Bro abeg,while parking out of that house to your newly built own,please let me know,so I can park in..Thank you..


Then for my advice,I think you never treated this woman as someone you wished to settle down with initially, and she been clever had to pin you down with pregnancy..I think you better start reasoning her as your baby mama,and not your wife.so it will be easy for you to treat every of her nonsense. Be a man my niqqa,don't be a pussy niqqa.

Nothing new. Guys fall mugu everyday. Even those guys who think they are smart.

But throwing money at a woman who does not love you can make her stay longer with you until she finds someone richer.

Maybe there were early signs she was not even in love with you but you refused to see it.

OP,

By the way for now just try to be sure your kids are actually yours.

Do DNA test "codedly" as it appears you can afford it.

ennecco:
That is why is good to pray ask God to revael to you the woman you want to maried bcs marege is one way ticket .you shoud not divorce her bcs God hâte divorce if you dont want to be danger to hell fire.i dont know if you are a christian or muslim. I advised you to pray. Nothing too LATE for God to do.

I don't know if you are a christian or a muslim either but what is broken is broken. You can preach your religion to someone else but I will run away and severe ties with my wife if she threatens to kill me. It's your choice if you choose to stay with such a woman. Remove fanatical belief in your system ok. I don't even know if you are married or not but be cautioned as well.

Sorry bro, I can empathize what u are going thru right now, Yoruba do say sth "worse wife isn't bad to have but bad in-law is a problem that any reasonable being must avoid"


I don't mean to involve tribe talks here but am sure you're not Igbo and there is no love in that marriage

If you don't call for divorce and report the lady at the police station for threat of your life, if you eventually get trapped with her intimidation, you will have yourself to blame

Seek for divorce and include threat to your life, report the matter at the police station as well, so that she would sign an undertaken letter


Less I forget, never you allow her to have the custody of your kids, make sure you pray that court grant you the custody of your kids or else I see no end in her troubleness and I don't care attitudes

You married Obosi woman, toor you are on your own. What do you expect before, I believe people advised you at a time but you wouldn't listen. That's Obosi women for you

Please meet Emeka Ugwuonye of DPA. He will help you handle this issue. You search for him on Facebook.

cococandy:
You seem to have more details about this case

as a matter of fact,u took the words right out of my mouth. I suspect she might even b d person we are discussing!this her contribution Carry weight o

ofegge73:
Its so deplorable that even on the first day of school for my Son, she wasn't there.
I had sent her an SMS as well as to her Mum to prepare the child, so we can all drive to the school and get him inducted and all that. By the time I got to her father's house in surulere, she wasn't even at home that morning, well later on she came back home and just came to the living room where I and her father were talking and carelessly told me, it was no big deal.
I told her father, "did you hear that", that woman is incorrigible.

Contact Emeka Ugwuonye of DPA on Facebook, he handles issues like this

Not fair to judge from one side of the tale, but as I always say 'when in doubt, go with the man'...

Your wife is a perfect example of a feminist, you can bang the sh!£ out of her but don't ever marry her...so your first mistake is that you got married to her.

Yorubas will say a dog that will long lost heeds not the whistle of its handler; your wife is a lost cause...so let her go, there are too many women out there for one woman to now lord it over a man...a successful man at that.

Your duty now is first and foremost to yourself, your business and your children...in that order.

Yourself, because health is wealth and you need stamina to handle all the smallies that will be trooping after you...dude congratulations, you will be getting more tail than a toilet sit; a wife that sues for divorce divests her husband of the trouble.

Second to your business...you need to make money man...the most horrid men will have women flocking around them so long as they can afford it...I call it the fallacy of equal emotions, men tend to ascribe emotions such as love, loyalty and pain to a woman much as a man will ascribe same feelings to a dog...but like a dog whose loyalty is to the next hand that offers the bacon so is a woman's loyalty to the next man that brings the dough...any loftier emotions are alien to women though they pretend to it...the only true emotion a woman has is hypergamy, the instinct to marry up spurred on by her nesting instinct. Furthermore, your kids will love and respect you if for nothing else..for the comfort and prestige your money guarantees.

And lastly to the kids...if she refuses to relinquish control of the kids, no stress all na for the glory of God...make sure your kids fees are paid and once in a while drop in to check after their welfare; in time the kids will figure out who the real a-hole is..women are the worst custodian of children and the biggest abusers of children...an unsubmissive woman births effeminate men....all your kids, especially your son needs, is to see their dad doing well and showing affection.

Bros this is the world we are living in today, women have been brainwashed to think they are equal to men...even out here in the States a lot of men are starting to realize that in fact men are the price...and like I always tell these young boys, there's no longer any reason to get married..there's nothing on the marriage bed that you won't get better outside the marriage bed...

Happy divorced life bro #MGTOW

Divorce her sorry ass. My bros ex wife and her sisters with their dad threatened my elder bro with death if he divorces her. Today they are divorced under the state of ( ) USA . my bro has reagined his sanity.

crismark:
i jst dey pity ur foolishness here...

that is just it. His carelessness cost him all these.

You are a very weak man,so the woman is just taking advantage of you

Acidosis:
Although you didn't mention this; I'm 200% sure your marriage is intertribal.

This is one of those prices you have to pay for refusing to listen to elders in the game because you f00lishly assumed the love you have for each other can overcome everything
It only works on rare occasions: (i) when the parties involved are extremely wealthy; (ii) when either or both parties involved are orphans; (iii) when either or both parties is/are ready to act and live as orphans.

Again, you didn't mention this, but I am 400% sure your parents/relative warned you and told you to watch, but well, you listened to pathetically blind deceivers who told you marriage is between you and your spouse only. You listened to those telling you you're a man, and since you're above 18, you can take all decisions by yourself. Well you took this, but the consequences, you've got to bare alone.

Before you marry any woman, you should be sure you know her father/mother's attitude. You should be sure you can cope with their ways of life. Even if you married an angel, it only takes an emotionally intelligent parent to frustrate your home. You see all these new generational lovers who claim to marry their spouses 2 weeks, 1 week, etc. after DMs? They're not to be followed as role models.

You met a lady and in few months, you told yourself "after all, some people got married two weeks after meeting on tu-wee-ta (twitter)" You don't know where those ones are headed, but still you choose to follow them. There are people who have been married for 20 - 30 years, but we always consider them as "old schools".

You allowed those awwnn and awww from pathetic romance freaks lure you to the pit. Now you're in, and they're everywhere again looking for another shocking tu-wee-ta wedding story to type those awwnn, awww, to decieve some new breeds.

i could not hold back the laughter.

He was too careless... Damn too careless.

Maski87:
You are a very weak man,so the woman is just taking advantage of you

stop talking like this. A man who lives in a duplex and pays the rents is not weak. That alone should tell you his strength. Add to the fact he has almost completed his own building.

If this same guy pounce on her, many of you will call him beast.

There is a limit to everything a man can take.

This is why I am very sensitive to how ladies behave when dealing with them. The words from their mouth, the kind of friends they keep, their composure and how they treat people, how they react when angry often leave clues...

This guys error was that he was careless and busy making money. Many of them think that when you have money, a woman will obey your every command. WRONG.

They forget money can't buy love. They force themselves on a woman because they have money.

If I am getting married, I am gonna ask a lot of questions and let my lady know I HATE being taken for granted and do not forgive ANYONE who does that and if the SIN is too extreme, I can be very violent.

[quote author=ofegge73 post=65155375]Good evening Nairalanders, I have no idea how to go about making this as clear as possible, but truth is I married a stranger.
I met this Lady in 2012,we became friendly, and talked on consistently.
At the time she was on NYSC in Ikom cross River State. By the way she is from Obosi in Anambra state.
She was visiting me in Lagos every week, of course I paid for her flight tickets back and forth for all the times she visited till we got married and beyond. I have never let her use the bus or public transport to anywhere, it's either I drive her, she drives or a taxi.
A few months to her passing out, she told me she was pregnant, so I thought I would marry her and cut the drama short, but that was my undoing.
We got married, but all through, she spent more time with her parents and siblings.
Fast forward to 2016,my wife got a job through my sister in Abuja, and everything got worse, she wouldn't get back home till very late everyday.
Her explanation was that her boss delayed her.
I got to find out she was dating her boss later, even caught her at hotels in ikeja G. R,.A and on the island with her boss at very odd hours of the night.
Don't get me wrong, I am okay, I live in a 5 bedroom duplex in ikeja, the house is very comfortable and cosy, and almost completing my personal building at awoyaya in ibeju. i am not a poor man.
Well, she gave birth to my first child a boy, but insisted on C. S, then my daughter, through C. S too. All were elective!
She wouldn't come back home,and spent more time at her parents than in our home, always saying she needs herMum to watch the kids,while she is out, we got maids, but she was so violent with them, they all left.
Fast forward to 2017,i asked my wife to come back home, she refused, well I told her the marriage wouldn't work anymore,as she wasnt living with me for the past two years.
She immediately went and petitioned me at office of the Public defender in Lagos State citing domestic violence, irresponsibility as to my kids and stuff, I have always provided food, toiletries, medicals,as well as pay my children's school fees till this minute. But she teamed up with her Mum and brother to make up so many fabrications because they demanded I pay a stipend to them every month, and I said no, I won't do that, your daughter, my wife is in your house cos she wants to be there, not because I sent her away or anything like that.Her father is the only person who is sane, but the man is a pensioner and can't help himself much, so she treats him with intimidation She reported me to the police and all agencies you can think of, well at last they conducted their investigations and found out she was telling lies.
I am no more interested in keeping her, and she has vowed that I can't divorce her or I die, but my kids are the issue now.
I need sound advice on how to go about this.
Please no mockery, I am in dire need of good advice. Thanks.

So there can exist a woman under heaven that can be as fortunate, lucky as this woman is claimed to be and still misbehaves this way while numerous,beautiful,morally-sound, mannered women are everywhere looking for where to hide their heads.
Divorce straight! but you need. to be vigilant in terms of security consciousness because this kind of woman must be desperate to do anything to terminate your life.

Moral lesson from the story: Money can't buy love let alone joy.

Relationship built on fantasy and misplaced priority always come back to hunt the party involved.

This is an eye opener to single guys never to start a relationship seducing a lady with huge spending.

I always like to view a story from both ends before passing my judgement but if your story is totally true as stated, you need to take paternal, legal and spiritual steps.

On the paternal step, consult a medical practitioner to conduct paternity test on the children. For legal step, you know what needs to be done. Spiritually, you need to seek God hence any evil motive from her won't harm you.

Finally, marriage is not a child's game. Many people enter into it without clear purpose. It's better to be single and happy than married and frustrated.

The longevity of a man depends on his wife influence not economic stress. Many great men have died before their time because of women. "Atila" is an example!

Young man, He that has money have power, u have done all ur possible best to make her best among her fellow women, but u got it wrong in other way, by squandering money for her like never tomrw, I even doubt if those kids belong to u, cos from ur explanation I noticed she framed u up with those pregnancy, so my advice to u now is that use the money u have to get good lawyer and file for divorce, but i also see that this woman in question is more Educated and wiser than u, if not how could u get married to a lady and d same time u allowed her to leave with her mumm so, the error is from u too, i think many will learnt from ur mistake, it's unfortunate that u gave money and love chance to control u , real men controls wealth and not been control by wealth instead, so get ursef good lawyer and file for divorce that is my advice and if she threatens to take ur life thru Anambra juju, then get it in mind that she mean her word that is Anambra for u. Obinoezema194 @gmail.com

This guy is legit.

If you check his history he came on nairaland asking to meet a female. That was 2012. Seems you entered one chance. Pele.

Get a good lawyer but she still the mother of your kids so you are stuck for life. Make sure you divorce her first before moving anyone in. Look lol shine your eye. No carry money woe your next wife. You won't know why likes you for real. All in all to find good wife na luck. 60 percent of nowadays babes are like your own.

Ndo.

ofegge73:
Good evening Nairalanders, I have no idea how to go about making this as clear as possible, but truth is I married a stranger.
---------------

Secretly carry out a DNA test on your kids to know if they really are yours.

Get a good lawyer. You are getting a divorce

If the kids are your's, please they must never suffer. Do not relent from your responsibility as a father. Take care of their monthly upkeep and schooling.

Be battle ready to protect yourself. This woman can harm you or even kill you now she knows you want to go ahead with a divorce. I don't know how you will do this is Nigeria (I don't believe in juju) but overseas you can get a private security to watch your back 24/7 until you are able to relocate to an unknown destination.

I am sorry you are passing through this but S H I T happens.

desreek9:
The hypocrisy here stinks to high heavens cos it's the womans fault, nobody bother to say the famous "LETS HEAR THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STORY, DONT JUDGE",

why would a mother not live with her husband for 2 years? why would she claim domestic violence and her mother supports her if it isnt true (from his write up he didnt deny that fact)?

this man is fvcking rich, he can bribe policemen, lawyers to vouch for him and paint him WHITE AS SNOW,

agreed she commited adultery, what happen to "forgive and forget, try to bring your family together, pray to God to change her" that all of you use to preach cos obviously she doesnt want divorce?

Someone was even betting the marriage was inter-tribal when it all boils down to personality, smh!!

People here are hypocrites cos i know if it was reversed, every idiot will tell the wife to forgive the husband bla bla bla.

Nonsense

Well like I mentioned too, I like to view story from both parts before I could give a concrete advice but the bolded you mention is very difficult to achieve.

Your last statement justifies the gender mantra card you want to spring up but still doesn't give room for a married woman to be promiscuous.

This is my advice ,i hope you listen to it, you should take her to court for a divorce but before that i wish you could transfer your properties , cash maybe as a gift or a loan repayment to your mum or dad or someone you trust .. you can leave only 10percent for your self so that the woman won't benefit where she did not sow.. then take her to court.. also remember to tell the world about her death threats to your life.... shalom!

ofegge73:
Good evening Nairalanders, I have no idea how to go about making this as clear as possible, but truth is I married a stranger.
I met this Lady in 2012,we became friendly, and talked on consistently.
At the time she was on NYSC in Ikom cross River State. By the way she is from Obosi in Anambra state.
She was visiting me in Lagos every week, of course I paid for her flight tickets back and forth for all the times she visited till we got married and beyond. I have never let her use the bus or public transport to anywhere, it's either I drive her, she drives or a taxi.
A few months to her passing out, she told me she was pregnant, so I thought I would marry her and cut the drama short, but that was my undoing.
We got married, but all through, she spent more time with her parents and siblings.
Fast forward to 2016,my wife got a job through my sister in Abuja, and everything got worse, she wouldn't get back home till very late everyday.
Her explanation was that her boss delayed her.
I got to find out she was dating her boss later, even caught her at hotels in ikeja G. R,.A and on the island with her boss at very odd hours of the night.
Don't get me wrong, I am okay, I live in a 5 bedroom duplex in ikeja, the house is very comfortable and cosy, and almost completing my personal building at awoyaya in ibeju. i am not a poor man.
Well, she gave birth to my first child a boy, but insisted on C. S, then my daughter, through C. S too. All were elective!
She wouldn't come back home,and spent more time at her parents than in our home, always saying she needs herMum to watch the kids,while she is out, we got maids, but she was so violent with them, they all left.
Fast forward to 2017,i asked my wife to come back home, she refused, well I told her the marriage wouldn't work anymore,as she wasnt living with me for the past two years.
She immediately went and petitioned me at office of the Public defender in Lagos State citing domestic violence, irresponsibility as to my kids and stuff, I have always provided food, toiletries, medicals,as well as pay my children's school fees till this minute. But she teamed up with her Mum and brother to make up so many fabrications because they demanded I pay a stipend to them every month, and I said no, I won't do that, your daughter, my wife is in your house cos she wants to be there, not because I sent her away or anything like that.Her father is the only person who is sane, but the man is a pensioner and can't help himself much, so she treats him with intimidation She reported me to the police and all agencies you can think of, well at last they conducted their investigations and found out she was telling lies.
I am no more interested in keeping her, and she has vowed that I can't divorce her or I die, but my kids are the issue now.
I need sound advice on how to go about this.
Please no mockery, I am in dire need of good advice. Thanks.

first of all am never getting married

efesodje:


Secretly carry out a DNA test on your kids to know if they really are yours.

Get a good lawyer. You are getting a divorce

If the kids are your's, please they must never suffer. Do not relent from your responsibility as a father. Take care of their monthly upkeep and schooling.

Be battle ready to protect yourself. This woman can harm you or even kill you now she knows you want to go ahead with a divorce. I don't know how you will do this is Nigeria (I don't believe in juju) but overseas you can get a private security to watch your back 24/7 until you are able to relocate to an unknown destination.

I am sorry you are passing through this but S H I T happens.

Twik:
This is my advice ,i hope you listen to it, you should take her to court for a divorce but before that i wish you could transfer your properties , cash maybe as a gift or a loan repayment to your mum or dad or someone you trust .. you can leave only 10percent for your self so that the woman won't benefit where she did not sow.. then take her to court.. also remember to tell the world about her death threats to your life.... shalom!

Combine both advice. The poster's above is perfect. You will be alright. Cheers

GraGra247:


You didn't conclude the story of your kidnapped sister.


https://www.nairaland.com/3533903/sisterwas-kidnapped-yesterday

Abajo. So he could mindlessly waste colossal sums of money buying flight tickets for a stupid bitch every weekend, whereas his own sister had to travel with a commuter bus from Lagos to Abuja? If this whole story is not a figment of his imagination, then he deserves to be located and shot in the blokos.

ofegge73:
Good evening Nairalanders, I have no idea how to go about making this as clear as possible, but truth is I married a stranger.
I met this Lady in 2012,we became friendly, and talked on consistently.
At the time she was on NYSC in Ikom cross River State. By the way she is from Obosi in Anambra state.
She was visiting me in Lagos every week, of course I paid for her flight tickets back and forth for all the times she visited till we got married and beyond. I have never let her use the bus or public transport to anywhere, it's either I drive her, she drives or a taxi.
A few months to her passing out, she told me she was pregnant, so I thought I would marry her and cut the drama short, but that was my undoing.
We got married, but all through, she spent more time with her parents and sibling

Her explanation was that her boss delayed her.
I got to find out she was dating her boss later, even caught her at hotels in ikeja G. R,.A and on the island with her boss at very odd hours of the night.
I am no more interested in keeping her, and she has vowed that I can't divorce her or I die, but my kids are the issue now.
I need sound advice on how to go about this.
Please no mockery, I am in dire need of good advice. Thanks.

Are you sure those kids are yours and catching her at Ikeja hotel without evidencé or witness can backfire if not handled properly.

Go for a DNA taste first to ascertain whether the children you think are yours are truly yours.
Play dumb think smart,since its a family against you its clear they want money.. What ever call you make with her record it,Amy chat, message don't delete.might come in handy some day. Seek an advice from your lawyer..

Dear OP,
Kindly agree with me that u're still single. Until the DNA test results of those kids indicates their paternity, u're not even a baby daddy! Kindly fight for a divorce with all your might and claim ur kids if any. Start a new life.

ofegge73:
Good evening Nairalanders, I have no idea how to go about making this as clear as possible, but truth is I married a stranger.
I met this Lady in 2012,we became friendly, and talked on consistently.
At the time she was on NYSC in Ikom cross River State. By the way she is from Obosi in Anambra state.
She was visiting me in Lagos every week, of course I paid for her flight tickets back and forth for all the times she visited till we got married and beyond. I have never let her use the bus or public transport to anywhere, it's either I drive her, she drives or a taxi.
A few months to her passing out, she told me she was pregnant, so I thought I would marry her and cut the drama short, but that was my undoing.
We got married, but all through, she spent more time with her parents and siblings.
Fast forward to 2016,my wife got a job through my sister in Abuja, and everything got worse, she wouldn't get back home till very late everyday.
Her explanation was that her boss delayed her.
I got to find out she was dating her boss later, even caught her at hotels in ikeja G. R,.A and on the island with her boss at very odd hours of the night.
Don't get me wrong, I am okay, I live in a 5 bedroom duplex in ikeja, the house is very comfortable and cosy, and almost completing my personal building at awoyaya in ibeju. i am not a poor man.
Well, she gave birth to my first child a boy, but insisted on C. S, then my daughter, through C. S too. All were elective!
She wouldn't come back home,and spent more time at her parents than in our home, always saying she needs herMum to watch the kids,while she is out, we got maids, but she was so violent with them, they all left.
Fast forward to 2017,i asked my wife to come back home, she refused, well I told her the marriage wouldn't work anymore,as she wasnt living with me for the past two years.
She immediately went and petitioned me at office of the Public defender in Lagos State citing domestic violence, irresponsibility as to my kids and stuff, I have always provided food, toiletries, medicals,as well as pay my children's school fees till this minute. But she teamed up with her Mum and brother to make up so many fabrications because they demanded I pay a stipend to them every month, and I said no, I won't do that, your daughter, my wife is in your house cos she wants to be there, not because I sent her away or anything like that.Her father is the only person who is sane, but the man is a pensioner and can't help himself much, so she treats him with intimidation She reported me to the police and all agencies you can think of, well at last they conducted their investigations and found out she was telling lies.
I am no more interested in keeping her, and she has vowed that I can't divorce her or I die, but my kids are the issue now.
I need sound advice on how to go about this.
Please no mockery, I am in dire need of good advice. Thanks.

ofegge73:
Good evening Nairalanders, I have no idea how to go about making this as clear as possible, but truth is I married a stranger.
I met this Lady in 2012,we became friendly, and talked on consistently.
At the time she was on NYSC in Ikom cross River State. By the way she is from Obosi in Anambra state.
She was visiting me in Lagos every week, of course I paid for her flight tickets back and forth for all the times she visited till we got married and beyond. I have never let her use the bus or public transport to anywhere, it's either I drive her, she drives or a taxi.
A few months to her passing out, she told me she was pregnant, so I thought I would marry her and cut the drama short, but that was my undoing.
We got married, but all through, she spent more time with her parents and siblings.
Fast forward to 2016,my wife got a job through my sister in Abuja, and everything got worse, she wouldn't get back home till very late everyday.
Her explanation was that her boss delayed her.
I got to find out she was dating her boss later, even caught her at hotels in ikeja G. R,.A and on the island with her boss at very odd hours of the night.
Don't get me wrong, [b]I am okay, I live in a 5 bedroom duplex in ikeja, the house is very comfortable and cosy, and almost completing my personal building at awoyaya in ibeju. i am not a poor man.
[/b]Well, she gave birth to my first child a boy, but insisted on C. S, then my daughter, through C. S too. All were elective!
She wouldn't come back home,and spent more time at her parents than in our home, always saying she needs herMum to watch the kids,while she is out, we got maids, but she was so violent with them, they all left.
Fast forward to 2017,i asked my wife to come back home, she refused, well I told her the marriage wouldn't work anymore,as she wasnt living with me for the past two years.
She immediately went and petitioned me at office of the Public defender in Lagos State citing domestic violence, irresponsibility as to my kids and stuff, I have always provided food, toiletries, medicals,as well as pay my children's school fees till this minute. But she teamed up with her Mum and brother to make up so many fabrications because they demanded I pay a stipend to them every month, and I said no, I won't do that, your daughter, my wife is in your house cos she wants to be there, not because I sent her away or anything like that.Her father is the only person who is sane, but the man is a pensioner and can't help himself much, so she treats him with intimidation She reported me to the police and all agencies you can think of, well at last they conducted their investigations and found out she was telling lies.
I am no more interested in keeping her, and she has vowed that I can't divorce her or I die, but my kids are the issue now.
I need sound advice on how to go about this.
Please no mockery, I am in dire need of good advice. Thanks.

you think wealth is the criteria for getting a good wife?
A faithful woman always a faithful woman and contented with what she has.
I've seen couples who got married with nothing and work together to succeed.

In fact just divorce he jare

My only advise here is make sure you do a paternity test to be sure those kids are yours first before you proceed for legal actions

desreek9:



Anybody can be a good samaritan even an evil person, him showing receipts and all doesnt change anything,

This man feels threatened cos she's in her parents house, had it been she was somewhere else do you think he wudnt have bundled her and his kids back home,

Check his write up he contradicted himself at first, making it sound like she was always at her parents house from onset when it was actually 2 years ago,

Violence was involved dats why she packed and left and he cant do anything cos of where she is dats why he went the-law way,

He's just trying to prove he's the man cos he doesnt want people to say his wife left with his kids, he doesnt have control so he needs to paint her black,

That woman is remorseful for what she did, if she is not she wud have gladly divorce him.

This is not adding up too. A woman being brutalised by her husband would not have a second thought to having extra-marital affair. Your comment is laced with too much emotions. Widen your scope when reasoning on sensitive matters like this.