akpunda86:
The calls from her family. Pissin me off,shouting I want to kill he.me I'm fed up with her seeing her passes me off.for my first daughter I'll see her soon. Calling me daddy on phone weakens me,since she broke my trust,ill soon go and see the kid and her mother.There is noting more to hide.

I have read all you said, Sir What is the problem with your wife telling her family ur secrets? haven't u dated b4? U need orientation about women n how to manage them.. I see u have feelings for ur BAby Mama.. I put it to u, else u won't thrraten threaten your wife that u would bring her back. As 4 d miscarriages, u need to be there for her, cos its not her fault, she wants to impress u n u r messing up big time . pls go n settle with her. I put it to u DAT it is d stress u putting her that's making her miscarry her baby. My advise: Stop hurting her n ur self with confrontation , words. U can discuss with her to let ur daughter visit u once a month. pls pray for ur wife n make peace else your prayers , all of it will be hindered .

Omigie Oshor

KreativGenius:



It happened to me some years ago, i acted in anger, damaged things, things got irreparable. I decided to investigate and prayed, omo the lady didn't remember what she did, in fact, she repeated it ten time she didn't remember, but out of anger, things got destroyed. The things entered her to act badly, entered me to react badly, it was after a week i found out it was engineered to split us, bros, things are real. She didn't remember anything she did or said. All these spirit husbands and wives scattering relationships

Nigerians and their archaic beliefs sha..

Spirit husband kor, Demon husband ni!

With what i am reading right now, if truly it is real, you are a sadist. You can't stay with your former girl friend either. Marriage is not about fault finding. It is about agape love. No one is perfect including you.

francizy:
Nigerians and their archaic beliefs sha..

Spirit husband kor, Demon husband ni!

Don't mind us o jare.
Many of us are living in the 21st century with modern gadgets, smartphones, internet etc but our minds still belong to the Dark Ages!


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Billyonaire:


Hahahahahaha.

Did you read my laughter ? Well, you are funny. Because there is nothing to worry about and you have just destroyed your marriage just for the sake of your ego.

What the fucck is wrong with having kids whether in wedlock or out of wedlock since you guys have named marriage to be a wedlock ?

A woman has miscarried 9 times for you and you are not feeling guilt ? Can you even handle miscarriage once in your life without throwing tantrums ? You have virtually destroyed the woman and she is fed up. How can we tell that you are not fuccking your ex-girlfriend and mother of your child and this is making your brain soft.

Sit your asss down and be a man of the house and not some cry baby and know that a child is never a mistake whether in a marriage or outside marriage cos marriage a Human invention to maintain peaceful biological partnership but you can choose to be single and still make bodies for spirit to dwell on.

Call your wife and apologize for your weakness and let your child visit you once in a while. You must come to terms with the fact that you have a wonderful child and tell all friends and wife family that you had a child before marriage. I wonder why you hide your offspring for the sake of marriage, cos for me, a child is way up on the ladder of priority than marriage.

This is a fact you will learn as you become more intelligent than you are now. Your wife did nothing wrong in exposing your fatherhood, you are feeling sad cos your ego is leading you astray from being human to being what ever I can not describe. Which sane man will hide his own child for the sake of marriage.

You guys should stop being ignorant of laws of nature.

Very well said

akpunda86:
I had a child out of wedlock and when i met my wife, I told her and the mum and they said okay, five years into our marriage my wife told the sister, in fact all my secrets with my wife, the sister knows.

Not that she did it in private but made a call to her in my presence, was my life secret with her but now her whole family knows, even if they know bf, no problem but now making me to know they know, I just hate her.

The love i had for her died immediately, I see more as a room mate now as she irritates me, our kid just bond between us.

What happened......what is cause of problem, it's a pity but she has had 9 miscarriages and i told her I'm tired of hearing that news, well she flared up and said she be packing out, any small problem she packs her bag well i told her if she packs, i will go and bring my ex gf and daughter bk.

My marriage to her was a mistake, I'm just hating her everyday cos the worst i hate is my in-laws meddling in my affairs, Am i the first guy to have a kid out of wedlock, then why she threatening me.

For five years I have not seen my daughter but now i will, if my wife wants to go, she is free to go.

You did the right thing seeking advice, that's obviously cos you want to do the right thing and you still feel something for you wife, no matter how little.
Miscarriages are caused by certain factors, could be physical, psychological, or even spiritual.
No marriage in the world is free from challenges, i can tell from my personal experience but it's better having other marital issues than having issues with your wife cos no matter the issue, you and wifey can overcome if you are united.
I think that's the part you need to work on, improve on the friendship with your wife and communication is extremely important.
Prayer is the key, but you both have work to do. Have a heart to heart talk with her, if she's ready to continue, you both can pull through.
The trauma of loosing a child is bad for a man, but trust me it's worse for the woman.
Finally, love isn't enough to sustain marriage when it matters the most. Little things like playing together, making her laugh at least ten times daily, helping her out with chores, praying together, sure it will change. And may God himself strengthen you both.
Cheers.

For starters, anything personal between you and your wife should not be on social media, social media is the wrongest place to dish your personal information. Everyone will give a different answers that will suit or may not suit you and that is when confusion starts. Why not take your situation to reasonable ,respected married couples/elders/ mentors that you know and they can give you a reasonable advice. Do not make decision in a rash, if you do , you may look back and have regrets and be prayerful if you are a Christian.

akpunda86:
Just answer me is it right. For a wife to divulge hubby secrets to an elderly sista.

I'm a consultant. To her uncle firm and she dry threaten me by placing prank calls. To her uncle.

We were advised to remove a dead foetus but my wife carried it for weeks and went with the sista to oyedepo.prayed for her still na me carry her go hospital. For evacuation. My words don't. Stand na her family. But now her eye open,i want her to go she no gree.im tired of threats.

Eyah. I think ur wife is under stress & is depressed. U never know how anyone will act under pressure. Trust me, miscarriage is a lot of pressure. And having it back to back is just brutal. Shes losing her mind. Its not easy.

And maybe through all this ur support for her is waning, or you dont tell her u love her anymore. Or u are not interested in helping her get a solution to her problem. Shes now insecure. It doesnt help dt uve had a child before wt another woman and then LEFT.

She thinks ull leave her. Shes now projecting all her thoughts on u and acting out what she thinks u want (send her away), even before u say it.

Im telling u all u need to do is show her some affection, assure her of ur love for her & dt ull get through d challenges together & she will change. It will be like magic. Happy wife Happy life.

Ps - she needs to go to a proper hospital dt deals with fertility problems. Theyll put her on aspirin and possibly do a circlage (not sure of d word) to prevent her miscarriages.

RETIREDMUMU:
just dump her sorry ass

she says every inch of ur secret with ur inlaw and u call that one wife


just go Bring back your first love with her daughter and kick that one out of ur life

Marriage isn't like that. You don't walk in and walk out because one or two things you don't like are happening in your marriage....you don't walk out because your ego got bruised. He made the choice to marry her...he's got to look for a way to fix the marriage and remain there.

If he was fortunate to see all these traits during courtship, he could have opted out. But not now.

Billyonaire:


Hahahahahaha.

Did you read my laughter ? Well, you are funny. Because there is nothing to worry about and you have just destroyed your marriage just for the sake of your ego.

What the fucck is wrong with having kids whether in wedlock or out of wedlock since you guys have named marriage to be a wedlock ?

A woman has miscarried 9 times for you and you are not feeling guilt ? Can you even handle miscarriage once in your life without throwing tantrums ? You have virtually destroyed the woman and she is fed up. How can we tell that you are not fuccking your ex-girlfriend and mother of your child and this is making your brain soft.

Sit your asss down and be a man of the house and not some cry baby and know that a child is never a mistake whether in a marriage or outside marriage cos marriage a Human invention to maintain peaceful biological partnership but you can choose to be single and still make bodies for spirit to dwell on.

Call your wife and apologize for your weakness and let your child visit you once in a while. You must come to terms with the fact that you have a wonderful child and tell all friends and wife family that you had a child before marriage. I wonder why you hide your offspring for the sake of marriage, cos for me, a child is way up on the ladder of priority than marriage.

This is a fact you will learn as you become more intelligent than you are now. Your wife did nothing wrong in exposing your fatherhood, you are feeling sad cos your ego is leading you astray from being human to being what ever I can not describe. Which sane man will hide his own child for the sake of marriage.

You guys should stop being ignorant of laws of nature.

God bless you.

akpunda86:
I had a child out of wedlock and when i met my wife, I told her and the mum and they said okay, five years into our marriage my wife told the sister, in fact all my secrets with my wife, the sister knows.

Not that she did it in private but made a call to her in my presence, was my life secret with her but now her whole family knows, even if they know bf, no problem but now making me to know they know, I just hate her.

The love i had for her died immediately, I see more as a room mate now as she irritates me, our kid just bond between us.

What happened......what is cause of problem, it's a pity but she has had 9 miscarriages and i told her I'm tired of hearing that news, well she flared up and said she be packing out, any small problem she packs her bag well i told her if she packs, i will go and bring my ex gf and daughter bk.

My marriage to her was a mistake, I'm just hating her everyday cos the worst i hate is my in-laws meddling in my affairs, Am i the first guy to have a kid out of wedlock, then why she threatening me.

For five years I have not seen my daughter but now i will, if my wife wants to go, she is free to go.

My brother listen to me. You see, every marriage has it's own problem. There will always be this point in marriage it seems u have hit a blind point, a point u think it is the end of the marriage. This is a point God want your marriage to be stronger and that will be the point God will be willing to make you excel in that relationship. Also, this is a point devil want to destroy you cos he has seen the light God want to shine in your marriage.

I am telling you this out of my own experience. I once had an issue like this with my wife and I was ready to divorce her. I went to her ppl told them i am no longer marrying. I told my ppl d same. They were all begging me and i was not ready to listen cos i belivd i was right and was only seeing the pains she caused me. For all the years we are married, we never had another party interfering wt our problems but this particular one i was just ready to let everyone come in.

But as God would have it, His Spirit entered me and I mellowed down and the issue was resolved. Now, we are stronger and making wonderful achievements, babies coming at will. Imagine what devil wanted to deny us.

My dear, u may be hurt, yes you are but remember your wife may be feeling hurt or a kind of pain in the other hand. Yes, to you her pain may be unjustified or irrelevant, but the fact is that she is pained by something no matter how u view what is making her angry. Every pain needs to be addressed. You are the man of the house. One expected to be more matured. Now is the time to test if you are really matured to handle family issues. Bear your pains and try to heal hers first and I bet u, she will forever respect you.

Don't listen to anyone telling you dat "If say na me ehnn, I will not take it ooo." Let that person wait when it will be him/her.

For the serial miscarriage, don't blame her for that. No woman will intentionally miscarry her baby. U failed in handling that issue maturely. How can u tell ur wife u are tired of hearing the stories of her miscarriage. Do you think that u feel more pains than her. U think because u have a baby out there which u can go and pick up, u think u are better off. Have u guys sort for good medical attention for the cause of her miscarriage. What if your sperm is not compatible with her egg? Guy, abeg go back to that beautiful woman and groom her to be what you want her to be.

Anyone feeling that he/she will be better off wen a family problems come up is like any community thinking that they have more weapons and young men and was calling for war. Wen it starts, u will have things to lose likewise the other.

Thanks.

Serious.

Op, what makes you think your ex gf or another woman wont be worse than your wife?
Moreso, telling her you'll bring in ur ex is a terrible thing to say to a woman who has carried 10pregnancies nd only succesfully bring forth 1child for only you.
As regards your e matter its obvious you are a trouble maker bringing in to shame your wife.
9miscarriages can make any sane woman a nag nd an insane woman.
As regards ur child outside wedlock I'm trying really hard to know why you are keeping the child a secret. Is anything wrong with the child?

KreativGenius:



If the guy goes to his wife in this form, and something happens, God forbid, i won't talk. I've learnt from my own error not to do anything with a woman when i'm angry. I'm sure when the oP calms down, as a man, he will find answers on how to deal with the situation on his own without help, the anger and frustration just has to subside first so he can think clearly, and act wisely.

The man is freaking annoying! So she told her family about his other kid? So, what? For how long did he expect to hide it? And I'm pretty sure he pushed her to the wall. Now, he's ranting that she'll see more kids out of wedlock. What a man!

ariklawani:
You are on point.

crazy world we leave in

Oma307:
you need marriage experts on this

agreed

akpunda86:
I had a child out of wedlock and when i met my wife, I told her and the mum and they said okay, five years into our marriage my wife told the sister, in fact all my secrets with my wife, the sister knows.

Not that she did it in private but made a call to her in my presence, was my life secret with her but now her whole family knows, even if they know bf, no problem but now making me to know they know, I just hate her.

The love i had for her died immediately, I see more as a room mate now as she irritates me, our kid just bond between us.

What happened......what is cause of problem, it's a pity but she has had 9 miscarriages and i told her I'm tired of hearing that news, well she flared up and said she be packing out, any small problem she packs her bag well i told her if she packs, i will go and bring my ex gf and daughter bk.

My marriage to her was a mistake, I'm just hating her everyday cos the worst i hate is my in-laws meddling in my affairs, Am i the first guy to have a kid out of wedlock, then why she threatening me.

For five years I have not seen my daughter but now i will, if my wife wants to go, she is free to go.

Why on earth will you be hiding your daughter existence. Who does that? You should be proud of your daughter and be ready to show her any day any time.
What is your problem set? Be a man and be in charge of your home.

I find it difficlut to believe you are faithful to your wife. It won't surprise me if you are seeing your ex and you guys are still having intimacy.

Good for you now, you have a child and a wife to run back to, but this lady has non aside her family and now you are complainning about her telling her family.
Uncle, I think you marry this your wife because of something best known to you and now that she is having miscarriage you want to laeve her? is it her fault? only God know the cause of her miscarriage self.
Leave her if you want to leave her abegi, you kunkun don waste 5years of her life. Let her go and she will marry someone that will love and and go back to your baba mama.

akpunda86:
The calls from her family. Pissin me off,shouting I want to kill he.me I'm fed up with her seeing her passes me off.for my first daughter I'll see her soon. Calling me daddy on phone weakens me,since she broke my trust,ill soon go and see the kid and her mother.There is noting more to hide.

Ladies please im sorry, yeah i bleeped up,i posted this post when i was angry ,yeah she has apologised but the nagging continues,Please i never hide from my wife that i have a kid out of wed lock please,i Told her and the mother before i proposed,im not ashamed either that i have a baby out of wedlock,but she uses it against me with the family,that is my problem,every small wahala, she don dey call the sisters,my people,interfereance is good in marriage but not in domestic affairs.what made me mad was that my little daugther called me and we were speaking on phone,she flamed and called the sister,next she said was that its not only one kid i have outside marriage.

Sisters,Brothers,i have erred yes by not seeing my daughter for five years,we speak every day, i send money regularly but there is a but there,thou ill be with her this xmas.

FOR THE LADIES THAT ARE OFFENDED IM SORRY,FOR THE MEN IM SORRY BUT /??

a problem between hubby and wife can be settled bw them and not by third parties,thats my prob but she now promised no more third parties.let me hope so.

akpunda86:
What genesis genesis is that she has a loud voice and when she shouts irritates and pass me off.

I have a child out of wedlock is a secret between. She and i.i don't want no third party.but now her whole family knows,cool she will see more of kids out of wedlock.i just want her out of my life. I'm fed up

You are just angry. No be today. When the vex simmer down, you will grab her ass and give her another belle
Its called make up sex.

. Why should a kid outside wedlock be a secret? Now you want her out of your life? Both of you have anger issues. You need to settle down and talk about it. As a matured man, you need to ask her why she is so angry, let her open up and rant until she runs out of steam, hear her out, then hold her and tell her you are sorry and make her melt into ur arms, then u can tell her what is also pissing u off. She will also apologise, and you guys will screw till daybreak and come out looking like puppies. Then the whole world will be your enemies, it will be 2 of you against the world.

You are a man, you should have your wife's mumu button. If you don't have it, you are a learner. I.can bet your wife doesn't nag more than I do. I'm a pro expert at nagging, but somehow my oga has my mumu remote control and all he has to do is press 'mute'.

This is almost a decade of marriage speaking. Everyday, its one step at a time

Oyindidi:
Sharrap you scum!! You are so full of yourself, what are you that you cannot be corrected? Get lost!!!! Fooooooool

Haba did the guy offend you?
This is so very rude. Are you the one to correct him? and is this how they correct people in your family?
This is his family and his own home, his issues are with his wife, family and inlaws and not with you
is it your problem? why are you taking it personal?
Are you sure you are ok?
If you dont have anything constructive or reasonable to tell him, then you should just shut up, read the thread and continue with whatever problem is disturbing you

akpunda86:
Ladies please im sorry, yeah i bleeped up,i posted this post when i was angry ,yeah she has apologised but the nagging continues,Please i never hide from my wife that i have a kid out of wed lock please,i Told her and the mother before i proposed,im not ashamed either that i have a baby out of wedlock,but she uses it against me with the family,that is my problem,every small wahala, she don dey call the sisters,my people,interfereance is good in marriage but not in domestic affairs.what made me mad was that my little daugther called me and we were speaking on phone,she flamed and called the sister,next she said was that its not only one kid i have outside marriage.

Sisters,Brothers,i have erred yes by not seeing my daughter for five years,we speak every day, i send money regularly but there is a but there,thou ill be with her this xmas.

FOR THE LADIES THAT ARE OFFENDED IM SORRY,FOR THE MEN IM SORRY BUT /??

a problem between hubby and wife can be settled bw them and not by third parties,thats my prob but she now promised no more third parties.let me hope so.

Read my recommendations above.

@dessydemmy you are funny my ex noting between us ok,have not seen her for years ,thou she calls ok , for my wife please note and dont misquote me,true we had some miscarriages,but we are blessed also with a sweet baby girl,when you type and talk,reason maturedly if what i am passing thru is nice,MAY IT BE YOUR PORTION TOO WHEN YOU SETTLE DOWN.

akpunda86:
I had a child out of wedlock and when i met my wife, I told her and the mum and they said okay, five years into our marriage my wife told the sister, in fact all my secrets with my wife, the sister knows.

Not that she did it in private but made a call to her in my presence, was my life secret with her but now her whole family knows, even if they know bf, no problem but now making me to know they know, I just hate her.

The love i had for her died immediately, I see more as a room mate now as she irritates me, our kid just bond between us.

What happened......what is cause of problem, it's a pity but she has had 9 miscarriages and i told her I'm tired of hearing that news, well she flared up and said she be packing out, any small problem she packs her bag well i told her if she packs, i will go and bring my ex gf and daughter bk.

My marriage to her was a mistake, I'm just hating her everyday cos the worst i hate is my in-laws meddling in my affairs, Am i the first guy to have a kid out of wedlock, then why she threatening me.

For five years I have not seen my daughter but now i will, if my wife wants to go, she is free to go.

Mr man, just listen to yourself speaking...
1. "My marriage to her was a mistake"
2. "For five years i have not seen my daughter but now, I will. If my wife wants to go, she is free to go"

What the hell is wrong with some people for Christ sake? How can you leave with a woman you claimed your marriage to her was a mistake for good five years?
Anyways, based on your headline and your last sentence you've made up your my mind on what to do already, so why dragging space with meaningful headlines/topics on nairaland?

See op that is not looking for 3rd party
But he ran to Nairaland
Involving 50parties while his wife only involved 3rd party.lol

Oga
U are as guilty as your wife
You both should sit down n handle your problem
Stop being mean and using hurtful words

If you are tired
Separate for a while

eroticboy:

Haba did the guy offend you?
This is so very rude. Are you the one to correct him? and is this how they correct people in your family?
This is his family and his own home, his issues are with his wife, family and inlaws and not with you
is it your problem? why are you taking it personal?
Are you sure you are ok?
If you dont have anything constructive or reasonable to tell him, then you should just shut up, read the thread and continue with whatever problem is disturbing you

Do you know what it takes to experience miscarriage and be strong? I had one and I cried and mourned for months. Here is a woman that went through it 9 times and her silly husband was bold to tell her he's done with her stories. I am speaking as a woman who knows what it takes to suffer miscarriage. To crown it all, he has a child.
Those words were harsh but I said that cos he is insensitive

dominique:
You yourself are you a saint?

You got a girl pregnant, abandoned her and went on to marry someone else. As if that's not bad enough, you have not set eyes on your own child, your flesh and blood for a whopping five years! You totally deserve what you're facing in your marriage right now.

I know the kind of trauma that comes with miscarriage, having nine miscarriages in five years can definitely take it's toll on the body and mind. How supportive were you all through her ordeal? Do you think she's not also tired of all the miscarriages that you have to tell it to her face? Your insensitivity is second to none.

As for your in-laws meddling in your marriage, you opened the doors for them to meddle by being dependent on them. You'll just have to deal with it by manning up and politely telling them that their interference is affecting your marriage.

If you take your time, analyse where you went wrong, get some counselling and bare your mind to her. If it doesn't work, them you can try a temporary separation, sometimes absence does make the heart grow fonder. If all doesn't work, wish yourselves well and go your separate ways.

Best comment ever. well written.

SO FUNNY THE WAY YOU TALK. Now I know your level of thinking, wishing someone what you are passing through. CASE CLOSE ON YOUR CASE. YOU NEED HELP URGENTLY.

akpunda86:
@dessydemmy you are funny my ex noting between us ok,have not seen her for years ,thou she calls ok , for my wife please note and dont misquote me,true we had some miscarriages,but we are blessed also with a sweet baby girl,when you type and talk,reason maturedly if what i am passing thru is nice,MAY IT BE YOUR PORTION TOO WHEN YOU SETTLE DOWN.

Marshalxv:
Men be ranting more than women these days .

How long do you think you can keep your child a secret ? that truth must surely come to light someday Mr man ,so deal with it .

From all your rants here its cristal clear the kind of husband you are .

you've publicly passed judgment on yourself as the bad egg by your post .

your wife is hereby cleared of all accusations u leveled against her

hahahaha!oga you be lawyer?

akpunda86:
I don hear una. Comments I be mumu,i be weak man,i be monkey,i be gold digger.thanks all,have filtered the good advice and trashed the bad ones.Thanks all.

Sorry bro, NL can be like that sometimes

omoharry:
hahahaha!oga you be lawyer?

About to become .

akpunda86:
What genesis genesis is that she has a loud voice and when she shouts irritates and pass me off.

I have a child out of wedlock is a secret between. She and i.i don't want no third party.but now her whole family knows,cool she will see more of kids out of wedlock.i just want her out of my life. I'm fed up

Get lost, u think u can come here and talk rubbish about me shai, stupid man that goes around sleeping with anything on skirt. Why did u not tell na iraland people that apart from ur previous child had, u had another after our marriage but all u do is to eat the child in my womb. Bring it on, I'm ready for u. U will meet me at home