Please is it derogatory to say this to someone? If yes, can you give reason(s) as to why this qualifies as offensive? I have come across loads of post on social media where people make a fuss out of this, particularly ladies, our feminist sisters dem. I no dey understand, you've added weight, you don chop up, to me all this are complimentary remarks.
cc: lalasticlala, mynd44

Adding weight in Nigeria is actually a sign of good living. So, when people tell yo that you've added weight, they're actually praising you.

That sentence is very derogatory and used to put people down.
If someone sees you looking finer, fresher or more shapely they will hardly comment on it but once you add a few kg everyone and their mother joins weightwatchers.com on your behalf.
I remember when I was pregnant , some people will see me and start exclaiming. You don black finish! You don worwor finish! You don fat finish! I was more than eight months pregnant o. was i expected to remain skinny?
When I gave birth the voltrons came again. You are fat, your tummy is still big, small small before you burst, etc. I was just a few months postpartum. I will change my dp on watsapp , they will start attacking me : watch your weight o. blablabla.
Now at my heaviest during pregnancy i weighed 75kg so its not like I am obese. Now I weigh 69kg and I don't even reply them anymore.
People you should never use that phrase on.
1. pregnant ladies
2. nursing mothers (our esteem is still very fragile biko, dont shatter it for us )
3. Men that just got married ( a few kg is expected to join the body mass )
4. People that have been bedridden for long
5. any f**king person at all. fact is they already know their size and your comments will do nothing for them

It is an offensive remark. It is nobody's business if you have added or lost. Nigerians use it as a form of greeting. I never comment about weight except i am asked directly.

ImaIma1:
It is an offensive remark. It is nobody's business if you have added or lost. Nigerians use it as a form of greeting. I never comment about weight except i am asked directly.

well maybe its probably not a good way to compliment a lady, I'm yet to come across. a male folk that takes offence on this. We the guyz generally, there's nothing to body shame in our body, we don't read meaning to all this things I guess that's the reason.

Facts don't care about feelings

The best way to put a smile on a lady is to tell her an exaggerated lie.

ImaIma1:
It is an offensive remark. It is nobody's business if you have added or lost. Nigerians use it as a form of greeting. I never comment about weight except i am asked directly.

But you comment about make-up painted face


Why una like lies ??

When you realise things are not always as they seem, you'll understand. You don't know what the person is going through. Some may be depressed, pregnant, she could have had a miscarriage, so many things.

I remember a friend who miscarried her pregnancy, people kept commenting how she added weight and each time it reminded her of her loss. You can tell that to a pregnant/nursing mother and she'll start starving herself.

Some people are very sensitive, I don't know their battles. So, I avoid making some comments _except I have close rapport with such a person.

It's just like asking a new mum the sex of her baby, some are very sensitive to that question.

Acidosis:


But you comment about make-up painted face

Why una like lies ??

this your comment has no correlation with the OP.

Very offensive,
It tends to make people unnecessarily self conscious,
The person already knows whether he or she has added or lost weight. Therefore your comment on the person's weight is not needed nor necessary.

Furthermore, whether the person has added or lost weight doesn't concern a soul, find better none offensive ways to compliment someone, if you feel the person is looking good, you just say that.

No need for the extra "you've added or lost weight"

Humanistme:

this your comment has no correlation with the OP.

It is not a comment sir..

Allow the lady I quoted respond to my question in peace.

Commenting about someone's gain or loss of weight can be rude especially if you are not a family member.
depending on the person's insecurities. I know someone who is on antipsychotics the adverse effect is weight gain. only those of us that are close know the reason why she is gaining weight but she can't discuss it with people that are commenting considering the way we view mental illness in this country so she deals with issues of self esteem in addition to her illness because of busybodies that won't mind their business.

Acidosis:

It is not a comment sir..

Allow the lady I quoted respond to my question in peace.

it's not worth a response so she probably won't.

Humanistme:

it's not worth a response so she probably won't.

Then leave that to me

PaperLace:
When you realise things are not always as they seem, you'll understand. You don't know what the person is going through. Some may be depressed, pregnant, she could have had a miscarriage, so many things.

I remember a friend who miscarried her pregnancy, people kept commenting how she added weight and each time it reminded her of her loss. You can tell that to a pregnant/nursing mother and she'll start starving herself.

Some people are very sensitive, I don't know their battles. So, I avoid making some comments _except I have close rapport with such a person.

It's just like asking a new mum the sex of her baby, some are very sensitive to that question.

It reminds me of a friend who's had repeated failed IVF treatment and had put on weight, and people kept asking if she was pregnant.
Very annoying, and further rubbing salt into the wound of trying to conceive

you never know what someone is going through. We’re all fighting our own battle and have our unique experiences in life. We all have ups and downs; our good days and our bad days.
So don’t judge. Say hello. Smile at someone you don’t know. Offer a hug. Offer words of encouragement. The random act of kindness could brighten someone’s day.
Most of the time, people just want to know that someone cares about them. You might turn someone’s day around with a small, but unforgettable gesture. So be kind. Always.

When someone tells you that you have added weight, the next question that comes after that depends on whether the first question is derogatory or not.

It might just be a sign of good living though. To put on weight for this Buhari government na better thing.

eyinjuege:


It reminds me of a friend who's had repeated failed IVF treatment and had put on weight, and people kept asking if she was pregnant.
Very annoying, and further rubbing salt into the wound of trying to conceive

You just reminded me of another friend!! She had to take drugs to put on weight, she was underweight to undergo the IVF procedure. That was how they were also commenting on her weight gain and asking if she was pregnant.

Her in-laws were on the other side mounting pressure on her from all angles. Their son is the sterile one. She has undergone 4 failed IUIs and 3IVF. Imagine the weight gain without success.

Acidosis:



But you comment about make-up painted face


Why una like lies ??

What has a made up face got to do with adding weight. Focus!!

Lmao!

See as everybody (of course they're all females) dey form sickness and drugs.


How about some of us that really want to gain the so called weight?

It can be tactless, you never know what someone is going through, it could be a health issue for example. Not everyone takes it as a compliment so if you aren't asked, best thing to do is to keep unsolicited opinions to yourself

Acidosis:
Lmao!


See as everybody (of course they're all females) dey form sickness and drugs.



How about some of us that really want to gain the so called weight?

Lots of Nigerians are facing one issue or the other, if you are healthy _keep kwayet and thank God.

Lots of marred women are also on birth control pills, it makes some get FAT. At different points in a married woman's life, she is either pregnant, nursing or just done with nursing.

I've rarely seen people tell that to a single lady. No one told me such when I was single. When they started telling me as a married woman, I didn't take offence, i've always liked the idea of putting on some weight and I really don't care about those things. Even though majority said it when it was totally insensitive (pregnant/nursing). Majority were men with fatter wives.

Ladies will say it's offensive while guys don't care.

nnamdibig:
Ladies will say it's offensive while guys don't care.

Guys that are overly concerned about their looks will care. If you keep telling a man he is growing pot belly _he'll care. If you tell it to a guy who has some issues resulting in the weight gain _he'll care. If you tell it to a guy whose wife is already nagging about his weight at home _he'll care.

They may not react to it like some females, but they will think about it when they get home.

nnamdibig:
Ladies will say it's offensive while guys don't care.

You speak as you know the mind of every guy out there. Is this hubris of yours not a bit irresponsible?

PaperLace:

Guys that are overly concerned about their looks will care. If you keep telling a man, he is growing pot belly _he'll care. If you tell it to a guy who has some issues resulting in the weight gain _he'll care.

They may not react to it like some females, but they will think about it when they get home.

We guys definitely do, but of course, some obsess over such things more than others. Anyone who says otherwise should look to Michael Jackson as a case study. This was a man who grew up detesting himself due to the constant cruel remarks that his father, Joe, made about his nose.

Remark to a guy that he has put on considerable weight or that he looks terribly gaunt and he will definitely turn it over in his mind especially if the remark is coming from someone whose opinion he highly values and respects. Some might even take it as earnest as a remark pointing out their balding hair. The topic of self-image is a nasty preoccupation that tends to obtrude itself on the thoughts of every human being, even when one does not wish to dwell on it. It's a reflexive habit.

Daeylar:
Very offensive,
It tends to make people unnecessarily self conscious,
The person already knows whether he or she has added or lost weight. You don't need to say so.

Furthermore, whether the person has added or lost weight doesn't concern a soul, find better none offensive ways to compliment someone, if you feel the person is looking good, you just say that.

No need for the extra "you've added or lost weight"

ibkayee:
It can be tactless, you never know what someone is going through, it could be a health issue for example. Not everyone takes it as a compliment so if you aren't asked, best thing to do is to keep unsolicited opinions to yourself

Dare I say that for every emotionally intelligent Nigerian there are 50 emotionally unintelligent Nigerians.

PaperLace:


Lots of Nigerians are facing one issue or the other, if you are healthy _keep kwayet and thank God.

Lots of marred women are also on birth control pills, it makes some get FAT. At different points in a married woman's life, she is either pregnant, nursing or just done with nursing.

I've rarely seen people tell that to a single lady. No one told me such when I was single. When they started telling me as a married woman, I didn't take offence, i've always liked the idea of putting on some weight and I really don't care about those things. Even though majority said it when it was totally insensitive (pregnant/nursing). Majority were men with fatter wives.

It is not about being healthy or not. Nobody is 100% healthy, the average healthy human being has millions of micro-organisms and worms.

The problem here is that most women find it hard to accept their bodies. I have accepted my body and whatever anyone says about it would not be termed offensive.

I am a bit 'fair' in complexion and I have seen many women droll over dark guys... you know what? I don't give a flying fck because I like my body and I won't trade it for anything. If more women try to accept their bodies, the excessive concern and worries over this weight issue will reduce.

Next time someone tells you "you've added weight", tell them your husband wants you to add more weight. I have told my woman to add as more weight as she can get.

Acidosis:


It is not about being healthy or not. Nobody is 100% healthy, the average healthy human being has millions of micro-organisms and worms.

The problem here is that most women find it hard to accept their bodies. I have accepted my body and whatever anyone says about it would not be termed offensive.

I am a bit 'fair' in complexion and I have seen many women droll over dark guys... you know what? I don't give a flying fck because I like my body and I won't trade it for anything. If more women try to accept their bodies, the excessive concern and worries over this weight issue will reduce.

Why, you must be among those 50 emotionally unintelligent Nigerians that I made mention of in my post. This has hardly anything to do with acceptance of one's own body as you preach and more to do with proper conversational etiquettes.

Yinka Ayefele has long come to terms with his paraplegic condition, and from the little I have seen of him in his music videos I should think he feels fairly comfortable in his skin despite his fate as a cripple. Does it make any sense then if you happen upon Yinka Ayefele at some random event and the first thing you do is to cast a remark on the condition of his legs because you expect him to have accepted his body? You would agree that would indeed be a gauche and uncivilized thing to do.

It is also rather narrow-minded and unprogressively chauvinistic of you to trivialize and whittle this down to a mere gender idiosyncrasy. The issue of self-image and self-perception has an all-encompassing ontological reach that cuts across both genders.

DarkRebel69:


Why, you must be among those 50 emotionally unintelligent Nigerians that I made mention of in my post. This has hardly anything to do with acceptance of one's own body as you preach and more to do with proper conversational etiquettes.

Yinka Ayefele has long come to terms with his paraplegic condition, and from the little I have seen of him in his music videos I should think he feels fairly comfortable in his skin despite his fate as a cripple. Does it make any sense then if you happen upon Yinka Ayefele at some random event and the first thing you do is to cast a remark on the condition of his legs because you expect him to have accepted his body? You would agree that would indeed be a gauche and uncivilized thing to do.

It is also rather narrow-minded and unprogressively chauvinistic of you to trivialize and whittle this down to a mere gender idiosyncrasy. The issue of self-image and self-perception has an all-emcompassing ontological reach and cuts across both genders.

If intelligence to you means accepting the society's and Instagram queen's slender standard of attractiveness, then I don't want to be "intelligent".


BTW Mr Intelligence, Yinka Ayefele's condition is called a deformity. If adding weight to you is a deformity, then I'm sorry, I can't help you.

DarkRebel69:


Why, you must be among those 50 emotionally unintelligent Nigerians that I made mention of in my post. This has hardly anything to do with acceptance of one's own body as you preach and more to do with proper conversational etiquettes.

Yinka Ayefele has long come to terms with his paraplegic condition, and from the little I have seen of him in his music videos I should think he feels fairly comfortable in his skin despite his fate as a cripple. Does it make any sense then if you happen upon Yinka Ayefele at some random event and the first thing you do is to cast a remark on the condition of his legs because you expect him to have accepted his body? You would agree that would indeed be a gauche and uncivilized thing to do.

It is also rather narrow-minded and unprogressively chauvinistic of you to trivialize and whittle this down to a mere gender idiosyncrasy. The issue of self-image and self-perception has an all-emcompassing ontological reach and cuts across both genders.

Lol exactly