Mentcee:


May Jehovah bless you.

Amin

[quote author=Zeze06 post=60571385]

I understand this feeling... , if your father is old, please be careful not to hurt him, just follow him gently, you can even lie sometimes, just so you don't break his heart...

Elderly people sometimes do take things a little too seriously..
I would give anything to have my dad here to ask me any kind of questions in this world...[/quote
You don't have to lie to him.... It's worse... Rather tell him the truth always but be gentle even the Bible says
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)
And OP you don't have to change your contact now that you've made your stance clear to him... Just give him time, he will come around... But the hard truth is that if you can go to work in that weather then you don't have an excuse not to go church

DIKEnaWAR:
Deeper life, watchman, Chosen etc etc are overflowing with extremists. If you leave them, they will start Christian Jihad on those whose ways don't align with theirs.

The man is your father. Handle him with love. How do you do that. He deserves to be lied to, big time. Tell him that you sleep in church so he can leave you alone. Thank God you are not even in Nigeria.

Who frequents churches these days if not some desperados for quick wealth and husband.

Yea I said it! Come for me!!

even if you have everything, u still need Jesus in ur life because there are things ur money cannot buy but only Jesus can give u. Bible says what shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his own soul to hell fire. U need Jesus to be able to overcome power of enemy so that you can enjoy peace

Op quickly unblock your father. God forbid, if he passes to the great beyond now, you will forever regret your actions.

While I believe your father was engaging in overparenting, I think you don't need to be too harsh on him. Always remember that he will not be around forever.

He has advised you on the path he thinks you should follow but you have your life to live. You can exercise your discretions without being antagonistic towards the old man.

Parents keep seeing their children, even when grown up, as babies!

Op whatever dad tells you just tell him you'll change
Peace is always better that being right

UfuomaUN:


Sounds a lot like "father" in Chimamnda's purple habiscus

But ( In Tyrion's voice) did you ever consider lying. It's a vital social skill you know. Lying would have saved you the relationship with your father at least

My mind even took it a mile further by seeing the rhyming resemblance between Beverly and Kambili.

We attach too much importance to family and family members. Family is not the strongest unit or the most important thing in life, or any of those many aphoristic statements we have coined in honour of it. Those aphorisms are just one of those many lies we tell ourselves–lies which from constant repetition often is taken as a universal truth. Wasn't it Lenin who said a lie told often enough eventually becomes the truth?

Mind you, we don't get to choose our families (it's a biological luck of the draw), but we are sentiently and actively involved in the selection process of our friends. And trust me, a good and loyal friend that you've handpicked by yourself is worth more than a bad family that you did not choose.

Parents are not gods, and they don't own their childrens. It's worse in Africa when certain parents think they can lord it over their children even into adulthood–dictating when and what sort of man or woman they should marry, the time they should have kids (even when couples decide to put off childbearing), and so on and so forth. We should also stop guilting children with the "Honor thy father and mother" shibboleth even at moments when parents are being irrational in their demands. It's psychological vivisection and emotional manipulation and nothing more.

If your father chooses to be irrational with his scripturalism and religious fanaticism, you are within your rights to cut ties with him, especially if you have warned him to desist from such and yet he insists on becoming a thorn in your flesh. I wouldn't want such a disease to pollute the minds of my children anyway.

MrHighSea:
lol. Chairman, I hail.o

Na me hail u pass o babagba

Op, you have no case.

If you were not to cut him off, will you be communicating with him every day? I believe not, so what is the fuss about? You are not in Nigeria for crying out loud. You already know your father, nothing should come to you as a surprise.

One day, you will miss him for these very same questions and attitude.
Learn to answer him with diplomacy.

Father: Did you go to Church?
You: No daddy, though I wanted to but was not feeling fine. please remember me in your prayers.

Father: How many times did you go to Church in the last two months?
You: I think I miss going to Church just once or twice, please keep praying for us.

Father: Did you go to Church last Sunday?
You: Haa!!!, thank God you asked Daddy. I just remember what the Pastor mentioned during one of his preaching that I meant to ask you to confirm if the Pastor is right. The Pastor said Paul Apostle is the greatest of all the Apostles, even greater than Peter. Do you agree with the Pastor?

Ask him spiritual question that is neither here nor there. By the time he is done explaining, he will feel better that his son is spiritually active.
Don't antagonize/fight his person, you cannot change him. Accept him the way he is and you will find it easier to relate with him cordially.

Always remember you too will soon grow old, if your son cuts you off because you both don't agree on an issue will you be happy?
Be the first to call him, that is what is called tolerance.

Well he's my father and the best thing that has happened to me....and by God's grace I've not disappointed him in anyway, not even as a growing teenager living daily on Lagos street with all these peer pressure and socializing.We all know the pressure and what young kids do... Glad he brought us up to be responsible and Christians....I'm so proud of him except for being an extremist. What I did was to de-escalates his domineering attitude and to now see us as adults and not treat us d same way he did 10yrs ago.....I did it for myself and for my siblings....who are constantly complaining about his attitude.

I love him more than anybody here could imagine, he's a man I would cross d ocean for trust me.....
And as for my wife, I don't think I've done anything that should bring her into this,I think this is more of a family ish. she's not African but love my father even more than she love her own father ever since they met. She wished I'd lied to him just to make peace...and even though she's not happy with my decisions she still understands and feels I did d right thing...even if it's only for 1month for him to get the message.

Handle him with love..you don't have to cut ties with him..besides he is concerned about your spiritual life..which i don't see any thing wrong in that. I know the over reaction from him could be annoying, but just stomach it. He means well for you..

Beverly1:
Hi fellow Nlanders

I was born into Catholic faith and practice till I was 12 and I enjoyed it. My parent became deeper life member while we were living apart and now a pastor in that church. I re-united with them when I was 12 and since then I've been attending the church with them and still attend Catholic occasionally....I love the preaching from the founder of deeper life as he preaches the bitter truth but I believe most other young pastor see d church "doctrine" as commandment and so must be kept 100%.....the founder of the church addressed this issue several times but NO.

18 years on since we re-united, I'm a graduate, married and living abroad but my father still forcing his believe and doctrine on me. I considered myself spiritual but not so religious. I connect with my God easily but not a 3G church guy.

He made me and my siblings antisocial and introverted simply because he believed we shouldn't be involved in any social activities even sports. I still remember being beaten for playing soccer, he believes we would be influenced badly. Watching TV was a crime especially movies.

Fast forward to yesterday he rang my wife to check on us but the first question he asked was if we attend to church. I told him it's been raining and temperature was really low....then he started lamenting asking if I won't go to work if it wasn't Sunday,complaining about the country where I can't worship God...then to get me more exasperated he asked and insisted I tell him how many time I've been to church lately and how many times I've read d bible....I told him we've been attending but he insisted on a number.

This got me so mad that I stood up for myself under a heavy breathe as I do not want to disrespect him or hangup on him.I told him I do not appreciate being asked questions like a 10 yrs old boy and at my age I should know how to live my life and what's best for me.....he got angry and said goodbye and I guess he was still on d phone but I didn't know...I just hang up.....Now I've block him from reaching me ... planning to change my numbers.....but not any financial support. Only cutting all communication with him but not with my siblings as they mean more to me and I wanna see them through as much as God help me...

Please is this not an over reaction because I loved him as he's a very responsible man who puts the family first and strived to make us who we are. But we do not av a close relationship because of his believe even though he's been forcing it.

I must tell u d truth, follow d directions ur father NW DAT he's alife because wen u luk for him nd did bt c him, it's den u will understand wat ur father is telling u. Nw u are enjoying becos he's alife absorbing ol arrows frm ol angles by d tym he will die, it will start coming straight to u. So get prepared nd do wat he wants nd excommunicating him means u excommunicating God.

JamesReacher:
Some parents are reasonable, they don't always go to the extreme . Its not a small thing according to Op

Well it may not be a small thg to him but to me its petty. Hw in d world will one severe ties jst like that. The crime no worth d punishment abeg

MY PARENTS DO THAT. GROW UP GUY. YOU NEED TO APOLOGISE TO YOUR FATHER ASAP. YOU REALLY INSULTED HIM. HOW WILL YOUR WIFE REGARD YOUR FATHER NOW?

Beverly1:
Hi fellow Nlanders

I was born into Catholic faith and practice till I was 12 and I enjoyed it. My parent became deeper life member while we were living apart and now a pastor in that church. I re-united with them when I was 12 and since then I've been attending the church with them and still attend Catholic occasionally....I love the preaching from the founder of deeper life as he preaches the bitter truth but I believe most other young pastor see d church "doctrine" as commandment and so must be kept 100%.....the founder of the church addressed this issue several times but NO.

18 years on since we re-united, I'm a graduate, married and living abroad but my father still forcing his believe and doctrine on me. I considered myself spiritual but not so religious. I connect with my God easily but not a 3G church guy.

He made me and my siblings antisocial and introverted simply because he believed we shouldn't be involved in any social activities even sports. I still remember being beaten for playing soccer, he believes we would be influenced badly. Watching TV was a crime especially movies.

Fast forward to yesterday he rang my wife to check on us but the first question he asked was if we attend to church. I told him it's been raining and temperature was really low....then he started lamenting asking if I won't go to work if it wasn't Sunday,complaining about the country where I can't worship God...then to get me more exasperated he asked and insisted I tell him how many time I've been to church lately and how many times I've read d bible....I told him we've been attending but he insisted on a number.

This got me so mad that I stood up for myself under a heavy breathe as I do not want to disrespect him or hangup on him.I told him I do not appreciate being asked questions like a 10 yrs old boy and at my age I should know how to live my life and what's best for me.....he got angry and said goodbye and I guess he was still on d phone but I didn't know...I just hang up.....Now I've block him from reaching me ... planning to change my numbers.....but not any financial support. Only cutting all communication with him but not with my siblings as they mean more to me and I wanna see them through as much as God help me...

Please is this not an over reaction because I loved him as he's a very responsible man who puts the family first and strived to make us who we are. But we do not av a close relationship because of his believe even though he's been forcing it.

Sometimes u need to take some hard decision and stands by it

Missonas:


Well it may not be a small thg to him but to me its petty. Hw in d world will one severe ties jst like that. The crime no worth d punishment abeg

u may not understand unless it happens to u. I'm married, but my dad still want to run d show for me. Each time I'm travelling,he insists I get his approval first. He want to decide when I leave home and returns. I severed d tie some four months ago

Bro we are in the same shoes , mine was that l got engage to a non deeper life lady and he seized communication with me. This art cause the family to loss some good millions, where my professional advice would have help, but after that l still have to travel done to make peace and make my stand known to him and mum. So mine advice is not to seize communication with him because he is ur father and has been interceding for ur well being and progress, u ow him that patient', love and respect. �

His intention was not to hurt you but to make sure that you have not abandoned God. He was trying to make sure you don't chase life and forget about God.

Bringing ur family matter on social media shows that u are immature. That's d bitter truth

OlivetBen:
Bringing ur family matter on social media shows that u are immature. That's d bittert truth

that's true sir, and reading about people's family matters and commenting on it shows we ain't different in anyway...or is it Ur family we're talking about?. .
#alayonuso

Beverly1:
Hi fellow Nlanders

I was born into Catholic faith and practice till I was 12 and I enjoyed it. My parent became deeper life member while we were living apart and now a pastor in that church. I re-united with them when I was 12 and since then I've been attending the church with them and still attend Catholic occasionally....I love the preaching from the founder of deeper life as he preaches the bitter truth but I believe most other young pastor see d church "doctrine" as commandment and so must be kept 100%.....the founder of the church addressed this issue several times but NO.

18 years on since we re-united, I'm a graduate, married and living abroad but my father still forcing his believe and doctrine on me. I considered myself spiritual but not so religious. I connect with my God easily but not a 3G church guy.

He made me and my siblings antisocial and introverted simply because he believed we shouldn't be involved in any social activities even sports. I still remember being beaten for playing soccer, he believes we would be influenced badly. Watching TV was a crime especially movies.

Fast forward to yesterday he rang my wife to check on us but the first question he asked was if we attend to church. I told him it's been raining and temperature was really low....then he started lamenting asking if I won't go to work if it wasn't Sunday,complaining about the country where I can't worship God...then to get me more exasperated he asked and insisted I tell him how many time I've been to church lately and how many times I've read d bible....I told him we've been attending but he insisted on a number.

This got me so mad that I stood up for myself under a heavy breathe as I do not want to disrespect him or hangup on him.I told him I do not appreciate being asked questions like a 10 yrs old boy and at my age I should know how to live my life and what's best for me.....he got angry and said goodbye and I guess he was still on d phone but I didn't know...I just hang up.....Now I've block him from reaching me ... planning to change my numbers.....but not any financial support. Only cutting all communication with him but not with my siblings as they mean more to me and I wanna see them through as much as God help me...

Please is this not an over reaction because I loved him as he's a very responsible man who puts the family first and strived to make us who we are. But we do not av a close relationship because of his believe even though he's been forcing it.

no matter how grown u think u be become, your parents still see u are a child they must stand to protect his well being and one of this is your spiritual well being and fortunately for you, your father happens to be a doctor in that regard. it is a normal thing to fill the way u felt but the way u handle ur feelings is the difference others who feels the same under this circumstance.
though u have passed a message and I believe he has understand that u aren't getting younger but I don't want u to wait for his call. call your dad and tell him u are sorry the way u reacted. believe me, that won't make him to think u are still the same small boy but a matured man who now know when to fight and when to retreat.

Beverly1:
Hi fellow Nlanders

I was born into Catholic faith and practice till I was 12 and I enjoyed it. My parent became deeper life member while we were living apart and now a pastor in that church. I re-united with them when I was 12 and since then I've been attending the church with them and still attend Catholic occasionally....I love the preaching from the founder of deeper life as he preaches the bitter truth but I believe most other young pastor see d church "doctrine" as commandment and so must be kept 100%.....the founder of the church addressed this issue several times but NO.

18 years on since we re-united, I'm a graduate, married and living abroad but my father still forcing his believe and doctrine on me. I considered myself spiritual but not so religious. I connect with my God easily but not a 3G church guy.

He made me and my siblings antisocial and introverted simply because he believed we shouldn't be involved in any social activities even sports. I still remember being beaten for playing soccer, he believes we would be influenced badly. Watching TV was a crime especially movies.

Fast forward to yesterday he rang my wife to check on us but the first question he asked was if we attend to church. I told him it's been raining and temperature was really low....then he started lamenting asking if I won't go to work if it wasn't Sunday,complaining about the country where I can't worship God...then to get me more exasperated he asked and insisted I tell him how many time I've been to church lately and how many times I've read d bible....I told him we've been attending but he insisted on a number.

This got me so mad that I stood up for myself under a heavy breathe as I do not want to disrespect him or hangup on him.I told him I do not appreciate being asked questions like a 10 yrs old boy and at my age I should know how to live my life and what's best for me.....he got angry and said goodbye and I guess he was still on d phone but I didn't know...I just hang up.....Now I've block him from reaching me ... planning to change my numbers.....but not any financial support. Only cutting all communication with him but not with my siblings as they mean more to me and I wanna see them through as much as God help me...

Please is this not an over reaction because I loved him as he's a very responsible man who puts the family first and strived to make us who we are. But we do not av a close relationship because of his believe even though he's been forcing it.

Make your father a friend. That is the only best way of communication he can do with you. You have to play along with him. Sweet talk him. He s old, he wants to still be able to talk to you. Let go off your gaurd of feeling embarrassed. Just be his friend. Make him understand. Ask him how his ministry is going. See where he needs help financially.

Zeze06:


I understand this feeling... , if your father is old, please be careful not to hurt him, just follow him gently, you can even lie sometimes, just so you don't break his heart...

Elderly people sometimes do take things a little too seriously..
I would give anything to have my dad here to ask me any kind of questions in this world...

Same here

hotspec:
u may not understand unless it happens to u. I'm married, but my dad still want to run d show for me. Each time I'm travelling,he insists I get his approval first. He want to decide when I leave home and returns. I severed d tie some four months ago

Serious? Y'all stiĺl doing d teenage drills? Ok nw dats absurd but i still insist that there are ways to put ur feet on d ground without going to d extent of cutting dem folks off completely. Hes probably all up ur case cos in d past u indulged him

Beverly1:
Hi fellow Nlanders

I was born into Catholic faith and practice till I was 12 and I enjoyed it. My parent became deeper life member while we were living apart and now a pastor in that church. I re-united with them when I was 12 and since then I've been attending the church with them and still attend Catholic occasionally....I love the preaching from the founder of deeper life as he preaches the bitter truth but I believe most other young pastor see d church "doctrine" as commandment and so must be kept 100%.....the founder of the church addressed this issue several times but NO.

18 years on since we re-united, I'm a graduate, married and living abroad but my father still forcing his believe and doctrine on me. I considered myself spiritual but not so religious. I connect with my God easily but not a 3G church guy.

He made me and my siblings antisocial and introverted simply because he believed we shouldn't be involved in any social activities even sports. I still remember being beaten for playing soccer, he believes we would be influenced badly. Watching TV was a crime especially movies.

Fast forward to yesterday he rang my wife to check on us but the first question he asked was if we attend to church. I told him it's been raining and temperature was really low....then he started lamenting asking if I won't go to work if it wasn't Sunday,complaining about the country where I can't worship God...then to get me more exasperated he asked and insisted I tell him how many time I've been to church lately and how many times I've read d bible....I told him we've been attending but he insisted on a number.

This got me so mad that I stood up for myself under a heavy breathe as I do not want to disrespect him or hangup on him.I told him I do not appreciate being asked questions like a 10 yrs old boy and at my age I should know how to live my life and what's best for me.....he got angry and said goodbye and I guess he was still on d phone but I didn't know...I just hang up.....Now I've block him from reaching me ... planning to change my numbers.....but not any financial support. Only cutting all communication with him but not with my siblings as they mean more to me and I wanna see them through as much as God help me...

Please is this not an over reaction because I loved him as he's a very responsible man who puts the family first and strived to make us who we are. But we do not av a close relationship because of his believe even though he's been forcing it.

Good evening bro! I perfectly understand your plight, I was born in deeper life and I understand how parents can be, although in my case my dad is a gentle man but my mum happens to be the stricter one, they always call me cos m in the University to ask if I attend services and i answer in the affirmative e'en tho i fellowship with living Faith church in school but to avoid troubles... I jes have to say yes,
the fact is that your parents would take this serious and might be insinuating devil, satan etc (typical of d'lifers)... but I wish you the best... yes cut the ties but not with hatred sha! but with the intention of hoping that the Spirit of God speaks to them to come to full realization that times have changed and nobody can be forced to practice anything.
I Sincerely hope that this Tussle between parents and children on this difference in perception of worship will End soon as I don't believe that family ties should be cut over religion.. Jesus wouldn't want that.. I pray Pastor Kumuyi receives this insight so that everyone can be happy!
God bless you bro

Missonas:


Serious? Y'all stiĺl doing d teenage drills? Ok nw dats absurd but i still insist that there are ways to put ur feet on d ground without going to d extent of cutting dem folks off completely. Hes probably all up ur case cos in d past u indulged him

teenage drills? Personal experience is the best teacher. Wait till u experience it personally.

Beverly1:
Hi fellow Nlanders

I as much as God help me...

Please is this not an over reaction because I loved him as he's a very responsible man who puts the family first and strived to make us who we are. But we do not av a close relationship because of his believe even though he's been forcing it.

This is quite sad.


U are matured enough to understand the hardship He went through to make U who U are today.


U understand the trials a man face to take good care of his family.


Yet U opened your mouth to spill trash at the greatest man in your life Simply because He made an attempt to help U build a good Christian home.


No problem. sit back & raise your children to be good moralist & half baked Christians. You will dance to the music when they come of age.

teemanbastos:
Good evening bro! I perfectly understand your plight, I was born in deeper life and I understand how parents can be, although in my case my dad is a gentle man but my mum happens to be the stricter one, they always call me cos m in the University to ask if I attend services and i answer in the affirmative e'en tho i fellowship with living Faith church in school but to avoid troubles... I jes have to say yes,
the fact is that your parents would take this serious and might be insinuating devil, satan etc (typical of d'lifers)... but I wish you the best... yes cut the ties but not with hatred sha! but with the intention of hoping that the Spirit of God speaks to them to come to full realization that times have changed and nobody can be forced to practice anything.

I amazed at the fact that you can use "cut the ties" & "Spirit of God" in the same paragraph.


U are conveniently lying to your parents in your bid to go to a church that is pleasing to your mind.


SMH



your case is different.

Hello Op, it's about 1:48am I finished reading all the comments here about your incident with your father.
Thank you very much for been a good son to him
Before I will advise you let me tell a little bit about my self I lost my dad last year but before he died he called me to come and see him thank God I reconcile him back to God before my father died when I traveled to see him I was told they took my father to herbalist house to seek spiritual help after trying different hospital to help me but thank God I prayed for my father and he accepted Jesus Christ as Lord before he died.
Now my advice to you is just go ahead and cut ties with your father because that is what you want to hear now you want people to advice
Don't forget this man has been disturbing God about your progress in life and God has been granting him his request concerning you
For you to serve God now becomes your problem please choose whom you will serve this day
In fact don't go to church again or read your bible
Do whatever that pleases you that you think it's the best and also teach your children to do it the way it pleases them too
Your father will not die now if that is what you think
But the day God will remove his covering over you and allow devil to go after you don't call on God
People like you hate the truth but Jesus still loves you
I wish my parent know God before God call me to ministry things will have been more better
Very soon watch the move of God over your life
If you love yourself do what your father ask you to do but if not trouble is looming
In Gen 18, God said "I know Abraham for he will command his home
That's exactly what your father is doing he want to see you go to heaven and ensure you enjoy the best in life but you want it your own way no Problem my brother go ahead you have our permission I will not beg
Because very soon God will visit you and need you in the ministry because I can perceive calling in your life
Don't forget everything in life are in two ways
There is morning and there is night there is heaven there hell fire there light and darkness etc
A word is enough for the wise
Choose wisely
Jesus still loves you
2 Timothy 4:3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears;
2 Corinthians 4:4 In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.
2 Timothy 3:1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
2 Timothy 3:2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
All the best My brother

Bro, am also in d same situation. He even told me that if I don't attend deeper life in skul dat he ll stop paying my skul fees and given me pocket money... . I Call him and told him point blank dat no problem. Dat i don join worker 4 redeem church he was not even happy slf. I jxt stop talking to him. now my mum pay all d moni nd she said make i jxt move closer to God.

[quote author=pastorsmiling post=60602571]

Thank u for ur words.
This and every other comments really touch my heart. And whatever u feel about me is mere perception. I'm not who u described and I will never have glory in myself. If u know me, u will see how vague this world seems to me. I live everyday as if I'm gonna die tomorrow and that's why lieing to him didn't even come to my mind. Why will I sin against God just to please men? That's wisdom of the world...

My father intercedes for the family daily and I know I'm a beneficiary of the grace that comes through him. BUT i want u to remember that by grace are we saved, let nobody boast of himself....u can't force anybody to be save. That's God's work....u can't relate if u haven't been in my shoe....I can't explain all here, so many threats about withdrawing his financial support when I was an undergraduate,disowning me.....e.t.c all because of his believe. He jeopardize my chance of moving to Germany as a teenager just because he believed by not being an extremist, I wasn't born again.

Im gonna unblock him but at least I've said my mind and I hope he gets d message......but remember God is merciful and not as harsh as u described him. ..what sort of love is this? That even while we were sinners, he died for us....that's simply the mercy on human kind and he also said he will have mercy on whom he will have mercy upon. He's my father and my intercessor but not my God....If God says yes, nobody can say No.

Thanks all