My village people were already whispering in my head, “...I’m obsessed with moi-moi.”
Just then, Adaku, my crush saw me. I think she was photocopying some books. She started laughing, and the girls in her clique joined her. All eyes were on me, I just wanted to die there.
I tried to senior-man-walk out of there but my legs would not move. When it finally did, I kicked a block and fell into a shallow, dry gutter.
Adaku kept laughing, and I had to stand and face her. On the ground there, I was already thinking of the standing style to use: monkey style, doggy-standing style, Jet-Li style, Chinese get-up, I could not decide.
So I did Chinedu style. I simply allowed the dust to eat me, then stood and tried to clean it off with my handkerchief.
“Are you this obsessed with moi-moi,” Adaku was standing beside me.
She helped me stand and then bought pure water to help with the dust. By now, the laughter of the girls had turned to giggles. No matter what, I don fall my hands.
I decided not to lose completely. I started a conversation with her, and in the next thirty minutes, I had secured myself a weekend date.
The worst part is that the Cynthia I was calling to buy me moi-moi didn’t even hear me. Mtcheeew .
Well, at least I didn’t lose 100%.
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Piss off Bob