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Single Guys Vs Single Mother's - Romance - Nairaland

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Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by kallmemrB: 3:40pm On Jan 03
Hi Everyone I wanted to share something concerning this issue cos have had my experience with it,I came up with this thread cos of what I read abt Adetoro Adeyemi ordeal
http://www.nairaland.com/4267527/adetoro-adeyemi-single-mother-deleted#63853611

Honestly its truely painful and hell for single mothers starting allover again,sometimes they are stigmatized for life which eventually makes some become loose,some angry ,some eventually ending up as 2nd and 3rd wife....we know that ain't great but you can't honestly blame guys or society for it,Though To some tribes/family its more like a taboo for their son to bring hone a single mother as wife...Yes they made their fair share of mistakes and deserve something better but poo happens and there's always consequence.. To have a kid is a blessing which some Slay Mamas don't appreciate cos most of their babies are form of ATM to receive money from their dads but let's look at it from a Singles Guy perspective....


Firstly Let's Start With the Family...

1 Family : Due to our unfriendly traditions and culture there are some certain expectations from Family when a guy is clocking certain age,the Mom is already planning and forecasting how her sons wedding will be,some will already be suggesting a good Girl preferably a virgin blabla.....Parents are always great at constant reminder of the kind of wife they want and clearly stating that you should never bring After 1( single mother) cos they will blatantly reject such even if you have a single mom in the Family...They always have a perfect picture of the marriage they want ...So as a single guy due to the fear ,respect and love you have for ur family consciously and unconsciously the idea of settling down with a single mother will be out of ur search criteria.... Every Lady you meet Having a child is a no no for you...70% of guys in our present society is having this issue.Remember no white weddings for Single Mom that sucks

Finance: They say one more additional person to the family is more bills...Yes You may Love and adore that lady but for an average single Guy who's just setting up his life,the idea of financing a partner his OK but not a family at first...Thinking of School fees,daily bills scare some off.

Baby Daddy Issue: I once told my ex then that once we eventually settle down I will adopt her child ,the responds I got was Capital NO,I was kinda sad but I did understand why she said so cos the baby daddy was still in the picture even though they ain't together he still plays his role but Then I was scared and having esteem issue that I wasn't having her in totality and also that no matter what I do she can never be all mine....Most Guys are scared of losing out on the child and also always feeling jealous when it involves meeting and seeing the baby daddy cos the idea of a perfect Family ain't real

Her Mistake Her Choice: Some guys don't care or wanna know how you became pregnant or had a kid .. all they feel is dating a single mother will make them feel cheated...Like After Wasting her life or enjoying the best of her life she wants to come and settle down with me that haven't even started mine...Questions like Who send Am?? Na me give am Belle?? When she dey sleep around was I involved??!
Yes some are right cos you can't blame them for thinking you have wasted some good years and now looking for a mumu guy to settle down with....We guys always want the best though it may not be what we need but who cares...With the high Rate of Slay mamas you honestly think they are doing it for money from yahoo guys or secure their future

Society: A great stumbling block is the society,Single Mom are not well respected or Accepted, Once you don't have a Good reason like been widow or something extreme they will hardly welcome you into their fold.. Single mum are always labeled and stigmatized so For a Young Vibrant Single Guy Society acceptance is a must cos every guy wants to show off his Gf to the world not someone's mother...The society at large still frowns on single mothers as mistakes so don't blame that guy


Honestly I don't blame her for her actions cos everyone needs a companion,Someone to relate and talk to always, so being Single sucks a lot but Finding a guy as Single mum its pretty hard...

With God all things are possible...don't give up yet who knows ur future husband may be closer than you think


Cc: lalasticlala, mynd44
Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by MANNABBQGRILLS: 4:02pm On Jan 03
Good article.......
Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by ubunja(m): 4:15pm On Jan 03
good topic.
its bad enough that a woman didnt give you her virginity and its adding salt to the wound that she didnt give you her first born.
i have spoiled many relationships of my friends who were hypnotised by single mothers.i once even paid a local Player to seduce one single mom a close friend was dating. and poof went the affair.and i didnt even feel any guilt.i cant betray a friend and let him be enslaved by a single mom's pvssy.
Guys need to know that the Single Mother kept you in the Friendzone while she went to hoe herself out.now she wanna grant you access coz her own value has gone down becoz of the kid.a single mother would be beyond your league if she didnt have that kid.that kid is what got her disqualified from dating her baby daddy.it made her lose value.
and even if a Single Mother made a mistake ITS NOT YOUR DUTY TO FIX IT. you were not there when she and the baby daddy were cumming in each other.you can not now offer your services to clean -up the mess.NO way.
guys i know you hunger for love.and i know Single Mothers use this weakness in all men to gain advantage.coz no woman can love you as deeply as a single mother can.still, rise above that and seek for what you trully deserve : a woman whose womb has not turned another man's sperm into a baby.a virgin womb to lay as a foundation to build your perfect family on.

grow some self-respect niggar.

7 Likes

Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by Cladez(m): 4:26pm On Jan 03
If its a divorced single mum,i would blame the society.

If its a single mum who took in while slaying,i would blame her and her alone.


WHO WAN MARRY TOKUNBO?

2 Likes

Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by Blackhawk03(f): 4:34pm On Jan 03
The guy above the guy above me is possessed. grin

1 Like

Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by Nobody: 4:45pm On Jan 03
This is a very nice topic indeed

This topic is very prevalent in our society. Many people within our African societies see single moms as retired prostitutes or highly promiscuous ladies at best.

They hardly want to conceive that the unwanted child is a mistake or an unfortunate incident that is already hard enough on the single mom involved.

On the other hand, single dads are given preferential treatments, that is if the dad stick around to take guardianship of his responsibility.

Although, some of those single moms do have a terrible past and some of them are promiscuous in a way i.e. the baby mamas like Sophia momodu

Nevertheless, I believe most have learned life lessons in a harsh way and more independent and reasonable than some single ladies without any baggage.

Therefore, it is important to give them a chance whenever we encounter one or at least remove the stigma from our minds,
Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by ubunja(m): 4:56pm On Jan 03
Blackhawk03:
The guy above the guy above me is possessed. grin
possessed by an opinion you hate grin
Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by Blackhawk03(f): 5:00pm On Jan 03
ubunja:

possessed by an opinion you hate grin

An opinion that I'm indifferent to... grin
Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by sammirano: 5:01pm On Jan 03
The only reasonable excuse of a single mom should be a deaceased spouse. And single mom should be more acquainted with single dads, such relationships complicate the life of a single guy.

1 Like

Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by lefulefu(m): 5:02pm On Jan 03
There are nice responsible single dads or widowers for a single mom to date.it musnt always be a single dude.
Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by lefulefu(m): 5:03pm On Jan 03
sammirano:
The only reasonable excuse of a single mom should be a deaceased spouse. And single mom should be more acquainted with single dads, such relationships complicate the life of a single guy.
GBAM!

1 Like

Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by ubunja(m): 5:05pm On Jan 03
Blackhawk03:


An opinion that I'm indifferent to... grin
do you see me giving a fvck? grin
the only thing im giving is a middle finger grin
Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by Blackhawk03(f): 5:07pm On Jan 03
ubunja:

do you see me giving a fvck? grin
the only thing im giving is a middle finger grin

Alright! Just stick it up your arse as usual. grin
Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by shaybebaby(f): 5:09pm On Jan 03
Single mum will date whoever it is she finds good enough and who values her in return be it divorced, single dad, single bloke or whatever.
Is this another attempt to place limitations of women and their choices in the dating pool? undecided

They should actually be celebrated because you know that saying, "for every woman raising a child alone, there is a deadbeat dad somewhere".

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by ubunja(m): 5:10pm On Jan 03
Blackhawk03:


Alright! Just stick it up your arse as usual. grin
i will
and as usual it goes to your lips after that grin
Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by kallmemrB: 5:13pm On Jan 03
shaybebaby:
Single mum will date whoever it is she finds good enough and who values her in return be it divorced, single dad, single bloke or whatever.
Is this another attempt to place limitations of women and their choices in the dating pool? undecided

They should actually be celebrated because you know that saying, "for every woman raising a child alone, there is a deadbeat dad somewhere".



sorry not in all cases...I know of father's trying to be in the child's life but mother's family are kinda aszhole who hates him ,always accusing him of destroying the Lady's life...sex was consensual.... so not all are dead beat...


Secondly not against single mothers but outlining the honest truth,I grew up with a single mum with 2kids so that's not the issue

3 Likes

Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by nezzar: 5:18pm On Jan 03
ubunja:
good topic.
its bad enough that a woman didnt give you her virginity and its adding salt to the wound that she didnt give you her first born.
i have spoiled many relationships of my friends who were hypnotised by single mothers.i once even paid a local Player to seduce one single mom a close friend was dating. and poof went the affair.and i didnt even feel any guilt.i cant betray a friend and let him be enslaved by a single mom's pvssy.
Guys need to know that the Single Mother kept you in the Friendzone while she went to hoe herself out.now she wanna grant you access coz her own value has gone down becoz of the kid.a single mother would be beyond your league if she didnt have that kid.that kid is what got her disqualified from dating her baby daddy.it made her lose value.
and even if a Single Mother made a mistake ITS NOT YOUR DUTY TO FIX IT. you were not there when she and the baby daddy were cumming in each other.you can not now offer your services to clean -up the mess.NO way.
guys i know you hunger for love.and i know Single Mothers use this weakness in all men to gain advantage.coz no woman can love you as deeply as a single mother can.still, rise above that and seek for what you trully deserve : a woman whose womb has not turned another man's sperm into a baby.a virgin womb to lay as a foundation to build your perfect family on.

grow some self-respect niggar.
Well said

1 Like

Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by deeLima86(m): 5:18pm On Jan 03
Now my question, who is placing limitations upon single parents that they can never find companionship and happiness from outside and to only mingle with their kinds? Certainly not God!
Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by Blackhawk03(f): 5:22pm On Jan 03
ubunja:

i will
and as usual it goes to your lips after that grin

Eeeeewwwww. Disgusting goat. angry
Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by ubunja(m): 5:24pm On Jan 03
Blackhawk03:


Eeeeewwwww. Disgusting goat. angry
if it makes you feel better i will eat your arse out wink
Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by Blackhawk03(f): 5:26pm On Jan 03
ubunja:

if it makes you feel better i will eat your arse out wink

Get behind me, young man. angry angry

1 Like

Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by ubunja(m): 5:27pm On Jan 03
Blackhawk03:


Get behind me, young man. angry angry
im already there wink
Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by Tosinex(m): 5:29pm On Jan 03
It's very difficult for a single guy to date and marry a single mum, because even his friends will talk him down talkless of his parents, and as a young vibrant promising young man, you will want to impress your friends and family and society at large by bringing in a beautiful young able damsel, lucky you are if she turns out to be a virgin, because I know you will keep boasting it to your friends face anyday anytime. Many guys shy away from single mum because they also don't want to take up the responsibility of another man's duty, it will look like an additional baggage to their luggage which may wary them down in the long run. Guys also stray away from single mum because of the security of their own offspring, I've seen a situation whereby the child from the single mum, became an obstruction to the progress and success of the offsprings of the man that marry that single mum. These are things that makes guys run away from single mum. Single mum on the other hand should place themselves well, mingle out more often and shouldn't hide the child away from the intending spouse, and also try as much as possible not to bring the responsibility of the child upon their new lover nor speak more often about the kid or the previous relationship except he asked, this might throw the guy off balance. Widowers and divorces are quite common to marry a single mum because in a way or the other they might also have kids from their former union which makes them tango well.

2 Likes

Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by pocohantas(f): 5:39pm On Jan 03
Menism is a tough call cheesy
Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by lefulefu(m): 5:46pm On Jan 03
greiboy:
This is a very nice topic indeed

This topic is very prevalent in our society. Many people within our African societies see single moms as retired prostitutes or highly promiscuous ladies at best.

They hardly want to conceive that the unwanted child is a mistake or an unfortunate incident that is already hard enough on the single mom involved.

On the other hand, single dads are given preferential treatments, that is if the dad stick around to take guardianship of his responsibility.

Although, some of those single moms do have a terrible past and some of them are promiscuous in a way i.e. the baby mamas like Sophia momodu

Nevertheless, I believe most have learned life lessons in a harsh way and more independent and reasonable than some single ladies without any baggage.

Therefore, it is important to give them a chance whenever we encounter one or at least remove the stigma from our minds,
Sophia momodu wey dem say dey smoke igbo even when pregnant.dat one na endtime single mom.
Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by lefulefu(m): 5:50pm On Jan 03
Tosinex:
It's very difficult for a single guy to date and marry a single mum, because even his friends will talk him down talkless of his parents, and as a young vibrant promising young man, you will want to impress your friends and family and society at large by bringing in a beautiful young able damsel, lucky you are if she turns out to be a virgin, because I know you will keep boasting it to your friends face anyday anytime. Many guys shy away from single mum because they also don't want to take up the responsibility of another man's duty, it will look like an additional baggage to their luggage which may wary them down in the long run. Guys also stray away from single mum because of the security of their own offspring, I've seen a situation whereby the child from the single mum, became an obstruction to the progress and success of the offsprings of the man that marry that single mum. These are things that makes guys run away from single mum. Single mum on the other hand should place themselves well, mingle out more often and shouldn't hide the child away from the intending spouse, and also try as much as possible not to bring the responsibility of the child upon their new lover nor speak more often about the kid or the previous relationship except he asked, this might throw the guy off balance. Widowers and divorces are quite common to marry a single mum because in a way or the other they might also have kids from their former union which makes them tango well.
na waoh brother are u marrying a particular lady to impress ur friends? cheesy. Single moms are not bad but its just the excess baggage they will carry along with them if u get married to them.But if its just a casual relationship u two are doing no wahala...but when it comes to marriage ol boy tighten ur belt for the missiles dat will fly.
Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by Nobody: 5:51pm On Jan 03
lefulefu:
Sophia momodu wey dem say dey smoke igbo even when pregnant.dat one na endtime single mom.
Yeah she is a very proud baby mama of a wealthy baby man (Davido)

What do you expect? grin grin

Those are not the single moms as a result of an unfortunate incidence jare
Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by Nobody: 5:51pm On Jan 03
pocohantas:
Menism is a tough call cheesy
So are you agreeing with the menist on this occasion? cheesy
Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by lefulefu(m): 5:54pm On Jan 03
greiboy:
Yeah she is a very proud baby mama of a wealthy baby man (Davido)

What do you expect? grin grin

Those are not the single moms because of an unfortunate incidence
there are responsible single moms around i agree with u on dat.sophia momodu na drugheadcheesy.
Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by Nobody: 5:56pm On Jan 03
lefulefu:
there are responsible single moms around i agree with u on dat.sophia momodu na drugheadcheesy.
Yeah that one self na gold digger cheesy

1 Like

Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by shaybebaby(f): 6:15pm On Jan 03
kallmemrB:
sorry not in all cases...I know of father's trying to be in the child's life but mother's family are kinda aszhole who hates him ,always accusing him of destroying the Lady's life...sex was consensual.... so not all are dead beat...


Secondly not against single mothers but outlining the honest truth,I grew up with a single mum with 2kids so that's not the issue
That happens in some cases which is a shame, a child needs both parents.
However, this instance is different because should the questioned ever be asked about the dad's whereabouts, one won't have to look far. As long as he doesn't allow himself to be pushed out, she isn't going it alone.

But we talking about this focus on women raising kids alone with the father nowhere in sight. That's because he walked away. Ofcourse society shames her but no one actually stops to think that there is nothing stopping a mother from walking away from her child too.e.g not every child left in an orphanage is without living parents.

So a person choses to stay and take up the responsibility regardless of the manner of conception of the child deserves enormous respect. Especially because they are playing the role two people should play.

1 Like

Re: Single Guys Vs Single Mother's by tosyne2much(m): 6:41pm On Jan 03
lefulefu:
there are responsible single moms around i agree with u on dat.sophia momodu na drugheadcheesy.
I wan tidy one single mother give you oooo make you take do new year cheesy

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