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How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship - Romance - Nairaland

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My Manhood Wouldn't Let Me Approach Woman, How Can I Overcome It, I Need Help / Failed Relationship Vs. Failed Marriage / How To Overcome The Pains Of Distance Relationships (1) (2) (3) (4)

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How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by BEMAN: 12:29pm On Feb 03, 2010
before now, i hv been a very happy person thinking i got evry thing going well 4 me
i hv been in a relationship with a girl i luv so so much.she was every thing to me in summary d apple of my eye. we have been dating 4 8 years and aslo very close,she's also very loved by my family of which it was our intension to perform d traditional rite by june
it was a very big shock to me when she call me to tell me that she will b geting married to another guy. i beg and beg bt she told me nothing can be done. when i ask her d reason 4 her decission she said that d new guy is from her village and her parents prefer dat and beside d guy is ready 4 married just bc i told her that i will be going for my master in uk 4 1 year after our triditional.
After all this i have been so depressed i just cant get her off my mind
is it bc d guy works in a bank and i work with an agent?
have i been luving and dieing 4 d wrong person all this tim?
our past memory keeps hunting me i cnt even eat or sleep 4 days now
i did nt deserve my present situation i was faithfull and devoted
pls i need ur advice d pain is just to much cry
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by sistajay(f): 12:34pm On Feb 03, 2010
Sorry ooo. . . . . . only time can heal your broken heart!
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by BEMAN: 12:43pm On Feb 03, 2010
is so hard to imagine life out her
and she wit another
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by BEMAN: 12:43pm On Feb 03, 2010
witout her
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by madlady(f): 12:47pm On Feb 03, 2010
@Poster,sister-jay said it!! TIME WILL HEAL, I know you feel the pain strongly truly you will get over it, you have to.

You were together such a long time. I feel very sad for you.
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by ebila(m): 12:58pm On Feb 03, 2010
@poster,
Man, i know how u feel.But here's d truth.Everyfin dat happens does so 4 a very good reason(we just don't see d reasons in time).U don't hav to be depressed ova dat.Go out often,make friends wif gurls(not necessarily 4 intimacy) n do fun stuff.Try to take ur mind off her cos it's only u dat can do it n it's only u dat can stand in ur way of doin' it.Move on man,it's over!
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by milkan05(m): 1:03pm On Feb 03, 2010
hey yaaaaa!!!! would love to go all sarcastic on u but i feel ya pains - coz i've been there before.

For my tears and alcohol did the trick. cool
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by Godmother(f): 1:06pm On Feb 03, 2010
Those with caps dont have heads and those with heads dont have caps. Dont worry, with time you will get over the hurt and find someone else who will genuinely return your love.Her leaving simply means she wasnt the right woman for you in the first place
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by viperman: 1:24pm On Feb 03, 2010
@BEMAN

See ehn, The best way to get over it is to

1. Accept the fact that she's gone.

2. Accept the fact that you didn't waste those 8years, they were training years for the wonderful woman you're going to get married to.

3. whenever you remember what you both shared Cry WHENEVER IF YOU WANT TO, don't hold it back. There's no manliness is holding back tears if the pain felt warrants it, don;t mind anyone around you telling you to be a man. Some people heal faster that way.

4. Go out, visit and hangout with more female friends(or male if you're female). Do not date, i repeat do not date(at least for the next 3 months of fun activity), you'd only extend the hurt.

5. Relax and go with the flow of everyday till you meet someone your spirit keys with. This is after you've healed from this current breakup, 3-4months should be an ok for your spirit to lead you right. Anytime before then, you're not thinking clearly.


NOTE: this is for the average person, some pple heal faster.
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by afrobaby(f): 1:36pm On Feb 03, 2010
i feel ur pains, dont worry, its a matter of time, u will get over it
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by nikkykay(f): 1:41pm On Feb 03, 2010
8 Goood YearsS!!!!!!Thats a very long time.Anyway,its not how far ,it is how well.
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by BEMAN: 1:55pm On Feb 03, 2010
thanx to evry 1 for d advice
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by vivaladiva(f): 2:02pm On Feb 03, 2010
listen to REM, every body hurts sometimes
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by ITbomb(m): 2:04pm On Feb 03, 2010
i think viperman(vampireboy) made excellent points here

Accept the fact that you didn't waste those 8years, they were training years for the wonderful woman you're going to get married to.

Go out, visit and hangout with more female friends(or male if you're female). Do not date, i repeat do not date(at least for the next 3 months of fun activity), you'd only extend the hurt.

i would add if ur conscience allow, a little alcohol will provide temporary relieve cos only time will heal the hurt
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by unban190: 4:56pm On Feb 03, 2010
and please let me add what every other person 4got to chip in~


DONT COMMIT SUICIDE
dont go near any knieves
dont cross any roads
dont go near any bridges
dont go or buy any solid hard ropes
leave the rats in your house alone at-least for another 3-6months,cos rat poison now would definitely not be a good thing, so abeg let them be~ they should be with u this mourning time


have you heard me poster
become a good fan of moet and night-rain,they can help you more than ever this period
cry your eyes out if you have to,


Just my 2 cents of advice if u ask me
from your professional adviser 190
simply the best
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by BEMAN: 8:44pm On Feb 03, 2010
thanx unban 190
i will nt
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by unban190: 9:13pm On Feb 03, 2010
its 190 not unban 190

ure welcome~ grin grin
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by ebila(m): 10:11pm On Feb 03, 2010
unban190:

its 190 not unban 190

ure welcome~ grin grin
I sure way NL go don tire to ban u! cheesy cheesy cheesy grin grin grin wink wink wink
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by topup: 10:55pm On Feb 03, 2010
Dear poster, I feel your pain. So sorry, I am very sure that she has not just forgotten all about you, but her decision has to be seen as permanent until you get over her, because she will unite with another man.

Please don't feel like all your efforts went to waste, you have grown and learnt more about the man you are, and we cannot guarantee that the man she is with will treat her much better.

You just have to be grateful in a way that this happened before your marriage - man!! What she did was terrible.

I can't imagine how you feel (though earlier I said "I feel your pain" tongue)

Please keep busy, join a gym, exercise, get a makeover, go out more often with your friends, don't just sit at home sulking, but feel free to vent here smiley
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by pro01: 11:28pm On Feb 03, 2010
@ 'unban' 190
You dey colo small small o. Wetin concern suicide for the matter? You 4 discourage MURDER instead. Anyhow.

@ Poster,

Trust me, i'm in your shoes (although mine wasn't up to 8 years!). Thats why am almost a misogynist now. But, am glad most of the responses so far have been helpful.

HOWEVER, the fact that the girl can so coldly jilt you despite all, shows you how ungrateful, shallow, and 'love-peddling' most (black, esp. Nigerian) females are. Like you said, you're a (struggling?) agent, while the dude that 'bought' her is a banker. Do you think she would have left you (forget village or no village) if you work in Chevron's oil rig?, or if you were very rich, regardless of the source? Please.

My brother, forget the biatch and work hard. By God's grace you'd make it and marry someone that is 1000% better than her in all ramifications. Amen.
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by unban190: 12:54am On Feb 04, 2010
^^

amen
but see ooh
i nor dey kolo but how wich na u dey dis kin trouble wen this poster dey so
I for don advice u make u commit suicide tey tey~
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by BEMAN: 9:13am On Feb 04, 2010
somtimx it seems to me lik a dream
bt i no is nt
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by peelovee(f): 9:37am On Feb 04, 2010
Sorry, time will heal.

You should be happy that she showed her true colour why it wasnt too late. ( i mean a week /months close June)

Accept the fact that the 8yrs you had with her wasnt a waste but a stepping stone to met the right woman for you.

Also accept the fact that you were an IT student for that 8yrs, and have acquire the knowledge.

Dear stop mourning for her, let her be your past experience.

Look into your future because it is pregnant and great
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by unban190: 9:52am On Feb 04, 2010
^^

why not just make things easier
and help this guy out
walk rite in2 his life

so he can have cause for smiles
save him from this his sucide girlfriend
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by ruskiee(m): 10:03am On Feb 04, 2010
Why call it a failure. See it as a stepping stone to better relationships.
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by BEMAN: 10:11am On Feb 04, 2010
i pray so my broda's and sista's
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by idstar(f): 2:45pm On Feb 04, 2010
It really hurt, i know. Dated this guy for a year. Suddenly he stopped picking my calls and did not call. But am a strong black lady so i just moved ahead with my life as if nothing happened. Though i still miss him attimes, i know it was for the best, let the NaughtyPerson run along so my original rib can locate me
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by missravishing: 1:05pm On Jun 02, 2012
What d girl did was d best thing,I can't date sm1 4 8yrs we need 2define our courtship men can b very mean,after dat 8yrs dey can still dump u lik a piece of poo or wen he goes 2 d UK story go change.I love wise girls lik her...even if am dating a guy now and I see sm other person who is so serious with me and wants 2get married.sori I'll so dump dat guy cuz ders a probability he won't even marry or or his even cheating..guys r wicked..am sori 2say I cut cap 4dat girl she too smart..wish all girls could b as wise as her..bt sm were born 2b foolish especially wen it comes 2 relationships
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by kemiola89(f): 3:16pm On Jun 02, 2012
welcome to the world of reality!
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by Mynd44: 8:29pm On Jun 02, 2012
What's with all these old thread coming back nah?
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by fasttrack(m): 6:00am On Jun 14, 2012
LoL

@OP did u move on
Re: How To Overcome Depression After A Failed Relationship by BEMAN: 10:18pm On Oct 15, 2012
tanks its abt 3 years nw i moved on n married nw wit my family in cardiff. sad memory lol

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