Why do wives forgive cheating husband but husbands don't forgive cheating wives,
Like wise in relationship.
ladies do forgive guys but guys find it difficult to forgive ladies
Why?

Is it that is only ladies that are kind in heart or soft?

its due to insecurity coupled with african mentality

no every woman is like that tho

forgiveness should be both ways

Men are designed by nature to be territorial so when a man see his wife or woman touched by another man it triggers the BETRAYAL mode. It doesn't matter what level of betrayal it may be. But, if a woman is compromised then a man have a harder time to forgive and forget.

Women are designed to be nurturers so we more likely to forgive our cheating spouses than the male would. It a double standard that the society placed today. If a woman cheats, she a LovePeddler. If a man cheats, he is a MAN. WTF!

I guess for the same reason a man who sleeps around is called a player and woman who does so is called a slut, That's just how it is, thats why women have to be more careful than men in all the little and big choices they make in their daily lives.

Y should ladies be forgiven? dnt forget ladies re meant 2 be faithful not d other way round

@poster
the jungle mentality from hypocrites that believe that the world revolves around them.

imagine there is a  thread about "arm robbers and R A P E":
when asked if men would allow the arm robbers to despoil their wives or die they all chose despoil.
now when i reverse the question and said that the robbers was gay and would instead despoil THE MEN OR KILL THEIR  WIFE, most said that the wife would therefore die.LOL!!!!! hypocrisy at the highest level on NL!!!!

ayettymama:

its due to insecurity coupled with african mentality

no every woman is like that tho

Hillary Clinton isnt African last time i checked.

the volume of nonsense that passes for posts these days is alarming.

This is a function of how the Lord have created us all.

Check all through the holy books, it is written, no two men can share a woman; for there cannot be two captains in a boat.

The reason is simple, unto whom is the woman that has cheated loyal to? the husband or the boyfriend? A man cannot live not knowing that his wife is loyal to him.

A wife on the other hand has to be loyal to someone. She can decide to be loyal to the husband and thus forgive him and moves on, or can repudiate her loyalty to him and packs out of the house.


To also give you an insight, think of this two scenarios:
Scenario 1
A man walks into his house and sees a man on top of his woman/wife. What does the BF do?

Scenario 2
A woman walks into her house and sees her man on top of another woman. What does the GF do?

In scenario 1, the BF takes off immediately knowing that any delay could result in his death while in scenario 2, most times, there ensues a shouting match between GF and Madam.

What does the above outcomes tell you about how the Lord has made us? The above reactions are natural inbred instincts and have nothing to do with your nationality or religion.

Akainzo:

This is a function of how the Lord have created us all.
Check all through the holy books, it is written, no two men can share a woman; for there cannot be two captains in a boat.
The reason is simple, unto whom is the woman that has cheated loyal to? the husband or the boyfriend? A man cannot live not knowing that his wife is loyal to him.
A wife on the other hand has to be loyal to someone. She can decide to be loyal to the husband and thus forgive him and moves on, or can repudiate her loyalty to him and packs out of the house.


To also give you an insight, think of this two scenarios:
Scenario 1
A man walks into his house and sees a man on top of his woman/wife. What does the BF do?

Scenario 2
A woman walks into her house and sees her man on top of another woman. What does the GF do?

In scenario 1, the BF takes off immediately knowing that any delay could result in his death while in scenario 2, most times, there ensues a shouting match between GF and Madam.

What does the above outcomes tell you about how the Lord has made us? The above reactions are natural inbred instincts and have nothing to do with your nationality or religion.

it so funny how some "supposedly" god fearing christian think. . . . . . .  they almost want you to believe that men cheating on their wives is ok within their faith because thats "how god created us". makes you wonder which "good book" they are reading.
go read that book again and stop dreaming. nowhere in the bible does it says that A MAN cheating is ok while A WOMAN doing the same thing is wrong! (but feel free to prove me wrong)

your little scenario is so %$#*& that i wont even give you a reply on it so to not make you look like the dumbest poster on NL!

*rolls eyes*

o here we go and this time im goin on it too!

inno ur nt talking abt hilary clinton cos for every hilary clinton i can give you 15 CELBEBRITIES WHO LEFT THIER HUSBANDS FOR THE SAME?

u really wanna go there?? continue makling lists- we'll see which ones longer!

the volume of foolishness that passes for posts these days is surprising!

ayettymama:

*rolls eyes*

o here we go and this time im goin on it too!

inno your nt talking abt hilary clinton cos for every hilary clinton i can give you 15 CELBEBRITIES WHO LEFT THIER HUSBANDS FOR THE SAME?

u really wanna go there?? continue makling lists- we'll see which ones longer!

the volume of foolishness that passes for posts these days is surprising!

nah, its not the list that is the issue. Its the fact that you build a case on a false stereotype. Its not just "african mentality" for women to condone cheating in their mates. It happens EVERYWHERE. I just picked one popular case that everyone could immediately identify with. There are thousands of other cases you NEVER hear about . . . Jenny Sanford is one.

No i really dont wanna go anywhere, you dont really have much to offer in the arena of common sense. Sorry.

o yea unno u do! unno u do

'building a case on a false stereotype' puh leeze- its not common for non african, or white women to forgive thier husbands (in normal cases) pls dnt start listing footballers we all no lack of prenup makes any woman reluctant!

its very common for nigerian men to cheat and for it 2 be shrugged off 'as typical male behavoir' you dont hear that down here!
dont start mentioning what noone has heard abt i can start doin the same!

so pls inno ur just bawling for my attention but i will very well stand beside what i said

african mentality is a common denominator in this situation just like a thread i posted previously showed- dont try and get fresh with me! kmt

ayettymama:

o yea unno u do! unno u do

'building a case on a false stereotype' puh leeze- its not common for non african, or white women to forgive thier husbands (in normal cases) pls dnt start listing footballers we all no lack of prenup makes any woman reluctant!

Based on what statistics? Your own idea?

ayettymama:

its very common for nigerian men to cheat and for it 2 be shrugged off 'as typical male behavoir' you dont hear that down here!
dont start mentioning what noone has heard abt i can start doin the same!

Based on what study?

ayettymama:

so pls inno your just bawling for my attention but i will very well stand beside what i said

Hmmm those whose attention i genuinely seek know themselves, i dont do that on the forum . . .

ayettymama:

african mentality is a common denominator in this situation just like a thread i posted previously showed- dont try and get fresh with me! kmt

Daft.

^^ are you kidding me??

u must not no alot of non african people- even with celebrities, i can draw u a graph!- singers, politicians, royal family members and billionaires!

u dont read the papers or posts on nl?? do you??

anyone with half a brain knows very well they dont tolerate cheating

so pls!

daft--- in your opinion, inno very well what im saying!

I tink ladies hav soft spot on thire husbands nd chilfren.ladies tend to forgiv easily bkos they are naturaly soft.bt men are hard in everytin.

ayettymama:

^^ are you kidding me??

u must not no alot of non african people- even with celebrities,  i can draw u a graph!- singers, politicians, royal family members and billionaires!

u dont read the papers or posts on nl?? do you??

anyone with half a brain knows very well they dont tolerate cheating

so pls!

daft--- in your opinion, inno very well what im saying!

Ok so she knows "a lot of non african people" and from there concludes that accepting cheating husbands is purely "african mentality". She has no reputable statistics to buttress the claim, no source to rely on . . . but she expects us to take her word for it . . .

and she's surprised folks wonder if she can think at all. What a shame.

MRbrownJAY:

it so funny how some "supposedly" god fearing christian think. . . . . . .  they almost want you to believe that men cheating on their wives is ok within their faith because thats "how god created us". makes you wonder which "good book" they are reading.
go read that book again and stop dreaming. nowhere in the bible does it says that A MAN cheating is ok while A WOMAN doing the same thing is wrong! (but feel free to prove me wrong)

your little scenario is so %$#*& that i wont even give you a reply on it so to not make you look like the dumbest poster on NL!

BrownJay, you need not wonder for too long if you do actually take time to read the good book you allude to. When you finish it from Genesis to Revelation, then come back and tell me where you read it that the good Lord chastised a man or any of His prophets for having more than one wife.
(You can study the prophets and do a check on how many of them had only one wife! - And before you miss out on the assignment, note that you need not commit adultery to have more than one wife.)

If you had taken time to comprehend what I wrote, I did not in any way say one was right or that the other was wrong. I only presented an analysis of the actions that is inbred in both sexes. You can agree with it or better still try and disprove it.

BTW, you did reply to the scenarios that you couldn't comprehend despite your not too smart to attempt to disguise it. Hmmm, on the dumb scale, do measure yourself when you come round to understand what a scale is.

ayettymama:

^^ are you kidding me??

u must not no alot of non african people- even with celebrities, i can draw u a graph!- singers, politicians, royal family members and billionaires!

u dont read the papers or posts on nl?? do you??

anyone with half a brain knows very well they dont tolerate cheating

so pls!

daft--- in your opinion, inno very well what im saying!

The last time I checked John Terry's wife is still married to him. (Or is there an unknown African connection with John or his wife?)

Akainzo:


The last time I checked John Terry's wife is still married to him. (Or is there an unknown African connection with John or his wife?)

and Tiger's wife despite stories of infidelity with myriads of women . . . and Ashley Cole's wife stayed initially resolving to keep her marriage.
Elliot Spitzer's wife, Elizabeth Edwards (up until she found out he lied about the paternity of the daughter)

There is no arguing with the deliberately dumb.

ayettymama:

^^ are you kidding me??

u must not no alot of non african people- even with celebrities, i can draw u a graph!- singers, politicians, royal family members and billionaires!

u dont read the papers or posts on nl?? do you??

anyone with half a brain knows very well they dont tolerate cheating

so pls!

daft--- in your opinion, inno very well what im saying!

If i relied on posts on NL i'd just be as misinformed as you.

Most men do forgive their wives when they commit adultery just like most women forgive their husbands.
But they're also women who wouldn't forgive their husbands just like they are men who would never forgive their wives.
So, it goes both ways.

Please people shoul stop using the bible as an excuse to commit adultery,it's the same bible that says , "husbands love your wives, " if you love your wife,you won't cheat on her and then claim right.

seriously?? what about sandra bullock?? halle berry?? shauna?? irina?? robyn gibson?? and these are even from the top of my head- im very sure theres a list somewhere!

Akainzo:

BrownJay, you need not wonder for too long if you do actually take time to read the good book you allude to. When you finish it from Genesis to Revelation, then come back and tell me where you read it that the good Lord chastised a man or any of His prophets for having more than one wife.
(You can study the prophets and do a check on how many of them had only one wife! - And before you miss out on the assignment, note that you need not commit adultery to have more than one wife.)

If you had taken time to comprehend what I wrote, I did not in any way say one was right or that the other was wrong. I only presented an analysis of the actions that is inbred in both sexes. You can agree with it or better still try and disprove it.

BTW, you did reply to the scenarios that you couldn't comprehend despite your not too smart to attempt to disguise it. Hmmm, on the dumb scale, do measure yourself when you come round to understand what a scale is.

b4 we continue- are u muslim?? cos if so i wont bother

were not talking abt havin more than one wife- were taling about cheating on ur wife?? did u read the op??

even Jesus said u can leave ur partner for adultery- freely and carry no sin aftre, whjy didnt he say forgive and forgive- forgive adultery?? i dont think so!

Akainzo:

BrownJay, you need not wonder for too long if you do actually take time to read the good book you allude to. When you finish it from Genesis to Revelation, then come back and tell me where you read it that the good Lord chastised a man or any of His prophets for having more than one wife.
(You can study the prophets and do a check on how many of them had only one wife! - And before you miss out on the assignment, note that you need not commit adultery to have more than one wife.)

If you had taken time to comprehend what I wrote, I did not in any way say one was right or that the other was wrong. I only presented an analysis of the actions that is inbred in both sexes. You can agree with it or better still try and disprove it.

BTW, you did reply to the scenarios that you couldn't comprehend despite your not too smart to attempt to disguise it. Hmmm, on the dumb scale, do measure yourself when you come round to understand what a scale is.

you see, you already starting to make yourself look dumb to the highest level.
i never challenged that polygamy was/wasnt allowed in the bible (dont stray away from the nonsense YOU wrote), i challenged the fact that you supposedly claim that CHEATING on your wife with whores on your bed was ok by your maker because men were "made like that".

so please, show me WHERE in your bible it says that men can lay with women that they were not married to nor their concubines. . . . . . . . .
its obvious that "in biblical times" men could marry multiple wives or sh_ag concubines that lived in their homes. where you found that a man could sleep with other men's wives, loose women, whores, prostitutes etc is beyond me!!!

are you saying that your "beautifully demonstrated" scenario was NOT a sin in the eyes of your maker?! stop using the bible to protect your sick ideas, read it wisely and fully or dont, but DO NOT just use the part that YOU see fit for your evil deeds.

you first wrote about the thread that:

This is a function of how the Lord have created us all.
Check all through the holy books, it is written, no two men can share a woman; for there cannot be two captains in a boat.

does that mean that anything we do can be labelled as "function of how the lord has created us" (instead of sin) and do as we please?!
the killers: the bible says that they should be stoned to death, should we take that LITERALLY TOO?!
the rapist: the bible too says that they should be stoned to death, should we take that LITERALLY again?!
the cheating wives and all other sinners etc

if i was as *&%$# as you, taking the bible word for words, then i would believe that having s e x with children is ok too after reading Numbers 31:17-18 or Numbers 31:35-40. come on this is 2010!!!!!

btw: a concubine is a woman who was living in the men's house or quarters and who was fed and cloth by that same man AND ONLY SH_AGGED BY HIM TOO!

Akainzo:

This is a function of how the Lord have created us all.

Check all through the holy books, it is written, no two men can share a woman; for there cannot be two captains in a boat.

The reason is simple, unto whom is the woman that has cheated loyal to? the husband or the boyfriend? A man cannot live not knowing that his wife is loyal to him.

A wife on the other hand has to be loyal to someone. She can decide to be loyal to the husband and thus forgive him and moves on, or can repudiate her loyalty to him and packs out of the house.
,

Akainzo:

BrownJay, you need not wonder for too long if you do actually take time to read the good book you allude to. When you finish it from Genesis to Revelation, then come back and tell me where you read it that the good Lord chastised a man or any of His prophets for having more than one wife.
(You can study the prophets and do a check on how many of them had only one wife! - And before you miss out on the assignment, note that you need not commit adultery to have more than one wife.)

If you had taken time to comprehend what I wrote, I did not in any way say one was right or that the other was wrong. I only presented an analysis of the actions that is inbred in both sexes. You can agree with it or better still try and disprove it.

BTW, you did reply to the scenarios that you couldn't comprehend despite your not too smart to attempt to disguise it. Hmmm, on the dumb scale, do measure yourself when you come round to understand what a scale is.

You should be severely massacred for this statement.

So in the Holy Books it is also written that one man can share two women . . . right?
Our pastor once showed us the difference in the Bible between the wives and the mistresses.  When it says that a man knew a woman, it meant that she was his wife, but if she was a mistress then the Bible expressly states that the man in question lay with her.
And in most of those circumstances the only reason why he even had a mistress in the first place was for him to have more children. Not because his boxers were about to explode.
The first scenario I can remember of that ever happening was with Abraham and Hagar. Why did Sarah ask him to sleep with her? Because she wanted a child. I am not saying that this applies in every instance but MOST OF THE TIME, that was the reason.

Or what about the prophet who was told to take a wife who was a harlot and be faithful to her even though she kept going back to her old lifestyle? If God was an advocate of two or three wives, would't he have said    "My son, I know this woman is gonna show you hell!!! So take another lady and be sleeping with her to satisfy yourself until that naughty lady comes back . "

This idea that women are a commodity has to be gotten rid of . It nauseates me.  Even Jesus said that in some circumstances, it is better not to get married. Why would he advocate a single life when he knows very well that his future wife to be was the Church itself? Because He knows what men and women are like, he knows that humans lack self control , and he knows the number of heartbreaks that come out of men cheating, marrying other wives or women doing the exact same thing.

Or it is also written that  a woman can live with knowing that her husband is unfaithful to her? Come on. Get educated because you are clearly not.

Wuldnt join u guyz . No tank u. I knw wot my bible says.

^^ its not actually biblical

men who thrive on infidelity just like to turn it biblical

theres pagans with more morals than some religious fanatics out there!

Some are like that. They never get to learn. (although some are different)

MRbrownJAY:

you see, you already starting to make yourself look dumb to the highest level.
i never challenged that polygamy was/wasnt allowed in the bible (dont stray away from the nonsense YOU wrote), i challenged the fact that you supposedly claim that CHEATING on your wife with whores on your bed was ok by your maker because men were "made like that".

so please, show me WHERE in your bible it says that men can lay with women that they were not married to nor their concubines. . . . . . . . .
its obvious that "in biblical times" men could marry multiple wives or sh_ag concubines that lived in their homes. where you found that a man could sleep with other men's wives, loose women, whores, love-peddlers etc is beyond me!!!

Brown Jay, see the coloured parts of your statements, I can deduce that you are a little confused. Clarify your head and then make a re-post. And while at it, please do not make any supposed claims for me, read my post very well and understand it. The other woman was not differentiated into a LovePeddler, another mans wife or love peddler, just a plain other woman. get it!

MRbrownJAY:

are you saying that your "beautifully demonstrated" scenario was NOT a sin in the eyes of your maker?! stop using the bible to protect your sick ideas, read it wisely and fully or dont, but DO NOT just use the part that YOU see fit for your evil deeds.

you first wrote about the thread that:
does that mean that anything we do can be labelled as "function of how the lord has created us" (instead of sin) and do as we please?!
the killers: the bible says that they should be stoned to death, should we take that LITERALLY TOO?!
the rapist: the bible too says that they should be stoned to death, should we take that LITERALLY again?!
the cheating wives and all other sinners etc

if i was as *&%$# as you, taking the bible word for words, then i would believe that having s e x with children is ok too after reading Numbers 31:17-18 or Numbers 31:35-40. come on this is 2010!!!!!

So it is a sin, is that in argument? Learn to comprehend what is written by someone before you go off on an handle.
The reason for the sin and why it is possible for one party to find it easier to forgive than the other is what I wrote about, not that it was or wasn't a sin. I said it twice in my earlier reply to you, I would say it again, Learn to read and comprehend.

MRbrownJAY:

btw: a concubine is a woman who was living in the men's house or quarters and who was fed and cloth by that same man AND ONLY SH_AGGED BY HIM TOO!

And a wife neither lives in the mans house or quarters nor was she fed by the man or clothed by the same man and obviously not sh_agged by him as well! 

luvbooks:

You should be severely massacred for this statement.

Now I know where your barbarism comes from.

luvbooks:

So in the Holy Books it is also written that one man can share two women . . . right?

It is not only written but you should be able to read about it once you start to read the book yourself. The Holy Book is replete with instances where the Lords prophet had more than one wife.

luvbooks:

Our pastor once showed us the difference in the Bible between the wives and the mistresses.  When it says that a man knew a woman, it meant that she was his wife, but if she was a mistress then the Bible expressly states that the man in question lay with her.
And in most of those circumstances the only reason why he even had a mistress in the first place was for him to have more children. Not because his boxers were about to explode.
The first scenario I can remember of that ever happening was with Abraham and Hagar. Why did Sarah ask him to sleep with her? Because she wanted a child. I am not saying that this applies in every instance but MOST OF THE TIME, that was the reason.

Or what about the prophet who was told to take a wife who was a harlot and be faithful to her even though she kept going back to her old lifestyle? If God was an advocate of two or three wives, would't he have said    "My son, I know this woman is gonna show you hell!!! So take another lady and be sleeping with her to satisfy yourself until that naughty lady comes back . "

So in essence if the man says it is for having children, then you accept that he can have more than one? 

luvbooks:

This idea that women are a commodity has to be gotten rid of . It nauseates me.  Even Jesus said that in some circumstances, it is better not to get married. Why would he advocate a single life when he knows very well that his future wife to be was the Church itself? Because He knows what men and women are like, he knows that humans lack self control , and he knows the number of heartbreaks that come out of men cheating, marrying other wives or women doing the exact same thing.

Or it is also written that  a woman can live with knowing that her husband is unfaithful to her? Come on. Get educated because you are clearly not.

The bolded part above tells me where the fountain of your reply came from and thus is understandable. However, I am educated enough to know the difference between emotions and reality. And my dear, the reality is simple a lady Prof would hold onto her husband and find it easier to forgive his infidelity than a guy prof would.

I presume you are educated and therefore would also assume that you would have learnt that with education comes different perspective of the same idea or theory, it doesn't make the other person less educated or in need of more education. Use the knowledge you acquired from the education you got.

ayettymama:

seriously?? what about sandra bullock?? halle berry?? shauna?? irina?? robyn gibson?? and these are even from the top of my head- im very sure theres a list somewhere!

lol if you were conversant with Nigerians too you'd be able to pick a good number of celebrities off the top of your head too. What this shows is that you are WRONG to claim that women who cling to cheating husbands do so because they have "african mentality".