See, when I become a father, I will ‘date and marry’ my daughter first, I will model love to her; treat her like a princess, treat her mom like an Amazon before her eyes, make her discover her worth..

And I'll tell you a story explaining why I'll do this.

Sometime ago; early this year, a lady wrote to me about her serial cheat boyfriend. In her plea to me about what professional counsel I could offer, she said something:
“At least if he's just cheating with just one lady, I'll be okay. But they are too many..”

My eyebrows were raised. I was taken aback.
I enquired why she'd say that and here's what her reply was:
“Ah it's a normal thing for guys to cheat na, my dad was a cheat. I just know cheating is normal to men..”

This pierced my heart, and it reaffirmed my belief that a girl's father is the one who lays a foundation of her standards.

Many ladies define love by what their dad did for their mom..
He beats her, so she'll take battery from a guy in a relationship, and for the fact that mom used to endure it, she'd copy that and endure such abuse in her relationship.

I know I am not yet a father, but can talk to fathers and prospective fathers?

A father is one who teaches her daughter what a male is all about. It's the first man in her life — the first man she loves, the first man she tries to please, the first man she believes, she takes cues from how you treat mom. In this effect, you as a father sets her up for success or failure with the opposite sex.

“If daddy treated mom this way” she'll think, “then all men must be like this and I guess I have to put up with it to have a man in my life.”

If you don't treat your daughter how she should be treated, she'd fall into the wrong hands. She'd take anything because you gave her anything.

Many women are trapped in wrong relationships because they needed validation that daddy didn't give. These men deceived them with words.
They needed hugs, appreciation, compliments.
When last did you tell your daughter that she's beautiful and you love her, and she's everything to you?

Average Nigerian parents won't remember..
And when she gets to hear these words from strange men. She tilts to their direction.

Treat your wife like a queen before your daughter. It builds a perception in her about how she should equally be treated.
She will leave a relationship when a guy batters her because she's remember that ‘this is not how dad treated mom..’

You are her first model. Whatever she might believe about men will be because of you. Be careful of what you do, dear father.
[url][/www.faithola.com]
You may sh

Solomon Buchi Bartholomew
Life Coach/Motivational speaker

True

Stay there and be fooling yourself!

You better take charge of your destiny, and take responsibilities for your actions! Continue looking for who to blame

This is true, very very true. Typing from personal experience.

You're either treating me like my dad treated my mum and his daughters or better than... Anything below that, please use the door.

And yeah, expect the same treatment from me.

Nice writeup.

Blame allocation

i know my approval means nothing
but its a good analysis. the Father and the Daughter relationship is the most sacred after husband and wife.
i remember reading somewhere "a father is a daughter's first love" or something like that
point is the father is a girl's first encounter with masculinity and all her future interactions with all masculinities will be weighed against,compared and affected by this first one.(just like a mother is a son's first encounter with feminity and all his future blah blah blah).
if that foundational relationship aint right all the future ones wont be.studies after studies have shown girls that grow up with fathers excel at school,have higher self-confidence and lose virginity much later in life. while fatherless girls usually exhibit lower self-confidence and become teenage mothers more.they end up with babies coz their craving for masculinity drives them into the arms of men who then take that advantage.
a girl benefits a lot from compliments from a man who doesnt want to fvck her.it makes her see herself as something of value outside of sex.her self-value is dettached from her sexuality meaning she learns to feel appreciated without being taken as a sex object.that is important coz if her self-confidence isnt tied to her vagina then she wont have to use that vagina to boost her self-esteem.and a slut mentality is prevented (you may have heard most porn stars and prostitutes have daddy issues)
and the person most positioned for that job is the father. his no-strings attached compliments are what makes or breaks a girl.

This land is not for sale

ubunja:
i know my approval means nothing
but its a good analysis. the Father and the Daughter relationship is the most sacred after husband and wife.
i remember reading somewhere "a father is a daughter's first love" or something like that
point is the father is a girl's first encounter with masculinity and all her future interactions with all masculinities will be weighed against,compared and affected by this first one.(just like a mother is a son's first encounter with feminity and all his future blah blah blah).
if that foundational relationship aint right all the future ones wont be.studies after studies have shown girls that grow up with fathers excel at school,have higher self-confidence and lose virginity much later in life. while fatherless girls usually exhibit lower self-confidence and become teenage mothers more.they end up with babies coz their craving for masculinity drives them into the arms of men who then take that advantage.
a girl benefits a lot from compliments from a man who doesnt want to fvck her.it makes her see herself as something of value outside of sex.her self-value is dettached from her sexuality meaning she learns to feel appreciated without being taken as a sex object.that is important coz if her self-confidence isnt tied to her vagina then she wont have to use that vagina to boost her self-esteem.and a slut mentality is prevented (you may have heard most porn stars and prostitutes have daddy issues)
and the person most positioned for that job is the father. his no-strings attached compliments are what makes or breaks a girl.

Na so. Correct. No need for more additions, you've spoken well. Maazi