I am always #TeamDoWhatMakesYouHappy so long as it is not at the expense of any other person. I believe so much in the principle of ‘pareto optimality’ when it comes to happiness. This means when I'm happy, you are either happy too or at least not less happy than you were before I became happy. I also believe in being considerate about the feelings of others. This is how I think humans should relate ideally but in most cases, it is unrealistic. I believe we can try though.
In relationships, especially marital ones we need to identify the clear differences between making an intention known and seeking consent when it comes to doing things that will make us happy. For example, if I have decided to further my education whereby the expenses and burden will fall entirely on me, I’ll make my intentions known to my husband out of love and respect. In this case, I’m not asking for his permission. Of course, I’d love it if he supports me. I’d prefer to hear a “that’s awesome honey, go for it!” However, if I happen to hear a “err….I don’t know, doesn’t this mean you’d be at home less?”, it then becomes my duty to allay any concerns that might arise and give a detailed description on how I intend to maintain a balance. If my husband truly cares, he might even offer to get some burden off my back here and there.
What I don’t expect to hear is a “No, you cannot and that’s final”. Err….Oga, are you an enemy of progress? I think we need to understand that we are all adults capable of making informed decisions that affect us. You having a say over the choices of your partner is a priviledge given to you by that partner who chose to love or marry you. You don't have authority over your spouse unless that spouse has given you that authority. It has nothing to do with your wealth, strength, status, beauty, etc. Those are only superficial reasons we can see. If your partner decides not to notice all these, what would you do? There's not much you can do about someone who is unwilling to be submissive or humble except you force it by instilling fear. This is the root of DV in most relationships. Sincere submissiveness comes from a place of respect and not fear.
I hear people get angry and disrespected because their husband or wife built a house without letting them know. Someone wants to make a reasonable investment and you are angry because you are what exactly? Wife? Husband? See, I understand you might feel hurt and betrayed. I mean, why would my husband not trust me enough to let me know about such an important move? I believe this should point me to a more serious issue which is "mutual trust" that I need to fix with him (unless it is meant to be a surprise). I however do not believe it is enough grounds for me to start seeking for an extended family meeting, separation or divorce. I mean, come on What I believe can justify anger is if the funds used were mine without my permission or if we had agreed to use the funds for a joint project that will affect the entire family especially the kids. Now, that is my husband's happiness at my own expense or at the expense of our children. Is it still grounds for a family meeting, etc? For me, that would depend on how remorseful he is. I don't see myself ending up with an inconsiderate man though.

So what do you think? Do you feel the need to seek the consent of your spouse on certain things or do you simply inform them of steps you need to take? Let's here you in the comments section.

Don't forget, the power you have over someone is the power the person gives you. Don't take advantage of it.

Cheers.