In a dilemma right now, please those experienced in these kind of issues should help me.

I lost my Job at the Nigerian Breweries Last year, While I was working I made up my mind to marry my girlfriend of about 4 years now, this December. Both of us are 30 already, we are so much in love, but my job lost really hampered our marriage plans, because she is just engaged in the Npower scheme now and my cash that I saved have long almost finished right now. The reason I did not go into business with the little money I have at that time about 400k was that My elder brother in Canada promised to send me to Canada to join there. So far he have helped me secure admission for MSc. and payed my full tuition fee and even credited my account for the maintenance which the visa officers will see in my account. He also has the plans of sponsoring me through PHD also in Canada or the UK if I want. Now as I await my Visa, there is a really big issue I am fighting right now to manage.

My brother warned me to forget about any girl I have here in Nigeria, that most of them are fair weather friends, gold diggers and desperados, and that if I have anybody here in Nigeria waiting for me while I am away, that it will be a huge distraction for me. He told me he is speaking out of experience and won't want anybody to distract me while studying and hustling abroad. My girl is definitely none of what he described, she is a very good person and is never after money, She just love so much. I told him that I don't have anybody, This is to avoid him withdrawing his financial support for me or may be doubting my seriousness to succeed.

I was planning to come back and get married to my baby after my MSc, but I don't know how my brother will see it. He will be so disappointed with me, I hold my brother in so much high regard, and right from when I was a child he usually protects me so well and doesn't want anything to hamper my success, I love my girl so much, she is everything you will want in any woman. If I don't marry her I don't think I will be happy with anyone else. None of them is aware of what is bothering. How will I solve this issue.

This one pass me o, I've never been in love and you are so deep in that shii, I've got nothing to say.

but

Is your babe aware of your travel plans?

I have been in love before so I know how you feel.

But your brother may have a point. My very close cousin was in ur shoes one time, due to inability to find job his elder sis try sending him to Ukraine for MSc, he had a girl he has been dating for 8 yrs, when he told her of the travel plans she cried n cried that he was going to leave her after all they have been through, told tried convincing her that he wont do such, he even called her mum and told her he was ready to bring drinks to her family indicating he wants to marry her. She still did not believe him, this my guy sabotaged his visa runs so that he wont travel again cos he did not know how to tell his sis he's no more going (because of his girl). He confided in me on this, I almost broke bottle on his head. To cut the long story short he is still searching for a decent job as I type this and guess what his girl has left him last year because, in her words "I need a better provider" .
My cousin almost took his life when this happened.

So, Op am not saying all ladies are the same but use your head and not ur heart in this situation. When u make the money women in all shapes n sizes, the very good ones and very bad ones will flock around you but if u are broke.. well.

brb

Ok

SuperSuave:
This one pass me o, I've never been in love and you are so deep in that shii, I've got nothing to say.

but

Is your babe aware of your travel plans?

She is, she was skeptical at first, but after telling her that it will mean a better life for us she reluctantly agreed to it.

Drinkwater07:
In a dilemma right now, please those experienced in these kind of issues should help me.

I lost my Job at the Nigerian Breweries Last year, While I was working I made up my mind to marry my girlfriend of about 4 years now, this December. Both of us are 30 already, we are so much in love, but my job lost really hampered our marriage plans, because she is just engaged in the Npower scheme now and my cash that I saved have long almost finished right now. The reason I did not go into business with the little money I have at that time about 400k was that My elder brother in Canada promised to send me to Canada to join there. So far he have helped me secure admission for MSc. and payed my full tuition fee and even credited my account for the maintenance which the visa officers will see in my account. He also has the plans of sponsoring me through PHD also in Canada or the UK if I want. Now as I await my Visa, there is a really big issue I am fighting right now to manage.

My brother warned me to forget about any girl I have here in Nigeria, that most of them are fair weather friends, gold diggers and desperados, and that if I have anybody here in Nigeria waiting for me while I am away, that it will be a huge distraction for me. He told me he is speaking out of experience and won't want anybody to distract me while studying and hustling abroad. My girl is definitely none of what he described, she is a very good person and is never after money, She just love so much. I told him that I don't have anybody, This is to avoid him withdrawing his financial support for me or may be doubting my seriousness to succeed.

I was planning to come back and get married to my baby after my MSc, but I don't know how my brother will see it. He will be so disappointed with me, I hold my brother in so much high regard, and right from when I was a child he usually protects me so well and doesn't want anything to hamper my success, I love my girl so much, she is everything you will want in any woman. If I don't marry her I don't think I will be happy with anyone else. None of them is aware of what is bothering. How will I solve this issue.

There is no option there. There is no choice to be made. You cant let down that girl. In fact you must marry her. Then you cant stop Education. But you can learn to lie from Lai Mohammed, and tell your brother you have no girl friend. After your MSc, get the girl into Canada via any means, and proceed with your life. At MSc, your brother has done enough for you already. Except you wanna remain a baby and depend on him for advices, permissions on your personal life and ofcourse some soup.

Drinkwater07:


She is, she was skeptical at first, but after telling that it will mean a better life for us she reluctantly agreed to it.

I don't know you or your girl but one thing I know is change is constant, be it attitudinal or something else and no one should be trusted 100% as long as they're human.

It will do the both of you real good if you guys can just handle the heartbreak of breaking up before you travel than unsettling yourself over there while your girl makes out with another man (probably as back up plan) or she being faithful to you while you exploit over there.

If you decide to still be in the relationship, your love for each other will definitely wax cold as time goes on I believe due to the distance barrier. You'll be tempted to go after other beauties while she will be constantly disturbed by various suitors too which will make her indecisive as age is no longer on her side I believe.

The ball is in your court bro, I wish you best of luck in your endeavor.

This is a real dilemma for you, I wish I can help you just that I haven't had such experience before. Lalasticlala please help this man push this topic to front page.

Nawaoo , just follow your heart bro

Brother better go and secure your future and leave love one side.
If you stay and end up broke here, your so called girl will sooner or later get disillusioned with life with you.
You are saying this now because of fear of what the future holds.
I can assure you that your relationship is over the moment you hop on that plane.
When you broaden your horizon abroad.
You will either move on or she will.
This is real life and in this digital age.
Absence doesn't make the heart fonder, it make the heart find it easier to move on

Your brother made a huge point and i must say, he wants absolutely the best for you. Wow such a caring elder brother.

You stated for a fact that your girlfriend ( wife to be if all had been smooth for you) is free from all the negative features of a 'Nigerian' girl your brother was
talking about. I want to believe that this is accurate.


However think of these factors in line with whatever love you both feel for eachother. Time, Distance and Attention.

The question will be , How many 'True love' situations survives when those three factors are not favoured?


In the long run your relationship (if you go ahead) will be strained so bad and filled with doubts for eachother. Is this something you can be handling while pursuing an M.Sc and possibly Ph.D ??


Is it something she can handle ? (in the long run).

Think along these points, discuss with her.

Finally I think what you both should endeavour to preserve is your friendship. Remember she's already 30, no need pretending she'd be 35 when You're done.


Dissolve the relationship , choose friendship over it and move on.


This is just my own opinion tho.
You'll have the final decision.
Best wishes

My brother from what you said your brother loves you so much thats why he is giving you that advice order so I think you should adhere to his order

Op please I need the name of your hometown and your surname so that I can go back in time to give your great grandfather condom to save we right-thinking guys from this embarrassment of a son.

What some people will kill for this one want to throw away because of love.
If your girl wishes you well, she will advise you to chase your dreams and whatever happens after that happens.

....

Many men have been in this situation and many more will be.


I won't advise anyone to terminate better opportunities because of a girl.

you need to have a serious conversation with your gf, she's 30 will she be able to wait for you bearing in mind this is going to be a long distance relationship.


The chances of her succumbing to pressures to get married are going to be high, can she bear it.

Everyone here is going to advise you to leave this girl and focus on hustling but only you know how much impact she has/had in your life. only you know the pains you will go through you without her

4 Years is no child's play, can you know a girl as much as you know your gf Now, and by the time you make it so many female are gonna be attracted to you only because of wealth

mehn op I feel for you. Just roll a joint, smoke and relax

Your future is more important so i will advice you chase your dreams, meanwhile you need a responsible young man to look after 'your love' when you are away so she wont be lonely, i can be that man.

who love don epp

Safe journey

If love can't contain your pursuit For your future Then it's not worth the stress!
Most guys make mistake of putting emotions above all...

Focus on your future! That's paramount! Wish u blessings and breakthrough

lomprico:
I have been in love before so I know how you feel.

But your brother may have a point. My very close cousin was in ur shoes one time, due to inability to find job his elder sis try sending him to Ukraine for MSc, he had a girl he has been dating for 8 yrs, when he told her of the travel plans she cried n cried that he was going to leave her after all they have been through, told tried convincing her that he wont do such, he even called her mum and told her he was ready to bring drinks to her family indicating he wants to marry her. She still did not believe him, this my guy sabotaged his visa runs so that he wont travel again cos he did not know how to tell his sis he's no more going (because of his girl). He confided in me on this, I almost broke bottle on his head. To cut the long story short he is still searching for a decent job as I type this and guess what his girl has left him last year because, in her words "I need a better provider" .
My cousin almost took his life when this happened.

So, Op am not saying all ladies are the same but use your head and not ur heart in this situation. When u make the money women in all shapes n sizes, the very good ones and very bad ones will flock around you but if u are broke.. well.

why did you not break that bottle on his head?

Follow your head and not your heart

Look leave her for now an explain all in detail let her u derstand
A good lady will understand and support you if you are serious

Then once settled in Canada or wherever you can send for her ..that way you send for her as a spouse .. or you go back home marry her and the process is much quicker
Look this can be done within a year or two .. if both of you still feel the same way by the time you are settled then it's happy days

Never ever put your heart in someone you are NOT YET married to
Your future and security should come first

.

ref

You for collect visa first bros.

G

...Bros please go with a promise to come back and married her, forget if she cheat on you and let her also remove the possibility of you not cheating from her mind. If you get to Canada and you are able to stand on ur ground then you invite her over/u come down to Nigeria do ur marriage and travel with her dt is if she is still available for u and if u ursef have not find someone else,but I believe ur brother av reason he said u Shu let go of any relationship.

You may not kno d reason but he knows better, I think he knows immediately u step out of this country u will see things from different perspective,so what do u do? Bros I will advice you go without thinking of love for now cos love won't put food on ur table, yes go if u go there and both of u are still in good terms fine, if not move with ur life don't feel bad rather if she is not k and u are richer tomorrow u can still help her.

Best break up with her before you leave...