rita, the crying lady!

ride on baby girl

Authobiography at her young age? I can guess the contents

CHAPTER 1

Became a mediocre actress in Nollytrash.


THE END.

















Pathetic. MEIOW

Ebonyeyes:

Authobiography at her young age? I can guess the contents
CHAPTER 1
Became a mediocre actress in Nollytrash.
Pathetic. MEIOW

CHAPTER 2

I came from nigbon kinigbon village, hawked pure water and was discovered by kini kini who said i was beautiful but will make it if i tone my skin to white which i did and of course smoked like mad and put on a ridiculous grin called smile, yea, I'm hot.

THE END.

jellybean:

CHAPTER 2

I came from nigbon kinigbon village, hawked pure water and was discovered by kini kini who said i was beautiful but will make it if i tone my skin to white which i did and of course smoked like mad and put on a ridiculous grin called smile, yea, I'm hot.

THE END.

Teehee Too true.

I can see the "you are just hating on her because she has more money in the bank and is beAURIFUL" brigade are going to strike very soon

Ebonyeyes:

I can see the "you are just hating on her because she has more money in the bank and is beAURIFUL" brigade are going to strike very soon

This is your Chapter 3? If not, include chapter 3 make we help am write am.

jellybean:

This is your Chapter 3? If not, include chapter 3 make we help am write am.

CHAPTER 3

Had a feud with Genevieve and Omotola, dont these chicks know im the baddest biatch in Nollytrash?

THE END.

na wao! so many chop-i-chop writers here in nairaland!

Ebonyeyes:


CHAPTER 3
Had a feud with Genevieve and Omotola, dont these chicks know im the baddest biatch in Nollytrash?
THE END.

CHAPTER 4

Just like Rihanna, I did invent an hairdo back in the days , the afro style (i.e the one where you pull your front hair back with gel and attach the big afro at the middle). Yup, back when i had front hair *sighs*

THE END

George_D:

na wao! so many chop-i-chop writers here in nairaland!

o ya join the club jarre, write chapter 5

jellybean:

CHAPTER 4

Just like Rihanna, I did invent an hairdo back in the days , the afro style (i.e the one where you pull your front hair back with gel and attach the big afro at the middle). Yup, back when i had front hair *sighs*

THE END

"Meiow"

CHAPTER 5

Started wearing mini-skirts and too much make up yeah, that made me a STYLE ICON. Even started bleaching toning my skin to bring out the glow yeah im the most beautiful biatch in Nollytrash, the other biatches can go somewhere and eat dirt.

THE END

Ebonyeyes:

"Meiow"
CHAPTER 5
Started wearing mini-skirts and too much make up yeah, that made me a STYLE ICON. Even started bleaching toning my skin to bring out the glow yeah im the most beautiful biatch in Nollytrash, the other biatches can go somewhere and eat dirt.
THE END

CHAPTER 6

I think the ladies got jealous of me hence they all tried to be me especially when it came to smoking in movies but i'm still a pro in that so they got nothing on me, i am the best seductress in nollytrash and so when i retire which is pretty soon, i'd have some title to hold on to. *sighs*

THE END

jelly,
this ya own version get as e be ooooo!

jellybean:



CHAPTER 6

I think the ladies got jealous of me hence they all tried to be me especially when it came to smoking in movies but i'm still a pro in that so they got nothing on me, i am the best seductress in nollytrash and so when i retire which is pretty soon, i'd have some title to hold on to. *sighs*

THE END

CHAPTER 7

Nollytrash will go to the dumps once im retired but I cant take that sh1t anymore. I see these new breed of actresses and they are all wack and RITA DOMINIC IMPERSONATORS. Me im going to bring out my own design line(because you all know im a FASHION ICON) I will also bring out my skincare/makeup range because I get letters from my female fans how they can get the bleached look glow to their skin. Im all for woman empowerment you know.

THE END

you mean the 'end' or the beginning of the 'end'? 

Ebonyeyes:


CHAPTER 7
Nollytrash will go to the dumps once im retired but I cant take that sh1t anymore. I see these new breed of actresses and they are all wack and RITA DOMINIC IMPERSONATORS. Me im going to bring out my own design line(because you all know im a FASHION ICON) I will also bring out my skincare/makeup range because I get letters from my female fans how they can get the bleached look glow to their skin. Im all for woman empowerment you know.
THE END

CHAPTER 8

Speaking of my fashion line, i envision it to strictly be mini skirts and dresses, I have being known in the whole of Nollytrash to be the actress with the sexiest legs. They can't get enough of me, infact, i just might insure my legs with the money made from this Autobiography. If Mercy Johnson the newbie dares to insure her hips then why not i? I'm the baddest biatch in Nollytrash, actually I'm going to insure my leftover hair as well!

THE END

jellybean:

CHAPTER 8

Speaking of my fashion line, i envision it to strictly be mini skirts and dresses, I have being known in the whole of Nollytrash to be the actress with the sexiest legs. They can't get enough of me, infact, i just might insure my legs with the money made from this Autobiography. If Mercy Johnson the newbie dares to insure her hips then why not i? I'm the baddest biatch in Nollytrash, actually I'm going to insure my leftover hair as well!

THE END

chei, girl you bad o!!!!!!!
CHAPTER 9

Still on that fashion line, I will make it cheap and affordable for my fans, each piece will retail from #10,000 upwards and 0.000005% of the profit will go to my pet project *Rita Dominic's professional acting school for young girls _{school fees starts at #20,000}* Yeah Im a firm believer in giving back to my fans

THE END

na wa for ebony and jelly ooooo!

George_D:

na wa for ebony and jelly ooooo!

lmao. . . you guys are killing me

we don't even know which one to read now. from the look of things, the version written jointly by jelly and ebony may provide more bang for our money than the orignal written by rita herself!

George_D:

we don't even know which one to read now. from the look of things, the version written jointly by jelly and ebony may provide more bang for our money than the orignal written by rita herself!

Damn right it would be we will retail our own copies of Rita Dominic''s Biography for #50 each

Ebonyeyes:

CHAPTER 9
Still on that fashion line, I will make it cheap and affordable for my fans, each piece will retail from #10,000 upwards and 0.000005% of the profit will go to my pet project *Rita Dominic's professional acting school for young girls _{school fees starts at #20,000}* Yeah Im a firm believer in giving back to my fans
THE END

CHAPTER 10

I think an acting school is also another way of expressing my love for my fans, it's not easy to sit back and actually watch a Nollytrash movie that have part 1,2,3,4 and then part 6,7 and 8 in another different name all because they want to see my sexy self.
I mean, haven't you all ever wondered why a lovely woman like me from kinigbon nikigbon village is called Rita Dominic? I will spell it out!
R-Raskalicious
I-Intimidating
T- Tantalizing tantalizer
A- All hell break lose
Dominitress, yup, like i said, I'm the baddest in Nollytrash.

THE END

Ebonyeyes:

Damn right it would be we will retail our own copies of Rita Dominic''s Biography for #50 each

We rock!!!!!!!!!! George go fear na!

jelly, the way things are going, i'm tempted to enlist you to write ini edo's biography!

jellybean:

CHAPTER 10

I think an acting school is also another way of expressing my love for my fans, it's not easy to sit back and actually watch a Nollytrash movie that have part 1,2,3,4 and then part 6,7 and 8 in another different name all because they want to see my sexy self.
I mean, haven't you all ever wondered why a lovely woman like me from kinigbon nikigbon village is called Rita Dominic? I will spell it out!
R-Raskalicious
I-Intimidating
T- Tantalizing tantalizer
A- All hell break lose
Dominitress, yup, like i said, I'm the baddest in Nollytrash.

THE END

CHAPTER 11

Because im now an iconic Nollytrash actress, all lessons in that school will be inspired by my many rubbish classic movies, I cant believe I havnt been nominated for an Academy Award yet  . I will also be the residential Nollytrash mentor to guide my students on the path to success, some of which include bleaching toning, afro skany-weave, skanky clothes and lots of flesh. S3x sells and I have to tell my young fans that.

THE END

ah! ebony! you could do a quick one on mercy johnson toooo!

George_D:

ah! ebony! you could do a quick one on mercy johnson toooo!

That would be fun

ebony,
i'm already holding talks with my agent about your possible contract sign up. 

MERCY JOHNSONS MEMOIRS ON HER INCREDIBLE RISE TO NOLLYTRASH STARDOM

I came from humble beginnings and decided that I wanted to be a Nollytrash star, but I didnt go to acting school or have any discernible acting skills. Thankfully God created me on a Sunday and blessed me with humongous chesticles and a Beyonce-esq booty. I stormed into any and every directors office and one look at God's creation made them sign me on every and any movie, yeah thats why in a month you normally see 500 movies with my Gorgeous face on the VCD. I can act 20 films in 2days, thats talent at its finest. Im a rising icon in Nollytrash with my obvious flaunting of my goodies dramatic acting skills and I hope to inspire young girls.

THE END.

ebony,
my agent just looked at your mercy johnson sample and he thinks you'll do great for the writing job.