@ poster
you claim to be very pretty. Can you kindly post a picture? Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

.....

avoid him for like a week or two,i mean total avoidance no calls bar his line,then closely monitor his reactions if u are still confused then serve him with the ultimatum and be prepared for the worst.after this u will not need a second person to tell u what to do.best of lucks!

its always like that, just have to take it easy.

most guys want to always eat their cake nd av it at once. its very possible he loves u nd is still communicatn with his ex.
please give him some more time.if he doesn't change. walk away.

If you love him, do all you can to hold him.

i agree wit the tots of many on this topic.i hv a similiar experience wit my ex.i cldnt love another for a long time.i made up my mind one day to completely forget abt her and love  someone else.i did and that was hw i was able to let go of her.today am happily married to someone beautiful in form and heart.so until your boyfriend decide to completely let go of his ex, he wldnt love you completely.word.

who caressssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

as the days go by ,does he talk less about his ex?if yes then there is a tendency of getting him over her.does he show that he really loves you?
do you have the patience to stand the ex's drama when ever it starts?if the answers to all the above questions are yes then I think you guys can work things out and time will heal his pains.
if no the other hand the answers to the above questions are then think you should move on cos personally i wouldnt advice you to be your future husbands 2nd best.
dont expect to meet prince charming when you move on,everyman has his plus and minus.good luck

gurl, jos run, 4get d gjavascript:void(0);uy, he dosent deserve a faithful partner like u,

He is not over his ex

Sure they might be over, but he ain't completely over it yet. Believe moi. It might take him a while to get over her. Dude must have had some strong emotional connection to her or something.

People don't like ultimatums, but like someone advised you an ultimatum might be in order. No need to force him to choose you.
Give him the "we need to talk" speech. Let him know where you stand, and if things cannot change you should move on.

If you are having this much stress b4 marriage, then I would say yes. You dont need to patch any relationship. Face it squarely. If he cant change now, he would never change after marriage. If he still puts her pictures in his laptop, have secret conversations with her and talks about her, he is mos def not over her and is just using you to fill a void. most likely se.x. He is still in love with her and is still trying to get her back. Move on girl. You dont need this.

Shanice111, baby girl be wise about it. Talk to him; like have a SERIOUS sit down with him. I'm not trying to change how you feel about him but this sounds like a rebound relationship hun. No need to feel victimized, take control and have a dialogue. Don't accuse, and dont make irration decisions such as accept th engagement or completely blow him off, instead try to understand one another and get to the bottom of it. The human heart is but an organ that can be replaced but our emotions, the feelings in our gut are VERY real and as humans we deal with situations differently. Take care. I wish you all the best. Don't worry about trying to compete with his ex, you are the lady right now so talk to your man  .

much have been said, my sincere advice is,tell him what u want (to delete d ex pics and stop answer her) and state d consequence of his action. by doing this u will know what to do next. DONT DOUBLE DATE, U MIGHT END UP LOSING BOTH. believe on God for d best,

Many thanks for all the replies I really do appreciate as my heart was burdened. I have thought very seriously about the spare thing as I actually do have someone else who is so eager to call me his. I have never cheated on anyone in my life and I don't want to God willing. I have met his family he has met mine thats the hope I have in this relationship but I would get a back up, I wont be intimate with the person but it has become necessary!!!

Well if u feel like he's treating u as 2nd best and u don't like it then y contemplate of doing same to someone else. In my opinion that is not fair.
U really need to try and learn to feel secure in ur relationship. It may take sometime for some people to be completely healed of their former relationship. So u might need to give him some time and also discuss the issue with him. Communicating with him might just be the only magic u need to turn things around because he may never know how u feel regarding the whole issue unless u let him know. Goodluck.

Shanice111:

My boyfriend and I have had series of issues because of the hurt he suffered from his ex girlfriend. We have gone over the issue over and over again and I have watched him feel very sad whenever he remembers his experience with her. He has never told me the cause of their break up as he says its not important that one day he will tell me. He claims to love me but still keeps pictures of this lady on his laptop. My pictures are there as well but I don't know why he hasn't deleted pictures he took four years ago!!!

I used to feel very jealous anytime he brought up her issue in a conversation but these days I am indifferent. He has been having some secret calls and I suspect they still communicate. He claims to love me and has even proposed marriage (No rings yet though) but I do not want to be anyone's second best. I have asked him to go back to her if he still loves her but he says its me he wants. He says she has moved on and is dating someone else. I am really confused as I am very pretty still get admired daily. I don't want to marry the wrong man? Somebody please advise me on what to do as I love this guy but am losing patience because of this ex insecurity!!!!!

how do u know u are pretty? kindly put up a pic for me to analyze

Trust me, it wont take long before he realizes he could take his ex-back.
But gurl, free the guy and move on,life is too short jor

na2day?:

how do u know u are pretty? kindly put up a pic for me to analyze

HEHE, Inspector Na2day

ravenzord:

HEHE, Inspector Na2day

i just dey do my civil duty to the world ooo

@ Poster, i dont think u would love 2 b with d wrong person 4 life. II think for starters, see urself as d madam, n as being d madam, u have a right to do anyth with respect to your r/ship. so madam confirm ur capacity now, delete d pictures n her number on his phone. What ever happens thereafter wld give u a clearer picture of where u stand.

adaphik:

@ Poster, i dont think u would love 2 b with d wrong person 4 life. II think for starters, see urself as d madam, n as being d madam, u have a right to do anyth with respect to your r/ship. so madam confirm your capacity now, delete d pictures n her number on his phone. What ever happens thereafter wld give u a clearer picture of where u stand.

so ur plan is to make her have a fight with her bf and then lose him so that u can go in?

& by the way, he isnt d only dude on earth.  You deserve a better treatment girl.     If he isnt ready to behave striaght, act like u no longer give a hoot, & see his response. From there u make ur decision. @ na2day, i no fit go through wetin she dey go through. A fight would be uncalled for.

adaphik:

& by the way, he isnt d only dude on earth.  You deserve a better treatment girl.     If he isnt ready to behave striaght, act like u no longer give a hoot, & see his response. From there u make your decision. @ na2day, i no fit go through wetin she dey go through. A fight would be uncalled for.

are u in PH for real?

na2day?:

i just dey do my civil duty to the world ooo

Chai Oga na2day?, your username just make me laff well well for here o

comechop:


Chai Oga na2day?, your username just make me laff well well for here o

bros, u own sef carry weight

.

Bah

It hurts when someone we loves doesn't love us back, this guys' heart belongs to someone else, he is using you to overcome his heartbreak and i bet you once the girl comes back he will rush back into her arms bcs thats where his hrt belong. IF this guy really loves you enough as he claimed , your being into his life would have allays  his pains,and make him to forget his Ex, but it doesn't. Remember that most pple rush into another relationship immediately they broke up just to heal their wounds.

For me, don't delete the pics of his EX, it is not the solution, bcs if u delete her pics from his Laptop, will you also delete her from his heart & Mind?. Please sit him down , Tell him that you need  a break in the relationship, make sure you tell him d reason for the break, during this period tell  him to go and think and conclude on  whom he wants, if he calls you back give him your conditions. [/color]

Dnt call it off.

Lyk d 1st reply, an ultimatum will do the work

Sit him down and talk sense into his brain
Let him tell u d reason why dey broke and
also query him about the secret call.

Dnt 4get, its ur life and once u r married,
its final. So it berra 2 av a break relationship
than a marriage of Mr n Mrs Bill

SHALOM

Shanice111: i think the best thing u can do now is to know how important u r to him. no second fiddle. tell him hw u feel and give him a definite stand. what do u really want yourself. The best advise is the one u give your self.