Evaberry:
....

Many men have been in this situation and many more will be.


I won't advise anyone to terminate better opportunities because of a girl.

you need to have a serious conversation with your gf, she's 30 will she be able to wait for you bearing in mind this is going to be a long distance relationship.


The chances of her succumbing to pressures to get married are going to be high, can she bear it.

Everyone here is going to advise you to leave this girl and focus on hustling but only you know how much impact she has/had in your life. only you know the pains you will go through you without her

4 Years is no child's play, can you know a girl as much as you know your gf Now, and by the time you make it so many female are gonna be attracted to you only because of wealth

mehn op I feel for you. Just roll a joint, smoke and relax

SuperSuave:
I don't know you or your girl but one thing I know is change is constant, be it attitudinal or something else and no one should be trusted 100% as long as they're human.

It will do the both of you real good if you guys can just handle the heartbreak of breaking up before you travel than unsettling yourself over there while your girl makes out with another man (probably as back up plan) or she being faithful to you while you exploit over there.

If you decide to still be in the relationship, your love for each other will definitely wax cold as time goes on I believe due to the distance barrier. You'll be tempted to go after other beauties while she will be constantly disturbed by various suitors too which will make her indecisive as age is no longer on her side I believe.

The ball is in your court bro, I wish you best of luck in your endeavor.

jonced:
This is a simple matter which u r complicating by ur own actions. U did not have to lie to your brother in the first instance. This is how when God opens doors, people use their own hands to mess up the door, thinking they r being smart.

This is what u should do...get on ur knees and ask God for forgiveness for lying and then make a petition for ur brother's heart to soften and be receptive towards what u will explain.

After that, call ur brother and apologise for the misinformation and explain why u did it. ie u were afraid of missing the opportunity. Then tell him the truth about ur gf and extol her virtues and ur plans for her.

Then also be transparent about the situation with ur gf. is let her know what's happening.

That's all...but keep praying about it and avoid habits that are counterproductive.

pweetiedee:
Op,

Don't let ur bro know u have a girl.

After ur MSC get a job and find a way to bring her over to you.

Don't stay back in naija o, cos the girl might leave u for a richer guy.

I'm not saying she Is a bad girl, but by the time friends and family make her see you are not capable, her mind will change.

So leave the love, hustle and if she is still available by then, do the needful.

I cannot stay back in this country because of any bf, cos I know bf willnnot stay back.

and if my bf is opportuned to travel for greener pastures, I will tell him to go and even pray for him.

what will be will be.

OrdercityWeb:

GBAAAM !!!
LOVE IS conditional.


You made very good points. But i have a problem with the bolded.
.
Please "true love" doesn't exist, at least not anymore. If there has to be a condition like you have above for you to have "true love" then it's not "true"
..
No woman at least in this century will ever love you for just who you're. They must "love" you for something you have. That's the sad reality.
..
People should stop abusing that word "love".
"True love" doesn't exist, if he misses this opportunity, she will leave him and he will regret it for the rest of his life. People should learn to be realistic, all this "lovey-dovey" is utopian and only exist in movies.

9japrof:


Brother this is the best advice so far, Drinkwater07 if you have ear please listen, please please do not give that lady hope that you are coming back to her, if you man it up and tell her to her face, tell her when you must have traveled for your studies, that lady is already 30, do not keep her waiting any longer.

She must have sacrificed a lot of offers for you, age is no longer on her side, she would be angry at first and even hate you, buh bros life can be a little shitty sometimes and its not fair.

Please i beg you, leave for school and dont keep that innocent lady waiting, if after ur studies and shes single and she still catches ur fancy, then you can marry her

joe4christ:


Your brain is running on the latest OS. That's a good thing. Wished an average nigerian is like you mehn. Kudos!

sarahade:


How old are you?
Please always think before typing it's a public forum.

alexistaiwo:
Brother better go and secure your future and leave love one side.
If you stay and end up broke here, your so called girl will sooner or later get disillusioned with life with you.
You are saying this now because of fear of what the future holds.
I can assure you that your relationship is over the moment you hop on that plane.
When you broaden your horizon abroad.
You will either move on or she will.
This is real life and in this digital age.
Absence doesn't make the heart fonder, it make the heart find it easier to move on

WomanOfRace:


I'm sure he is Dangote now i? and the so called girl is still with him not demanding fading! And i didn't see anywhere he said he ever caught her cheating on him for the 4years. If i'm a man, i will give this girl room for benefit of doubt, at t she deserves it. He is with him now he is nobody, she should be with him when he becomes somebody.

Drinkwater07:
In a dilemma right now, please those experienced in these kind of issues should help me.

I lost my Job at the Nigerian Breweries Last year, While I was working I made up my mind to marry my girlfriend of about 4 years now, this December. Both of us are 30 already, we are so much in love, but my job lost really hampered our marriage plans, because she is just engaged in the Npower scheme now and my cash that I saved have long almost finished right now. The reason I did not go into business with the little money I have at that time about 400k was that My elder brother in Canada promised to send me to Canada to join there. So far he have helped me secure admission for MSc. and payed my full tuition fee and even credited my account for the maintenance which the visa officers will see in my account. He also has the plans of sponsoring me through PHD also in Canada or the UK if I want. Now as I await my Visa, there is a really big issue I am fighting right now to manage.

My brother warned me to forget about any girl I have here in Nigeria, that most of them are fair weather friends, gold diggers and desperados, and that if I have anybody here in Nigeria waiting for me while I am away, that it will be a huge distraction for me. He told me he is speaking out of experience and won't want anybody to distract me while studying and hustling abroad. My girl is definitely none of what he described, she is a very good person and is never after money, She just love so much. I told him that I don't have anybody, This is to avoid him withdrawing his financial support for me or may be doubting my seriousness to succeed.

I was planning to come back and get married to my baby after my MSc, but I don't know how my brother will see it. He will be so disappointed with me, I hold my brother in so much high regard, and right from when I was a child he usually protects me so well and doesn't want anything to hamper my success, I love my girl so much, she is everything you will want in any woman. If I don't marry her I don't think I will be happy with anyone else. None of them is aware of what is bothering. How will I solve this issue.

Drinkwater07:
In a dilemma right now, please those experienced in these kind of issues should help me.

I lost my Job at the Nigerian Breweries Last year, While I was working I made up my mind to marry my girlfriend of about 4 years now, this December. Both of us are 30 already, we are so much in love, but my job lost really hampered our marriage plans, because she is just engaged in the Npower scheme now and my cash that I saved have long almost finished right now. The reason I did not go into business with the little money I have at that time about 400k was that My elder brother in Canada promised to send me to Canada to join there. So far he have helped me secure admission for MSc. and payed my full tuition fee and even credited my account for the maintenance which the visa officers will see in my account. He also has the plans of sponsoring me through PHD also in Canada or the UK if I want. Now as I await my Visa, there is a really big issue I am fighting right now to manage.

My brother warned me to forget about any girl I have here in Nigeria, that most of them are fair weather friends, gold diggers and desperados, and that if I have anybody here in Nigeria waiting for me while I am away, that it will be a huge distraction for me. He told me he is speaking out of experience and won't want anybody to distract me while studying and hustling abroad. My girl is definitely none of what he described, she is a very good person and is never after money, She just love so much. I told him that I don't have anybody, This is to avoid him withdrawing his financial support for me or may be doubting my seriousness to succeed.

I was planning to come back and get married to my baby after my MSc, but I don't know how my brother will see it. He will be so disappointed with me, I hold my brother in so much high regard, and right from when I was a child he usually protects me so well and doesn't want anything to hamper my success, I love my girl so much, she is everything you will want in any woman. If I don't marry her I don't think I will be happy with anyone else. None of them is aware of what is bothering. How will I solve this issue.

bellezza:
Hello,
I usually hardly drop comments, but because I did my masters in Canada, i think I can drop my little piece of advice.
First, you should be thankful you have someone you are sure of.
While doing your masters you can actually bring her over as your spouse and she will get a working permit while you study and work at the same time.
Or if you don't want to do that, you can finish apply for a permanent residence and bring her over. PhD - is not advisable here, because you will end up teaching except it's what you want, employers here are more concerned with what you can do than lofty degrees.
I say these things because there are many guys who seriously search for ladies here, except you want to settle for a white lady, or other African nationalities, or a nigerian who hardly know. Most men and ladies still go back home to marry people they knew.
Well it's up to you. And all the best and congrats

Billyonaire:


There is no option there. There is no choice to be made. You cant let down that girl. In fact you must marry her. Then you cant stop Education. But you can learn to lie from Lai Mohammed, and tell your brother you have no girl friend. After your MSc, get the girl into Canada via any means, and proceed with your life. At MSc, your brother has done enough for you already. Except you wanna remain a baby and depend on him for advices, permissions on your personal life and ofcourse some soup.

soberdrunk:
Your future is more important so i will advice you chase your dreams, meanwhile you need a responsible young man to look after 'your love' when you are away so she wont be lonely, i can be that man.

ImaIma1:
Even if your brother is helping so much, you do not have to give him full access to your life. If you truly love your girl as you said, continue dating her but keep that detail from your brother. He does not need to know everything. When you are ready to marry her, i don't see any reason why he should have any objection. And if he is disappointed, he will get over it. It is your life.
If you leave her now and then after some years you are ready to settle down, how sure are you of finding a suitable spouse over there.

ImaIma1:
Even if your brother is helping so much, you do not have to give him full access to your life. If you truly love your girl as you said, continue dating her but keep that detail from your brother. He does not need to know everything. When you are ready to marry her, i don't see any reason why he should have any objection. And if he is disappointed, he will get over it. It is your life.
If you leave her now and then after some years you are ready to settle down, how sure are you of finding a suitable spouse over there.

tosyne2much:
So you go fit dey comb her shebi?

IamAirforce1:
Make I hear sey I no collect my visa first then bring the girl over later.