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The Phone Prank That Earned Me The Worst Beating Of My Life - Romance - Nairaland

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The Phone Prank That Earned Me The Worst Beating Of My Life by lordweezy(m): 8:44am On Jul 01, 2017
My first phone was a Sagem; it was black, with a little antenna. My dad gave to me when I was in Junior Secondary School two. Before long, my phone status sky rocketed when he got me a Nokia phone; the first ever coloured screen Nokia phone then, and I was in high heavens. The phone was beautiful and I loved it. There was just one little problem – very little, which constantly pricked my bubble of happiness…
What caused me sleepless nights and great worry was that I didn’t have too many people calling me. Not too many of my school mates had phones. The few times my phone did ring, it was my Dad or mum calling to either check up on me or leave a message. This got me dissatisfied and I devised a means to get my phone to keep ringing. I wanted to be awoken by loud peels of my phone ringing, I wanted to spend hours talking on the phone and laughing with whoever called me.
What I did was to change the last digits of my dad’s number to another (from 73 to 74), then I kept flashing the number. I guess I got lucky one day, when my phone rang and I realized that it was ‘that’ number calling me back. It was a guy! Scared initially, I eventually decided to play along. This was my chance to make good use of my phone and I was not ready to lose it. So I pretended to be an adult, changed my intonation and we kept talking.
The guy was based in Calabar and he kept asking me when I would visit. He called everyday and he would call me sweet names immediately I picked his call.
“Baby, sweetheart, when are you visiting me in Calabar? I can’t wait to see you.” He would ask everytime he called and I would devise a lie to cover up my tracks.
I soon became an expert at talking on the phone. I would talk in a light-hearted manner, laughing and cracking jokes as I did. It even occurred to me that I deserved an award for the role I played so well.
He thought he had found his missing rib. After all, I was a grown-up single lady, wasn’t I?
It was all fun until I was caught.
It was my valedictory service in Junior class, the one that meant I was to become a ‘senior.’ My mother had taken me to the market and bought me some nice clothes, clothes which she imagined I would look beautiful in as I walked to the front of the hall to receive my prize for best student in whatever subject.
As we got to my school that day, my mum said “Ayo, give me your phone. Don’t take it to the hostel, let me hold it for you so that they don’t steal it.” I obeyed and handed my phone over. My school was a boarding school in Epe.
Valedictory day came and my name was never called once to receive any prize, not even C. R.K or Yoruba. I was still smiling because I didn’t see it as the end of life.
Getting back to the car after the ceremony ended, I noticed my mother was not smiling. A few minutes later, she sweetly asked me in a light voice “Who is Ifeanyi that calls you and says you are his baby?”
The fear of God came upon me. I had been found out. “What will I say?” I asked myself.
“The man is not serious. He called me mistakenly one day and since then he has been calling me. I told him that I’m a small girl, but he still keeps calling me.” I said in a rush trying to play smart . My mother nodded and kept quiet. I was elated that I had managed to outsmart my mother.
Some minutes later, my mum parked the car and looked for a place to get call card. She bought it, loaded it on my phone and placed a call, of course placing the phone on speaker.
“My love, baby, Who did you give your phone to? The person was acting uncivilized. She even refused to give the phone to you” I heard Ifeanyi say when he picked, and I knew I was dead!
“May I know why you are calling an underaged girl, calling her baby, saying sweet words, even asking her to visit you?” My mother began.
“Underage?”
“Yes! Underage. Please stay away from my daughter. I don’t want you to ever call her again.” My mother yelled into the phone.
“Useless woman. When you won’t train your children well. Ask your daughter if she wasn’t the one that started calling me first. How was I know to know she was underage?” The guy responded immediately and I wondered why he was so quick to attack my mother, if he was so unsuspecting of me.
“So I have been fooling only myself!” I thought to myself.
‘My love’ promptly ended the call after he lambasted my mother more.
All through the journey home, my mother would laugh out a little, shake her head and say “Emi uncivilized! Emi useless!”
I was not bold enough to look at her face; my only prayer was that God should intervene, but I guess he was busy with more interesting matters, because he left me to face my problems alone!
The beating I got that day can only be imagined; it did not help matters that my mum felt I did not receive any prize at school, because I had been carried away by boys and had lost focus.
I mean, how was I to explain to her and my father that I was only looking for fun? That I wasn’t interested in men then, or that I did it just because my phone never rang enough times?
I did not see that phone for a very long time after that and neither did I partake in the bucket of ice cream pops had cooling in the freezer waiting to celebrate his baby’s graduation.
My brothers did not help matters, either. Everytime I passed by them, they would look at one another and then say in a chorus “Baby! Sweetheart!” And they would burst out laughing as I ran to my room, hot tears running down my face…
So what earned you the ‘beating of your life?’ You know that beating that made you think you would soon join the saints in heaven? What did you do?

copied from a website for fun share your experience too

1 Like

Re: The Phone Prank That Earned Me The Worst Beating Of My Life by ebukahandsome(m): 8:54am On Jul 01, 2017
Naija mums eh!!! grin
Re: The Phone Prank That Earned Me The Worst Beating Of My Life by lordweezy(m): 8:56am On Jul 01, 2017
My dad was the stingy koko of the universe. This man would buy a crate of "minerals" for the house and tell us children to never ever touch it. Imagine you as a child, going to put 7up in the fridge for your dad to chill. He was that stingy, he never filled the fridge with drinks ahead. He always tells you to go chill it and an hour later, bring it out for him. He would tell you to open it, pour it in a glass for him and bye bye. Drinks were only meant for him and when we had special guests.
So with the help of my siblings and one naughty cousin like that, we devised a means of slightly opening the lid, draining out the drink into plastic cups and re filling with water. You can imagine how long this took. We didn't have ipads and tv then so we had a lot of time on our hands. We were clever enough to open lets say 2 our three out of a whole crate, and since the man never got up to go chill the drink himself, we knew which bottles we had tampered with, so we never put those ones in the fridge. Every time he bought crates, we would just keep swapping and swapping. Lord knows how long that went on, until monkey went to the market one day and didn't return. We had a new house help and Daddy told her to go chill drinks for him as he was expecting visitors. We weren't there when he gave the instruction, and the maid none the wiser, foolish girl just picked two bottles at random. Kai, i still remember that beating till today.
Let me continue.
Anyways, said visitor arrived. This is a man my father holds in high esteem. "Tolu, lo mu igo 7up yen ninu fridge fun Daddy michael, ko mu glass cup na wa ati opener". It wasn't even me that had the misfortune of running the errand. It was my sister. The second she "opened" the bottle, she knew we were basically dead. Unluckily for us, daddy and his guest were busy talking so they didn't notice that the drink had no fizz. My sister came to our room shaking. She said we are dead today. daddy is going to kill us. Modinat put our water 7up in the fridge. Omo come and see confusion. So we ran to the hallway, perambulating upandan like jobless folks, watching the guest, my brother and cousin were peeping from the window. If it was possible to will that glass cup and bottle to shatter, we would have. That's how Daddy Michael took a sip. He had a confused look on his face, took another sip and was looking at the cup like it was an alien construct. Then he'll look at my dad with a weird look on his face. My dad was busy grinning sheepishly, saying yes sir, yes sir. Otutu jai. I had told my maid to chill the 7up specially for you. The man said nothing. They continued talking. My father was even encouraging the man to finish his "drink" before it got warm, you know in this hot weather. By this time i was already shaking, my youngest sister had started crying. That visit was like the longest in my life.
Daddy Michael left now, with his half finished bottle of water and we thought, phew!!! we dodged that bullet. That is how my father called this same maid to come clear the table and bring his own 7up from the fridge. The speed that we ran to the kitchen to check if it was a tampered bottle. The devil had it in for us that day because what are the chances that both bottles were the ones we re-filled withw ater. We were begging Modinat to not take the bottle to him, to lie that she only put one bottle in the fridge. In all our panic, it didn't occur to us to get the second bottle out of the fridge and chill an un-tampered bottle. Modinat didn't understand what was going on and in her bid not to offend Oga especially as my father had started calling out for her in a loud voice asking what was taking so long. Modinat had no choice but to go up with the bottle. At this point, my 9 year old self considered running away.
We were too scared to go to the living room to watch his reaction when modinat opened the bottle and he tasted the water, but the loud booming voice that we heard very shortly after preceded the epic beating of our lives. Me the eldest and ring leader got triple portion. What pained him the most was the fact that we embarrassed him in front of Daddy Michael. We rubbished his image. He kept saying the man must think he is too poor to afford 7up and he served him water. We disgraced him and we will pay dearly for it There were no phones then, so he couldn't call his rich friend to apologise. From beating to punishment, haaa i can never forget. Till today, i look at 7up with so much disdain now, even when i see a billboard or an ad on tv, the memories of that beating come back and i shudder. My sister hasn't touched 7up or sprite since that day. It's forever ingrained in our memories.


also curled from the web

4 Likes

Re: The Phone Prank That Earned Me The Worst Beating Of My Life by maxti: 8:57am On Jul 01, 2017
Nice write up
Re: The Phone Prank That Earned Me The Worst Beating Of My Life by shege45: 9:10am On Jul 01, 2017
lordweezy:
My dad was the stingy koko of the universe. This man would buy a crate of "minerals" for the house and tell us children to never ever touch it. Imagine you as a child, going to put 7up in the fridge for your dad to chill. He was that stingy, he never filled the fridge with drinks ahead. He always tells you to go chill it and an hour later, bring it out for him. He would tell you to open it, pour it in a glass for him and bye bye. Drinks were only meant for him and when we had special guests.
So with the help of my siblings and one naughty cousin like that, we devised a means of slightly opening the lid, draining out the drink into plastic cups and re filling with water. You can imagine how long this took. We didn't have ipads and tv then so we had a lot of time on our hands. We were clever enough to open lets say 2 our three out of a whole crate, and since the man never got up to go chill the drink himself, we knew which bottles we had tampered with, so we never put those ones in the fridge. Every time he bought crates, we would just keep swapping and swapping. Lord knows how long that went on, until monkey went to the market one day and didn't return. We had a new house help and Daddy told her to go chill drinks for him as he was expecting visitors. We weren't there when he gave the instruction, and the maid none the wiser, foolish girl just picked two bottles at random. Kai, i still remember that beating till today.
Let me continue.
Anyways, said visitor arrived. This is a man my father holds in high esteem. "Tolu, lo mu igo 7up yen ninu fridge fun Daddy michael, ko mu glass cup na wa ati opener". It wasn't even me that had the misfortune of running the errand. It was my sister. The second she "opened" the bottle, she knew we were basically dead. Unluckily for us, daddy and his guest were busy talking so they didn't notice that the drink had no fizz. My sister came to our room shaking. She said we are dead today. daddy is going to kill us. Modinat put our water 7up in the fridge. Omo come and see confusion. So we ran to the hallway, perambulating upandan like jobless folks, watching the guest, my brother and cousin were peeping from the window. If it was possible to will that glass cup and bottle to shatter, we would have. That's how Daddy Michael took a sip. He had a confused look on his face, took another sip and was looking at the cup like it was an alien construct. Then he'll look at my dad with a weird look on his face. My dad was busy grinning sheepishly, saying yes sir, yes sir. Otutu jai. I had told my maid to chill the 7up specially for you. The man said nothing. They continued talking. My father was even encouraging the man to finish his "drink" before it got warm, you know in this hot weather. By this time i was already shaking, my youngest sister had started crying. That visit was like the longest in my life.
Daddy Michael left now, with his half finished bottle of water and we thought, phew!!! we dodged that bullet. That is how my father called this same maid to come clear the table and bring his own 7up from the fridge. The speed that we ran to the kitchen to check if it was a tampered bottle. The devil had it in for us that day because what are the chances that both bottles were the ones we re-filled withw ater. We were begging Modinat to not take the bottle to him, to lie that she only put one bottle in the fridge. In all our panic, it didn't occur to us to get the second bottle out of the fridge and chill an un-tampered bottle. Modinat didn't understand what was going on and in her bid not to offend Oga especially as my father had started calling out for her in a loud voice asking what was taking so long. Modinat had no choice but to go up with the bottle. At this point, my 9 year old self considered running away.
We were too scared to go to the living room to watch his reaction when modinat opened the bottle and he tasted the water, but the loud booming voice that we heard very shortly after preceded the epic beating of our lives. Me the eldest and ring leader got triple portion. What pained him the most was the fact that we embarrassed him in front of Daddy Michael. We rubbished his image. He kept saying the man must think he is too poor to afford 7up and he served him water. We disgraced him and we will pay dearly for it There were no phones then, so he couldn't call his rich friend to apologise. From beating to punishment, haaa i can never forget. Till today, i look at 7up with so much disdain now, even when i see a billboard or an ad on tv, the memories of that beating come back and i shudder. My sister hasn't touched 7up or sprite since that day. It's forever ingrained in our memories.


also curled from the web
this guy wan use lafg kill me

1 Like

Re: The Phone Prank That Earned Me The Worst Beating Of My Life by shege45: 9:11am On Jul 01, 2017
my mum heard me singing "sucking of woman breast in a song".after d beating, i fell ill.

1 Like

Re: The Phone Prank That Earned Me The Worst Beating Of My Life by Nobody: 9:20am On Jul 01, 2017
lordweezy:
My dad was the stingy koko of the universe. This man would buy a crate of "minerals" for the house and tell us children to never ever touch it. Imagine you as a child, going to put 7up in the fridge for your dad to chill. He was that stingy, he never filled the fridge with drinks ahead. He always tells you to go chill it and an hour later, bring it out for him. He would tell you to open it, pour it in a glass for him and bye bye. Drinks were only meant for him and when we had special guests.
So with the help of my siblings and one naughty cousin like that, we devised a means of slightly opening the lid, draining out the drink into plastic cups and re filling with water. You can imagine how long this took. We didn't have ipads and tv then so we had a lot of time on our hands. We were clever enough to open lets say 2 our three out of a whole crate, and since the man never got up to go chill the drink himself, we knew which bottles we had tampered with, so we never put those ones in the fridge. Every time he bought crates, we would just keep swapping and swapping. Lord knows how long that went on, until monkey went to the market one day and didn't return. We had a new house help and Daddy told her to go chill drinks for him as he was expecting visitors. We weren't there when he gave the instruction, and the maid none the wiser, foolish girl just picked two bottles at random. Kai, i still remember that beating till today.
Let me continue.
Anyways, said visitor arrived. This is a man my father holds in high esteem. "Tolu, lo mu igo 7up yen ninu fridge fun Daddy michael, ko mu glass cup na wa ati opener". It wasn't even me that had the misfortune of running the errand. It was my sister. The second she "opened" the bottle, she knew we were basically dead. Unluckily for us, daddy and his guest were busy talking so they didn't notice that the drink had no fizz. My sister came to our room shaking. She said we are dead today. daddy is going to kill us. Modinat put our water 7up in the fridge. Omo come and see confusion. So we ran to the hallway, perambulating upandan like jobless folks, watching the guest, my brother and cousin were peeping from the window. If it was possible to will that glass cup and bottle to shatter, we would have. That's how Daddy Michael took a sip. He had a confused look on his face, took another sip and was looking at the cup like it was an alien construct. Then he'll look at my dad with a weird look on his face. My dad was busy grinning sheepishly, saying yes sir, yes sir. Otutu jai. I had told my maid to chill the 7up specially for you. The man said nothing. They continued talking. My father was even encouraging the man to finish his "drink" before it got warm, you know in this hot weather. By this time i was already shaking, my youngest sister had started crying. That visit was like the longest in my life.
Daddy Michael left now, with his half finished bottle of water and we thought, phew!!! we dodged that bullet. That is how my father called this same maid to come clear the table and bring his own 7up from the fridge. The speed that we ran to the kitchen to check if it was a tampered bottle. The devil had it in for us that day because what are the chances that both bottles were the ones we re-filled withw ater. We were begging Modinat to not take the bottle to him, to lie that she only put one bottle in the fridge. In all our panic, it didn't occur to us to get the second bottle out of the fridge and chill an un-tampered bottle. Modinat didn't understand what was going on and in her bid not to offend Oga especially as my father had started calling out for her in a loud voice asking what was taking so long. Modinat had no choice but to go up with the bottle. At this point, my 9 year old self considered running away.
We were too scared to go to the living room to watch his reaction when modinat opened the bottle and he tasted the water, but the loud booming voice that we heard very shortly after preceded the epic beating of our lives. Me the eldest and ring leader got triple portion. What pained him the most was the fact that we embarrassed him in front of Daddy Michael. We rubbished his image. He kept saying the man must think he is too poor to afford 7up and he served him water. We disgraced him and we will pay dearly for it There were no phones then, so he couldn't call his rich friend to apologise. From beating to punishment, haaa i can never forget. Till today, i look at 7up with so much disdain now, even when i see a billboard or an ad on tv, the memories of that beating come back and i shudder. My sister hasn't touched 7up or sprite since that day. It's forever ingrained in our memories.


also curled from the web

I can relate with that childhood experience during those my aunty sells soft drinks like Limca at Obalende police barrack. Although, my dad wasn't that stingy
Re: The Phone Prank That Earned Me The Worst Beating Of My Life by lordweezy(m): 9:20am On Jul 01, 2017
shege45:
my mum heard me singing "sucking of woman breast in a song".after d beating, i fell ill.


tomorrow if I hear say u suck woman breast I go run go tell ur mama. shege d breast legend

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