Hello! nairalenders, a friend of mine needs your advice.

'' I am in a relationship with a lady who is in her mid 30s. We have been together since we were teenagers.

Along the line, we got separated from eachother in search for a better livelihood.

After years of being away from eachother, with the help of mobile phones, we re-united.

To my surprise, yet not disappointed, Jane (not real name) told me she is married with two kids; a boy and a girl. That she had also had a divorced in the wake of various misunderstanding with her husband.

I felt we were destined to be together not minding the kids she already had, i went ahead to and asked her to marry me. Jane agreed.

Our distance relationship kept going well. I kept hustling for money to execute our marriage.

I terminated every relationship i had.

I will call Jane over the phone and we will talk for hours. Bombarding her with love. Jane also visits me, but not frequent.

We kept rolling until one day she told me that she don't want to marry. That all men are the same, recounting her failed marriage as an example.

I am really depressed knowing all my efforts and plans have been truncated by the woman of my dream.

Starting over again isn't the big deal, the problem is the time i had wasted and my undying love for Jane.

Jane keeps insisting that if she is to marry me, i won't get along with her kids, even though i had assured her severally that there won't be problems, yet to no avail. All she keeps bringing up is that , 'men are all the same'. ''

Pls nairalanders , a friend needs your advice.

PlugWalk!
I don't even understand how the fucc my plug talk
Pick him up in a space coupe, I don't let my plug walk
New freak, had to cut my other lil bitchh off
50k you could come and book a niggerr for a plugwalk

The fact that she can generalise about all men when you haven't done anything to her or treated her children badly, shows that she is probably not a good person and can be very judgemental.

Your friend should just move on because the truth is if he digs deep into why her first marriage failed he shouldn't be surprised to find out things that might show she was the problem. Sometimes we need to keep love in one corner and objectively analyse things.

spiritual husband de worry her

OH chei smh for you bro..... you got it all WRONG FROM THE START

do you know what a REBOUND is?
A rebound is the guy ladies date immediately after a break with the one they were dating/married to.... you were the rebound

You have put the CART before the HORSE.... see bro the first things to have done was to CLEAR HER HEAD from the HURT and REMINISCENCE OF THE PAST RELATIONSHIP...

She clearly isn't over it, so she sees you through the eyes of her EX HUSBAND and clearly she would say all men are the same because she gave that marriage her ALL.... and she only has SOME left for you.

She is PSYCHOLOGICALLY DAMAGED.... you could have taken simple steps for FIX her before ENGAGING HER.

She may also Feel you are not going to be FINANCIALLY ABLE TO MEET UP TO HER NEEDS unlike her hubby and you may soon change too.

So LOVE is NEVER the first thing but usually the third or last thing when considering Dating or Marrying someone especially one who had a BAD RELATIONSHIP EXPERIENCE in the recent past....


SOLUTION.... Meet a counselor and take her there... FIGHT to stay together. Delay the Marriage Plan and focus on her kids and on her MIND... COMMUNICATE WITH HER ALOT.... and not LOVEY LOVEY chats... but CORE discussions that will clear her Mind.

Fmartin:
Hello! nairalenders, a friend of mine needs your advice.

'' I am in a relationship with a lady who is in her mid 30s. We have been together since we were teenagers.

Along the line, we got separated from eachother in search for a better livelihood.

After years of being away from eachother, with the help of mobile phones, we re-united.

To my surprise, yet not disappointed, Jane (not real name) told me she is married with two kids; a boy and a girl. That she had also had a divorced in the wake of various misunderstanding with her husband.

I felt we were destined to be together not minding the kids she already had, i went ahead to and asked her to marry me. Jane agreed.

Our distance relationship kept going well. I kept hustling for money to execute our marriage.

I terminated every relationship i had.

I will call Jane over the phone and we will talk for hours. Bombarding her with love. Jane also visits me, but not frequent.

We kept rolling until one day she told me that she don't want to marry. That all men are the same, recounting her failed marriage as an example.

I am really depressed knowing all my efforts and plans have been truncated by the woman of my dream.

Starting over again isn't the big deal, the problem is the time i had wasted and my undying love for Jane.

Jane keeps insisting that if she is to marry me, i won't get along with her kids, even though i had assured her severally that there won't be problems, yet to no avail. All she keeps bringing up is that , 'men are all the same'. ''

Pls nairalanders , a friend needs your advice.

She's not a bad person. Its unfortunate she married a bad man and shes now mared for life, If care is not taken.
That's why people who love sincerely with all their hearts should extremely careful who they end up tying the knot with.

Op, she's going thru some pyschological issues from her experience. Be patient with her. Be her friend, relate with her and her children daily , so she sees how easy it is for you to lover her kids and take them as yours.
Divorce or breakup in marriage is not easy to ignore and move on. Leave getting married to her for now and just be her friend. A good friend at that. With time, she will loosen up and see reasons with her eyes, why she should trust you and believe you are different from the asshole she once married.

Distance relationship with a divorcee

blackpanthar:
OH chei smh for you bro..... you got it all WRONG FROM THE START

do you know what a REBOUND is?
A rebound is the guy ladies date immediately after a break with the one they were dating/married to.... you were the rebound

You have put the CART before the HORSE.... see bro the first things to have done was to CLEAR HER HEAD from the HURT and REMINISCENCE OF THE PAST RELATIONSHIP...

She clearly isn't over it, so she sees you through the eyes of her EX HUSBAND and clearly she would say all men are the same because she gave that marriage her ALL.... and she only has SOME left for you.

She is PSYCHOLOGICALLY DAMAGED.... you could have taken simple steps for FIX her before ENGAGING HER.

She may also Feel you are not going to be FINANCIALLY ABLE TO MEET UP TO HER NEEDS unlike her hubby and you may soon change too.

So LOVE is NEVER the first thing but usually the third or last thing when considering Dating or Marrying someone especially one who had a BAD RELATIONSHIP EXPERIENCE in the recent past....


SOLUTION.... Meet a counselor and take her there... FIGHT to stay together. Delay the Marriage Plan and focus on her kids and on her MIND... COMMUNICATE WITH HER ALOT.... and not LOVEY LOVEY chats... but CORE discussions that will clear her Mind.

thanks a lot for this magnificent piece of advice

Pubichairs:
spiritual husband de worry her

u think so?

912:
The fact that she can generalise about all men when you haven't done anything to her or treated her children badly, shows that she is probably not a good person and can be very judgemental.

Your friend should just move on because the truth is if he digs deep into why her first marriage failed he shouldn't be surprised to find out things that might show she was the problem. Sometimes we need to keep love in one corner and objectively analyse things.

i keep telling him to move on but he says its hard for him. . He says he 'might' remain a bachelor forever if he don't marry Jane

912:
The fact that she can generalise about all men when you haven't done anything to her or treated her children badly, shows that she is probably not a good person and can be very judgemental.

Your friend should just move on because the truth is if he digs deep into why her first marriage failed he shouldn't be surprised to find out things that might show she was the problem. Sometimes we need to keep love in one corner and objectively analyse things.

i keep telling him to move on but he says its hard for him. . He says he 'may' remain a bachelor forever if he don't marry Jane

victorian:
She's not a bad person. Its unfortunate she married a bad man and shes now mared for life, If care is not taken.
That's why people who love sincerely with all their hearts should extremely careful who they end up tying the knot with.

Op, she's going thru some pyschological issues from her experience. Be patient with her. Be her friend, relate with her and her children daily , so she sees how easy it is for you to lover her kids and take them as yours.
Divorce or breakup in marriage is not easy to ignore and move on. Leave getting married to her for now and just be her friend. A good friend at that. With time, she will loosen up and see reasons with her eyes, why she should trust you and believe you are different from the asshole she once married.

The woman doesn't want and you're advising the op to keep wasting his time?

This is the second time I have come across something like this on nairaland. I guess most single moms that were once married have trust issues.

They might feel that they are longer worthy of a single guy because of the added baggage or they might not trust men again because of past bitter experience in marriage

Anyways, it always quite difficult to give a very sound advice when it comes to issues like these.

I would have advised your friend to interrogate her and try to determine why she had a sudden change of heart, perhaps your friend might have done something that reminded her of her past or someone else might have triggered that memory. Thus, it might have been appropriate that he tries to address that issue

However, it is better for your friend to move on with his life because it is quite clear that the said lady hasn't gotten over the break up with her husband.

Your friend wants to be her husband not the guy that will be pretending to be better than her ex husband because she will always bring it up.

makydebbie:
The woman doesn't want and you're advising the op to keep wasting his time?

She's not thinking straight. You think it's easy moving on and feeling so good after a divorce from ones companion who much have placed her thru hell?

Don't worry, when u eventually marry, pray you don't experience what divorce is all about. Then u will understand what she's going through.

Or perhaps u may be the type who do not believe in love and giving all in marriage.

If u are? Then all these ones am talking about ,won't make any iota of sense to you.


Op pls don't give up on her.. She needs u as a friend, a good one at that and u have be patient.

Last last u will be happy, u did.

makydebbie:
The woman doesn't want and you're advising the op to keep wasting his time?

She's not thinking straight. You think it's easy moving on and feeling so good after a divorce from ones companion who much have placed her thru hell?

Don't worry, when u eventually marry, pray you don't experience what divorce is all about. Then u will understand what she's going through.

Or perhaps u may be the type who do not believe in love and giving all in marriage.

If u are? Then all these ones am talking about ,won't make any iota of sense to you.


Op pls don't give up on her.. She needs u as a friend, a good one at that and u have be patient.

Last last u will be happy, u did.

victorian:








She's not thinking straight. You think it's easy moving on and feeling so good after a divorce from ones companion who much have placed her thru hell?

Don't worry, when u eventually marry, pray you don't experience what divorce is all about. Then u will understand what she's going through.

Or perhaps u may be the type who do not believe in love and giving all in marriage.

If u are? Then all these ones am talking about ,won't make any iota of sense to you.


Op pls don't give up on her.. She needs u as a friend, a good one at that and u have be patient.

Last last u will be happy, u did.

Lol, someone that's already giving excuses on why he may not be loved by the kids, if it eventually happens that the kids don't love him. The woman wouldn't try to change this because to her, it's justified.

greiboy salah mane firmino

greiboy salah mane firmino

makydebbie:
Lol, someone that's already giving excuses on why he may not be loved by the kids, if it eventually happens that the kids don't love him. The woman wouldn't try to change this because to her, it's justified.

OK.

Dpussyhunter:
greiboy salah mane firmino

5:2
The gods of Rome awaits you

greiboy:
5:2

The gods of Rome awaits you

hahahahahaha
still he, the sorry ass arsenal fan, underestimates and underrates the king of europe LIVERPOOL!!!


i told you before, roma are the slaves of rome and messi isnt salah neither is liverpool barcelonaj


did you watch the match or just checked scores online btw?

Dpussyhunter:



hahahahahaha
still he, the sorry ass arsenal fan, underestimates and underrates the king of europe LIVERPOOL!!!


i told you before, roma are the slaves of rome and messi isnt salah neither is liverpool barcelonaj


did you watch the match or just checked scores online btw?

I watched the match

Klop should have substituted salah in the 70th min, it allowed Roma to do there pressing and hold a high line.

greiboy:
I watched the match

Klop should have substituted salah in the 70th min, it allowed Roma to do there pressing and hold a high line.

yea you right 'bout that


same mistake klopp made in last weekend's game when he substituted salah on 63 mins which cost us that match (the 2-2 draw with0 westbrom)


anyways i'm certain we aint got any reason to fret cos we're gonna complete the job next week


for now all eyes turn to ass-sin-nal (after tomorrow of course)


heard costa is fit to start................double wahala 4 u guys


papd

Dpussyhunter:



yea you right 'bout that


same mistake klopp made in last weekend's game when he substituted salah on 63 mins which cost us that match (the 2-2 draw with0 westbrom)


anyways i'm certain we aint got any reason to fret cos we're gonna complete the job next week


for now all eyes turn to ass-sin-nal (after tomorrow of course)


heard costa is fit to start................double wahala 4 u guys


papd

Hmmm You said what?

Yawns* I am falling asleep already

We will see on Thursday or in Rome

Her past experience or bad attitude could be the reason for her generalisation about men.

Bro, in as much as I hate to say this but I have to, that woman is using you to heal her emotional wounds. Your moral and financial supports when she was at the loophole of her life has made her risen to the point where she can stand without your help again.

I understand your pain but you need to man up and start withdrawing your attention from her. There are lot of good, beautiful and single ladies out there. What is so special about this woman that you want to kill your life because of her?

Tell him to keep on trying, she might just be testing his resolve. But i would advise you Tell your friend to look for fresh meat, there might just be some truth in what shes saying concerning her children, he will only come to such reality after the said union and he begins to hatch his own offspring. Shes a phase in his life he should never have looked at again even after she resurfaced putting in mind all the baggage she came with, her top most priority presently is her children, getting a tear rubber wife should be his concern

wristbangle:
What is so special about this woman that you want to kill your life because of her?

hmmm... He said, 'LOVE'..

lalasticlala , a friend is in dilema