grafixdon:
You want to beat your father up? Go ahead, one day you'll marry hence you'll understand better.

Tell your mum to stop running her mouth and keep quite when necessary. Your dad isn't a mad man, he can't be beating your mum without reason. Two wrong doesn't make a right. One need to be submissive to another.

praiseneofingz:
bless u

mhisbliss:
Of all the section on nairaland you choosed to post this on romance section, where the likes of the two above can be found werey people.

Back to the matter, This is obviously an abusive marriage, i wonder why she said yes to a divorcee in the first place and even bearing it for 21good years,

Fighting him wont stop anything, you risk getting killed, you might kill him too, then people wont care what he did, they'll be like, look its that guy who killed his dad, you'll goto jail and your life is ruined, causing your poor mum more pains.

Just hustle hard, make the greens, get your mum a decent rented apartment and find her something to be doing, maybe a trade or sue your jerk of a father to court and compel him to sign an undertaking, that way the law will fight for you

grafixdon:
You want to beat your father up? Go ahead, one day you'll marry hence you'll understand better.

Tell your mum to stop running her mouth and keep quite when necessary. Your dad isn't a mad man, he can't be beating your mum without reason. Two wrong doesn't make a right. One need to be submissive to another.

mhisbliss:
Of all the section on nairaland you choosed to post this on romance section, where the likes of the two above can be found werey people.

Back to the matter, This is obviously an abusive marriage, i wonder why she said yes to a divorcee in the first place and even bearing it for 21good years,

Fighting him wont stop anything, you risk getting killed, you might kill him too, then people wont care what he did, they'll be like, look its that guy who killed his dad, you'll goto jail and your life is ruined, causing your poor mum more pains.

Just hustle hard, make the greens, get your mum a decent rented apartment and find her something to be doing, maybe a trade or sue your jerk of a father to court and compel him to sign an undertaking, that way the law will fight for you

labake1:



Hello dear I am just on low-key

Troubledmind:
I'm Frederick (pseudonym) i come from a family where raising your hands against your parent is a taboo, my mum has been with my dad for 21 years, she's a second wife, the first wife is living elsewhere, they got divorced before my mum came, now my dad disrespect my mum everytime, he barks at her for nothing, even things that shouldn't cause trouble he'll pick offense, he beats her in our presence, back then when I was young and helpless I'll just watch and cry but now I'm grown, i can beat him up anytime now because I told him the last time that if he touches my mum again I'll kill him, i regret telling him that but i was enraged, this poor woman endured this for 21yrs, currently I'm not at home, i got a call from my kid sis telling me he has started again, since my last warning he was quiet, now he's back to his old self, the worst thing is, he has other children, he'll always call my siblings and tell them bad things about me and mum, they don't talk to her or me(my elder bro and sis) dont talk to me or mum, I'm the second child from mum and the ninth child from dad, he's always battering mum and causing a rift between me and my siblings.

He pays thier school fees including my old bro who's almost thirty and my immediate younger sis but he refused to pay mine, the only siblings that talk to me is the last born and the youngest girl, the rest sided my dad

Please what do i do, i dont want to be someone who beat up my dad

Temple1288:


You're completely wrong!

Beating up a woman only shows weakness! Absolute weakness.

Originalsly:
Op...your father is a coward. You made a threat...he calmed down. He started again..... you have to follow through with your threat... or your mom will now see hell.... your father will give her all the beatings she missed while he was afraid of what you will do. I do understand you not wanting to raise your hands on your father...that's taboo... bUT....times are tough...for a small price you can always hire a thug or two to give him a small beat down.... quite a few slaps....thumps in the head..mild kicks in his backside...then drape him up by the collar.....and let him know all that is just a warning.... that his wife is not all alone in the world....he shpupd never again shout at her or worse..hit her......and should he ever relate this small physical discussion to anyone....he should be prepared to start a new life as a cripple....his life his choice. Do all this away from home...at his work site will be best.

Beey:
Some comments make me mad.Like this one.Is there a reason good enough to beat a grown woman? Is she his wife or daughter? Were you there when his mom was running her mouth like you said? Gosh, these kind of comments just piss me off.It's like you are saying for his dad to get respect he must beat his mom up.Respect is earned & can't be obtained through force.Either you protect your mom because leaving her to be beaten up is betrayal in itself, or have her consider separation from your dad until a solution is found.

Adebowale89:
are you people a Christian? do you build any relationship with your dad prior to this abuse?


a family that pray together, stay together. bring yourself lower to a standard of a son to a father. talk to your dad, if you ve once address him rudely postrate and apologise, tell him you won't do it again, build a relationship with him, make him your best friend


then addressed your dad about the issue prior to that, talk to your mom to tolerate him whenever he's louding his voice at her just for peace to reign, since you're close to your mom, you should be able to address her cheerfully, so continue talking to your dad by telling him he should forgive your mom and always be patient with her because the way woman thinking is not the same with man, tell him you ve talked to her to always give you the honour as the head and some additional words



do you know you can tell someone is head is not correct and he/she won't get angry, the way you present it, is what matter. "what you did is wrong" you've tell that person his head is not correct because if his/her head is correct he will do the right thing in the first place



why I made that illustration is for you to know how to approach the matter. I was once a victim but when I grown to the level of addressing my parent I told my dad "is it a duty for man to always beat his wife whenever they ve a misunderstanding? I want to know so that I can plan how to start practicing how to beat my wife(sarcasm) he was so ashamed of himself that day and he couldn't utter a words, the beating ended that day



I hope my jargons help in anyway

Daboomb:


Hehehehe...hire thug to beat him up?

You are assuming that all fathers are weak and cant do nothing!
What if the father is in a position to hire even tougher thugs to finish the child who sent thugs to beat him up?
What l am pointing out is that all these "advice of violence" is something you cannot predict where it will end.

Once a line is crossed by the son, "all bets are off" and they become sworn enemies.
In that situation, the father has the right to defend himself, using all possible means and you dont want to anger an old man, in such way (rubbing his pride).

Not to mention that he has other older, male children who can do the dirty job on his behalf.

We should always think things through, properly and think about the consequence of our actions, before embarking on them.

Originalsly:
That's the reason for him to be told his wife is not alone in the world.... for him to believe it was the wife's relatives/friends.... .to rule out the involvement of his son. Almost always... if a man been beating his wife.... it takes the threat of violence or violence against him.... or the threat of imprisonment for him to back off.

mhisbliss:
Not you too naw, didn't you read where he said they divorced before the mum got there? No one deserves an abusive marriage, even if you're the 11th wife

Troubledmind:
I'm Frederick (pseudonym) i come from a family where raising your hands against your parent is a taboo, my mum has been with my dad for 21 years, she's a second wife, the first wife is living elsewhere, they got divorced before my mum came, now my dad disrespect my mum everytime, he barks at her for nothing, even things that shouldn't cause trouble he'll pick offense, he beats her in our presence, back then when I was young and helpless I'll just watch and cry but now I'm grown, i can beat him up anytime now because I told him the last time that if he touches my mum again I'll kill him, i regret telling him that but i was enraged, this poor woman endured this for 21yrs, currently I'm not at home, i got a call from my kid sis telling me he has started again, since my last warning he was quiet, now he's back to his old self, the worst thing is, he has other children, he'll always call my siblings and tell them bad things about me and mum, they don't talk to her or me(my elder bro and sis) dont talk to me or mum, I'm the second child from mum and the ninth child from dad, he's always battering mum and causing a rift between me and my siblings.

He pays thier school fees including my old bro who's almost thirty and my immediate younger sis but he refused to pay mine, the only siblings that talk to me is the last born and the youngest girl, the rest sided my dad

Please what do i do, i dont want to be someone who beat up my dad

Kissup:
11th wife ke.Did his mum ask the first wife why she left the marriage?theres an adage in my place that says the cane he used in beating the first wife is at d back of the door waiting for d next

delishpot:
Sadly this is what the average Nigerian wife passes through at the hands of husbands. Tomorrow some foolish man[/b] will come out to write epistle about how Kids treat their mothers like gods while ignoring their dads who paid their bills. Look now many homes are passing throgh this type of shit in one form or the other but [b]hypocrites will not admit that their fathers over did the headship thing. God is watching and [b]will judge all of you[/b]vfor the shit your wives,mothers,sisters and daughters pass through.

- Child stays in Mum's tommy for 9months, bond already established before birth
- Child suckles Mum's breast for another 9-24months, that is a no-brainer (even wives can attest to this breast sucking thing )
- Mum backs child for another three years or so
Fathers are trained to be stoic and independent, with self pride so the attachment to the child is not always there.