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10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships - Romance - Nairaland

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10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by r231(m): 11:01am On Mar 24, 2010
Everyone is always talking about what people lack in relationships and why they don't last, but what about the things people do consistently that destroy relationships. A list that gives 10 reasons that men and women will walk away and it does NOT include cheating.


Top 5 Things Men Do that Destroy Relationships:

1. Not Answering the Phone:

When a man doesn't answer the phone, especially at certain times of the day, it causes suspicion in a woman’s mind.

2. Walk Your Talk:

If a man says he is going to do something, then he needs to make sure that he does it. Don’t give empty promises.

3. Learn to say “I Don't Know”:

When it comes to a mans ego, they cant stand to say “I DON'T KNOW!!!” Women cant stand when a man thinks he knows EVERYTHING!!! Its okay to “Google it” if you don't know.

4. Hogging the Remote:

When a man just takes complete control over the TV, it’s a simple sign that a man is not interested in the things that his woman likes. Watching sports is cool but not 24\7.

5. Bringing Up Weight:

A woman doesn't need her man to constantly remind her that she needs to hit the gym. A woman realizes that she has gained a few pounds when the 1st pound hits. Also by a man always bringing up a woman's weight, it makes it seem that all he cares about is the way she looks and not what she has to offer.



Top 5 Things Women Do to Destroy Relationships:

1. The “WHERE ARE YOU” question:

When a woman calls a man and the first thing she ask him is “WHERE ARE YOU” That is annoying. If the woman is asking for a specific reason then thats understandable but to ask a man who all the time shows that a woman doesn't trust her man when he’s not with her.

2. The “Who You Talking To” question:

When a man is on the phone and this question is asked, men find this to be very rude. Asking this question co-insides with the above question, it shows that a woman doesn't trust her man and makes a woman appear to be nosy.

3. Nagging:

When a woman starts nagging about nothing. If a man hasn’t done what you want him to do and you nag him about it, it’s really not going to get done once a woman starts nagging.

4. Holding a Grudge:

When a woman holds a grudge and then tries to bring up all the old stuff in a new argument, that drives a man crazy and makes him non-responsive.

5. Allowing a Man Time to Breathe:

Men need time by themselves, to be with friends and family. Men need to feel independent. When a woman doesn’t give a man time to himself then he feels suffocated.

DISCUSS…
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by madlady(f): 11:05am On Mar 24, 2010
Nothing to say, it all looks correct.
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by sammythes(m): 11:16am On Mar 24, 2010
Correct. Both the man and woman need time and space.

Hiding things/info away from your spouse can lead to breakups too.

I agree with the poster
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by DeepSoul(f): 11:42am On Mar 24, 2010
The two major causes of break up are conspicuously missing

1) Cheating

2) Lack of communication

3 Likes

Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by googles: 11:44am On Mar 24, 2010
hmmm thats true. . . . . am guilty of some o' these things

- like i think i nag abit

- and i always like to be around my padner which you called suffocation  undecided

but wen am ready for a relationship i'd definately work on these flaws
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by Nobody: 1:53pm On Mar 24, 2010
as much as i will agree with most of your points, there are two that i completely disagree:

1. Not Answering the Phone.

there could be 100s of reasons why a man cannot answer his phone (of course insecure women only think of one) and people should first discover why before making assumptions.
- if i am in a meeting then i wont answer a phone call that probably aint as important as this meeting i am attending.
- if i am driving and the cops are near by then i wont pick the phone up, whoever that may be.
- if i left my phones at the office/car/house while i went to do some shopping etc then i wont be able to pick the phone up.
- if i am dead asleep taking a power nap and my phone is on "silent mode" then obviously i cant answer the phone.

the catch IS to call back, whoever you got a missed call from, as soon as you are free to do so, and explain why you couldnt get to the phone, et voila!.


5. Bringing Up Weight:
there is nothing better than to be fully honest and communicating in relationship. if her weight is a concern to me then i will talk about it until the issue gets resolve. i will say it once and if she doesnt do anything  about it then i will say it again and again until she understands that it is a serious issue. . . . . . . . to me.

nobody should let this kind of problem linger because its easier to combat/deal with it at the beginning than later when it will be harder to "remove".

on the other hand, if i am growing a pot belly then she has all the rights to bring up the issue and let me know that she doesnt like my outlook which should tell me that there is a problem that needs to be dealt with.

women have to understand that we fall in love with a "package"(mind, body etc) and if something about this package is not right then the whole"package" aint right. if she was 60kg and now is 120kg then we need to talk and resolve that issue ASAP!!!!
bringing up the weight is NOT what will affect the relationship that may lead to breaking up, THE extra WEIGHT IS.

there is nothing better than honesty in relationship so if weight is a worry to you and nothing is being done about it then say it.

1 Like

Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by GEW: 1:56pm On Mar 24, 2010
wbb
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by madlady(f): 2:02pm On Mar 24, 2010
MRbrownJAY:

as much as i will agree with most of your points, there are two that i completely disagree:

1. Not Answering the Phone.

there could be 100s of reasons why a man cannot answer his phone (of course insecure women only think of one) and people should first discover why before making assumptions.
- if i am in a meeting then i wont answer a phone call that probably aint as important as this meeting i am attending.
- if i am driving and the cops are near by then i wont pick the phone up, whoever that may be.
- if i left my phones at the office/car/house while i went to do some shopping etc then i wont be able to pick the phone up.
- if i am dead asleep taking a power nap and my phone is on "silent mode" then obviously i cant answer the phone.

the catch IS to call back, whoever you got a missed call from, as soon as you are free to do so, and explain why you couldnt get to the phone, et voila!.


5. Bringing Up Weight:
there is nothing better than to be fully honest and communicating in relationship. if her weight is a concern to me then i will talk about it until the issue gets resolve. i will say it once and if she doesnt do anything  about it then i will say it again and again until she understands that it is a serious issue. . . . . . . . to me.

nobody should let this kind of problem linger because its easier to combat/deal with it at the beginning than later when it will be harder to "remove".

on the other hand, if i am growing a pot belly then she has all the rights to bring up the issue and let me know that she doesnt like my outlook which should tell me that there is a problem that needs to be dealt with.

women have to understand that we fall in love with a "package"(mind, body etc) and if something about this package is not right then the whole"package" aint right. if she was 60kg and now is 120kg then we need to talk and resolve that issue ASAP!!!!
bringing up the weight is NOT what will affect the relationship that may lead to breaking up, THE extra WEIGHT IS.

there is nothing better than honesty in relationship so if weight is a worry to you and nothing is being done about it then say it.


Great write-up
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by Nobody: 2:04pm On Mar 24, 2010
.
Walk Your Talk:

If a man says he is going to do something, then he needs to make sure that he does it. Don’t give empty promises.

Don't care about the rest but this one's very, very important. Don't promise what you can't keep. It just unsettles my nerves. tongue It's better to keep that mouth shut than to talk any how. You will go scot free the first time, but the second time? cheesy
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by yme1(f): 2:57pm On Mar 24, 2010
stillwater:


1. The “WHERE ARE YOU” question:

When a woman calls a man and the first thing she ask him is “WHERE ARE YOU” That is annoying. If the woman is asking for a specific reason then thats understandable but to ask a man who all the time shows that a woman doesn't trust her man when he’s not with her.





i normally ask this question not becasue i wanna know where he is or keeping an eye on him
i do this just to know if whereever he is it is convinient for him to talk, thats all nothing more nothing less
but if that bothers him he berra let moi know and i will back off    undecided
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by nellaluv(f): 4:11pm On Mar 24, 2010
Actually it's the men that are guilty of these:
1. The 'WHERE ARE YOU'
2. The ''WHO YOU TALKING TO'
3. Allowing a woman time to breath. Women needs time to be with friends and family, time to breath and to take care of herself too you know
4. Nagging. Men do nag too u know tongue
5. 'holding a grudge'. I know a couple of men who does dat. I hate men who hold grudges its so immature,lol
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by Usiola(m): 4:18pm On Mar 24, 2010
I could be guilty of the "where are you" question but it is not intended to spy or choke my gal.

However my greatest turn-off is a lady who picks up quarrels or argues!
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by ThoniaSlim(f): 4:25pm On Mar 24, 2010
Great writeup. . .I use to be guilty of some of the things listed above. . .Flaws I had in my previous relationships. . .I corrected in my present relationship. wink
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by 190: 6:37pm On Mar 24, 2010
^^

ahh thank Gawd!


@MrJay
Must u criticize everytin you read!!
Mr ITK

@postr
Gweat writeup
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by Pweety4me: 6:40pm On Mar 24, 2010
Copy & paste plse. . .
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by ayettymama(f): 6:49pm On Mar 24, 2010
hmmm for me its onli one thing

LIES!!! i cant stand it!!!
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by Nobody: 7:44pm On Mar 24, 2010
190:

@MrJay
Must u criticize everytin you read!!
Mr ITK

LOL!!! come on man. . . . . . . . . .  are you saying that i have to agree with everything that is written on NL?
if someone says that they believe the sea is violet, shall i keep quiet or cant i put my point across about a subject that i have an opinion about?!
its just another mans opinion, just like the posters.

btw why do you see what i wrote as CRITICISM instead of MY POINT OF VIEW ON THE SUBJECT.
if you read carefully i didnt even mention the poster, just the act that I OFTEN DO that he portrayed as stuff that destroy relationships. since it never destroyed MY relationships then i have a point to make, dont you think so?!
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by NIKKnJAZZ(f): 7:55pm On Mar 24, 2010
Good stuff. I actually like to be asked where I am and who I'm talking to. Otherwise I feel you don't care enough to know. well datz just mi.

But relationships are about trial and error. If there's any habit I do that irks my bf, I'll expect him to let me know, either in a jokeful way or serious way. That way I know what to work on. I'm done trying to do stuff that write ups suggest you should do, just to be the "perfect girlfriend". They don't all work for everybody

1 Like

Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by otukpo(f): 12:23pm On Mar 26, 2010
The poster is 70% correct.
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by Johnnoo(m): 12:24pm On Mar 26, 2010
r231:

1. The “WHERE ARE YOU” question:
well, I think the woman deserves to know her man's whereabout. Otherwise, if the question is too frequent, that 'll piss man.
Good Jobs smiley
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by akwaowoudo(m): 12:28pm On Mar 26, 2010
Many things are involed but here are few: poor communication, rudeness, bragging and foolish pride, inquisitiveness, sex starvation, improper care, gossiping, excessing smoking and drinking, flirting, lies and malice, dirtiness, etc.
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by otukpo(f): 12:32pm On Mar 26, 2010
placing one's family above the spouse

Dishonesty, lies or whatever u may call it, Kills love, trust and relationships faster than anything else

And ny the way, i see nothing wrong in asking to know where my partner is and if he is ok
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by iice(f): 12:36pm On Mar 26, 2010
Nothing seems to apply to me lol.
But true, especially on the womens' part grin
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by PaKen: 12:46pm On Mar 26, 2010
r231:

Everyone is always talking about what people lack in relationships and why they don't last, but what about the things people do consistently that destroy relationships. A list that gives 10 reasons that men and women will walk away and it does NOT include cheating.


Top 5 Things Men Do that Destroy Relationships:

1. Not Answering the Phone:

When a man doesn't answer the phone, especially at certain times of the day, it causes suspicion in a woman’s mind.

2. Walk Your Talk:

If a man says he is going to do something, then he needs to make sure that he does it. Don’t give empty promises.

3. Learn to say “I Don't Know”:

When it comes to a mans ego, they cant stand to say “I DON'T KNOW!!!” Women cant stand when a man thinks he knows EVERYTHING!!! Its okay to “Google it” if you don't know.

4. Hogging the Remote:

When a man just takes complete control over the TV, it’s a simple sign that a man is not interested in the things that his woman likes. Watching sports is cool but not 24\7.

5. Bringing Up Weight:

A woman doesn't need her man to constantly remind her that she needs to hit the gym. A woman realizes that she has gained a few pounds when the 1st pound hits. Also by a man always bringing up a woman's weight, it makes it seem that all he cares about is the way she looks and not what she has to offer.



Top 5 Things Women Do to Destroy Relationships:

1. The “WHERE ARE YOU” question:

When a woman calls a man and the first thing she ask him is “WHERE ARE YOU” That is annoying. If the woman is asking for a specific reason then thats understandable but to ask a man who all the time shows that a woman doesn't trust her man when he’s not with her.

2. The “Who You Talking To” question:

When a man is on the phone and this question is asked, men find this to be very rude. Asking this question co-insides with the above question, it shows that a woman doesn't trust her man and makes a woman appear to be nosy.

3. Nagging:

When a woman starts nagging about nothing. If a man hasn’t done what you want him to do and you nag him about it, it’s really not going to get done once a woman starts nagging.

4. Holding a Grudge:

When a woman holds a grudge and then tries to bring up all the old stuff in a new argument, that drives a man crazy and makes him non-responsive.

5. Allowing a Man Time to Breathe:

Men need time by themselves, to be with friends and family. Men need to feel independent. When a woman doesn’t give a man time to himself then he feels suffocated.

DISCUSS…

This is exactly the reason why I walked away from a 5 yr old semi-relationship, lol
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by Chrisbenogor(m): 12:52pm On Mar 26, 2010
The holding a grudge comes to mind the most, women never like to let go. I bet there are more bitter women in every 100 people than men grin grin
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by Redlips2(f): 1:03pm On Mar 26, 2010
@ Poster, it is a great write up.
I wish to state it here that some men NAG too not only women. MY partner is a very tidy and neat man and i mean tidy. Whenever I visit(we are getting married in a month's time), i try to tidy and sweep up the house but it can never be done perfectly. Woe betide me if i move anytin 1 centimeter away fromm where he usually keeps it. He will talk and talk and talk about it- is that not called NAGGING.
But i thank God for marriage classes that has taught us to accomodate and try to mould our partners in a subtle way. He is changing.

I also have cause to believe that before a woman nags, there must be a reason for it. Have the men tried to make amends to things or situations that make their women nag. So my dear, it is a two way thing.

The "where are you" question is usually a valid one cos most men feel their partners don't have to know where they are all the time but they will wish to have the women's timetable to the minutes.

When women ask they only want to know where you are and if you are ok cos for Christ's sake they are answerable to your families if anytin happens. They are the ones that will be questioned first of all.
So men please learn to be free with your wives and communicate some more with them, it is to everybody's benefit especially that of your relationship.
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by maufunky: 1:10pm On Mar 26, 2010
gbam! cheesy
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by onc4all(f): 1:30pm On Mar 26, 2010
Yo are very correct.

i always want to be with my guy and it bleeped my last relationship.
my guy was always asking for space.
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by ichommy(m): 1:31pm On Mar 26, 2010
Hehehe grin
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by HenryObi1: 1:48pm On Mar 26, 2010
One annoying thing is; My girl friend calls me up when am at work or driving, and she says, '' Baby, Tell nme you love me now" What is that? Why can't they learn to trust us? cry. I'll Talk about this later, Gotta GO!
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by foyeks2001(f): 1:57pm On Mar 26, 2010
googles:

hmmm thats true. . . . . am guilty of some o' these things

- like i think i nag abit

- and i always like to be around my partner which you called suffocation  undecided

but wen am ready for a relationship i'd definately work on these flaws


me too

@poster
so wat do u think about calling a boyfy on a saturday(about 49missed calls because i called him  though he we live far apart, at first i tot could it be sumtin had happened to him,(so i called him thruout that day) n he didnt pick, the next morning he called , asked y he didnt pick, he said i should forget about it
that day, i knew the relationship will not work because the trust vanished
Re: 10 Things Men And Women Do That Destroy Relationships by lagerwhenindoubt(m): 1:57pm On Mar 26, 2010
Red-lips:

@ Poster, it is a great write up.
I wish to state it here that some men NAG too not only women. MY partner is a very tidy and neat man and i mean tidy. Whenever I visit(we are getting married in a month's time), i try to tidy and sweep up the house but it can never be done perfectly. Woe betide me if i move anytin 1 centimeter away fromm where he usually keeps it. He will talk and talk and talk about it- is that not called NAGGING.
But i thank God for marriage classes that has taught us to accomodate and try to mould our partners in a subtle way. He is changing.

I also have cause to believe that before a woman nags, there must be a reason for it. Have the men tried to make amends to things or situations that make their women nag. So my dear, it is a two way thing.

The "where are you" question is usually a valid one cos most men feel their partners don't have to know where they are all the time but they will wish to have the women's timetable to the minutes.

When women ask they only want to know where you are and if you are ok cos for Christ's sake they are answerable to your families if anytin happens. They are the ones that will be questioned first of all.
So men please learn to be free with your wives and communicate some more with them, it is to everybody's benefit especially that of your relationship.

You need to be very careful when you get married to this guy because what you have just mentioned is an obsessive/compulsive condition (not good). some people who have this condition are normal in other areas of their lives but when it comes to symmetry and neatness they will absolutely freak-out if one tiny detail is out of place. you will never find an i without a dot or a t that is not crossed, all their buttons are perfect and their shirts ironed without one crease . I know you love him well enough to want to get married to him, just learn the nuances of obsessive/compulsive behavior so you are not blind-sided (with a slap) one day you decide you want to re-decorate the house.

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