My pastor and his assistant went to the mountain 3weeks ago to pray and fast for the country.... they were supposed to comeback after a week.

In a week, only the assistant returned to our village carrying our pastor's bible and his clothes. The clothes were very kempt and he is putting on pastors shoes.But pastor was no where in sight.

When asked where big daddy is, he smile and waved to God responded with a shocking story. He said while they prayed on fifth day, A bright light suddenly came up and angels came out of it and took big daddy to heaven. He also said the pastor asked him to take over from where he stopped so that automatically makes him the new pastor.

I got suspicious and told my mother that I don't buy the story, and she hit me and asked my not to question the word of God. Even the DPO, church members and igwe of our community agree with the assistant's story and everyone is going on with life as if it's nothing.

Please tell me , am I being too skeptical, or did something fishy happen to our pastor?



























The above story is just like the story for the Bible between Elisha and Elijah. Please what do you think actually happened?
Is the Bible filled with so many lies? Why does the Bible contradict itself.

Are you still a Christian? If you are, then I think you are trying to wake up. It's the period of waking up.
The story about Elijah and Elisha in the bible is only an adulterated story of Elijah and Eliash in the periods of the Neanderthals. Most bible stories are actually adulterated version of things which happened millions of years back.

Here is the exact happening according to the DOCTUFOS OF TRUTH

DOCTUFOS: Tabioth 35:1-26

1. When it had been told Elijah, saying, Ab is dead, he arose and went to Jehu, saying, Jehu, have you not heard that Ab is dead? Now go and possess the whole land of Sumeria. 2. Go in your might, because you are a mighty homo. And you shall defeat the remnant of Ab. And Jezebaal also shall you defeat and all the forces with her. For she is it who destroyed many of the scribes of Yahweh. 3. Now when Jezebaal had heard of the death of Ab her husband, she declared, saying, O Rekem, arise and go forth against all the enemies of Ab who are in Sumeria. For they shall come suddenly upon me. 4. Then Rekem arose and sought after all the scribes of Yahweh. And all the soldiers which were followers of Yahweh. And Rekem pursued after Elijah until he had entered into a cave. 5. Now Rekem said, surround the cave which Elijah had entered. For he shall not escape this time. Then Rekem and all his hosts surrounded the cave which Elijah had hid himself. 6. Now when Elijah saw that he had no place, he said, the substance of smoke which I keep with me shall not do to help me escape this time, because they who seek after me are many. 7. So Elijah put off his robe and he was half-Unclad. And Elijah scraped the centre of his head such that he appeared bald. Now one of the homos of Rekem came in to Elijah and when he saw him, he thought to give out a shout. 8. But Elijah threw the sickle at him and it hung on his throat. And Elijah killed him and took his cloth. So did Elijah change his garment. 9. And he took the mantle of the dead homo and laid it upon himself for a covering. And his own garment and mantle did he lay upon his shoulder. 10. And Elijah saw how the sun came into the cave through an opening, therefore he set the glasses at the rays of the sun and placed his forehead beneath. 11. And there was great heat upon the forehead of Elijah such that it became black. And Elijah set the bare part of his head below the glasses and the rays of the sun from the glasses set upon his head and burnt it. 12. And he had the appearance of a bald homo. And Elijah set the homo of Rekem on fire and burnt him up. 13. Now Elijah came into the hands of the armies of Rekem and his appearance was like that of another. 14. Now when they had stopped him, saying, who are you? He said to them, I am Eliash, the son of Josafat, the king of Jew. 15. And they said, what is it that you have come here to do? And why do you carry the garment and the mantle of Elijah the Tishbite on your shoulder? Then he said, I fled from the battle when Ab and Josafat my father went after the homos of Syria. And I hid myself inside this cave(for it is the cave called Oreb where many homos hid themselves in the time of wars). 16. And when I had hid for a week, I said, let me return to my land, but when I would have departed, I saw Elijah the Tishbite, the enemy of your king. And he begged me, saying, let me hide in this cave, because Rekem the captain of the armies of Jezebaal has come after my life. 17. Then I killed Elijah and took off his cloth, which I lay upon my shoulder. And his mantle also have I taken. And of a truth, Elijah is burning in the fire which I have set upon him. 18. So the homos went and saw how he burnt. 19. And they were happy, knowing not that it was not Elijah who was burning. 20. And Rekem said, if we permit the ash of Elijah to remain in this cave, that shall be counted a death in honour for him. For it is also in the caves we bury our kings. 21. Therefore, let us set the burning body of him upon a chariot and let his ashes fall everywhere on the sands. For in the same manner which Rubab the son of Matok was killed when he spoke ill of Moloch in those days, so shall the body of Elijah be. 22. So they packed the remnant of the body of he whom they thought as Elijah into a chariot and when they had hit the horse with a rod, it fled. And the fire which it saw behind it in the chariot made the horse to flee even more. 23. For it fled in like manner as a fearful fowl which had got his feet entangled in some tentacles. 24. So did Jezebaal thought, saying, I have ended the life of Elijah the Tishbite, the terrorist of the land of Sumeria. Now shall I have rest of mind upon the land in my reign. 25. Now when the descendants of Ahijah the prophet of Toumim heard how Elijah was killed, they said among themselves, our brother is not dead. But the chariot had indeed taken him away to the heavens. 26. And this did they say until the days when Elijah himself came to visit them. And he told them, saying, I am Elijah, but now shall you call me so no more. For all who know me now call me Eliash, the son of Josafat, the king of Jew.

Please youre a christian you're not allowed to be skeptical do you want to go to hell, your brain is supposed to be squeaky clean from lack of usage.

Men, the plot twist at the end really got me

Why did your mother hit you for not believing a story? Religious indoctrination is abuse.

That assistant needs to be arrested.

Eléyìí tún Funny díẹ̀