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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened (105083 Views)
My Husband Has Become A Domestic Slave In Our House & I Do Not Know How To Stop / My Wicked Wife Didn't Buy Christmas Clothes For Our House Help / My Wife's Sister Is About To Crash My Marriage, Please Help (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by ststyreal(f): 11:44pm On Jul 31, 2017 |
yomi007k:I understand the fact that she didn't inform him before coming but then, she is here already, why not pretend for even a second because this person in question is now a family member, who might be of help to them someday, especially when his wife is pregnant or about putting to bed, she will need a sister to assist and be by her. These are some of the things he should have considered or thoughts of before reacting the way he did. Any way, God knows the best. 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by Blade21: 6:03am On Aug 01, 2017 |
coolcatty:good advice 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by mylove4him(f): 6:53am On Aug 01, 2017 |
I am sorry to say most of the people getting married now don't know what it is to stay married. So far u have agreed to come together, you have lost every sense of your individual life and decisions. Any thing you want to do and you know that it will impact negative on your spouse he or she is supposed to be in the know. Marriage issues aren't solved by knowing the immediate cause, you have to know the root cause. For those blaming the man. The root cause is the woman bringing the sister without informing him. In which isn't supposed to be like that. The man only reacted the way he reacted because he felt his position was undermined. Though he is wrong to have told his cousin to tell him whatsoever happens in the house. This isn't sustained cos he is the man n not the woman. The woman should have informed the hubby that the sister is coming to stay. I hate couples who put his or her spouse in the middle. Married couples please learn how to respect each other. Inform your spouse wen any of your family is coming to stay. And if they came n exceeded the number of days already told. Have the courtesy to go back and inform your spouse that their stay have been extended. Even if you are the man bringing the money. The woman has a role to play too. As your money can't stand up n cook for your siblings. Or even the woman providing more. You need to Accord respect to the man by carrying him along. If couples learn to respect each other's feelings. The world would be a better place. 32 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by NoToPile: 7:19am On Aug 01, 2017 |
Are you not married already, you called her your wife sebi you have done your traditional halting the white wedding plans doesn't change the fact that you are married . Anyway both of you need to grow up, this is not supposed to be an issue, just a little wisdom and tact Your lady is not very wise and you too have your own issues. 11 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by jashar(f): 8:30am On Aug 01, 2017 |
coolcatty: that's why people don't make progress in life.... someone you don't know, you're insulting.... it shows poor mannerisms.... i hope you feel better about yourself for doing what you did? 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by ImaIma1(f): 9:15am On Aug 01, 2017 |
The sister is your Sister inlaw. Even if your wife did not mention it, you had a right to be upset but to discuss it with your wife in a cool manner so that SIL doesn't feel like her coming is a taboo or big issue. You complain about your wife now but i suppose that you have dated her for a while and accepted her flaws enough for you to wed her traditionally and i know you also has flaws that she has to deal with. Or are you perfect? You are the man of the house and should be able to handle the affairs with understanding,love and wisdom. Being the man does not mean being autocratic and demanding respect and wanting to control. It requires more strength of the mind than physical. What i see is a lack of unity between you and your wife. If you are united, no one would be able to come between both of you. Even when an issue like this comes up, you would resolve it without a 3rd party knowing that their action was a problem. Both of you should start talking and understanding each other more. Only SIL is shaking your marriage. Mother in law has not even come yet (your mum or her mum) 10 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by Nobody: 8:06pm On Aug 01, 2017 |
All of this commotion because of gas and hot water See poverty! |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by crackhaus: 9:30pm On Aug 01, 2017 |
Jahblessme:Get sense. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by richyblink1(m): 9:50pm On Aug 01, 2017 |
Richy4: Say sorry my foot! What made his wife feel she can take decisions without carrying hubby along? Imagine asking the sister to come without informing her hubby. That's a sign of lack of respect. She even have the guts to shout when she overheard the hubby asking his cousin to always get approval from him for certain issues, whereas her own sister came without hubby's notice. Oga, it's either she apologies and learn manners, or face more confrontations from hubby 5 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by richyblink1(m): 10:02pm On Aug 01, 2017 |
Benita27: Let's learn to stick to facts. Op never asked the cousin to disobey wifey, he only asked her to inform him whenever the uninvited sis inlaw dishes out commands without his notice. That's not too much, he foots the bill and should decide when and how an uninvited guess under his roof should live in his house. The wife should learn some manners and inform hubby when next her people wants to visit with all the bags in their house. I bet hubby's cousin did not just appear one day and start staying with them without wifey being in the picture 5 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by Nobody: 10:17pm On Aug 01, 2017 |
richyblink1:You obviously failed at comprehending what I said. Never said he asked the girl to disobey his wife but that the instructions he gave the girl would have a negative effect in his marriage which would make the girl disobey his wife on the long run with the excuse that the man of the house said she should ask him first before doing anything for his in-laws. Was that difficult to grasp?. Secondly, in marriage; man and wife are one. So there's nothing like I paid the bills so I must take all the decisions. They arrive at decisions jointly. That you paid all the bills doesn't mean you call all the shots. They're called husband and wife for a reason. Need I tell you that the man's actions were petty. If I were his sister in-law I would have left too never to visit him in my life. What kind of man quarrels over pots of boiled water for his in-law, whether he was told or not?. 6 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by richyblink1(m): 10:28pm On Aug 01, 2017 |
Benita27: Is it equally difficult to grasp that the sis inlaw was an uninvited guess? And as such should be treated like one. Respect should be earned you know. What stopped the sister in law from calling her bro in law to inform him of her visit ahead of time. Need I equally tell you that the wife intend calling the shots by asking her sister to come without informing hubby? And if not checked, "good morning, will give birth to how are you" 8 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by Nobody: 10:32pm On Aug 01, 2017 |
richyblink1:So if your brother visits your house without a prior call or message that he would be visiting, will you throw him out or treat him badly 'cause you were not informed?. If you check yourself and you know the answer is "No" then let's call it a day. 6 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by richyblink1(m): 10:39pm On Aug 01, 2017 |
Benita27: Like you said earlier, you fail to comprehend. A visit with Ghana must go bag should not be treated lightly as it's a planned visit, hence needs an approval. If you check yourself and understand the difference between a scheduled and planned visit and an impromptu visit, then we can call it a day 9 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by Richy4(m): 11:55pm On Aug 01, 2017 |
richyblink1: My brother, You are simply missing the point.. The Sister inlaw i guess was @ the orientation camp but felt that she doesn't want the stress, and decides to camp in her sister's house Maybe she thought that since her sister's wedding was around the corner, she can stay and help her out with shopping and all other running around.... Yes the wife missed it by not informing the husband, but If the man was an accomodating individual, the issue would have been ironed out in the bedroom.. But let me ask u, if u were married, and your younger sister call that she will be spending a week in your house.. on her arrival you heard your wife telling your house help not to do anything to assist your sister without informing her.. hw will that sit with you? Besides, the OP has been complainng that the inlaws doesn't like him...But this singular act he portrayed,how will they like him if they get to hear this.. For me, I don't see his grudges as an issue...He should show that he is the bigger man and ask for forgiveness...it doesn't matter who was at fault 16 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by richyblink1(m): 7:10am On Aug 02, 2017 |
Richy4: Not if I were married, I am married with kids. And no visitor has ever visited my house(my mum inclusive) without me personally informing wifey. As I talk to you I have both mother in law, brother in law and sister in law in my house at the moment. So I have no fuse about in laws visiting, but it must be spelt out. No one comes to my house unannounced and start issuing order around. Yes the hubby over amplified the issue, but madam lack respect. Do you know at times my mum calls my wife to inform her she will be visiting, it's my wife that will stylishly tell me that mama might be coming next month. I will just laugh because I know they have spoken. When I will ask my mum why she hasn't told me, she will simply say that there is still time, that she only informed the madam of the house ahead of time. 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by Richy4(m): 8:46am On Aug 02, 2017 |
richyblink1: We are still saying the same thing man...The whole thing is all about accommodating ..judging by what i read, OP isn't the type.....He might be the type that doesn't play the extended family thing, and i do not blame him for that because people are different ...And I believe that the girl did not show up unannounced only that the woman of the house treated her coming in a casual way..That was why she left with her dignity intact ...these days that mobile phones are everywhere, who shows up in another person's house unannounced...? 7 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by ImaIma1(f): 10:09am On Aug 02, 2017 |
richyblink1: But should it cause a major fracas because the wife failed to inform him? Isn't it something they could have talked through privately and resolved without the SIL being in the line of fire. Going as far as telling his cousin to consult him before doing anything for the SIL is petty and unnecessary. It would have been better to discuss with the wife and tell her to try to manage the situation and her sister's excesses during the time that she is there. He actually did not handle it well. These things are done with wisdom. You might dislike an inlaw but they will never know. If my BIL or SIL comes with load without my husband informing me, i will take it out on my husband but i will make sure my inlaw is comfortable. The wife was wrong and the husband was "more wrong" cos he couldn't handle the situation. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by nnamdiosu(m): 10:14am On Aug 02, 2017 |
Plankton2017: Bro... God is giving you one last chance to think properly before u completely tie the knot in bondage....sorry marriage. Bro think well. Marriage is meant to be a thing of joy. Granted, there will always be issues, but.. If the beginning of eternity in marriage is like this. ..how will the middle be. I won't say go or stay. It's a decision that only you can take. But if what is meant to bring you joy is bring you sadness, shame and grief..... It's well. Amen 5 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by richyblink1(m): 12:16pm On Aug 02, 2017 |
ImaIma1: Mind you, hubby never confronted the sis in law, neither did he say they shouldn't allow her access to stuffs at home. He only directed that he be aware when sister in law gives order in his house. It's a simple issue the wife failed to address that gave birth to all the many grammars. What stopped her from confronting hubby politely when she overheard hubby's instructions to his cousin. Must she shout to pass her message giving the fact that she started the whole drama by undermining her hubby. Let me give you an example. My sis in law was already on her way when wifey informed me about her trip. How she presented it made me overlook it. So I wonder why the wife felt shouting is the way out. 5 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by ImaIma1(f): 1:29pm On Aug 02, 2017 |
richyblink1: I never said the husband confronted his SIL but she heard the quarrel over her. So if the SIL says to the cousin "I am hungry, what is available to eat", the cousin should contact the husband even when he is not around and ask him if she should give her food before she does. He could as well just lock the kitchen and hold the key. These things are not cast and stone. People make mistakes but compounding issues only makes it worse. Is it the gravest offence for his inlaw to visit without being informed by his wife? NO. If he cannot manage a little issue like this, what happens to bigger issues because as a married man yourself, you know they will come. His reaction and attitude only tells about the kind of man he is. I can pack my load and go to my sister's place and my BIL will welcome me and even joke with me and then go inside and quietly scold his wife and let her know she was wrong not to tell him i was coming but he would come back outside smiling. That is maturity and wisdom. If OP wants to measure yam or count gas, he shouldn't complain about his inlaws not liking him. 11 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by pocohantas(f): 5:31pm On Aug 02, 2017 |
Nawa o No be this same thing women dey do, that earns them the bad wife tag? OP's wife was wrong, very wrong...but OP, being the man of the house didn't handle it any better. They both have a lot of growing to do. Jahblessme: The only unbiased post in this thread!! 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by Abiagirl777(f): 5:52pm On Aug 02, 2017 |
Dear plankton2017,its not strange that you disagree,you disagree to agree.Infact if you don't fight then there's a problem. Do you want to marry a doormat,she has to say her mind but how she says it and after is what is important. some things are to be corrected from your post by both of you; 1. You shouldn't have' your' room.It brings division,huge one .you wouldn't even knw when you'll start living as roomies rather than lovers. 2. both of you will learn how to discuss after each quarrel. as man most times initiate it.women are petty and may not want to initiate it. 3.Don't let the ppl in your house 'see you finish',it brings insults and looking down.If you must shout, go into your private room and vent. 4. you and your wife should inform each other first before even your mums come.that way no party will feel aggrieved or burdened. 5.Both of you should learn to say sorry always,it doesnt reduce anybody 5. Pls always pray together.one hardly quarells with whoever he/she prays with. pls show her these and may God's love and peace abide in your sweet home. 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by ivolt: 6:22pm On Aug 02, 2017 |
Why do you have to wait this long to be concerned about her domineering attitude ? You have to go ahead with the wedding and hope she changes. However, you erred in denying your in-law free access to food, if you must manage due to economic reasons, you should have discussed that with your wife instead of instructing your cousin to monitor the eating habits of your in- law, that is insulting and disrespectful, If I were your in-law, I will stay away from your house forever. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by Taeewo(m): 6:24pm On Aug 02, 2017 |
Jejely |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by Atalia: 6:25pm On Aug 02, 2017 |
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Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by Kokaine(m): 6:25pm On Aug 02, 2017 |
Plankton2017:there are one billion fishes in the river. the unsubmissive wife is bad news anyday. if you dont want to die of high bp, stay single and be happy. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by leighcon(m): 6:26pm On Aug 02, 2017 |
What volume of gas (LPG) did you buy for N6,000.00? Plankton2017: 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by adjoviomole(m): 6:26pm On Aug 02, 2017 |
Don't mind some crazy advice you getting here. Sit her down and you guys talk it out like adults. Tell her the things she does that you don't like... |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by EzeLevi: 6:27pm On Aug 02, 2017 |
Is it easy to fall out of love with someone u really love? Gourdoinc: |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by jonnytad(m): 6:27pm On Aug 02, 2017 |
I thought something else happened. ... like you came in and saw the lady undressed and you went inside your room and she followed you and something happened. . Anyways, jst prepare yourself for worst situations, bt i wont advice you to quit. No lady is perfect. Thats why God gave the authority of your marriage to you. She'll eventually come to understand. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Wife's Sister Sneaked Out Of NYSC Camp & Came Into Our House, This Happened by otokx(m): 6:28pm On Aug 02, 2017 |
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