Hi nairalanders, I need help and not some stupid comedy that will only get me sad. Please say nothing if you have nothing to say. I am not trying to be rude but some nairalanders can be annoying.

Here is the issue :

I have been dating a girl for 4 years now ( November 20th this year would have been the 5th year ) but we have to call it quit mainly because my parents do not want her. Right from the first day my mom never liked her right but she stepped down at some stage.

We first saw each other November 20th 2005 but around August 2006 my mom claim she is not meant for me. She said her pastor said she is emere ( witch ). The pastor was given my number and he told me never to marry the girl that she is out to destory me.

Everything started happening when I, the girl and some of my friends were in my room one day. My friends were talking about how they messed up with girls of different colors and shape and my girlfriend had to leave the room and go to the parlour.

They noticed I was not talking and asked me to tell the my experience since my girl friend was no longer in the room but I told them I had no experience that I was a virgin. My younger sister was surprise and later called me outside to ask if it was true. I told her it was true that though girls can't seem to stop following me, I had nothing with them.

I told her the right girl hasn't come my way and that the current girl I am seeing does not want that for now ( I had the feeling she was the one then but she doesn't want anything before marriage ). To my surprise, it was in the same night that I caught my sister and my very good friend in the act.

I was mad, disappointed and betrayed and made the mistake of telling my girlfriend. She told me to keep it cool and never to disgrace her ( which is what I wanted to do ) but she never told me she was going to have a word with her. Having a word with her ( maybe ) made her get angry.

The same day, I decided to get some home videos to cool down. It was these films ( Yoruba films ) that I was watching in the parlour when my girlfriend came to join me even though she doesn't understand what they were saying in the tv as she is Igbo. She was seated on the same chair with me while my younger sister and 2 very young sisters of mine were also watching.

When the first dic finished, I asked my younger sister to change the disc but she said :

Can't your girlfriend ( I am not going to say her name cos some people may know me here ) stand up and change it? For christ sake, she was right in front of the tv and had the remote with her. I got angry and beat her up. She later twisted the story and told my parents I beat her because of the girl.

And that was were the problem started heavily and it was few days later or maybe a month later that the pastor issue came up but that did not stop us, we kept seeing but we made a bigger mistake :

We were seen each other and my mom knows about that. Along the line, my dad said he does not want to see her as well. Please note that my dad never objected to the relationship, he was the one that even made me hang on to the girl when the pastor issue came up.

Everything became tensed. My girl friend's friend tried to seduced on 3 occasions and because I did not allow her have her way, she started saying things about her friend and how she claim to be a virgil but she already had 365 kids for 730 men as a result of me making the mistake of telling my girlfriend what her friend was trying to do and she had to confront her about it.

I did my investigation and finally found out that the allegations were all false, she had no kid and she was a virgin ( more on her being a virgin ). We continued, along the line, my best friend died in a generator fire incident. The incident happened in my house but he died 7 days later.

I decided against my girlfriend's wish to stay with his family and offer whatever support I can offer to them as the boy was their bread winner ( we both yahoo boys but I am no longer a yahoo boy, I won't say more than that as some people here can easily figure who posted this if I had to tell my full yahoo yahoo story and how I stopped ) but they later changed and started saying I killed their son. I had to run away from the area to stay with a friend of mine. Meanwhile my girlfriend was supportive even when everything got bad even financially. I lost everything I had but she was with me.

One day, my parents came to check me with my friend cos I was sick and my girlfriend was around that day but we thought they did not see her. My friend alerted me and she had to run into the kitchen ( poor girl, she deserves more ) but they had already figured it and said all manner of things which she heard as she already started understanding yoruba.

That day we decided it was over and got emotional before we knew it, we had made love to each other and she was a virgin as the blood could not have been faked. My friend who knew what was going saw the blood on the bed sheet later and laughed about it as he was an experience womaniser.

Recently, she had some problems in school and did some nasty thing which I never approved ( she did not cheat on me ) and I decided we should call it off but I later understood why she had to do it as I believe any girl would have done same. We carried on but kept were having problems between us because there was this guy that always call her.

We both knew what the guy wanted but my girl friend said she had explained to him and he knows we have something going and that she will never date the guy but I messed up by yelling at her and being silly with her and that frustrated her. She said she wasn't sure of the relationship again and that we should go to a church ( must be catholic since she is one ) to pray to see if we are actually meant to be.

Her own elder sister had also said we are not meant to be together because her pastor had told her the same and that we should pray about everything before we make any long term decision.

She came down to Lagos, we went to a church to pray. We used 2 candles to stand as a point of contact. We said to GOD that if we are having the problems we are having because he does not want us to be, the candle on the right hand side should go off first while if we are meant for each other the candle on the right want should stay while that on the right should go off first.

The candle on the right hand side went off at a stage because nepa brought light and the candle at the right hand side went off and God told both of us that meant problems ( she said exactly what I wanted to say ) then I told God I had my doubts and he said there was going to be rain and there was rain ( I told the girl about what God said right before the rain ). We both doubted it and said the rain must stop if it is his will and the rain stopped immediately we got to the front of their gate.

We decided to involve our parents ( we were both frustrated especially after what her elder sister also said and needed to be sure if we are making the right decision ) her mom accepted to pray with us with the candles I had bought ( 8 of them, 2 for the girl, 2 for my mom, 2 for her mom and 2 for me ). I got home, gave the candles to my mom that I will tell her what to do by 12 am in the night.

When I told her, she said I should forget it, that whatever I do,the girl must have gone there to wait for me and that the decision can only favor her.  But I begged her to do it. To my surprise, what happened in the church happened in my house. The candle on the left and side both and the right hand was as if it was not burning at all.

But,

The girl's mom's candle both went off at the same time while the left hand side did not burn for the girl. Her mom prayed about everything and said no problem that we should only be strong. But days later,

I had a big fight with my dad and my mom because of the girl and they said all my of things and even cursing me ( I know it is not for me, I made the mistake of confronting them but I know the Lord knows it was a mistake and he has forgiven me ). I went to her parents, told them what happened and also told them that I was calling the relationship off as it was too much to bare for me.

They agreed with me, they said we should see what the Lord will do and the girl also agreed too. We said we should be off each other for the next 7 months. The girl also said she will never come back if my mom is not the one that called her to come back which I really doubt. I know my mom, I don't think she ca do such things. I know it is probably the end of everything, 7 months or no 7 months.

It is painful to take and that is why I am asking all nairalanders to help me.

How do I spend my time, I am not ready for any relationship but I don't want to live like a vegetable but at the same thing I don't know how to clear my head and concentrate again. Those who know what I can do, please advise me,

do you seriously expect folks to read this essay?

so you broke up because you are not a man yet big deal grow a pair and stop having your parents decide who you should marry or date. Also candles burning and not burning and you arguing with your parents because of a girl geez what is up with our folks

you need to move out get your own place live your own life and for real grow a set

pls break it down

too longgggggggggggggg

ehn

Hmmm

Hmmm

REALLY like omega25red said, grow a pair!!!
And no I am not insulting you just stating a fact. Forget the candles and the prayers. No man can make your decision for you. You have a choice so make it. Your parents are not going to leave in the mariage with you. Do you trust and respect her? Can you see your self with her 25 years down the road knowing that life will not be easy, but you will be there for each other? Remember that there is no gaurantee in marriage. Those that have the blessings of their parents have been knowing to part ways years later. So grow up and step up!

I aint reading all of that

I am sure the problem they have with ur girl is her ibo heritage. A lot of Yoruba and ibo parents are tribalistic dunno why sha. My own father has told his children that he will only accept Yoruba spouses for his children. I have not even bothered dating an ibo guy cos I know my father will say hell no if I take him home. Besides, I like my Yoruba men so nothing do me. If u love your ibo girl, stick with her, but it's always better to listen to ur parents sha cos at the end of the day, when everybody abandons u, ur immediate family will always be there for you. Not true in all cases, but true in most cases.

trully, long storry
just post the exact reason for the breakup
then u can get a serious response

Bro i read your story.But i would love to ask some question, How do your mom knew she was a WITCH??Can she prove it? Might it be dat it ur friend that died in generator accident maybe there family split u both, Or maybe there family dan do bad belle for u, Am also a Y boy and how can u sey u stop yy? omo d only way is for u to come back on ur system and forget ur sorrow.it will take you more than 3-4 mounth to forget dat shit.Anway still praying, Pls e-mail me pack personaly here because i would love to ask u personals questions?

And d title of the movie is,

If you broke up with your girlfriend when she never offended you, it simply means you are tire of her womanliness

too much parental involvement in your bedroom affairs, it never works
you might was well have your mother find you your next girlfriend

*yawns* tnk Gawd d essay don finish bt guy u'r sooo 4ny sha av bin laffn all thru esp @ d candle burnin part rminds me of eyi je eyi o je or mini mini mani mo. Bsids dn't u thnk ur story is rada lng probably more dn 350 wrds. U dn't catch pple's attentn wid a lng story lyk ds. Aw many pple do u xpect 2 read all ds. Am sure ur fingers must av gone numb as a result of d typin sef

nigerian movies are getting worse and worse these days. abeg somebody move this thing to the tv/movies section

lol KGdavid, you are mean.

^^honestly i was managing to follow him until he said his friend died in a generator fire at his house.

hey b u iyte jus passn by n shwn sme luv on ur page still ur a sexc ghanaian lol soz had to say lyk bre neeky lyk buh tru lol neho hpe u bless wats gd wiv u holla bk bless

That was a long read. I had to skip some parts,

But my heart goes out to you.

Leave 3rd, 4th, 5th and such wheels, out of your relationships. A man and a woman should know how to manage themselves without the rest of the world putting in their 5 cents.

Its you, yourself and your woman.

But the 7 months may be good for the both of you. Reassess it in 7 months. If she doesnt come back then well, its out of yoru hands and you have no choice but to move on. If she does and you do want to be with her, well then you've got your problem solved.

Really, that whole church thing,, classic! too funny.

Good luck.

omo this thing is really spiritual, but guy, 2 of u have gone thru alot so stick in there,

Guy, you have a complicated matter in your hands and i really feel your pain, it's hard to go through all these things and at the end of the day still not be able to achieve any positive thing from the relationship, here's one advise for you, the 7 months you gave yourself and the girl should be used to concentrate on yourself, try to build a mind of your own, literally draw the kinda home you want for yourself, who you want in your life, the kinda relationship you want from your parents and one more thing, the kinda memories you want to have.

Don't forget one thing, Parents play a vital role in their children's life, don't cut off your parents, i am talking from experience (1 of my elder bro), so try as much as possible to come to terms with your parents and her parents, let them understand what you want them to understand and if they refuse, let them know that if they don't want you happy, then they shouldn't support you, but if they want you to live a life of no regrets, then they should help you by supporting you and by directly you (accepting or rejecting with a more clear reason, not just the witch thing, something more meaningful).

i can't say more now, but one more thing, go close to God, let God take charge of your life.

Quite an entertaining story; you should know what to do.

Summary please!

it may surprise u to know that some parents connive with their pastors to ruin their childrens relationship. ask God to talk to you, we all have direct lines to God, its not just the duty of your pastor to hear from God.

candylips:

ehn

omega25red:

do you seriously expect folks to read this essay?

so you broke up because you are not a man yet big deal grow a pair and stop having your parents decide who you should marry or date. Also candles burning and not burning and you arguing with your parents because of a girl geez what is up with our folks

you need to move out get your own place live your own life and for real grow a set

thanx alot. you really understan this guy subtle plan of giving ppl reading work to do.

Don't have the time to start reading this long story!!!

I think your parents problem with her is because she's igbo! But for your mum to come up with a story about her being a witch. . .(especially the way the girl has stuck by you). . .is simply pathetic!

YOU NEED TO BE FIRM IN YOUR MIND AS A MAN. YOU ARE 2 DEPENDENT ON YOUR PARENTS. I'LL SAY THINGS SEEM TOO FAR GONE SO TAKE TIME OUT AND LOOK FOR SOMEONE ELSE.

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU GUYZ REALLY LOVED EACH OTHER SO I'M SAD IT DNT WORK OUT. LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES AND MAKE THE NEXT ONE WORK. REAL MEN HANDLE SITUATIONS AND MAKE BIG DECISIONS.
CAN YOU RULE A COUNTRY OR RUN A BIG COMPANY WITH MANY PEOLPE DEPENDENT ON YOU? DNT THINK SO. RAISE THE BAR U ARE A MAN.

I'LL SAY YOU GUYS ARE PRETTY INEXPERIENCED BUT WORSE STILL YOU NEED TO IMPROVE ON YOUR LEADERSHIP SKILL, HOW COME U DATED FOR SOLONG AND DNT SLEEP WITH HER TILL LATE? I'M NOT SAYING YOU SHOULD ALWAYS IMPOSE URSELF BUT LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE NOT DOMINANT AND CONTROLLING ENUFF FOR A MAN DATS Y U HAVE SO MUCH ISSUES WITH YOUR PARENTS,

KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND FACE LIFE IT COULD BE WORSE. SOME PEOPLE HAVE LOST LIMBS AND STILL MAKE GOOD OF THEMSELVES,

absurd. Are you not a man? Why are your parents pushing you around because your wife is igbo?

Reading stories like this make me appreciate my parents even more . . . they will accept any woman i bring (green, blue, indian or somalian) as long as she makes me happy.

davidylan:

absurd. Are you not a man? Why are your parents pushing you around because your wife is igbo?

he say him don marry?