Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,195,584 members, 7,958,812 topics. Date: Thursday, 26 September 2024 at 02:23 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Am Tired Of My Marriage (9807 Views)
I Am Tired Of My Marriage / I Am Tired Of My Wife / "I Am Tired Of Seeing My Husband's Hard Joystick Every Morning!" - Nigerian Lady (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: Am Tired Of My Marriage by ikpuru1234: 1:46am On Feb 03, 2018 |
Lovelywings: I called them as well they said I will be linked to them if am really in a danger from him, like those stalking types. That I also have to file against him at police. But other benefit I cannot get due to visa status. We are citizens of where we moved from and they are good with women. They gave me option of since I have a good profession I should wait until I start work then go and rent. I will keep searching. I wish I could get a temp accomodation now so i dont have to wait until 2-3months. Landlords also dont take unemployed people even with 3 months upfront; which I suggested as i have some savings. He sent me a text message 'I am sorry" yet we stay in the same house. It shows me his type of heart that you could do that kind of atrocity and feel that 3 typed words will make it alright. |
Re: Am Tired Of My Marriage by Lovelywings: 2:27am On Feb 03, 2018 |
ikpuru1234: Okay. It sounds like they told you to make a plan for the next 3 months of finding a job ASAP, then getting an place to move to. You just need to be careful over those three months. Save money secretly. Open a bank account he does not know of. Pretend that you are okay with things, even make up a reason why you want to get a job ("I see you work so hard honey, just want to help" and don't try to argue with him, just do it. The man is dangerous, and you just want you and your kids to survive. I hope the place you went to has an emergency shelter or can refer you to one? Make sure you have that info in case your husband goes bersek one day. These websites provide some advice. Do not log into them on any device your husband has access to!1 Do not let him know that you are planning to leave in the future. https://www.womenslaw.org/about-abuse/safety-tips/domestic-violence-victims/safety-when-preparing-leave-abuser http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/news-and-views/shine-a-light/getting-out-safely-how-to-leave-an-abusive-partner-20161019-gs5vc4.html https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/verbalabuseinrelationships/2011/05/develop-an-exit-strategy-how-to-stop-verbal-abuse-part-5/ https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/apr/28/i-had-the-courage-to-leave-an-abusive-relationship I hope you make it. I really do. 4 Likes |
Re: Am Tired Of My Marriage by ikpuru1234: 3:20am On Feb 03, 2018 |
TonyeBarcanista: All his/our friends are well mannered, God fearing and educated 1 Like |
Re: Am Tired Of My Marriage by Sagamite(m): 4:44am On Feb 03, 2018 |
Oyindidi: When you see a mental patient, you should be able to identify them. Abi you want to divorce your husband and marry this one, so you are just flirting with him first? |
Re: Am Tired Of My Marriage by Sagamite(m): 5:03am On Feb 03, 2018 |
ikpuru1234: Then that begs the questions: When did you know about this family history? When did he start demonstrating this similar traits as his shithole dad? Why would you have kids or more kids with such a psycho (if you knew before the kids/a kid)? Apart from those questions and the possible consequential error of judgement, my advice would be: - Stop fcking arguing with a mad man or engaging in any antagonising response .........(if you continue, you too get crase; only someone mad argues with a mad person, especially a violent one) - Start building your personal finances and support network patiently - Once you have the finances, get the fck out of the miserable institution called marriage (which, worse still, in your case is with a psychopath) - There is nothing for you in this set-up except misery and possibly death - Let him have access to seeing the kids after you leave No relationship or marriage is worth sacrificing your happiness for. Get out of it. As a woman, I know it is even worse for you as you are built to want to be loved and appreciated; that is what makes you happy in life. You will not get these in this current miserable set-up. You might have to wait another 10 years or so before you would be in a position to freely date again (i.e. the kids have flown the nest), but it would be better than another 10 years of this misery and would provide an opportunity to make better choices in a partner. 3 Likes |
Re: Am Tired Of My Marriage by Sagamite(m): 5:15am On Feb 03, 2018 |
ikpuru1234: There is no love in a situation where someone spits on you. It is not acceptable under any conditions. I spit on shit. You will not get happiness in this relationship. Memories like this don't go away. 1 Like |
Re: Am Tired Of My Marriage by Sagamite(m): 5:21am On Feb 03, 2018 |
ikpuru1234: It is not cheating and that is the least of your problems. Porn-o is God's special gift to men through the work of professional fellow humans! Nothing wrong with that shyt, it can be fcking spiritual if one is watching the right ones. It can even be a joint couple activity to spice up the fuku faka sessions. |
Re: Am Tired Of My Marriage by Sagamite(m): 5:28am On Feb 03, 2018 |
ikpuru1234: I would never go to third parties for my relationships. NEVER! We get along or move along. I have many friends I have been friends with for close to 20 years, never have I had to go to therapy or third people to continue my conviviality with them and we just don't fight seriously. We always resolve issues amicably. If there is any partner I am fighting with consistently, then we are not a fit or something is wrong with that person because at least I have proof nothing is wrong with me. Let the person go for therapy on her own. I would stay at home. 1 Like |
Re: Am Tired Of My Marriage by Advision: 6:38am On Feb 03, 2018 |
ikpuru1234: Honestly I think your husband has deep psychological issues. You may have to report him at a psychatric centre. Why will a man spit on someone else? 1 Like |
Re: Am Tired Of My Marriage by jaychubi: 6:39am On Feb 03, 2018 |
ikpuru1234: A wife is supposed to be 100% submissive to the husband dt means u must accept him as the leader n his decision is always final. D only reason to leave ur marriage is if he starts beating u and injuring u. Every other thing shld be forgiven even without being asked to? Spitting on u and u spit back was nothing bc u spit back too so what are you grudging about. U are d major problem not ur husband, u need to learn to be a woman and a wife not a feminist. Feminism is for single mothers n divorcees and never works in marriage. I think u shld go and kneel down and apologize to your Husband for not being submissive wife, I am sure he will weep n apologize too. |
Re: Am Tired Of My Marriage by Jman06(m): 8:08am On Feb 03, 2018 |
Some men really don't know how to treat women sha! Too much ego! Men should understand that women are highly emotional creatures. Just some sweet words to stroke their emotions will have most women doing what you want. But our egos will not let some of us. 2 Likes |
Re: Am Tired Of My Marriage by cococandy(f): 8:14am On Feb 03, 2018 |
Text him back and say “ do you want to talk about it?” Don’t be fixated on the inadequacy of his apology. Use it as leeway to open communication. If he replies ‘yes’ , you can bring up the topic of individual counseling like someone suggested above. I thought that was a good option. See what he says. If he ignores your response, ignore him too. Don’t talk to him. Don’t chit chat and sweep it under the carpet until he agrees to have a conversation about what happened. No mater how short. It’s a beginning . ikpuru1234: 4 Likes |
Re: Am Tired Of My Marriage by Oyindidi(f): 9:00am On Feb 03, 2018 |
Sagamite:Respek yourself Somebody wey dey insult me since |
Re: Am Tired Of My Marriage by Joy1706(f): 9:14am On Feb 03, 2018 |
cummando:She should become a robot ba? Don't talk or question, just do what he wants. Thunder fire you there. Bane leave him cos your kids are watching. Else they will become damaged. You can't raise kids in that environment. Please seperate 7 Likes |
Re: Am Tired Of My Marriage by Nobody: 9:25am On Feb 03, 2018 |
Joy1706:Thunder fire you too. Which one be swear? Na me be the husband. You dey craze By the way its separate .... Numb skull |
Re: Am Tired Of My Marriage by onegig(m): 10:08am On Feb 03, 2018 |
@ikpuru1234 One thing i have noticed. Once you become petty. Marriage can be a tough one. I understand all the previous tension but seriously. Who has time to be arguing back and forth to the point you guys were spitting on each other? You both seem like kids. If my niece and nephew were fighting over the colour of a ball i would understand they are still kids. But two grown adults? Like wtf? After all that shit show you still brought it up the next day? I no blame una. You have all the time in the world. maybe when you wake up by 5am do a one hour road trip get back home by 10pm you wouldn't care less whether a fictitious pastor in a movie was having marital problems or not. please learn to just take a chill pill when in such situations. Always ask yourself. Would this add 5k to my account at the end of it? Or would i be better served wasting precious energy on silly talks ? Maybe when people focus their energies on the right things and leave normal things to pass they would have better marriages. |
Re: Am Tired Of My Marriage by ikpuru1234: 10:33am On Feb 03, 2018 |
cococandy: Sorry am not trying to be rude but I dont think i will suggest talking to him again. I cannot make this relationship work all by myself, it must be a collective efforts. I tried talking to him the following day and what did i get? more spitting and shouting. If he asks for reconciliation I will suggest individual counselling first before together. Our GP can arrange that, if not we will continue living like housemates until I package my next move. For now, I take care of myself and kids, that's my priority. I wish I didn't relocate with him, dont even have any close friends to run or talk to. I would have left home with kids if not because of this new place. 1 Like |
Re: Am Tired Of My Marriage by Sagamite(m): 11:13am On Feb 03, 2018 |
Oyindidi: |
Re: Am Tired Of My Marriage by Sagamite(m): 11:14am On Feb 03, 2018 |
jaychubi: You are a cretinous fuuktard! Save up and get a sex doll. 6 Likes |
Re: Am Tired Of My Marriage by Sagamite(m): 11:21am On Feb 03, 2018 |
cummando: She is right, you are reetarded! Even as a man that is not into the equal partnership nonsense, I would never say I decide everything. Nor would I say in every relationship, the man (especially the ones like you) would always be the better decision-maker. Brain una no get! |
Re: Am Tired Of My Marriage by Sagamite(m): 11:23am On Feb 03, 2018 |
onegig: That I could not get my head around. I was flabberwhelmed and overghasted ni sha! |
Re: Am Tired Of My Marriage by Nobody: 11:28am On Feb 03, 2018 |
Sagamite:Learn to spell before quoting people like us Now let me enlighten you. Who should you be angry with, me or the husband? Ontop advice you dey insult me. Mark my words today what you have written to me shall manifest in every aspect of your life. Bye |
Re: Am Tired Of My Marriage by jaychubi: 11:32am On Feb 03, 2018 |
Sagamite: This advice is not meant for headless goat like u |
Re: Am Tired Of My Marriage by mostyg(m): 11:42am On Feb 03, 2018 |
I have come to learn that challenges could be physical or spiritual ( caused by forces we see not). Most often at times we seek physical solution forgetting the spiritual aspect. A very good way to know a spiritual problem is your type of dream/ nightmares. Dreams tell us a lot which we often ignore... You are able to write about your physical conditions, why not share the spiritual aspect here and let's see if it could be solved. I know a lot of you guys don't believe in the spiritual stuff, I would plead to be gentle on me. 2 Likes |
Re: Am Tired Of My Marriage by Sagamite(m): 12:45pm On Feb 03, 2018 |
mostyg: Typical black person! https://www.nairaland.com/4316979/marriage-finally-over/16#64699249 3 Likes |
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (Reply)
How To Catch A Cheating Boyfriend Or Husband- A Must Read For Ladies! / Questions For Married Men / Pls Help My Sister!
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 85 |