Pidgin2:
How can I watch my spouse take care of his family and neglect mine? I reject it in Jesus name

Rapmoney:
A friend of mine recently lamented badly how he has been subjected to a mere source of income for his wife's family. Apart from buying things for them during festive periods, he is still been called on every now and then to take care of minor issues that should ordinarily be taken care of the family. There are grown up men in his wife's family but this young man will still be called on to foot medical bills of his father-in-law, support house rent and other funny things such as paying for DSTV subscription. Whenever he complained to the wife about these, she would tell him if members of her family could help, they would have done that. The eldest male in the family who is almost 42 still calls my friend for financial assistance!

Now, my question is: Does it mean if my pal's wife didn't marry him, the entire family would have been wiped out by financial problems? I personally feel his unnecessary kindness towards the family is becoming a huge burden in life. I believe he is been used.

I believe this is a common phenomenon in some families which makes it look as if it is the responsibility of a man to cater for his wife's family no matter how comfortable or not the man may be.

Juliearth:

Your wife's family becomes your family after marriage,so you should take care of them as you would your own family.

Rapmoney:
Lol! I think some Nigerian parents feel their sons-in-law owe them financial assistance.

This is just the beginning, wait till like two of her siblings start staying with you ..... all in the name of tradition.

Juliearth:

Your wife's family becomes your family after marriage,so you should take care of them as you would your own family.



Modified: so, my comment was quoted countlessly in the wrong light. Sometimes,I think we should take a chill pill and read comments with an open mind. The family I talked about above is none other but a man's extended family and not his nuclear family and footing their bills is/should be done out of goodwill and not a matter of necessitative responsibility. Do you need to foot the subscription fees of your uncle?.. or buy aso ebi for his wife ..? But then if there is a life threatening emergency and you have the means to help,it'd be wise to do so....such rights are deserving of your wife's family too. I hope nobody quotes me in the wrong light. Cheers!

FromZeroToHero:
He that watereth shall be watered. A generous man prospers whereas the stingy looses everything. If your friend has the financial ability to help let him go ahead. Blessed is the hand that giveth.

femi4:
Rule 1: Never marry a woman from a struggling family

Nma27:
So who will marry the woman from a struggling family?

Juliearth:


Exactly my point. All he needs do is to draw a thick line between their wants and their needs and focus on their needs(the pressing ones at that.)

Fourwinds:
nobody is saying one shouldn't marry from a struggling family but they should use their problem to weigh down d young man....I had such experience while dating....meeeennnhhh it is was terrible....when u can fulfil u see hate in d eyes of d girl...thank God I ended it

femi4:
Rule 1: Never marry a woman from a struggling family

ice4u999:


The rule should be marry a wise womam because I have seen the man come from a struggling family and the woman helped elevate the man

Fourwinds:
nobody is saying one shouldn't marry from a struggling family but they should use their problem to weigh down d young man....I had such experience while dating....meeeennnhhh it is was terrible....when u can fulfil u see hate in d eyes of d girl...thank God I ended it

Rapmoney:
A friend of mine recently lamented badly how he has been subjected to a mere source of income for his wife's family. Apart from buying things for them during festive periods, he is still been called on every now and then to take care of minor issues that should ordinarily be taken care of the family. There are grown up men in his wife's family but this young man will still be called on to foot medical bills of his father-in-law, support house rent and other funny things such as paying for DSTV subscription. Whenever he complained to the wife about these, she would tell him if members of her family could help, they would have done that. The eldest male in the family who is almost 42 still calls my friend for financial assistance!

Now, my question is: Does it mean if my pal's wife didn't marry him, the entire family would have been wiped out by financial problems? I personally feel his unnecessary kindness towards the family is becoming a huge burden in life. I believe he is been used.

I believe this is a common phenomenon in some families which makes it look as if it is the responsibility of a man to cater for his wife's family no matter how comfortable or not the man may be.

Nma27:
Lolz... I get u. Why didn't u teach her to fish rather than giving her fish?

Juliearth:


Exactly my point. All he needs do is to draw a thick line between their wants and their needs and focus on their needs(the pressing ones at that.)

femi4:
A struggling man