The Feminine Role vs. The Working Wife

We have spent the last three chapters on the subject of femininity. What is the best environment for you to grow in your feminine nature? - the home. The home is like the greenhouse in which your feminine nature will grow and blossom. As you care for your family and learn the gentle art of homemaking, your womanly nature will have the best chance of bearing fruit. However, even though women have an ideal soil in which to grow, some of us choose to uproot ourselves and try to grow in an outside field.

I am not sure at this time what the statistics are for women working outside the home, to stay-at-home wives, but it is growing all the time. More and more women are choosing a "career" over their role as a wife, mother, and keeper at home.


When It Is Suitable To Work Outside The Home

There are some circumstances when a woman has a legitimate reason for working outside the home. Some situations are obvious - if you are a widow, single, divorced, or if your husband is disabled, then you have a necessity to work.

If your husband is physically able to work, then you my be justified in the following situations:

1. Emergencies: A financial emergency can give a woman no other alternative except to go into the working world. The family should all pull together and sacrifice to work out this difficult situation.

2. Husband's Education: There are times when your husband is going to school to improve his career or chances for employment that you may need to work. This situation should only be seen as temporary. Be sure you don't get into the trap of needing your income after your husband is employed because of the purchase of luxuries. Be sure to always keep in your mind the goal of being home full-time.

3. Older Women: If your children are grown and gone from home and you find you have a lot of time on your hands, it may be acceptable to take a part-time job, but first consider several factors.
You still have a household to run and a husband to take care of. You may be able to step into the next phase of your life as a grandmother. Your devotion to your husband, children and household will go far in building up your feminine charm, whereas working outside your home will do nothing to further it.


When It Is Not Suitable To Work Outside The Home

1. Easing the Pinch: There will be times when you will be tempted to help your husband provide for you - you don't have enough to make ends meet, you have needs that aren't being met, or you just never seem to have enough. But the price you pay being away from your home will not be worth the trade.
There are many things you can do to help ease the pinch while you are at home. Learn to cook frugal meals, make your own clothes and recycle the ones you have, learn to shop wisely, use good organizational skills to avoid waste are among the things you can do to help.

2. For Luxuries: Many of us feel it is alright to work for the extras we feel we need. You may work so your income may go toward a larger house, a boat, a nice car, nice clothes, new carpet or furniture, or other things. Your extras may be more benevolent in nature...you may be having the "good" of your children or spouse in mind and work for piano or other music lessons, dance lessons, college, private school or so your children can have the latest fashions to fit in. It would be far better to learn to live within your husband's means.

3. Because You're Bored: Maybe you just don't feel you are cut out for home-based life. You get no joy or satisfaction from spending your days at home and long for the "excitement" of the working world. You may even be able to convince your husband that this is a good idea, but the thrill will be temporary once the reality of the "real world" sets in.
There are many things a stay-at-home woman can do to enhance her life. There are ways to broaden her horizons and find fulfillment in her sphere as a feminine woman at home. First, learn to find satisfaction in a job well-done. Next, learn to have satisfaction as a giver to your family. Lastly, if you need an outlet, volunteer work is a good alternative to the working world.

4. To Do Something Important: You may feel that your time at home is wasted, that your talents as a woman are not being used to their fullest extent, or that you are not making a worthwhile contribution to the world. You look at the women in the men's world and feel you pale in comparison.

This may be a prevalent notion among women of the world, but it is not a correct idea. Men's work is extremely important, but best done by men. When women leave their area of expertise, half of the whole picture is missing - part of the family set-up suffers. Women's work is every bit as important as men's, it's just in a different arena.

5. To Ease Your Husband's Load: Being the loving, caring wife that you are you may feel sympathy for your husband because of the work load he is carrying and the stress and strain caused by that load and want to help lighten it. Avoid this! For one thing, you already have a load of your own to carry (especially if you are being diligent in your homemaking/children duties), secondly, this is his job. He not only is equipped with the temperment to handle it, but most men derive a certain pleasure from the challenge. They are also physically able to handle the work better. Let him operate in his sphere, then you make life in your sphere enjoyable for him.

6. Because You Want a Career: You may have a special talent in one of the arts or have a skill in a highly technical field and feel you should pursue a career. Think this over carefully and consider all the reasons stated above. Your family will suffer and your husband will not be able to be in the number 1 position with you. Your marriage will suffer. Is this the price you want to pay?
Some women complain that they don't get enough fulfillment in the home and their women friends at work are more interesting and exciting. They accuse their stay-at-home friends of trite talk about their babies or what they are making for dinner.

No one ever said that a wife and mother cannot be an interesting, well-read person. No one ever made the rule that she must allow herself to be dull. And no one has ever proved to me that work outside the home is more interesting and fulfilling than my life at home. Your life will be what you make of it - and that means that life at home can be every bit as enjoyable as life in the working world.

Should You Train Your Daughters For a Career?

If you are like most of today's mothers, you have this list made in your mind with all the reasons you need to have your daughter train for a career - she may have an emergency, she may get divorced, her husband may die, her husband may get disabled...on so on. There are serious consequences to this action. Here is the flip-side of the coin:

1. It Will Make Her Independent: As we have learned, one of the traits of a fascinating woman is dependency. Training for a career and a job outside the home teaches her just the opposite. She becomes independent and without the need for manly care. She has taken over one of the duties of a man and is in danger of acquiring masculine efficiency.
Encourages Her To Work: Although as a single woman she may need to support herself, training for a career will encourage her to work after she is married. The tendency is to look at college or specialized training as "wasted" if she decides to quit work and focus on her home and husband.
Being prepared for a career not only encourages a woman to work but encourages suitors and husbands to require a woman to work after marriage and after childbearing. It puts a temptation in front of a man when he realizes the amount of money a highly-skilled woman can earn.

2. Training Becomes Obsolete: If a woman does decide to stay at home and care for her husband, what use have the years of training been to her? Her time could have been better spent focusing on other skills or a broader education. Even if she does enter the career field again one day, the training may be out of date.

3. Allows an Easy Exit: A woman with the ability to support and care for herself may be willing to call it quits with greater ease than one who is more dependent on her husband. Most marriages are hard work and have rough times. A woman with an easy-out may not weather the storms.

4. Deprives Her of a Broader Education: A varied education can provide a woman with a well of information and experience to draw from. This kind of education prepares her to help her children as they grow.
A woman who continues to grow and enrich herself in the home is much better able to meet an emergency than one with specialized training. During the years at home, such a woman will develop a well-rounded character. She will push her creative skills, learn to make sound financial decisions, foster wisdom and logical thinking, and many other things that come with a woman truly focused on making a success in her home.


Injury Caused By a Working Wife

When a woman works she steals part of the husband's rights. You will stunt his growth in this area of his responsibility. He will not need to strain himself to rise to the occasion. As you become more effecient, capable, independent and more masculine in your traits, he becomes less so. This can cause you to pick up even more of his load. Remember this: When you lift the bucket up, he sets it down.

You also cause harm to yourself. When you work by choice (not necessity!) your feminine charms dwindle and disappear. You will lose the special sparkle that you, as feminine, dependent woman can have. You will tend to put on masculine traits. Women in the working world get bold, mouthy, aggressive, pushy, arrogant, independent, capable, and efficient. How much of these traits you develop depends entirely upon the type of work you are doing. The traditionally female dominated jobs don't cause as much masculine development as more male ones, however, any type of work which earns money causes independence, which is an enemy to feminine charm.

Children suffer most of all in this type of arrangement. They are deprived of the mother's presence in the home. Merely being there is extremely important to a child's well-being. You may be busy with household tasks, but you are there.

A woman in the home and a man working provides children with a role model to pattern after. There is so much pressure today on our young ones to conform to opposite functions. Our boys are being feminized and our girls are being pushed to become more and more masculine. How will you teach them proper roles when you are doing the opposite yourself?

Our giving in to the pressures of the world and conforming to its standards will cause a further decline in society as a whole. Not only do we lose our masculine and feminine identities, but we upset the economy. Most families, especially those just starting out as young newlyweds, are finding it difficult to make it on one income (not impossible, just difficult). This is because women entering the work-force have brought down the wages. Once women entered by choice, now it is becoming by necessity.


What Can You Do?

You may feel locked into the working world, but you can undo this lock and free yourself from its grip. First, study everything you can on being thrifty and frugal. Learn tips and tricks to make what you have go further.

Learn to make do with what you have. Let go of the luxuries. Even some of the items you see as necessities may not be necessities, but luxuries. If you aren't working do you need a second car? extra clothes? Do you need to live in the house you currently have? Can you find a less expensive one?

Next, talk to your husband about quitting work. Provide him with all the reasons why it will be good for your family and all the reasons it is harmful. Tell him how nice it will be when you can focus on him and the family full-time. Tell him what you are willing and able to do to help without earning money. Tell him about home-cooked meals, a clean house and laundry done on time. Tell him about a wife with some energy left over to spend on him.

When you add up all the expenses of working and deduct that from your bring-home pay, I think you will be surprised at how little you are actually making. When you take this amount into consideration you will see that you can probably save that and more just by good management at home. Start making a list of every expense you have because of your job. Don't forget the higher taxes you pay at the end of the year.

You can do this!

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The white's concept of a good wife is different to the blacks that's why I LOL! when guys here compare Nigerian women to foreign wives. Researching, one of the qualities of a feminine woman (according to foreign men (American, Latin, European) etc. is a woman who doesn't work.

Back to thread, I like and agree with 'the should you train a daughter for career part?'

If you are never going to work, what's the use of a formal education past secondary school? You can learn independently and be well read. This doesn't waste your parents money and frees up space for people who genuinely want to/will work.

So what do we think?

Should a wife work?

What do we think? Should a wife spend (money)?

A wife should work.
However,I personally think that a wife not just woman,should take on jobs that do not keep her away from the home for long hours.

I like all the points on "when it is not suitable to work outside the home", especially number 3 and 6.




No. 6 is the most ridiculous.

dapotanye:
What do we think? UShould a wife spend (money)?

I doubt you understand the writer's opinion:

Her POV (which is not uncommon) is that wives should not work; they are to take care of their husbands and children.... In the same vein, she believes a husband should not be caught doing chores or cooking etc.

So in light of the above;

Do you think a wife should work?

thorpido:
A wife should work.
However,I personally think that a wife not just woman,should take on jobs that do not keep her away from the home for long hours.

Interesting....

However, I believe there are two things here:

A woman whose workplace is far to the home: so she closes 5:30pm + X hours to get home (where X is 1hr 30mins and above). Let's call her Mrs. A

A woman who likes to 'work' or close late: so she closes 8:30pm and drives 15mins home... Let's call her Mrs. B

Both of them will get home late;

What will you advise both of them to do?

What's your definition of late BTW?

Acidosis:
I like all the points on "when it is not suitable to work outside the home", especially number 3 and 6.




No. 6 is the most ridiculous.

So you don't believe a woman should have a career

Do you think a woman should be formally educated beyond Secondary School?

What do you think of Dora Akunliyi RIP and Ngozi Okonjo Iwenala

bukatyne:


So you don't believe a woman should have a career

Do you think a woman should be formally educated beyond Secondary School?

What do you think of Dora Akunliyi RIP and Ngozi Okonjo Iwenala

Dora and Iweala are purpose-driven not 'career'-driven women.

Some women these days just want a career that will constantly make them wear high heels, heels that are sharp and long enough to step on the husband's toes. That's not a good reason to pursue a career in my own understanding.

Women must can be formally educated beyond secondary school. What they must do with the obtained education however remains a choice.

Lol @ feminine charm, by all means a wife should work but the children 's welfare is also paramount, so a balance should be considered. Giving it all up to an uneventful life doesn't cut it for me. Even if it is for the sake of escape route, it a good enough reason to work.

Acidosis:


Dora and Iweala are purpose-driven not 'career'-driven women.

Some women these days just want a career that will constantly make them wear high heels, heels that are sharp and long enough to step on the husband's toes. That's not a good reason to pursue a career in my own understanding.

Women must can be formally educated beyond secondary school. What they must do with the obtained education however remains a choice.

I think you are mixing a career with working a job for job sake

Dora & Ngozi have careers; na you turn am to purpose

The OP is referring to women who want careers and are working jobs.

If you say you don't like a career woman, can I assume you don't want a working wife?

byvan03:
Lol @ feminine charm, by all means a wife should work but the children 's welfare is also paramount, so a balance should be considered. Giving it all up to an uneventful life doesn't cut it for me. Even if it is for the sake of escape route, it a good enough reason to work.

Don't let the OP hear you @ uneventful life

The way they practice their stay at home mom thingy is different from ours..... They volunteer at church, school, neighborhood etc., form groups for reading, discussion, sewing etc. So at the end, one is not really bored.

I agree with a balance, what do you prescribe? How can a wife have that balance?

P.S.: I really find it funny that a lot of them have blogs and TV shows.....

I remember one who was said to have built a career out of telling women not to have a career.

How are you and family?

bukatyne:


Interesting....

However, I believe there are two things here:

A woman whose workplace is far to the home: so she closes 5:30pm + X hours to get home (where X is 1hr 30mins and above). Let's call her Mrs. A

A woman who likes to 'work' or close late: so she closes 8:30pm and drives 15mins home... Let's call her Mrs. B

Both of them will get home late;

What will you advise both of them to do?

What's your definition of late BTW?

As much as possible,a woman should live not too far from her workplace.Also the work hours should be like 8-4pm or 9-5pm,except there are shifts.
Once the night falls,it's late.......i.e by 7pm is ideal.

thorpido:
As much as possible,a woman should live not too far from her workplace.Also the work hours should be like 8-4pm or 9-5pm,except there are shifts.
Once the night falls,it's late.......i.e by 7pm is ideal.

In Lagos for instance: The commercial hubs are V/I, Ikeja, Apapa, Ikoyi and Lekki and only about 10% of people live around there.

Also, there is the challenge of not finishing up by 5pm and extra hours required.

So what do you suggest ?

Coulda, woulda, shoulda doesnt pay school fees or houserent
The turanchi written above is not workable in a society like Nigeria.
There's no social security for any child, nor parents.
No benefits for any child or parent. No tax relief anywhere.
Many graduates are unemployable including both men and women.. There are no jobs even for the employable ones.
A graduate earning 40-60k monthly, with a wife and 2 children can't possibly solve anything with that.
Most women work out of necessity, despite having able bodied husbands. I know a lot of women who are the main providers in their homes.
They've resigned to their fate, and can't watch their children suffer, they've taken the bull by the horns.
The emphasis should now be on having at least a parent spend more time with the kids, depending on who has a higher earning power.

bukatyne:


In Lagos for instance: The commercial hubs are V/I, Ikeja, Apapa, Ikoyi and Lekki and only about 10% of people live around there.

Also, there is the challenge of not finishing up by 5pm and extra hours required.

So what do you suggest ?

If you can't afford to rent a place on the Island,you just have to make do with the present situation and that means the wife can't get home early.
In such a situation,I will only advise that she and her husband have a long term plan of a different kind of job or business.
I don't like the idea of doing that kind of 'mainland to Island' job for 25yrs>.

Reading this post while I pack my bag for night shift.

My 18 month old will be alone with her father who will feed, bathe and dress her tonight and tomorrow morning before dropping her off at daycare.

If the original author can deposit $300 million in my account tonight, I'll stay home forever and raise all the little babies anyone wants to have.

#mindyourownhomes.

All these wannabe authors

Is it not right for a husband and father to work? Such double standards. A wife is a helper. Thus,if an opportunity suffices for her to work (or if she is gainfully employed already),why shouldnt she take the job(or quit her already existing and well-paying job)
One ability women are 100 efficient at is multitasking. An active woman can and willl run her work and home front effectively.so..?

bukatyne:


I think you are mixing a career with working a job for job sake

Dora & Ngozi have careers; na you turn am to purpose

The OP is referring to women who want careers and are working jobs.

If you say you don't like a career woman, can I assume you don't want a working wife?

Some women work for the wrong reasons:

1. To lose weight
2. Stay out of boredom
3. Get good office clothes, high heels and slay on Instagram
4. To bear the "career woman" tag

For me, I don't think a woman should consider working under the above conditions.

You're right BTW, Ngozi and co have careers. They have the choice to stay out of job, after all, many of them have wealthy husbands but they choose to be driven by a purpose.

I've always had issues with the word "career woman". It doesn't exist in my world. We don't have "career man", you're either working for a right reason or a wrong reason. I literally run away from women that adopt that line: 'I want to be a career woman' rather than I want to be a doctor, an engineer, a programmer, a business woman, etc.

Acidosis:


Some women work for the wrong reasons:

1. To lose weight
2. Stay out of boredom
3. Get good office clothes, high heels and slay on Instagram
4. To bear the "career woman" tag

For me, I don't think a woman should consider working under the above conditions.

You're right BTW, Ngozi and co have careers. They have the choice to stay out of job, after all, many of them have wealthy husbands but they choose to be driven by a purpose.

I've always had issues with the word "career woman". It doesn't exist in my world. We don't have "career man", you're either working for a right reason or a wrong reason. I literally run away from women that adopt that line: 'I want to be a career woman' rather than I want to be a doctor, an engineer, a programmer, a business woman, etc.

How many women in this Nigeria do you think work for the so called wrong reasons?

With this our economy and society full of uncertainties.

You think I enjoy working Monday to Saturday for the peanuts they are paying?



please I'm looking for a rich husband so that I can stay home and twist my diamonds.

Proudgorgeousga:



How many women in this Nigeria do you think work for the so called wrong reasons?

With this our economy and society full of uncertainties.

You think I enjoy working Monday to Saturday for the peanuts they are paying?


please I'm looking for a rich husband so that I can stay home and twist my diamonds.

I like that part

The best job for a woman is Teaching.. It allows her to be always available and good role model for her children or any job that makes her available when her children comes back from school.. This society of ours is getting worse yearly.. Children are quick to imbibe bad vices easily.. May God give all parents to raise God fearing children.
My opinion though

Y'all sit on your phat asses and tell women when or why they should work. Nonsense. What gives you the right? The nerve.


I work to buy expensive items that have no meaning two months after they are bought.

Come and beat me.

Acidosis:


Some women work for the wrong reasons:

1. To lose weight
2. Stay out of boredom
3. Get good office clothes, high heels and slay on Instagram
4. To bear the "career woman" tag

For me, I don't think a woman should consider working under the above conditions.

You're right BTW, Ngozi and co have careers. They have the choice to stay out of job, after all, many of them have wealthy husbands but they choose to be driven by a purpose.

I've always had issues with the word "career woman". It doesn't exist in my world. We don't have "career man", you're either working for a right reason or a wrong reason. I literally run away from women that adopt that line: 'I want to be a career woman' rather than I want to be a doctor, an engineer, a programmer, a business woman, etc.

cococandy:
Y'all sit on your phat asses and tell women when or why they should work. Nonsense. What gives you the right? The nerve.


I work to buy expensive items that have no meaning two months after they are bought.

Come and beat me.

We have the right to tell you why or when to work when the earnings from such works add no value to the home or when the cons from such works outweigh the benefits.

You're supposed to take care of the home, so when you abandon that duty to pursue some selfish ventures, I have the right to put a stop to it.

Everyone has their calling in life,some want to guard the home,guard their kids,guard their bingos.

Some believe they are on this earth to serve their husbands and children.Nothing wrong in that belief.

Personally,I was created for so much more.I am here to live a life,to excel,to make a difference,to raise my children the best way I can,to join forces with my husband and create the life we want.
I am on earth to save lives, mentally and physically and have chosen a career in that direction.

Im not here to dress beds ,sweep house ,cook plus take care of toddlers and a man,nope.

It is very prevalent in all societies worse in Naija to tell a woman not to work,down to the degrading aspect of even choosing professions that are deemed suitable.It is a disgrace and still a way to push the girl child and her ambitions down.To foster an environment where men hold all the aces especially financially.If you cannot fend for yourself and your children and you are faced with a violent spouse,how will you leave When you are in an unhappy marriage how will you move forward without financial ability?

I am a role.model for my children,I'm showing them how to strive to be better,to be kind,to help ,to contribute to the society by working and paying my taxes.My contribution pays into the health service and the welfare system which takes care of he poor,the old people and the disabled.



My daughter from watching me knows she can be anything,she can be an astronaut,she can be a doctor,she can be a business woman.Why be a nurse when she can be a doctor?Why a teacher when she can be a pilot?My point is for that the girl child should NEVER be constrained in career choice because she wants to be a mother.

My son is learning the value of work,in having a strong woman by your side.He knows that mummy and daddy go out together as a team and bring home the cheese to give them a good life. Mummy is not at home all day,she's going out to make a difference and coming home to him later in the day.

My children see me actively contributing to the home,they see their father and I as partners who make joint decisions.That is what I want them to strive for.

Millions of children have been raised by working mothers even single ones and have turned out brilliant.

Its high time men started facing the same heat.Why can't they stay at home?? DH and I work in the same industry and earning potential is going to be the same in a bit ,many already have equal income.So why is it the female asked to give up her aspirations just to raise kids and tend a home?

I am at my best when I'm adding to the family pot both physically and psychologically.It is only a happy fulfilled woman that can bring up well balanced children.I do not have to be at home 24/7 to do that.

Raising children is a combined effort.The first few years in the work force are brutal but it eases off with seniority and a better balance will be found.Once you have a partner that believes in you,has the same vision as you,the home will always be an excellent place and you will raise excellent children.

No one has the right to decide what value is for another human being.value may be monetary to you,to another person it is self worth.Everyones choice of what makes them feel self worth varies greatly.If a woman believes she feels more self worth by working,it's not in a man's place to tell her because her income is small,it has no value.

Omg see epistle!!

Acidosis:


Some women work for the wrong reasons:

1. To lose weight
2. Stay out of boredom
3. Get good office clothes, high heels and slay on Instagram
4. To bear the "career woman" tag

For me, I don't think a woman should consider working under the above conditions.

You're right BTW, Ngozi and co have careers. They have the choice to stay out of job, after all, many of them have wealthy husbands but they choose to be driven by a purpose.

I've always had issues with the word "career woman". It doesn't exist in my world. We don't have "career man", you're either working for a right reason or a wrong reason. I literally run away from women that adopt that line: 'I want to be a career woman' rather than I want to be a doctor, an engineer, a programmer, a business woman, etc.

Do you honestly know women who work for these reasons you mentioned above?

I'd change that no 3 to " she wants to foot her bills" than how you put it though!

Acidosis:


Some women work for the wrong reasons:

1. To lose weight
2. Stay out of boredom
3. Get good office clothes, high heels and slay on Instagram
4. To bear the "career woman" tag

For me, I don't think a woman should consider working under the above conditions.

You're right BTW, Ngozi and co have careers. They have the choice to stay out of job, after all, many of them have wealthy husbands but they choose to be driven by a purpose.

I've always had issues with the word "career woman". It doesn't exist in my world. We don't have "career man", you're either working for a right reason or a wrong reason. I literally run away from women that adopt that line: 'I want to be a career woman' rather than I want to be a doctor, an engineer, a programmer, a business woman, etc.

Semantics. You fail to acknowledge the burden of expectation of the society that within the family, if anyone is to give up their careers to care for the home and raise children, it's usually the woman.

Any woman stressing that she career oriented is refuting that, stating that she doesn't want that. Her career is not something she is willing to sacrifice at the expense of the afore mentioned.

So, you do not hear "career man" simply because men are generally not burdened with having to make a choice between their careers and family.

babythug:

Do you honestly know women who work for these reasons you mentioned above?

I'd change that no 3 to " she wants to foot her bills" than how you put it though!

No 2 & 4 are common.. In fact, a lot of women secretly wish to work to avoid gaining excess weight; some secretly wish to leave the house as early as possible to avoid mother-in-law wahala.

shaybebaby:

Semantics. You fail to acknowledge the burden of expectation of the society that within the family, if anyone is to give up their careers to care for the home and raise children, it's usually the woman.

Any woman stressing that she career oriented is refuting that, stating that she doesn't want that. Her career is not something she is willing to sacrifice at the expense of the afore mentioned.

So, you do not hear "career man" simply because men are generally not burdened with having to make a choice between their careers and family.

You're right shaybebaby, well said

shaybebaby:

Semantics. You fail to acknowledge the burden of expectation of the society that within the family, if anyone is to give up their careers to care for the home and raise children, it's usually the woman.

Any woman stressing that she career oriented is refuting that, stating that she doesn't want that. Her career is not something she is willing to sacrifice at the expense of the afore mentioned.

So, you do not hear "career man" simply because men are generally not burdened with having to make a choice between their careers and family.

Hi, Morning...


So true @



Semantics. You fail to acknowledge the burden of expectation of the society that within the family, if anyone is to give up their careers to care for the home and raise children, it's usually the woman.

Any woman stressing that she career oriented is refuting that, stating that she doesn't want that. Her career is not something she is willing to sacrifice at the expense of the afore mentioned.

So, you do not hear "career man" simply because men are generally not burdened with having to make a choice between their careers and family.

A woman should do the one that makes her feel fulfilled in life not what society or an article says. Some women end up being miserable just being a full time housewife while some it is the other way round
The couple should talk about it and make a decision that makes everyone happy and comfortable.