Mudley313:

What does Jesus have in common with Zombie, Frankenstein and Dracula?

lol nice picture

bawomolo:

God's time is the best. don't rush him.

lol they are from a few blogs i frequent. i would get links in a minute.



[url]http://photobucket.com/images/funny%20jesus/[/url]

what's the point of this particular joke?

It seems senseless imo. Is it supposed to have a punchline? Which is?



anyway, have your fun. When I have time I'll pull up some similar jokes about atheists.

Krayola:

Miraculous ojoro. If ref calls foul would that make him hellbound?

Yes, naturally.
_{i hereby nominate this thread as the goofiest thread of the year. challenge ko, dugbe ni.}

lol where is OP

OP has ran fi cover after throwing up a challenge backed by his all-powerful imaginary god. once again, reality triumph over blind delusion

anyway, have your fun. When I have time I'll pull up some similar jokes about atheists.

the sad part tho is dat the christian jokes are actually the reality of the situation

An atheist buys an ancient lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it.

Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, “I’ll grant you three wishes, Master.”

The atheist says, “I wish I could believe in you.” The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him.

The atheist says, “Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this.” The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies.

“What about your third wish?” asks the genie. “Well,” says the atheist, “I wish for a billion dollars.” The genie snaps his fingers for a third time, but nothing happens.

“What’s wrong?” asks the atheist. The genie shrugs and says, “Just because you believe in me, doesn’t necessarily mean that I really exist.”

An atheist buys an ancient lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it.

Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, “I’ll grant you three wishes, Master.”

The atheist says, “I wish I could believe in you.” The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him.

The atheist says, “Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this.” The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies.

“What about your third wish?” asks the genie. “Well,” says the atheist, “I wish for a billion dollars.” The genie snaps his fingers for a third time, but nothing happens.

“What’s wrong?” asks the atheist. The genie shrugs and says, “Just because you believe in me, doesn’t necessarily mean that I really exist.”

way to go on one of the crappiest attempt at humor ever

*If there were no God, there would be no atheists*.

~~~~~

*An athiest is a man with no invisible means of support*

~~~~

*I am a daylight atheist.*

~~~~

*The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank.*

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*15,000 Atheists in London rioted after a blank sheet of paper was found on a cartoonist's desk."(if you don't get it, remember the Muhammad cartoons where Muslims rioted.)*

~~~~


*Did you hear about the atheist dung beetle?
--It didn't believe in sh**t!*

~~~~


*One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the orangutan was reading two books, the Bible and Darwin’s Origin of Species.
Surprised, he asked the ape, “Why are you reading both those books?”
“Well,” said the orangutan, “I just wanted to know if I was my brother’s keeper or my keeper’s brother.”*


~~~~



*A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, “Jeff proposed to me an hour ago.”
“Then why are you so sad?” her mother asked.
“Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn’t even believe there’s a hell.”
Her mother replied, “Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we’ll show him how wrong he is.”*


~~~~


*How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won’t claim that god did it.*


~~~~

*An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created.

“What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!”, he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the casue was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that moment, the Atheist cried out “Oh my God!….” Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, “You deny my existence for all of these years; teach others I don”t exist; and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?”

The atheist looked directly into the light “It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as Christian now, but perhaps could you make the bear a Christian?” “Very well,” said the voice.

The light went out. The river ran again. And the sounds of the forest resumed.

And then the bear dropped his right paw …,  brought both paws together…bowed his head and spoke: “Lord, for what I am about to receive, I am truly thankful.”*

During the Reign of Terror of the French Revolution, one morning's executions began with three men: a rabbi, a Catholic priest, and a rationalist skeptic (an atheist).

The rabbi was marched up onto the platform first. There, facing the guillotine, he was asked if he had any last words. And the rabbi cried out, "I believe in the one and only true God, and He shall save me." The executioner then positioned the rabbi below the blade, set the block above his neck, and pulled the cord to set the terrible instrument in motion. The heavy cleaver plunged downward, searing the air. But then, abruptly, it stopped with a crack just a few inches above the would-be victim's neck. To which the rabbi said, "I told you so."

"It's a miracle!" gasped the crowd. And the executioner had to agree, letting the rabbi go.

Next in line was the priest. Asked for his final words, he declared, "I believe in Jesus Christ the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost who will rescue me in my hour of need." The executioner then positioned this man beneath the blade. And he pulled the cord. Again the blade flew downward thump! creak! , stopping just short of its mark once more.

"Another miracle!" sighed the disappointed crowd. And the executioner for the second time had no choice but to let the condemned go free.

Now it was the skeptic's turn. "What final words have you to say?" he was asked. But the skeptic didn't hear. Staring intently at the ominous engine of death, he seemed lost. Not until the executioner poked him in the ribs and the question was asked again did he reply.

"Oh, I see your problem," the skeptic said pointing. "You've got a blockage in the gear assembly, right there!"

^^like, duuuhhh^^

*"An atheist walked into a bar, but seeing no bartender he revised his initial assumption and decided he only walked into a room." *


~~~~~~


An atheist is sitting in a row boat on the middle of a lake, fishing peacefully and minding his own business.

All of a sudden, a purple three-headed dragon pops up out of the lake and snatches up the row boat in its massive jaws.

The atheist shouts "Oh God, help me!"

The whole scene freezes mid-frame and a booming voice comes out of the sky.

"Why should I help you when you did not believe in me?"

The atheist says, "Come on, give me a break. A minute ago I didn't believe in purple three-headed dragons either."



~~~~~~~

@ tpiah

why dont u for once respect the words of your holy scripture instead of indulging urself in copying n pasting a flurry of humorless banters

one liners:


"Nobody talks so constantly about God as those who insist that there is no God." - Heywood Broun



In some awful, strange, paradoxical way, atheists tend to take religion more seriously than the practitioners. --Jonathon Miller



I'm still an atheist, thank God.
Luis Bunuel


"If there were no God, there would be no Atheists." - GK Chesterton

more

the last coccroach one was more of a joke but how so true is this one

. . .and finally

tpia.:

one liners:


"Nobody talks so constantly about God as those who insist that there is no God." - Heywood Broun



In some awful, strange, paradoxical way, atheists tend to take religion more seriously than the practitioners. --Jonathon Miller



I'm still an atheist, thank God.
Luis Bunuel


"If there were no God, there would be no Atheists." - GK Chesterton

Probably being jealous of the fact that many things beyond man are attributable to him

lmao nice exchange here

jesus.:

Probably being jealous of the fact that many things beyond man are attributable to him

lol very likely.
ebi like say God is too important&powerful that both theists&atheist like to talk about the man ,

lol very likely.
ebi like say God is too important&powerful that both theists&atheist like to talk about the man ,

your god is now a man? make up your minds u delusional freaks

your powerful god just lost a simple challenge put forth by one his delusional followers. u mad?



another one for the house:

Mudley313:

your god is now a man? make up your minds u delusional freaks

your powerful god just lost a simple challenge put forth by one his delusional followers. u mad?



another one for the house:

I hope u have eyes to see the comical aspect of my post

toba:

lol very likely.
ebi like say God is too important&powerful that both theists&atheist like to talk about the man ,

tpia.:

what's the point of this particular joke?

It seems senseless imo. Is it supposed to have a punchline? Which is?



anyway, have your fun. When I have time I'll pull up some similar jokes about atheists.

I think that supposes the helplessness of your god!

Mudley313:

the last coccroach one was more of a joke but how so true is this one

ha ha ha . NICE.

anyone blind yet?

A young monk arrives at the Monastery

He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies,
not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head Abbot to question this,
pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."

He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the old Abbot.

So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him.
He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing.

"We missed the R ! We missed the R ! We missed the R !"

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.

The young monk asks the old Abbot, "What's wrong, Father?"

With A choking voice, the old Abbot replies,

"The word was,

CELEBRATE !!!!

bawomolo:

anyone blind yet?

Still waiting.
Maybe it will happen in 20 or 30 years.

mantraa:

A young monk arrives at the Monastery

He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies,
not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head Abbot to question this,
pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."

He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the old Abbot.

So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him.
He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing.

"We missed the R ! We missed the R ! We missed the R !"

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.

The young monk asks the old Abbot, "What's wrong, Father?"

With A choking voice, the old Abbot replies,

"The word was,

CELEBRATE !!!!

dead

mantraa:

A young monk arrives at the Monastery

He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies,
not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head Abbot to question this,
pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."

He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the old Abbot.

So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him.
He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing.

"We missed the R ! We missed the R ! We missed the R !"

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.

The young monk asks the old Abbot, "What's wrong, Father?"

With A choking voice, the old Abbot replies,

"The word was,

CELEBRATE !!!!

even god will laugh his ass off at this,

@Mudley313 and bawomolo
Please O! I need more of those pics keep posting them! BTW where is the moronic OP?

moronic OP has dissapeared after realizing the folly of placing a threat on rational thinking people via his imaginary "jewish" deity

our hypocritical christian brothas n sistas have been egging mods to have me banned for exposing the ridiculousness of their beliefs. these are the same hypocrites who open their foul mouths here on the daily badmouthing any n everything contrary to their beliefs; from how silly n ignorant the atheist is for not joining them in their delusional beliefs of their imaginary jewish god(s) to castigating and ridiculing muslims for worshipping a different god, as violent n imaginary as theirs, but just an arab version, to fighting amongst themselves: catholics vs penterascals, tithers vs non-tithers, most christians vs jehovah witness, aladura, mormon etc

these hypocrites label their god "all powerful" but need the help of an ordinary "human" internet forum moderator to help them fight for their helpless god. instead of praying to their imaginary god to help arrest me like paul so that i see the light or heed to the OP challenge blinding us unbelievers for just 3 days (imagine how many converts he would have had by now) they resort to cowardly running to mods for help since its become a rather difficult job defending an all powerful god who never seem to be able to speak for or defend himself for whatever reason

anyhow sha, religious people have always been known to be intolerant of the views of others (thats why millions have been needlessly killed in the name of religion n in defence of invisible gods) but i'mma keep exercising my "freedom of expression" (something religious people dont understand) by continously ridiculing the obviously ridiculous and pointing out the absurdities of their beliefs

same way u jesus freaks possess the right to ridicule others belief n threaten brimestone n lake of fire on anyone who doesn't share your ridiculous beliefs, is same way i have the right to expose how ridiculously silly it is for grown azz "african" men n women to believe in an imaginary "jewish" deity. you do you, i do me, haba. stop the whining; your all powerful god can take care of it/her/himself. remind me of an ealier posted cartoon below:

I dont undastand the level of intelorance been exhibited by these moronic christians why reporting to the moderator to ban someone expressing his opinion why is it that anything that touches their belief system should be scrapped ban or destroted na wah O Isn't Yahweh and jesus powerful enuf to fight for themselves I hiss in latin. That was how moderator debosky banned someone after a thread was raised to that effect. There's really fire on the mountain, yet these morons go about preaching love. love of jesus my foot!
Abeg Mudley fire on jare!