World. Of course we know they use correct terms of endearment when they get frisky in the privacy of their booked rooms.

EVILFOREST:
.
My Simple Advice....is
"If a LADY is not ready to respect a man no matter how stupid that man may be, then that lady is not ready for marriage".
....because sometimes some men can be repulsive, but it takes a lady whose higher centres are mouthwatering to take absolute control and restore normalcy.

Your daughters may respect stupidity. Not mine!

Toks2008:


The day you ladies start reading my threads without sentiments is the day you will start seing the true message.

You can as well create a thread pointing to the men too.

Once you get married, your status changes and by right your name so that respect must come with it expecially in public.

Will Ambode's friends publicly call him Ambode to his face without putting Governor or your excellency?

So I should go about correcting my male colleagues?? U are just a misogynist

NwaAmaikpe:


Some women are very dumb...

My friend broke up with his wife because she always shaves her pubic hair.

I supported him...why will she shave her pubic hair unless some other fellow is visiting the Holy Grail.

Am not surprised at your comments coz u know what? it wont be different from your other comments so far...its time u need to go examine your brain before its too late

Good point. But I don't agree with the maiden name and cheating stuff.
Why should my friends from way back be calling me Mrs.....
It is too formal.

eyinjuege:


No need to be sanctimonious.
If you seriously think what will bring honor to your marriage is for your wife/husband to be addressed as Mrs/Mr Somebody , then you are probably living in your own delusions.
Its alright though, because i believe thats probably a coping mechanism for some people like you.
You do remind me of the saying about an ostrich burying its head into the sand while its whole body is exposed. In its tiny brain, it actually feels its not in danger because it can't see the danger.
Calling someone Mr or Mrs Somebody has never stopped whoever wants to cheat from cheating. It doesn't even offer any protection against being toasted.
You're the one bringing materialism into this as I never mentioned anything about such.
People cheat for different reasons, spouses of rich men/women also cheat so its not about material gains.
Calling someone by their Mr/Mrs title means nothing, its just eye service in my opinion if you honestly think that would stop anyone from having affairs or being tempted to have affairs in the workplace.
Even some people called Daddy GOs have affairs with fellow Mummies. Of course while in public, they always call each other Mummy and Daddy in the World. Of course we know they use correct terms of endearment when they get frisky in the privacy of their booked rooms.

You spent precious minutes repeating yourself and reaffirming what I have stated here already.
I thought you had better points to put forward.

The statement below was from you:

"Who cares if you're married in the workplace? Just get your bl**dy work done effectively and don't draw the team back because of your incompetence or family life"

The marital status of any employee is important. It has a direct impact on his/her employer's expectations and demands towards such an individual. It also dictates what might be proper or improper in terms of conduct towards same.

You see why you're a principal corrosive agent to a healthy society? By that statement of yours you've put material gains above marital sanctity.

It's not about being sanctimonious, your little emotional blackmail is ineffective. You call truth by its name irrespective of the signs of the time -- by which you've been carried off to a fool's paradise.

Omotayor123:
You should change your Topic to "Thirteen Awkward Things That Married Couple Do"

Don't stereotype by putting the Blame on Women Alone. Men needs to abide by those things too.
Your points are Very Okay but they should be both ways.

It's the duty & Responsibility of both partner to make the marriage work.

your opinion is a good one but i know such comes from female. what goes around come around!

TheUmbra:


You spent precious minutes repeating yourself and reaffirming what I have stated here already.
I thought you had better points to put forward.

The statement below was from you:

"Who cares if you're married in the workplace? Just get your bl**dy work done effectively and don't draw the team back because of your incompetence or family life"

The marital status of any employee is important. It has a direct impact on his/her employer's expectations and demands towards such an individual. It also dictates what might be proper or improper in terms of conduct towards same.

You see why you're a principal corrosive agent to a healthy society? By that statement of yours you've put material gains above marital sanctity.

It's not about being sanctimonious, your little emotional blackmail is ineffective. You call truth by its name irrespective of the signs of the time -- by which you've been carried off to a fool's paradise.

You are rambling and incoherent.

Omotayor123:
You should change your Topic to "Thirteen Awkward Things That Married Couple Do"

Don't stereotype by putting the Blame on Women Alone. Men needs to abide by those things too.
Your points are Very Okay but they should be both ways.

It's the duty & Responsibility of both partner to make the marriage work.

Simple solution.

Copy the thread, change the title, change man to woman and woman to man and voila!!!


Its not by force that OP must do what is on your mind.

Omotayor123:

Toks with all due respect, you're a Man and a Mature one at that. You don't have to reply to every mention. if that's how you retaliate to every insults offline, then I'm speechless.

Though, you may find some comments out of place and be tempted to reply, but really, it's not worth it.
Don't be surprised that most of the females you're trading words with are far below you especially in age.

This thread is yours, and you have made your point, it's left for the reader to agree or disagree, they are entitled to their opening.

But trading words with them, is below my expectations of you, I believe you're far mature and better than that.

I agree most of the commenters jump into conclusion without knowing your true story. Just waka pass and leave them to their imagination.

I pray you get married soonest, so all this ladies go get something else to talk about
pls. STOP.

Have a Nice Day.

And for the first time ever I I'll tell you to seriously hush it.

It is quite easy for people to blab about keeping mum in the wake of insults but I guess when it goes beyond insults to an attack on my persona I guess I will only be foolish to keep mum without setting the tables straight.

Someone wrote that my threads are just venditive when I could prove how stwpd the person is.

Tell me you did not believe that my threads are venditive as she claimed and tell me you are not surprised that I wrote this thread way back in 2014 and many more in 2013 when I was still very much enjoying my marriage.

So spare me this hypocrisy of saying I respond to shits and your polite insults on me...this is a faceless forum but I'm not faceless because I'm a man of integrity so clearing the air is just needful.

I have written a thousand times that I'm not faceless and that us because I'm clean and have nothing to hide so please allow me to clear the air when necessary...at least the person I quoted now knows how dumb she was and how real I am.

Check all my responses and you will see that I'm very selective expecially the ones that needs some clarifications.

The fact that it is my thread makes it even more needful to respond to mentions and quotes that catches my fancy. Tayo please

PROVERBS 26:5
"Be sure to answer the foolish arguments of fools, or they will become wise in their own estimation"

Just that some fools are better ignored while I respond to the ones that tend to stain my image.

praise1705:
a woman builds a home, protects it's and acts as a pillar of support and the destruction of it..... check your bible

in all of what the Op has said the only way in preventing stories that touch is TO BE HUMBLE

Inasmuch as I do not expect everyone to agree with me,I'm persuaded to say I'm surprised some ladies are reasonable enough to see sense in my write up.

Toks2008:


The day you ladies start reading my threads without sentiments is the day you will start seing the true message.

You can as well create a thread pointing to the men too.

Once you get married, your status changes and by right your name so that respect must come with it expecially in public.

Will Ambode's friends publicly call him Ambode to his face without putting Governor or your excellency?

I disagree with this point. The fact that i am married doesn't change my name. So should i tell my family members and relatives to call me madam or Mrs. As long as calling me by my name doesn't interfere with my status as a married woman, it is fine.
Life is not that hard.

ImaIma1:


I disagree with this point. The fact that i am married doesn't change my name. So should i tell my family members and relatives to call me madam or Mrs. As long as calling me by my name doesn't interfere with my status as a married woman, it is fine.
Life is not that hard.

Do you people ever comprehend?

Toks2008:


Do you people ever comprehend?

The comprehension is not the problem. Our mindsets are different and what you see as an issue might not matter to me. It is ok to disagree

Toks2008:
We all know that men sometimes can be very overbearing and sometimes responsible for some actions their wives take but nevertheless,women must understand that marriage is a great,decent and sacred institution that must be treated with utmost respect and guided with all sense of decency.

To be frank,there are some silly things some married ladies do that do not show any form of respect to them,their men and their marriage.
These are things that need to be avoided by the lady irrespective of whatever excuse they may have.

I have had many friends who have been married and some are divorced and after discussing with them,i have come to realize that some of these women were infact the architect of their failed marriages and i will try to elucidate on some of the awkward things ladies do that break up their marriages.

1. Poor communication:

In every relationship we find ourselves,communication is vital. No one is a mind reader and no matter what it may be that could be a reason for your unhappiness,speak out immediately in a stern manner and not laikadaisically.
Many women are found of calling their hubby's relatives to complain about certain issues meanwhile the hubby at home does not have an idea of how hurting they are concerning that issue.

2. Sharing their marital issue with a male admirer/friend.

Not every guy you know is responsible. We have some low lives that has no regard for any form of decency and it is no news that many guys are in this category.
When you discuss your marital issues with an admirer or a male friend,most times what these guys hear is "im vulnurable,i need you as a succor". This is why most times,when a married woman take solace in a male friend,the end result is usually an illicit affair.

3. Being careless with male friends.

I have always maintained that there is nothing like just friends between a married woman and another man.
If he is not your childhood friend,co-worker,co-student,business partner then you have no business with him.
Many married ladies have a careless habit of keeping male friends indiscriminately and worst still get so careless allowing these guys call them by their maiden names.

I will never call a married lady by her maiden name because just as the name suggests,its her unmarried name but will rather put Mrs,sis,madam.

When a married lady is called by her maiden name,it diminishes as well as tarnishes her respect,image and matrimony giving room for a potential unethical relationship between her and the "just male friends".

4. Seeking vengeance.

Many married lady tend to take some actions in order to prove to their hubby that a sauce for the goose is also ok for the gander but unfortunately this will destroy your marriage more.

When you take a revenge on your hubby by sleeping with another man because he cheats on you,of what use will that be to you?

What value will that add to your life?
Learn to maintain your dignity no matter what because at the end,the shame will all come back to you and as I always reiterate. ..nobody can make you do what you are not capable of doing.

5. Talking down on your hubby.

This is one foolish mistake many ladies do. You and your hubby are one and talking down on him means talking down on yourself. It is one thing to voice out what he did and another to use outright abusive words on him.

In situations where a couple seperates,some ladies will not mind talking down on their hubby with a friend,their family and even with male suitors and i keep wondering if the woman thinks this will earn her any form of respect.

If you call your hubby a sick man then what does that make you? Or you call your hubby an asshole then it takes an asshole to tango with such a man.

No matter how angry you may be,don't ever rule out reconcilation and even if you are never going to reconcile,respect your matrimony with him even if he deserves no respect from you.

6.Moving out of their matrimonial home hastily over an avoidable reason.

What excuse do you have for running out of your marriage?
He cheated on you,he does not give you attention,he took you for granted,he curses you and many more are the excuses married ladies hold on to and i keep asking this one question;
Will leaving solve the problem? Even a divorce is not a way out because its a 50/50 chance that the next man won't be worse so i advice that you confront that problem and try your best to solve it.

7. Believing there is always a better man out there.

This is one foolish thing married ladies believe. That they will get a better replacement.There are more than enough never married ladies out there for the unmarried guys so you will do yourself a great honor by sticking to your husband.

There is really no better man out there and except you are faced with an unrepentant violent man,please remain in your marriage because you will soon realize that its the same cycle we all go through in any union we find ourselves and there will always be one reason to leave any man you are married to.

Many women divorcees realize this too late as they end up as a toy in the hands of randy men,as second wife,or end up single for a long time as many men will believe they are doing them a big favour by wanting to be with them.

If you must throw in the towel on your marriage,make sure you have exhausted all means of reconciliation because i keep saying that it is better to be single at 40 than to be a divorcee at 20 and a 40 year old single lady is more maritally appealing than a 20year old divorcee,funny but true so think very well before you run out of your marriage.

8.Sharing their marital issues with single female friends..

Like seriously! it may surprise you to know that most of your friends who are still single are not happy that you are married so take your marital problem to them at your own risk.

9.Not looking sexy enough.

If our sultry actress Omotola jalade is looking this sexy after three children then tell me why you can't look sexy too.

Laziness is one big problem with most married ladies.Men get carried away by what they see so do yourself a favour, get that big tummy down and get into crazy bum shorts and flaunt that thing.

We know you cant maintain that sexy look we saw the very first time we met you but at least try your best to look sexy for the next 30years for us after marriage.

10. Never sorry.

Many women are so proud,egocentric and sturbborn to the extent that when they do or say things that are conspicously wrong,they will never or hardly apologize but rather would want to buttress the rationale behind their actions and most men see this as an appalling nature. Be quick to apologize even when you are right..men are naturally egocentric hence the need to bring down your ego to avoid the case of two men married to each other.

11.Geting insecure and monitoring her husband

I have always advised married women to let their men be. Believe whatever he says even when it is clear that he is lieng.The moment you start getting overly jealous,suspicious is the moment you begin to lose your self worth. Don't bother whether he is faithful or not but sternly tell him to play safe if he must be unfaithful and warn him to do it far from you cos what the eyes do not see do not hurt. Yes this sounds crazy but trust me,it works like magic because the husband will likely be on his toes and respect you the more. Remember that a man will always be a man and you can never monitor him.

12.Not good enough in the kitchen and the other room: .

If you are a married lady reading this please don't ever joke with these two places because any woman who knows how to use these two places will most likely have her husband where she wants him cos the way to a man's heart is forever through his stomach and down there.

13.Taking the job of a full housewife.

As you can clearly deduce,being a full housewife is a big job because those who babysit get paid so I quite understand how demanding this can be but nevertheless,don't settle for that,no matter how demanding the task of keeping the home front can be, still do something to be financially independent. Your husband may tell you he does not want you to work promising to provide all your needs but we both know he really can't do that without asking funny questions from you when you demand for money so it is important to have something doing so that the financial pressure will be less on your husband and you can also be self reliant.Being financially independent can also come in handy if your hubby faces any financial crises so take this advise seriously because financial pressure is a great destroyer of marriage.

I don't know if these makes sense.

On point let those so called modern women be there deceiving themselves.
Most marriages fail because of these issues, our mothers are different from al this modern women and they did their best fr their marriage not to fail.
I keep saying it a marriage can only fail if the woman allows it.
In fact these days most times they create problems exaggerate the problem and allow it to escalate so they can leave the marriage on such minor excuses. They justify whatever reason that made them leave, play the victim card and the so called feminist will hail them.
If only they can learn one or two things from our mothers!

platodeen:


Yes u are right. But if d man is repulsive n d woman pays back with whatever negativity, d negative consequence is dat a party bears more of d pain in all ramifications than d other. N dat party is d WOMAN;'let a man n a woman wee while they walk, sure only one of them would have more water log on HER legs n feet"
I drop my pen

Word, only if they'll hear. They think they're doing the man not knowing they're doing themselves.

Toks2008:


Inasmuch as I do not expect everyone to agree with me,I'm persuaded to say I'm surprised some ladies are reasonable enough to see sense in my write up.

no matter what anyone says especially on a forum like this there would always be people who would agree or disagree with you, such is life

but wisdom is when such a person takes the message and not take it personal or ignore the messenger

praise1705:



no matter what anyone says especially on a forum like this there would always be people who would agree or disagree with you, such is life

but wisdom is when such a person takes the message and not take it personal or ignore the messenger

I have no issues with anyone diagreeing but I have a way of putting the dumb ones in their place.

I purposely make my personal life an open book because I have absolutely nothing to hide.

ImaIma1:


The comprehension is not the problem. Our mindsets are different and what you see as an issue might not matter to me. It is ok to disagree

He added a clause, there is an exception to family members, colleagues, old friends/school mates...etc.

I think his point is when a married woman keeps meeting new guys, claiming they're just friends and introducing herself in her maiden name _hence being addressed as such.

Toks2008:


I have no issues with anyone diagreeing but I have a way of putting the dumb ones in their place.

I purposely make my personal life an open book because I have absolutely nothing to hide.

good but don't you think leaving everything open makes one more vulnerable or people targeting a particular fault?
especially when you get something to protect not yourself personal but others under you who need protection

You are not a humble woman. When a man talk, a woman must listen.

The man says we should allow stupidity to reign in our lives because it has a penis

YelloweWest:

Your daughters may respect stupidity. Not mine!

Whether you wrote those BS since you were born ain't my business. What we know is that you hate women..

Toks2008:



And for the first time ever I I'll tell you to seriously hush it.

It is quite easy for people to blab about keeping mum in the wake of insults but I guess when it goes beyond insults to an attack on my persona I guess I will only be foolish to keep mum without setting the tables straight.

Someone wrote that my threads are just venditive when I could prove how stwpd the person is.

Tell me you did not believe that my threads are venditive as she claimed and tell me you are not surprised that I wrote this thread way back in 2014 and many more in 2013 when I was still very much enjoying my marriage.

So spare me this hypocrisy of saying I respond to shits and your indirect insults on me...keep your respect OK. ..this is a faceless forum but I'm not faceless because I'm a man of integrity so clearing the air is just needful.

I have written a thousand times that I'm not faceless and that us because I'm clean and have nothing to hide so please allow me to clear the air when necessary...at least the person I quoted now knows how dumb she was and how real I am.

Check all my responses and you will see that I'm very selective expecially the ones that needs some clarifications.

The fact that it is my thread makes it even more needful to respond to mentions and quotes that catches my fancy. Tayo please

PROVERBS 26:5
"Be sure to answer the foolish arguments of fools, or they will become wise in their own estimation"

Just that some fools are better ignored while I respond to the ones that tend to stain my image.

chuksanambra:
Shoutout to the gullible ladies who are gonna take marital advice from the OP.

I hope y'all aware that the OP is a forty something year old single male unable to hold down a steady relationship and with a misogynistic outlook to life.

Don't let someone who isn't responsible enough to control one woman come and control your marriage. That would be the height of foolishness.

The BEST comment on this stupi.d thread really! Thumbs up!

For real