glo4chuks:
We have been married 4 - 5 years with so many ups n down but by the God's grace we are gaining balance now. But my husband just got a habit of always pressing his phone, while eating, talking evening wake up at midnight just to operate phone.

This habit has limited communication, sex, in fact anything at all couples can do. He goes to office in the morning, comes back by 6 or 7 :oo but all he will do for the rest of the day is phone.

l have talked to him several times about it but no change, I don't want to suspect anything but am getting tired of this union pls advice a sister tnx.

Why exactly did you marry him because it seems both of you never shared anything in common from the onset

glo4chuks:
We have been married 4 - 5 years with so many ups n down but by the God's grace we are gaining balance now. But my husband just got a habit of always pressing his phone, while eating, talking evening wake up at midnight just to operate phone.

This habit has limited communication, sex, in fact anything at all couples can do. He goes to office in the morning, comes back by 6 or 7 :oo but all he will do for the rest of the day is phone.

l have talked to him several times about it but no change, I don't want to suspect anything but am getting tired of this union pls advice a sister tnx.

first find out what he does with phone, if thats where the money comes from, you dont have a choice. I am also a phone addict but my type of job is more of research and communication and my partner undstands. I sincerely, make a lot of research not facebook or social media waste of time. Good thing, is i still make out time for my family. Find out what he does with the phone, and also upgrade your level of intelligence i.e...gisting what is in line with what he likes, convo will start immidiately. If he is the news type, read the current news ahead before he comes back and bring it up as gist.

Maybe the relationship between you two is soured, he is angry over issues between u and he just use his phone to ignore u and occupy his mind in order to shut out the problems. He is getting kind of tired of the marriage. Maybe reorganization of everything will do, those things u know that piss him off stop doing them

I am in thesame vehicle with your husband. Always deny him of full bar (battery) that's all.

Regardless of how helpless you may be feeling, it's commendable that you are willing to save your union rather than opting for the worse thougt.

I will recommend you try engaging yourself with candy crush or any activity that will keep you busy.

I believe the more you try to make him change or see things from your view, the more you hurt yourself.

At times, solutions to certain issues comes when all we have to do is watch, pray and have faith.

#sayNO2divorce

Many culprits here confessing

I Think You should mentain a distance for now since you've talked to him, when he ask you what happen be emotional and disclose your feeling to him. May God give you more wisdom in jesus name amen

Phone addiction is now a general disease, don't leave your marriage because of it, make ur husband understand how u feel, if he loves u, he will change.

Madam, you better DON'T even give it a try; you're on the cusp of bringing unmerited issues that could make your husband finally go haywire....... as long as he gives you all the attention you need from him - leave him, when the time is right, he'll change....... And if he doesn't, live with it.......

it simple na, collect the phone and smash it on the floor

The only thing you can do here is to stay very quiet when next he uses his phone and just play dumb to whatever he says.. He would realize his error and make correction. That should work if all those slay queens haven't start eating ur husband " Ofe Nsala". Lol.

babythug:
It's a common scenario in many homes. I suggest you find other things to occupy your own time too at least for a while.

The attention you're paying to the matter will likely make your man more fixated on using the phone.

As harsh as it sounds keep communication basic for now! Just ignore him he will come round eventually!

Apt. Very wise advice.

Just collect the phone nd smash it ..then call his ancestors ..finish

OP...some people here want to put you in trouble.

1) Do not dare to collect the phone from him...I'm warning you... men like to have their space...don't cross it.
2) Do not try to tell him to stop it, men like to have their way...don't block it.
3) Rather, what you should do is to be diplomatic, ask him if there is anything interesting on the internet so that you can both watch it together...I suspect he is addicted to stories on instagram, especially baba adan and ereme. So that way, he will be able to watch some of the comedies with you, then you can both talk about it during dinner.

In fact, if it is *** related, then tell him to come to the other room for practicals.

If it is political news and NNamdi Kanu wahala, then tell him to gist you about what has been happening in Nigeria.

In doing this, you will find out that there is so much to gist about.

But HEY.....hey...hey,,... I swear if it is none of the above, pack your load because he could be another "Evans the Kidnapper" arranging some crazy runs via phone.

women get wahala i swear! he is addicted to his phone for God sake. who knws if he's reading something educative or doing some business deal.

Maybe he's playing clash of kings. Ive seen many married men engrossed with d game, both day and night. Always pressing phone

Marriage is like a multiple choice questions examination...nobody here peddling advice has the same question paper.

That's why you were given the certificate first?

Let's wait for the elders

There are ways to stop your husband's phone addiction. though you can help but you should know the greater task lies on your husband.

That said, see 5 Effective ways to break a phone addiction > http://www.absolutehearts.com/2017/05/5-effective-ways-to-break-phone.html#more

Your husband they play sport betting

I'm an addict too

To be able to render a good advice it is important we understand how we humans are wired.

We are spirit beings, have souls and live in organic constructs which we use to interact with our physical environment.
That said we need to differentiate the different parts of our being and how they are wired.

Our bodies, being organic as they are, depend on life-source which is gotten by feeding on the life-source of other beings dead or alive, thus with the transfer of life, our bodies are kept going;
This means that our bodies do not need pleasure to survive but basically food and rest.

Our spirits, once alive with the Zoe power that is YHVH, can only feed and receive spiritual information, vis-a-viz, dreams, visions, prayers are the activities our spirits can be involved in.

But our souls, that is the tricky one,
Our souls feed on pleasure, and such pleasure is gotten by emotional excitation fed to our souls via synapses to our brain.
This means that we use our bodies to bring pleasure to our souls (by interacting with our physical environment via our 5 senses), feel good and combat the vacuum down in our belly left there by YHVH to draw us closer to Him.

So a lot of the activity (some of which are detrimental to our bodies) we engage in is for the sole purpose of pleasing ourselves (souls).

So our soul feeds on pleasure, which can be gotten via activity, and how does this happen?

We feel pleased when we are acknowledged, when we are recognized and when we are rewarded.

Companies have used this theory to make millions via our own desire for vanity via social media, instant messaging and games in that order.

And we patronizers of their systems and apps find ourselves in this visious cycle of wanting to be heard and recognized to get high on our own self-made system of emotional gratification.


Many people are addicted to the Internet today for these reasons; they want to be seen (and rate people's acceptance of them on social media by likes and posts), they want to be entertained (via visually appealing images and videos), and they want to be rewarded (by playing games [created with a kind-of-forever and never ending reward scheme]).

Have you ever tried to stay away from your phone for some hours and notice that you start having symptoms of someone having a withdrawal syndrome?

If you have then you must know that that feeling is your soul trying to tell you that it wants to feed on something!


Now many of us are addicted to this cycle of wanting to be seen of men and trying hard to be,
And I want to believe your husband is addicted as well.

Now here's the thing;
Your husband is feeding his soul rampantly with excitation of his emotions, and the continuous double-back to his phone tells it is either a chat with someone or a game he's playing or he's checking for likes to feel good about a post.

It is not that he doesn't acknowledge you; but that he's trapped in a cycle that can only be broken deliberately.

So, you need to get to him!

How?

Since talking and complaining won't work,

Here is what I recommend,

Examine his day to day activities and find one thing about his day that he doesn't play with,

For example his food,

Then begin to lag in your commitment, either don't prepare the food on time or prepare it funny,
And make sure to make it consistent,

Eventually he will begin to complain, and apologize every time but continue to hit the rock with your hammer,

Eventually out of frustration he will erupt, and afterwards, do calmly apologize (don't argue) and continue your campaign.

The time will come when he will humbly sit you down and ask what he can do to make you focus more,

Then you would have gotten to him and two of you can now talk.

This method may sound harsh (and I'd recommend another if you feel it is too provocative), but at times to get someone to come to their senses you may have to do something instead of just talk.


If he's extrovertish this technique won't take so long to pull out; the attention of sanguines are most easy to have.


One more thing; as much as possible NEVER take yourself to that bridge of suspicion of infidelity except if you have concrete reasons to do so.
The emotional travail will weaken your pleasure-starved soul and cause you to age badly.


If my advise doesn't satisfy you can pm me so we can talk more elaborately.


cheers!

my wife moat not see this o

Are you I a person that nags?

Khd95:
I have this feelings that ur hubby too is a nairalander,always with his phone to see if there is any news about lala and snakes,tonto dike,hush puppi and gucci buhari and london....the list is endless

suggestion;wait fo the elders of nairaland to arrive first

or better still an e-warrior warlord.

My dear, its not your husband alone. I believe am more addicted to my phone more than your husband. I have been denied of sex several times because i was busy with my phone when she signaled. You just need to bring up topics that you think he will be interested in. And secondly, don't make him feel you are angry because of his addiction to phone, you can also dedicate your time to something else and i bet you, he will come seeking for your attention. Do this and thank me later.

glo4chuks:
We have been married 4 - 5 years with so many ups n down but by the God's grace we are gaining balance now. But my husband just got a habit of always pressing his phone, while eating, talking evening wake up at midnight just to operate phone.

This habit has limited communication, sex, in fact anything at all couples can do. He goes to office in the morning, comes back by 6 or 7 :oo but all he will do for the rest of the day is phone.

l have talked to him several times about it but no change, I don't want to suspect anything but am getting tired of this union pls advice a sister tnx.

Dear OP,

This is what you have to do. Reduce the possessive nature of love you have for him. Obviously, his addiction to internet has taken a great part of your union. People do not change because you fight them, people change when they realize you have changed. So therefore, do yourself a singular favor of creating artificial scarcity of your availability to you at his most desperate moments. Do not be available, in fact become addicted to your own phone and learn to love yourself by yourself. You will discover that he will sense your aloofness. When he comes to you, push him away and continue with your addiction, and he when the shitt hits the ceiling tell him that you have quarrelled about him with his phone, that he has forced you out of his priorities, that you want to also focus of your priorities. Men are babies, he will be sorry. Do not think you can not do this, because you depend on him for everything, he wont run, it is impossible to loose a husband if you are manipulative enough. Life is about manipulation in a very moral way. It is called Diplomacy, and you have become a Diplomat.

Go and win the war.

OP. It's almost same here.

The only difference is that my wife gets on with her Phone as much as I do. So no one notices a vacuum cus we both are equally busy with our phones and we still get to communicate too.

If it was just one of us, there'd have been problems

he is bored.

glo4chuks:
We have been married 4 - 5 years with so many ups n down but by the God's grace we are gaining balance now. But my husband just got a habit of always pressing his phone, while eating, talking evening wake up at midnight just to operate phone.

This habit has limited communication, sex, in fact anything at all couples can do. He goes to office in the morning, comes back by 6 or 7 :oo but all he will do for the rest of the day is phone.

l have talked to him several times about it but no change, I don't want to suspect anything but am getting tired of this union pls advice a sister tnx.

He is hinting that he is tired of seeing same things, do you understand?