Hello, my name is Bush and I am about telling you a story. I am twenty-something years old; which mean I have seen about twenty-something Christmas seasons, but trust me; this would definitely be the first I am about celebrating.

I just got paid a hefty amount to the tune of 60,000 Naira on the 20th of December, and that is exactly what I would use to make my Xmas a memorable one for me and my homeboy Jide. Little wonder why I have been having numerous nightmares – someone almost wanted to steal the money from me in my dream.

“I got robbed!!!” I screamed to my friend Jide with my eyes wide opened. He jerked back at the unbelievable news.

“How on earth did it happen?” He screamed as he held on to the upper part of my shirt. I kept looking at him confused.

“Let’s call the police” He suggested.


“No, I am just telling you the dream I had last night” I explained to him. I saw him breathe a sigh of relief. “Nice one buddy, you almost got me scared,” He said as he quickly dashed to the table in the house, and brought out a piece of paper.

“What’s that for?” I asked him while looking around the whole house searching for nothing.

“We gotta make plans and make sure that this money is utilized in such a way that the money is utilized efficiently to avoid the hullabaloo of mismanagement and financial collapse of any financial ecosystem”

I stood staring at him with my mouth agape. “So what does it mean?” “In brief” I reminded him.

“Let’s draw up a budget,” He said. I nodded my head in approval just before my phone rang.

We quickly went down to business. He brought the pen and paper closer, and I was already with the calculator in front of me. Figures, numbers, and projections were flying around, and we were already sweating real bad. It was a difficult task trying to buy a Range Rover Sports with the money suited for a Camry 2.2 1999 model.

“We good now?” Jide asked. “Yea” I nodded in agreement.

“So we move out tomorrow by 4 pm” Jide reminded me.

Jide left the house and shut the door. I quietly went to the pot beside the drinking water bucket. It clanged empty as soon as I opened it.



“Nonsense” I cussed.

“Can’t I just use part of this money to buy foodstuffs and others?” I asked myself.

“Hell No, I need to show em babes that I am now a working class” I defended strongly on a second thought.

If going to bed hungry that night would help me accomplish my flexing aim tomorrow, then I must sacrifice.


I went to the corner of my flat “bed”. It is so flat that my visitors always mistook it for a mat. I quietly brought out a piece of paper and started writing out the list of possible girls that I nominated to partake in my celebrations.

I needed to show them that I am now a working class, and I just received my first salary. I and Jide planned to spend the money bit by bit till the 25th of December, which would be the grand finale of our spending.

“Christmas isn’t for brokeasses” I screamed!!!

I couldn’t just wait for tomorrow being the 20th of December to come so that I do have a taste of what fun is. I already called Lola, Mary, Tessy, and Laura and informed them about the hookup tomorrow. The plan was to have Tessy attend, but since girls are unreliable, the others would serve as backup. Jide would come single, so as not to strain my financial power.

The alarm rang that morning louder than it ever rang. I guess it was because I barely slept. I couldn’t just wait, and the excitement made me shower with so much force

To be continued...

Source: http://topwritersden.com/fairy-xmas-celebrations-that-never-came/

zainmaxwell:

*Calls upon Calls*

“Hi Mary, this is the first time you are calling me since 3 months. You forgot your pants in my house?” “Don’t worry I will send em to you via courier?” I said and terminated the call immediately.

“Nikky… Nice to hear your voice; you know what, just call me on the 10th of January and I will listen properly” I said and dead went the line. No one would become the gold digger in my life. I already made out plans for the girls I chose.



*Jide bumps into the house prepared*

“You ready to move out boy?” Jide asked me.

“Just give me sometime bro, let me just adjust my hair a lil bit” I said while looking in the mirror and adjusting the curls on my hair. Well, I re-touched it with a relaxer, dye and a gel. I was looking for someone who just came to planet earth for the first time.

“Do you have some cash with you there?” Jide shouted from outside the house. I quickly ran through my torn wallet. “I have just our transport fare,” I said to him when I got out of the house.

“It would be nice if you can withdraw a lil bit of cash and keep for the sake of emergency” He requested. I gave him a stern look and giggled.

“You know your problem buddy?” I asked him “You always think like a poor fellow”

His eyeballs went deep into its socket and his face squeezed up.

“No offence buddy,” I said, “But you should learn to act like you are rich,” I said to him before flagging down a bike, and off we went.

Updates coming in...

oga bush don come again

[/quote] is it your

BiafraBushBoy:

is it your

It was already all Christmas despite that day is just the 20th of December. Everywhere bubbled with the crowd and we found a simple corner to sit. It was a moderate bar inside the national stadium at Surulere, Lagos. I was still observing the crowd when my phone rang.

“What’s up baby, are you still coming?” I asked Tessy.

“Yes babe,” she said. “But I need you to transfer 600 Naira worth of airtime for me to complete my airtime. I want to use a part of it to subscribe the monthly data of 1Gig for 1000 Naira, and the other one to call you when I get there. I have just 600 Naira worth of airtime already on my phone”

“Should I transfer it to this number?” I asked.

“No bae, transfer it to my other line that I use for my browsing” She responded

“I’m on it,” I said as I quickly brought out my phone, but forgot I didn’t have the numbers.

“Oh Shit, I don’t have that her phone number” I quickly called her back…

“Can you call out that other phone number for me?” I asked

“Ok bae, I will,” she said. I quickly called Jide to come close to use his phone to take down the numbers.

“Alright, call it now”

Jide took down the numbers and there was no time for confirmation. The dim lights around the venue were enough for him to see what he typed on his phone.

“Alright call out the numbers for me,” I asked Jide.

He called them out as I quickly typed in the figures I thought were necessary. I followed all the instruction prompts before hitting the send button.

After a while, I waited for a debit confirmation from my bank. I later got a text message which read “Thank You” as a response.

“Alright, I think she got it” I whispered to Jide.

I already ordered some drinks to keep ourselves together, while we waited for the grand entry of Tessy. The waiters were all nice and professional, and I had no trouble with the quality of their services.

“Why isn’t she here still,” Jide asked after a while “You have to call her again” He suggested

I brought out my phone and dialled her digits.

“You didn’t get what?” I asked

“You know what, let me resend another. Airtime shouldn’t be our issue here” I said before terminating the call and looking down on my phone.

It was a message from my bank.

Last update coming in...

“Acct: 217***254

DT: 12/20/2017: 6:39 PM

MC Loc Artym Trnsf

Wdl-000405201904 – 58B, A

DR Amt: NGN60,000.00

Bal:1,300.72

REF:263503113

Bank the Eazy Way with *966#”

My eyes were wide open. Saliva dropped out of my open mouth. I was starting to fell poo getting out of my trousers.

“Jide… come first” I managed to say after I regained my voice “What does this mean?”

“Was I debited or credited” I followed up with another question as Jide held onto my phone with his hands shaking.

“Which number did you send it to?” He asked

“The one you called out to me” I responded

We crosschecked the numbers once more and behold…



****

“Have you tried the number again?”

“It isn’t reachable”

“Oh, it is now switched off,” Jide said again.

Just then, Tessy walked in… “Is this how you use to do?” She queried in a low voice. I didn’t know how to make the explanation. I was still in the middle of looking out for how to explain when a guy came around and offered her a dance.

“My boyfriend is here,” She said

“When he is ready, he will come pick you up,” The man said. I turned around to ask Jide how we were going to escape from here, and he was nowhere to be found.

“What??” I screamed!

I turned around to follow suit, and I saw the waiter asking me for my payment. “Can we just step inside?” I requested.

********

I got a new yellow T-shirt as a result of serving drinks, washing plates, trays and picking bottles for 3 nights. I would have escaped beforehand, but the bouncer attached to me was scarier than I could imagine.

25th of December came, and it was truly a big day in the house of the lord. I attended one of the church camp meetings, and I just finished eating my Christmas beans.

Not bad for a start…

*****

“Why aren’t you celebrating Christmas?” Someone asked me

“Christmas celebration is for Pagans”

Not a bad answer for a broke guy.

The End…

lalasticlala.

Lol. A Beautiful and funny story.