madlady:

@Poster pls add this to your list " inapporaite lewd sexual comments" in public to impress his/her friends.

That does it for me. And hitting. (iv never been hit before oo, im just saying)

@ Poster, it is a great write up.
I wish to state it here that some men NAG too not only women. MY partner is a very tidy and neat man and i mean tidy. Whenever I visit(we are getting married in a month's time), i try to tidy and sweep up the house but it can never be done perfectly. Woe betide me if i move anytin 1 centimeter away fromm where he usually keeps it. He will talk and talk and talk about it- is that not called NAGGING.
But i thank God for marriage classes that has taught us to accomodate and try to mould our partners in a subtle way. He is changing.

I also have cause to believe that before a woman nags, there must be a reason for it. Have the men tried to make amends to things or situations that make their women nag. So my dear, it is a two way thing.

The "where are you" question is usually a valid one cos most men feel their partners don't have to know where they are all the time but they will wish to have the women's timetable to the minutes.

When women ask they only want to know where you are and if you are ok cos for Christ's sake they are answerable to your families if anytin happens. They are the ones that will be questioned first of all.
So men please learn to be free with your wives and communicate some more with them, it is to everybody's benefit especially that of your relationship. [color=#006600][/color]

Marriage classes is good but the personality involved is what matters. before u say " I DO", pls make sure u make him understand how much u detest his "perfect" nature. It is only when someone sees himself as a perfect being in some areas that he/she nags.

Marriage is quite different from courtship, love is not enough, it can only help u to manage.

I overlooked such issue while i was courting believing hubby would overcome it but no, its something i have to live with and believe u me its not an easy situation to deal with. with the children and other people who may not know how to keep his rules, u become mesirable all day trying to make everyone behave according to his taste yet, there would be complaints.

Most men in this category are generally nice if u can keep their standard but what of other people around you. can they?

For me Nagging kills any relationship cos it gets one confused and less initiative.

@ Hotlips


Marriage classes is good but the personality involved is what matters. before u say " I DO", pls make sure u make him understand how much u detest his "perfect" nature. It is only when someone sees himself as a perfect being in some areas that he/she nags.

Marriage is quite different from courtship, love is not enough, it can only help u to manage.

I overlooked such issue while i was courting believing hubby would overcome it but no, its something i have to live with and believe u me its not an easy situation to deal with. with the children and other people who may not know how to keep his rules, u become mesirable all day trying to make everyone behave according to his taste yet, there would be complaints.

Most men in this category are generally nice if u can keep their standard but what of other people around you. can they?

For me Nagging kills any relationship cos it gets one confused and less initiative.

Ninapha:

@ Hotlips


Marriage classes is good but the personality involved is what matters.  before u say " I DO", pls make sure u make him understand how much u detest his "perfect" nature. It is only when someone sees himself as a perfect being in some areas that he/she nags.

Marriage is quite different from courtship,  love is not enough, it can only help u to manage. 

I overlooked such issue while i was courting believing hubby would overcome it but no, its something i have to live with and believe u me its not an easy situation to deal with.  with the children and other people who may not know how to keep his rules, u become mesirable all day trying to make everyone behave according to his taste yet, there would be complaints.

Most men in this category are generally nice if u can keep their standard but what of other people around you. can they?

For me Nagging kills any relationship cos it gets one confused and less initiative.

gbam.

whoever make these things up.

The 10 Reasons may be totally different in Nigeria.
Most of the reasons for breaking up relationships among Whites are different from Blacks in Africa.

The reasons are also different in India, China and Australia.

Cultures affect human relationships.

1. Not Answering the Phone:

When a man doesn't answer the phone, especially at certain times of the day, it causes suspicion in a woman’s mind.

what if the man doesn't answer some calls when you are with him? [color=#990000][/color]

editted

1. Not Answering the Phone:

When a man doesn't answer the phone, especially at certain times of the day, it causes suspicion in a woman’s mind.

what if the man doesn't answer some calls when you are with him?

the question is do you trust him ? cos if you dont you can spin anything to make it look bad .

Pittbaby:


the question is do you trust him ? cos if you dont you can spin anything to make it look bad .

sometimes its the way the woman tries to make it look like she knows it all and her counsel is the only one,

r231: guy u are good.
we need more lectures

^^^^^thanx

Well, for me the worst one is not living up to your word. I must say I really hate it when my bf promises something of his own volition, then goes back on it and offers excuses for it. I have had this problem with my guy and I have just asked him to stop promising me. If he wants to do something, just do it, because it makes me look at him differently.

At least, if he decides not to do something I was never expecting, no harm done, and its better all round because I cant forget a broken word.

To me, someone who habitually breaks his/her words can easlily lie too.

I know I have a few of those flaws on the list, I over - analyse almost everything but I do make sure I apologise afterwards and take ownership of MY OWN ISSUE. I wouldn't say I nag, but my BF would say I complain alot sometimes. However my BF does some outrageous things and just expects it to be alright.

I agree with the space thing, I need my own space from time to time. Its good to miss your partner sometimes, it reminds you that you are there because of choice and not because he/she is all up in your face.

One clause
Two words
Literally means "if you're a 1 then fcu it, you're a 1"
--> "BE REAL!!!"

A man should have some space!!! I love dis part. Me and my woman are so much in love but sometimes she cant udstand why i just need to be left alone(probably to contemplate what i have gotten myself into lol!!!) she seems to think anytime we are around each other,we should be in each other's arms. Women!!!!!

Echidime:

Lack of showing true love,by refusing to suck your partner sometimes,your partner may love sucking of his or her private part than direct penetration,so stop refusing him or her that, give it to him or her sometimes.

That is the secret of ever lasting relationship

is that all?

naaging? any man hates that and i will say that is not romantic at all.

i used 2 wish i had a gal 2 nag me a lil bit, always b by my side and give me a nice(sweeeeeet) time but when i got more than i bargained for, it bcame totally annoying.

msb247:

i used 2 wish i had a gal 2 nag me a lil bit, always b by my side and give me a nice(sweeeeeet) time but when i got more than i bargained for, it bcame totally annoying.

how in the world wud you wish for that??

I think this is a good wrire-up

@ Poster; Good write up

@Topic: Brilliant of the OP!  May I add some hints and other perspectives? My personal opinions.

Things the guys do:
1. Not answering the Phone: If you are simply unable to pick the call, send an auto-responder message (most phones have this. You can prepare one that reads something sweet). In either case, even if you were not with the phone, make sure you call back and don't wait for her to ask why you didn't pick up the phone initially.

2. Walk your talk: Sincerely, this is one reason I hardly make promises, because my principle is to always do more than is expected. If I have a slight idea that it may not work the way I planned, I just work at it transparently and possibly give her a healthy surprise afterwards.

3. Learn to say "I Don't Know": LOLz I have heard from many gals that this pisses them off. Personally, I don't see why guys shouldn't be able to say they don't know, if they don't. I do that a lot.

4. Hogging the Remote: This one cracked me up. It's strong evidence for a selfish bent on life, and I think the lady should have noticed it during courtship. A remotely (no pun intended) related situation is when the man always complains that he can't eat the soup prepared yesterday, i.e. refridgerated and defrosted then warmed. (You expect her to cook soup everyday!? Some men actually do this, it's appalling!)

5. Bringing Up Weight: Weight is, for me, an issue (I don't even have ANY friends with above average weight, no discrimination though. It's just subconscious). The best way to do this is to NOT make reference to the weight but you make sure you hit the gym together. Seeing that you care about her fitness to make sure you work out together from time to time will even spur her on to keep herself fit for you. Works for me.

The 5 things above don't apply to me, but one that I know that applies is the fact that my ex-gal said I was too nice and accessible to other gals. It's not a thing of insecurity on her part, though, but some gals NEVER get the hint of territorial space around someone else's guy. Some of them ignore the fact that a guy is already in a relationship, and they start getting fresh with him either way. Many guys do almost nothing to solve this problem, and some guys (like me) worsen it by casually flirting with them, with no further intents. She hinted that I was very prone to flirting and passing sweet words around, even at strangers, and even though I wasn't hitting on them or considering infidelity, I was just like that. I'm working on it, though! 

Things the Ladies do:
1. The “WHERE ARE YOU” question. Well I dislike that question as well, but most times I make sure she knows where I am, within the first few seconds of the call. It's called accountability, and it's actually remotely related to love  . But because of cases where I can't talk or something, we have secret codes that we use to define things like "I can't talk right now", "The person you are asking about is here, and shouldn't hear me talking about him/her", "Please round off the call now and I will call you back within 30 minutes". These secret codes are simple words like "London bridge", which would never let an observer on the other end have any idea. Only works with trust, though, cos it can be abused in infidelity. 

2. The “Who You Talking To” question. Darn! I dislike this one as well. Actually, I make it a point of duty to mention the person's name while on the phone, if I'm with her. That keeps things transparent without me having to say after the call "Oh, that was Leticia, my brother's colleague" or waiting for her to ask me who that was. After all, she knows almost all of my friends at least by name. 

3. Nagging. MEHN! This hen-pecking, I just can't stand! I will simply switch off for hours, as she is gradually corroding the atmosphere of communication between us. I believe pointing out a fact ONCE is enough, unless the partner is a simpleton, mentally retarded, dyslexic or suffers amnesia. Ladies, I personally don't see any guy who ever changed by nagging. It's a waste of time. Some guys nag too, and it's plain irritating when I see a couple of friends nagging their siblings or nagging at their girlfriends. 

4. Holding a Grudge.  Importing last week's concluded argument into this week's episode so much reeks of the soap operas! LOLz. This used to upset me, but recently I handle this by just ignoring any reference to any expired arguments or settled grudges. But if it's fresh, I will break my back to resolve it if possible. Who has time to live inside yesterday? 

5. Allowing a Man Time to Breathe. Aha! This one is funny. For ladies whose guys are like this, learn to take hints and read body language. When a guy starts answering in grunts and few syllables, he's either physically tired (e.g. just back from work) or emotionally tired (you need to give him space to focus on something else and rebuild his chi). To be candid, I feel most guys are rarely motivated enough outside a challenging environment that they can't control so when they return home they want to "breathe" in their comfort zone, and not "deal with" another challenge in form of a woman (since they are in control there). I'm never like this because I feel independent inside me like 100% of the time and I'm almost always motivated. So I never feel suffocated around my gal! Call me woman-wrapper, but who cares? LOLz 

Let me add one to the "things Gals do" list:
It is too bad if a girl listens to her friends against what the man who really loves her tells her. That is so OFF! 

^^^^^nice one mehn

r231:

^^^^^nice one mehn

Thanks bro! Sorry for the epistle, though. LOL

for the men its not good to indulge a woman in her attitude. if ur gf, or wife has done or is doing something wrong, call their attention to it and dont continue to ignore it because in the long run it wil affect the relationship which might lead to break up, cheating.

for the women because your man doesnt pick faults with somethings you do knowing fully well are wrong doesnt mean he didnt notice it. so always try to do the right things and dont just assume that because he hasnt talked or mentioned it, he is fine with it. he might just be keeping it inside of him , and playing his own game on the side without you knowing.

Well, for me the worst one is not living up to your word. I must say I really hate it when my bf promises something of his own volition, then goes back on it and offers excuses for it. I have had this problem with my guy and I have just asked him to stop promising me. If he wants to do something, just do it, because it makes me look at him differently.

At least, if he decides not to do something I was never expecting, no harm done, and its better all round because I cant forget a broken word.
To me, someone who habitually breaks his/her words can easlily lie too.
I know I have a few of those flaws on the list, I over - analyse almost everything but I do make sure I apologise afterwards and take ownership of MY OWN ISSUE.

We think alike o.
I just cant stand it. Habitually make promises you never keep? Then you compound the problem by coming up with ridiculous excuses? It's very hard to look at that person with respect.

@ Poster - I can relate with what your husband-to-be does. He is not an obsessive-compulsive person. Its just something men sometimes do when we're scared of our space being 'invaded' by another person. I've acted this way in the past with my girlfriend, sisters and friends who stay over. But as per relationships you may want to sit and talk to him and ensure there are no underlying issues he's bottling up inside. Choose a quiet happy moment when you're together and cosy then ask gently. Once things are straightened out this behaviour should gradually disappear. Marriage is not the type to fix this. Fix this NOW

@ibabalol.
(I dunno whether ud even see this reply) no its not Igbinedion, its UNIBEN.

cool.you are right to a certain level but it does not apply to all,

I detest hesitance in relationships, having prolonged periods of second thoughts and all the while expecting ur erstwhile partner to wait patiently 4 you to self examine, all at the other's expense. Silly, you think you need time apart say so, don't string people along on a sad ride.

true that poster!!!!

@Parnassuss: You are absolutely correct! Both guys and ladies are guilty of that but its guys I hear complaining more often on this point.