Can a massage really transform your s*x life?

I’m going to be honest. Sometimes at the end of the day I’m NOT in the mood. I’ve got a ton on my mind. I’m often tense, because I’ve got lousy posture and I don’t work at a desk (it’s my own fault; I’ve tried to remedy it, but I can’t. Or won’t). I grind my teeth at night which gives me jaw pain and headaches and neckaches.

And often I haven’t taken time to BREATHE during the day. I work all day, and at night I’m working on knitting this gorgeous shawl for Katie’s wedding, and so when night comes around, I haven’t actually sat still and just focused on breathing or on relaxing. Even if I had a great day, it doesn’t mean that my brain isn’t going at a million miles a minute.

Can a massage really transform your s*x life?

I’m going to be honest. Sometimes at the end of the day I’m NOT in the mood. I’ve got a ton on my mind. I’m often tense, because I’ve got lousy posture and I don’t work at a desk (it’s my own fault; I’ve tried to remedy it, but I can’t. Or won’t). I grind my teeth at night which gives me jaw pain and headaches and neckaches.

And often I haven’t taken time to BREATHE during the day. I work all day, and at night I’m working on knitting this gorgeous shawl for Katie’s wedding, and so when night comes around, I haven’t actually sat still and just focused on breathing or on relaxing. Even if I had a great day, it doesn’t mean that my brain isn’t going at a million miles a minute.

That’s where massage comes in, and that’s why I thought it would be great to talk about for this week.

How Massage Can Transform Your S*x Life–and Your Marriage!

A lot of us women need a good 20-25 minutes before making love to turn off our brains and concentrate on the physical side of our being–to just FEEL. I’m so much in my head that sometimes it’s hard to get out and enjoy my actual body. Massage brings me back to that.

And there’s something else, too. I was just talking to a friend about the benefits of massage on your marriage, and she said this:

“You’re touching each other. One of you’s naked. It’s not rocket science.”

I think she has a point. �



Let’s face it: It’s a little bit easy to not be naked much together. Even when we’re making love, clothes may only come all the way off right before–you know. In fact, some clothes don’t even NEED to come off, and if we’re lazy (or cold), for many they don’t. So you don’t actually get that intimacy of touching each other’s skin.

While it’s easy to argue that women need that intimacy–since women need to feel loved in order to make love, and we need to feel cherished, and we need time to warm up–men need it, too. Of course I’ve written that men need to understand how much women need pre-intimacy, but guys also need to feel close to their wives, and guys really do enjoy touching their wife’s body. Besides that, guys need to be touched, too! How many men have serious tension that just needs to be released?

Honestly, if I’m going to share just a little bit TMI on this blog (and I would never do THAT, right?), I’d have to say that massage gave the biggest boost to our s*x life.

A few years ago I was in a slump where I just could not get in the mood. But I found that when Keith gave me a massage, it helped immensely because I had that time to both mentally process things and get rid of them, and to get my thoughts focused on physical sensation rather than my to do list. Even though it took a while, Keith was pretty hooked!



Massage also gives abuse survivors a safe way to touch.

I was communicating with Emma, Denis’ wife who also works on the series, and she said that one of the things that surprised her after they released the videos was how many women were writing in saying, “this has really helped me break down some of the walls I put up from my abuse.” So many of us don’t like to be touched, or flinch when we’re touched, because of things that are done to us. But this delivers a 3-punch: First, it’s a safe touch, because it’s just massage. Second: It feels really good, which gives positive reinforcement. And third, it’s relaxing. So you’re actually able to relax when being touched, which to many is a huge victory!

But there’s even a fourth reason: you get to do the touching yourself. It’s a safe way to touch your husband for a prolonged period of time, and just enjoy his body, without feeling like it’s necessarily s*xual (though it’s likely getting there!). Again, it’s a way to break down barriers.

Just touch each other. Bless each other. Spend time naked together. It really does matter! And it can be very sensuous. Draw things out a bit. Even let your hands wander! But don’t forget the beauty of just touching each other. Sometimes we rush s*x so much that we don’t enjoy the rest of our spouse’s body, and that’s a shame. When you touch everything, and when you spend time even on the back or the legs or the arms–well, it’s like all your nerves are firing. And it’s so much more intense.

So add some massage into your s*x life. You’ll thank me, believe

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