I met my girl two years ago...i approached her for a relationship she accepted, i was through with service then. I seriously hoped that maybe in two years or three we would be settling down..
But up till now I have not had any steady means of income and I have been moving from place to place changing my locations just to look for greener pastures.. Right now I am in far away PH and she is still in school at Kogi. I try to make out time to visit her in school.. This is very very expensive for me but I just thought it was a necessary act since I loved her very much.

Now the problem is that I am the first son and first child of my family and I have a lot of responsibilities back home, she too is also the first child and first daughter of her family with so much responsibility too.

I am trying hard to stabilize, but due to the bad economy and all of that nothing seems to be working for now.. Moreover some of the little monies I make I send some to her to help her in school.. Her school is a very demanding one with a lot of monies being invested.. Though I have tried to cater for some little things now I feel so guilty that I cannot afford to send her monies again..our families are both struggling but my family is still better than hers financially.

Right now I really need a break to focus on my future.. But i don't know how to tell her.. Cos I love her so much and we have shared a lot of dreams in the past about how we intend to live as husband's and wife.. Really I am confused and don't know what to do...

Please what do you advice

*I have never cheated on her so it is not about sex though
*she has also never visited me cos she is afraid of what her parents might think

secretsuccess:
I met my girl two years ago...i approached her for a relationship she accepted, i was through with service then. I seriously hoped that maybe in two years or three we would be settling down..
But up till now I have not had any steady means of income and I have been moving from place to place changing my locations just to look for greener pastures.. Right now I am in far away PH and she is still in school at Kogi. I try to make out time to visit her in school.. This is very very expensive for me but I just thought it was a necessary act since I loved her very much.

Now the problem is that I am the first son and first child of my family and I have a lot of responsibilities back home, she too is also the first child and first daughter of her family with so much responsibility too.

I am trying hard to stabilize, but due to the bad economy and all of that nothing seems to be working for now.. Moreover some of the little monies I make I send some to her to help her in school.. Her school is a very demanding one with a lot of monies being invested.. Though I have tried to cater for some little things now I feel so guilty that I cannot afford to send her monies again..our families are both struggling but my family is still better than hers financially.

Right now I really need a break to focus on my future.. But i don't know how to tell her.. Cos I love her so much and we have shared a lot of dreams in the past about how we intend to live as husband's and wife.. Really I am confused and don't know what to do...

Please what do you advice

*I have never cheated on her so it is not about sex though
*she has also never visited me cos she is afraid of what her parents might think

First off, your feelings of loyalty are normal for men, but it is very unlikely that your girlfriend shares them. Women are subject to hypergamy, the willingness to trade up to get a superior man whenever possible. If a better guy came along tomorrow morning, she'd have enough time after banging him to make him a sandwich for lunch. It takes a real woman of character to resist such urges and it is impossible to know which women have such character until it is tested.

The point being, women believe selfishness is a perfectly fine reason to dump a guy they've made promises to, and so, your anxiety over your own possible selfishness is misplaced. Marriage has no more legal benefits to men since the rise of no-fault divorce, and you do not owe her anything at all - no ring, no promises, and no other consideration. She would have none for you.

My standard break-up speech is "It has become clear to me that we have different goals for our relationship and it is too painful for me to continue to see you. This decision is final. I will remember our time fondly and I hope you will too. Out of respect for my feelings, please don't contact me again."

A clean, solid break that extinguishes all hope is the most compassionate way to break up. Trying to soften things, or easing the blow, will just give her false hope and draw out her grieving and recovery process unnecessarily. Giving her any shred of hope is the cruellest thing you can do.

Well ! well ! well!

This is a pickle

On one hand, you really love this girl but she needs a lot of financial support that you don't necessarily have

On the other, you don't have the money she needs and you really need to focus on your life for the sake of your family.

Honestly bro, as a neutral here, I don't see any problem with you breaking up the relationship, but I feel you really love this lady from your comments

Think about these for a second

1) Are you fully aware that this lady owes you nothing in the end, so that should strongly negate the feeling of indebtedness you have for her

2) Do you understand that your future and the wellbeing of your family is more important than a romantic relationship to you right now.

I think you need to think about the facts I stated above



Good luck breaking up with her

Eeehyah sorry bro


I don't think there's any point telling her you want her to be on her lane while you hustle up. Sometimes, you lose the ones that loves you while chasing money

Be a man.. Hustle hard and keep your woman alongside

You should focus on yourself, immediate fam. and your hustle, you are the first son bro. leave girl matter,,, forget all this love this and that be focussed.

trying to take care of her too will surely break/slow you down, Be established first, then give her all the loving.

if tomorrow she meets a wealthy guy, do you really think she will stick with you lol. Be wise.

what is so difficult in telling her how much you love her, but cant meet up with the financial obligations at the moment, that it be fine soon.

U brk up if u knw u can get over her. If u feel she can't be loyal wen richer guys come on board, bro save urself d stress.

Second of all, don't send her to school again. Use the monies to get ur self a degree in Linguistics majoring in English Language.
Thank me later

Thanks for your advices

Your Interest And Self Comes First... Make Your Life A Better Place... She Either Waits For You Or Go Her Way... Leave Love And Focus On Your Purpose

If you want to become a disturbed personality, have a girlfriend. - Delugajackson, 2018.

My advice to you is, do not misplace purpose with pleasure. We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark, the real tragedy is when men are afraid of the light. I'm impressed at your grand awakening. You may think you have a lot to lose, but this is a step in the right direction. You have the mindset of a hustler, I respect that a lot, but first you need to remove that feeling of indebtedness in your dealings with women. You don't have to take care of all her needs, as they will tend to increase by each passing day.

You need clearly defined goals to get to where you want in life, and there's yet to be any girl in this generation who would chose to stay while you actualize those goals. Never get too attached to a person, things are better when you don't let people know your business. In any goal you perspire to achieve in life, always view its ultimate achievement, cut off unnecessary distractions and focus on the hustle. Enjoy life and explore other options while you still can cause life na just one copy.

I really wish I could say this to myself, but then again its life and we all get to learn someday.

harry2sexy:
Second of all, don't send her to school again. Use the monies to get ur self a degree in Linguistics majoring in English Language.
Thank me later

As long as you're able to read what he wrote and you decides to write this shii for cheap LIKES that can't feed your you nor your family...


You deserves a THUNDEROUS slap

The feeling to achieve more for oneself as regards self sufficiency is okay, but still, the lady might be ready to push through with you. If you found a good lady, you love her and she loves you in return obviously, then, there's no need to break up. Hustle hard, do not get too distracted, since she's just a lover, try and balance it, let her know your plans but not breaking up because u want to face your life, what's that guarantee u would be successful in the long run? As you hustle, if she tags along fine, and if she doesn't follow the pace, let her be. But believe me, do not put your eggs in one basket, any lady can leave u anytime, family is bae, double your hustle, carve a future for yourself, and you would never regret anything!

*she has also never visited me cos she is afraid of what her parents might think*


Whatelse has she done for you? Because I think there is more. Start listing them out ..

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∆ She might be willing to stick with you. How about that?

Make your intentions known to her first. ∆



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