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Re: My Girlfriend Hit Me With A Sudden News by Nobody: 7:09pm On Oct 26, 2017 |
[b][/b] Philosophia:[b]I initially didn't want to type anything but just read comments, but on a second thought I reconsidered you might need an extra advice. My father used to tell me every time I go home, he always sits me down and advised me on how to be happily married. He will say, if you like drinking, marry a girl who loves to drink too or doesn't have a problem seeing you drinking. If you love sex, marry a lady who loves it as much as you do. From my little experience in life, it's very rear to find a girl who is very compatible with your likes and believe these days. I ones lost a girl i love so much to another man who wanted to marry her, It took me about 6 years to find another girl I love and respect and is compatible with my personality. I'm not very financially stable yet, but I can take care of her needs and mine and assist her financially in her studies. We are getting married next year June, I've already introduced her to my family and her family has met mine. My dad is currently treating her dad for an illness (He is a doctor). And you might think I currently have over a million bucks in my account but you are wrong. I don't, but I earn a decent sum from my business to take care of a family of 3 in Lagos and have some savings. The problem with you is you, you think you are not ready and hence you cry and blame yourself and her. This is not the time for blame games if you know you love her and really need her then go get her. Double your hustle, restructure your business, if it's not lucrative shut it down and look for another or search for a job bro. All she needs now is a sense of security and assurance from you. Someone else is already doing that and I hope it's not too late. She doesn't need you spending on her, she wants to see you succeed and that will give her hope so she will wait for you. This is Nigeria, not Europe where no one cares about your marital status, the pressure is just too much on them. I hope my comment here helps you in making your final decisions, good luck bro.[/b] 4 Likes |
Re: My Girlfriend Hit Me With A Sudden News by 9japrof(m): 7:13pm On Oct 26, 2017 |
Philosophia: Abeg make una free this nigga oooo, all the advice wey una dey pour for this guy dey like water dem dey pour stone. At least from the above statement, una go see say this girl don use pussy wire this guy's medula oblongata commot. This nigga never see anything 2 Likes |
Re: My Girlfriend Hit Me With A Sudden News by Philosophia: 8:34pm On Oct 26, 2017 |
I have heard you all. What a community! Indeed, I need to take my life and destiny in my own hands and rediscover myself. It's a lesson well learnt and harshly taught, but I guess I have graduated from that class of experience. Time to reassess myself and future and set new goals. I leave it all in the hands of God. Thanks a lot people. May God bless you all abundantly and help you to make wise decisions about your lives. Amen! 4 Likes |
Re: My Girlfriend Hit Me With A Sudden News by Bjrokenhear003: 6:37am On Oct 27, 2017 |
i am going through that same fate but mine is different i have over 3 million cash in bank, i am worth over 80 million with inherited properties from my late dad and investment in real estate i love this girl, she knows all my investment, i believed her till today she broke up with me because she said she cant be in a unstable emotionally relationship..."when she asked for finance somewhere and she knew my money tied into a an investment at that period, so couldnt give her, she said she would ask somewhere else, FUNNY ITS JUST 2K ITEM, i kept shut and never said anything to avoid issues, she then told me they were able to help her, i called her and she's its just my bad mind that didnt allow the ITEM to be transfered, i expalined to her, she broke up, already saw the signs that when i ping, she no reply me, she read chat and even though not call me and i have done lots more for her just because i was low at that period. i wanted her to feel pain and called her my friend and said she should come pack her things, how will somebody i risk for be treating me so foolishly because of i love, she told me of her tenant hitting on her and i saw the way he looks at her earlier. its not been easy just less than 24 hours i have cried my eyes out, just within a month i dont have much finance, a month investment, which she knows about she called it quit she needed a stable relationship. i feel pained as i type this because somebody u feel u can go through lots to please her, planning to risk it all despite she older than me, yet she not feel the same about u & last week she promised me of her undying love for me and how i made her feel that she cant trade me for anything in this life, i wondered how my life is being fooled and cant sleep since 4am here am i, taking solace to alchohol thats how some men would turn to a devil and girls be saying YORUBA DEMON, its people who bring out that demon wicked part in somebody life. i feel like dying but knowing well i am the only son child of my mother i must pass through this phase and buy what makes me happy i will buy my iphone 8 and my honda crosstour to be driving at least to make sure the car is my new babe during december money isnt all... finding someone who is patient and can accommodate u is the KOKO, my lesson to u is not all about money sometimes u might have more than enough but she might feel she has lots of security and finance with another.. LOVE IS JUST A DECEIT..i can never go back to her with the way i feel 2 Likes |
Re: My Girlfriend Hit Me With A Sudden News by Philosophia: 12:28pm On Oct 27, 2017 |
Bjrokenhear003: My brother, it is clear to me now that a lot of Nigerian females(young ladies) are seemingly misguided in their thinking or they have a convoluted thought process and tend to confuse themselves. Note: I said "a lot" not "most" and not "all". A lot do not seem to know what they want or have a plan for their lives. Seemingly prone to whims and caprices because they have yet to discover who they are, what they stand for, their scale of priority and a high sense of objective reasoning. I thank the Nairaland community for continually dishing out to me hard truth and facts some of which I already knew. I guess I was caught-up in the web of conformist heterosexual dynamics which stole my heart and mind and numbed my faculty for objectivity. I do not want to seem like a pro-advicer or guru. Afterall, I was only "saved" a breath ago. However, I do have some advice to dish out I guess to both of us(you and I). My brother, if indeed you are ready to settle down, then I suggest you follow the following.....I was typing and I saw that it was too long so I decided to make it into a thread instead. Here: https://www.nairaland.com/4141745/some-steps-get-right-woman Don't waste too much time feeling sorry for yourself. I went through my grieving process as fast as possible to still allow me some of that "energy" to turn my life around. You should do same. UPDATE ON MY SITUATION: I went through a process of rediscovering myself and giving myself a purpose again or picking up from where I was mentally etc. before the whole "episode" and I discovered that I really veered widely ofcourse. So I held a meeting with her yesterday and I officially informed her that I would be pulling out from one of the businesses(the one that's doing very poorly, that will make us see eachother often, that was a sentimental mis-step) at the end of the year when the rent we jointly contributed(I paid more) expires. When we were discussing on our relationship, she said she was only asking God for direction because indeed her wish is to get married, that there was nothing to her telling me about it. She just respected me that was why she told me..bla bla bla. She then started on how it was unprofessional to bring personal or emotional things to business. That she would still want me to be part of the business because...bla bla bla and bla. I told her my mind was made up and I thought it was a good decision. She left the office very "cold". I felt just a little sorry for her because it is a huge financial burden. I had paid most of the rent the last time. I she will weather it because she is strong too. She's been through some sh¥t in her short life. I do not hate her but I am a new man now, with a new motto. I say to myself: Selah, verum est te ipsum ad finem. |
Re: My Girlfriend Hit Me With A Sudden News by lokoventurex1(m): 7:44pm On Oct 27, 2017 |
There are two ways to this issue or more.... Firstly, I will use my immediate younger sister as an hypothetical example. My younger sister has been in a relationship with a guy for some years now(5years or so). The guy is even older than me. My younger sister is now 27years. This guy has not made any move for introduction between the two families. The guy is also a broke nigga(sorry to use that language). Mumsy is seriously not happy about the way the guy is taking the relationship. The funny part is that my sister loves this guy. This guy practically does nothing in my sister's life. Although, I dunno if the guy is loyal to her my sister in terms of sincerity. My point is that we had a conclusion at mum's shop today that this guy is just wasting our daughter's time. My sister doesn't see his fault, but she's not enjoying the finances a lady should be getting from her guy. If my later succumb to our pleas to leave this guy and date to marry another more serious guy, somebody will come on nairaland to say a lady dumped him. It is high time we started to know when a lady leaves a guy for another man, she might have a best reason(s) for taking such a decision. A lady has done that to me in the past. Aldo, she wasnt going to marry anyone then. It was painful because I truly loved her, but I had to let go... Marriage is a lifetime thing. It requires a thorough decision. We should respect other people's decision Biko! If that lady wants to settle down, abeg guy, just let her go, perhaps, she's not meant for you. You would definitely get ur specs. I stand to be corrected though.... |
Re: My Girlfriend Hit Me With A Sudden News by lokoventurex1(m): 7:48pm On Oct 27, 2017 |
There are two ways to this issue or more.... Firstly, I will use my immediate younger sister as an hypothetical example. My younger sister has been in a relationship with a guy for some years now(5years or so). The guy is even older than me. My younger sister is now 27years. This guy has not made any move for introduction between the two families. The guy is also a broke nigga(sorry to use that language). Mumsy is seriously not happy about the way the guy is taking the relationship. The funny part is that my sister loves this guy. This guy practically does nothing in my sister's life. Although, I dunno if the guy is loyal to her my sister in terms of sincerity. My point is that we had a conclusion at mum's shop today that this guy is just wasting our daughter's time. My sister doesn't see his fault, but she's not enjoying the finances a lady should be getting from her guy. If my sister later succumb to our pleas to leave this guy, and date to marry another more serious guy, somebody will come on nairaland to say a lady dumped him. It is high time we started to know when a lady leaves a guy for another man, she might have a reason(s) for taking such a decision. A lady has done that to me in the past. Aldo, she wasnt going to marry anyone then. It was painful because I truly loved her, but I had to let go... Marriage is a lifetime thing. It requires a thorough decision. We should respect other people's decision Biko! If that lady wants to settle down, abeg guy, just let her go, perhaps, she's not meant for you. You would definitely get ur specs. I stand to be corrected though.... |
Re: My Girlfriend Hit Me With A Sudden News by Luckygurl(f): 8:56pm On Oct 27, 2017 |
@ philosophia That's the way to go man. You did the right thing, trust me on that. And about her response on you trying to bring in emotions and all into business. Pay no heed to that, that's some minor form of blackmail. We are humans and no matter how perfect we think we are, there's always this selfish part of us that'll come into play often times. That's the part of her been displayed. She suggested you guys moving on and still want every other part of your lives to be intact. It could be easy for her cos she was the one that called the shots but then she literally forgot you've got feelings that were hurt in the process. Running the business as usual means you both will be seeing yourselves often and you'll always be reminded of how she was meant to be yours, you'll be forced to brood over and over again and you can hardly move on without her popping in to the picture. I'm not trying to paint her as a bad person, she's not at all. Infact! Indirectly you should be grateful to her cos somehow she spurred you up into reality. She gave you that external push you needed to set your priorities right. All what I'm saying is, if she made a critical decision as this, she should be able to live up to the consequences of that decision, positive or negative. Not all relationships lead to marriage. Hopefully in the future, you both will look back and can't help but be glad things turned out this way. The future is bright for the both of you. And please!! Take your health serious. You're still too young to start having hbp. 3 Likes |
Re: My Girlfriend Hit Me With A Sudden News by walex25(m): 9:23pm On Oct 27, 2017 |
Philosophia: |
Re: My Girlfriend Hit Me With A Sudden News by boomssey(f): 9:45pm On Oct 27, 2017 |
As a woman i really do feel for you and just know exactly what you are going through but one thing is very certain,what's meant for will always be yours no matter what.don't fight it dear just let it go. |
Re: My Girlfriend Hit Me With A Sudden News by Nobody: 1:21pm On Oct 31, 2017 |
Philosophia:welcome to manhood brother. believe me it will make you stronger. love is an emotion that can't be trusted. The world is what it is and you are what you are. |
Re: My Girlfriend Hit Me With A Sudden News by Nobody: 1:27pm On Oct 31, 2017 |
Philosophia:my brother if you ever get to the point where you are scared of losing the girl in your life know she isn't the one for you |
Re: My Girlfriend Hit Me With A Sudden News by moorevic(m): 4:03pm On Oct 31, 2017 |
Go in when ready. Marriage can't be rushed else its gonna a load of sorrow and pain "you might win the ordeal" but at first it won't be easy. |
Re: My Girlfriend Hit Me With A Sudden News by Kofspice: 6:56pm On Nov 02, 2017 |
Re: My Girlfriend Hit Me With A Sudden News by smathias424: 7:45pm On Oct 30, 2019 |
You peoples English and penmanship is fucking horrible |
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