Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? - Romance - Nairaland
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| Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by BettyBlue(m): 12:52am On Mar 15, 2010 |
Hey Nairalanders, would appreciate your honest,candid advice and opinion on this topic. I have dated this lady for almost 6 years, with the impression that i am older than her. She lied about her age all these years. A couple of months ago, i made up my mind and decided on taking the relationship to the next level, by asking her to get married to me. I just recently found out that she is older than i am with three(3) years. I asked her to confirm if it was true. she initially was defensive and in denial, but eventually agreed to have lied about her age all these while. Now i am so confused because i really love her and have given so much into the relationship. I do not really have a problem with getting married to an older lady, so long as she has regards and respect for me. But my worry is why she lied about it for years. My worry is how many more lies are my going to discover. She has asked me to take a week to think and decide if i still want to go ahead with the relationship, because she doesn't want me deal with the age difference if i can't live with it. What would you do if you were in my shoes? Again, i don't have a problem with the age difference, but my major concern is the LIE. How many more lies will i discover and hoping it won't be too late. Honest advice and opinions will be appreciated. Got 5 days left to decide. Should i quit? Should i stay? Food for thought! |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by Nobody: 12:57am On Mar 15, 2010 |
Well we are in a youth obsessed society, we even had a useless goon state that he never dates a girl over 21. If you love her like you say you do then seat her down and tell her to come clean with any other lies she might have told in the past. Good luck with your decision. |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by KennyG6(m): 1:01am On Mar 15, 2010 |
nope, I mean how can you marry someone who is older than you now! aha! The next thing she go dey order u around under the guise that she is the senior partner |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by spoilt(f): 1:09am On Mar 15, 2010 |
Quit fussing and marry her already. Ordinary three years. |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by Nobody: 1:10am On Mar 15, 2010 |
Well well well. On the one hand i'd say its not enough to crucify her on the 'little white lie' about her age. Could have been just down to niggly but harmless insecurity; some gurlz have big issues with this age thing. On the other hand however, one may worry about the real possibility of uncovering more lies. Maybe you'd discover she has a child somewhere. Maybe this maybe that. Its a tough call. Me though, I'd find it hard to continue building a relationship whose foundation is ab initio anchored on lie(s); my imagination (or is it paranoia) would run riot. But it's your decision to make man. |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by BettyBlue(m): 1:19am On Mar 15, 2010 |
pro01: @pro01, well said! My imagination is running riot. I never imagined she could tell such a lie and hold on to it for years. I worry about the other lies i do not know. To even imagine i build a relationship on a lie is a bad taste. spoilt: @ spoilt, i do not have a problem with the age stuff, even if its months. My worry is the LIE. Can i trust this kinda lady? pro01: She said that she once asked me years back if i could date an older lady and i said absolutely not and i guess that gave her some insecurity and made her hold on to her lie. But that was years ago. My mentality has long changed. Kenny_G: @Kenny_G, I cannot be ordered around. That one is impossible for sure and she knows it. She only mentioned that she will remain who she has always been and nothing will change. |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by ebonyz: 1:20am On Mar 15, 2010 |
I am sure u have lied to a chic too before, stop acting like a damn saint jare  |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by BettyBlue(m): 1:27am On Mar 15, 2010 |
@ebonyz, i never said i am a saint. I am just trying to take a decision here, that's all. |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by eddy1977(m): 1:43am On Mar 15, 2010 |
hi bettyblue i feel you man;lies are red flags for any stable relationships. the only thing i can think of is that may be the way your relationship started was not very promising or serious,so she had no reason to tell you that you are 3 years younger.but now that you have shown her your love,she has done the right thing to tell u the truth and give the opportunity to either pursue or back off. the other lie she may have told you is obvious: how many men she has been with before you.dont even ask her that because she will tell you a lie;just forget it and see her for who she is now. if she has a child out there,ask her to produce it before u find out. by the way,i dont understand the BETTY in your username bettybleu;sounds bi-sexual.not judging you but just scratching my head. r u in the closet?? |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by Sauron1: 1:50am On Mar 15, 2010 |
BettyBlue: Age has nothing to do with it. . . . .U want to quit a relationship because of her age? What is age apart from being a number. Age is mind over matter. . . . .If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by 0hsisi: 1:56am On Mar 15, 2010 |
~Sauron~: Can't you read?  The guy is not worried about the age difference but the lie which this woman told for 6 solid years I can understand lying to a boyfriend for a week or a month then coming clean,but 6 years?  @ the poster, please run away from that woman as fast as you can she is a chronic liar and you should drop her like a used tampon immediately Who knows what other secrets she has up her sleeves she may not even have a uterus or fallopian tubes for all you know Marry her at your own risk you've been warned This is the exact same thing I'll tell my own brother. Run far far away |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by Nobody: 1:59am On Mar 15, 2010 |
She could have not lied for good six years now, han han. Don't know what to tell you.  |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by Sauron1: 2:10am On Mar 15, 2010 |
0hsisi: I still don't see how lying about her age affects the price of fish. It's as insignificant as lying about one's virginity. It's not like she's an ex-convict or a career prostitute. This man should put the issue behind him and save his breath. |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by BettyBlue(m): 2:32am On Mar 15, 2010 |
@eddy1977, i am not a bi-sexual and would never be. Bettyblue is a code name for one of the actors in the series 'The Unit". Yes the relationship started not too serious and promising, but she knew when it became serious. Why didn't she spill the beans. To imagine that she would have allowed me to live with this deceit is so unfair. And also i just found out that she lied too about her past boyfriends, though i have not asked her and would not. @ohsisi, thanks man. Funny how things uncover. Now she feels so guilty and won't take my calls. She said she now has her own doubts if "WE" will work. I know its her conscience. She is scared of how to face her actions and how i would react now and in the future. I think i am beginning to trace other little lies. They don't mean much to me tough. The thought that she could say all these lies, dey scatter my head. Women, God help us! @sauron, i understand your point, but lies give a wrong impression about an individual. Especially in stable relationships. |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by kpolli(m): 9:12am On Mar 15, 2010 |
spoilt: see ur mouth like ordinary three yrs @ poster, i dont usually support guys marrying gurls that are more than a yr older than them but this case is an exception cos U dont mind, first ask y she lied, is it cos she liked u too much to tell u the truth?? was she thinking long term or short term when she lied ?? n y keep it so long?? if she can give u good answers, then marry the damn girl |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by BettyBlue(m): 10:58am On Mar 15, 2010 |
@kpolli, Thanks man |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by galatico(m): 11:32am On Mar 15, 2010 |
I wouldn't mind dating or getting married to a lady older than me . |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by DOAweb(m): 11:44am On Mar 15, 2010 |
The age thingy - not a problem but the lie for years - not sure if I can deal with that.  |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by eddy1977(m): 4:58pm On Mar 15, 2010 |
dear bettyblue i dont thing this lady is a marriage material. marrying a liar is like marrying the undertaker. she's got her cozy and warm grave already prepared for u. just take a hike from the relationship. do your search very well;find a trustworthy virgin and settle down with her. take a trip to one of these born again churches and shop there. |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by Valto(m): 5:45pm On Mar 15, 2010 |
@poster pls no mind d last poster. d devil u know is better than d angel u dont know. some of dis born again ladies are even worser.beware!!! |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by BettyBlue(m): 8:18pm On Mar 17, 2010 |
Hmmmmmmmmm, its tough. |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by Nobody: 9:20pm On Mar 17, 2010 |
I would still marry her, yes. |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by okenwa(m): 9:33pm On Mar 17, 2010 |
no |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by SirDombo: 12:07am On Mar 18, 2010 |
it's not the age that's the deal breaker it's the six year old lie, she is too good a liar for me to deal with |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by fineboy5: 12:29am On Mar 18, 2010 |
run run run. the next u will hear is i did abol tion year back and i cant bear kids. ur girl is a time waster |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by mamagee3(f): 12:55am On Mar 18, 2010 |
Siena:I thought you were married? |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by selena(f): 1:56am On Mar 18, 2010 |
If she looks younger than her real age.Why not? |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by iice(f): 2:58am On Mar 18, 2010 |
Hmmm people no dey read still. Anyway. . .i think you should ask her to make you understand why she kept it a secret for that long. |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by AqRiUsAge(f): 3:08am On Mar 18, 2010 |
The relationship would be over. I'm sorry but wtf! Insecurity shminsecurities! Abeg, It'd be over till further notice if it was me. But it isnt me, so please, act according to your conscience, poster. On another note, Kenny_G: ^^^ simply disgusting, am sorry. |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by BettyBlue(m): 11:38am On Mar 18, 2010 |
selena: @selena, she looks way younger than her age. That was another factor that made me accept the age she told me all this while. She would pass for a 22 year old. Quite pretty, slim physique with long legs. Pretty women are always difficult to deal with i guess. iice: I did ask her why she kept such a lie for so long. Her response was that i lied about mine earlier. He reply doesn't hold water sha. Fact was that when we started dating, i told her a lie about my age, but i later told her the truth about my real age after 2 months into the relationship. Now she claimed that if i had told her about my real age from the onset, she wouldn't have dated me because she had her opinion about age differences then, but not anymore. Now my question to her was that, why didn't she come out clean with the truth after i did? She was like, she was already in the relationship and wasn't certain how serious the relationship will build up. I think she's playing mind games with me and trying to put the blames on me. She's good at that. We don't talk no more. Kinda a break while i clear my head. I am supposed to use a week for this, but am just so undecided till now. Pls keep your comments coming. |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by honeric01(m): 12:57pm On Mar 18, 2010 |
BettyBlue: You should have added this in the first place, anyways, what i think you should do is to sit her down, tell her to open up on any other lies she must have told, if you can deal with the news lies, then nothing do you, if she refuses to open up, do your own research or just call it quit. |
| Re: Would You Marry An Older Lady Who Initially Lied About Her Age? by iice(f): 1:30pm On Mar 18, 2010 |
BettyBlue: Her excuse doesn't hold water. I also think she's shifting the blame to you, which is totally unnecesssary. If you do come to a decision to go through with the relationship. She had better lay all on the ground oo. No more lies. |
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