Years ago my uncle had an issue which he lost his properties and he became poor and sick...his son my cousin stayed wt us for 2years...during his stay my parents made sure he finished his secondary education and the sponsored his senior waec and jamb exams and they sponsored his computer training... We slept on same bed he shared my clothes and shoes with me..his first Nokia phone was bought by my dad cuz he was like the only one in the house who doesnt have a phone he never lacked anything staying with us cuz he was a blood cousin..I remember how much my mum spent and how hard we fasted when he applied for US visa lottery which he got..we all rejoiced and we all contributed to pay for his flight....(of which I had to sale my gold neckless which my white boss dashed me as his best staff in his bakery)
On the day of his travel my dad bought him clothes worth 45k as of 2006 and my mum gave him 150 dollars....
After many years abroad he is now rich and married with 3 kids...bought houses in Lagos and Owerri..built a house for his mother in-law and he is doing very well...but each time I ask him for a lil favor he gives excuses and won't pick my call or reply my chat..so Di's made me to stop communicating with him for over 3yrs now.
When he came to visit my parents last year he cud only give them 5k each...I heard DAT I got very mad took the money and threw it on his face...I just told my parents to leave everything for God..they played their role and if he doesn't want to appreciate them is left for him and God...
Now he is having issues with his wife and family and he is seeking for help from my family...he called me and I warned him not to even call any member of my family...plz guyz I need to hear ur sincere opinion

My brother May I humbly tell you that you have done something bad, by throwing the money back at his face.

The issue with you and most 'Nigerians', based on my observations, is this sense of "entitlement" that has percolated into our systemic existence.

Sorry to say this, no body owes you anything in this life. What you have or make is dependent on how well you work or desire to have them.

Your parents have done a very good job and you have also 'sowed' into making him a better person in life. I thought your joy should be that he can now fend for himself and be responsible in life.

My brother, it is left for him to show appreciation and probably integrate into your family.

Never offer help because you wish to get help back from the person in the future. If you do so, you just activated 'disappointment' and 'heartbreak'!

U did well. Block him entirely from your life. It's too late to be around toxic people.

Learnstuffs:
U did well. Block him entirely from your life. It's too late to be around toxic people.

Sorry? I am lost in the definition of "TOXIC" as implied in your reply

What help is he asking from your family.

Complete the story nh!

What help.

Hmmm... Hard as it may be, I think you should hear him out.
I understand how hurting this can be, but Christ did even a greater thing for us for which some/many of us do not appreciate. Help resolve the issue in his family if you can. He wouldn't be calling you if he doesn't feel/know you and your family could help.

Help him fix his family. Shut your eyes to his ungrateful attitude... For God and for family. Perhaps this act will reset his brain.


.

baranzy:
Years ago my uncle had an issue which he lost his properties and he became poor and sick...his son my cousin stayed wt us for 2years...during his stay my parents made sure he finished his secondary education and the sponsored his senior waec and jamb exams and they sponsored his computer training... We slept on same bed he shared my clothes and shoes with me..his first Nokia phone was bought by my dad cuz he was like the only one in the house who doesnt have a phone he never lacked anything staying with us cuz he was a blood cousin..I remember how much my mum spent and how hard we fasted when he applied for US visa lottery which he got..we all rejoiced and we all contributed to pay for his flight....(of which I had to sale my gold neckless which my white boss dashed me as his best staff in his bakery)
On the day of his travel my dad bought him clothes worth 45k as of 2006 and my mum gave him 150 dollars....
After many years abroad he is now rich and married with 3 kids...bought houses in Lagos and Owerri..built a house for his mother in-law and he is doing very well...but each time I ask him for a lil favor he gives excuses and won't pick my call or reply my chat..so Di's made me to stop communicating with him for over 3yrs now.
When he came to visit my parents last year he cud only give them 5k each...I heard DAT I got very mad took the money and threw it on his face...I just told my parents to leave everything for God..they played their role and if he doesn't want to appreciate them is left for him and God...
Now he is having issues with his wife and family and he is seeking for help from my family...he called me and I warned him not to even call any member of my family...plz guyz I need to hear ur sincere opinion

Do not help him. I still do not get the reason why some Nigerians in the Diaspora especially those in the US act like mini-gods.

Even Patoranking sang "Nobody wey no fit to make am".

Life can turn around and surprise us someday. Don't burn bridges!

Finally, because it is imperative not to repay evil back with evil, I think you should be the bigger person and help them.

Well wishes.

Ask yourself this question....
What will Jesus do?

Some people will come here and say he owes you nothing. That’s trash. This is Africa, not the western world were they have a system well put in place to cater for old people. If you could make it any where in this world and feel you don’t owe your parents anything, you are sick.

Some mothers manage to make ends meet, send their kids to school with proceeds from road side sales. Then that child will grow up one day and feel he doesn’t owe the mother anything.

OP, tell your cousin to go kiss his mother in laws asx, if you have a soft heart, help him out with what he’s asking of you, thereafter tell him to leave and go kiss his father in laws baIIs. Nonsense.

I help strangers and even my enemies not to mention my own blood

Speaking objectively, i will say he doesn't owe your family anything. True, you trained him to where he is but did you do it for the sake of future benefits or did you do it because you see someone in dire need? Moreover, there's no where in your post that mentioned your family is struggling at the moment.

But then, speaking as a human with sentimental emotions, I'd say don't help the ungrateful modafvcker

You are very correct, I endorse your message, give without expecting anything in return

decatalyst:
My brother May I humbly tell you that you have done something bad, by throwing the money back at his face.

The issue with you and most 'Nigerians', based on my observations, is this sense of "entitlement" that has percolated into our systemic existence.

Sorry to say this, no body owes you anything in this life. What you have or make is dependent on how well you work or desire to have them.

Your parents have done a very good job and you have also 'sowed' into making him a better person in life. I thought your joy should be that he can now fend for himself and be responsible in life.

My brother, it is left for him to show appreciation and probably integrate into your family.

Never offer help because you wish to get help back from the person in the future. If you do so, you just activated 'disappointment' and 'heartbreak'!

Lalas247:
Ask yourself this question.... What will Jesus do?

He is not Jesus

Oga op

What type of help is he requesting from your family? and what is the cost(not money) of rendering this help?

Lalas247:
Ask yourself this question....
What will Jesus do?

Is he Jesus?

Jesus is he?


He Jesus is?

Baranzy, If you help somebody or you did an act of kindness and you expect a reward or expect to be paid back in future, that's not kindness, that's business.

stupidity:
Some people will come here and say he owes you nothing. That’s trash. This is Africa, not the western world were they have a system well put in place to cater for old people. If you could make it any where in this world and feel you don’t owe your parents anything, you are sick.

Some mothers manage to make ends meet, send their kids to school with proceeds from road side sales. Then that child will grow up one day and feel he doesn’t owe the mother anything.

OP, tell your cousin to go kiss his mother in laws asx, if you have a soft heart, help him out with what he’s asking of you, thereafter tell him to leave and go kiss his father in laws baIIs. Nonsense.

I help strangers and even my enemies not to mention my own blood

thank you bro. People just come here to talk trash. the poster and his parents are entitled to something abeg. this is Nigeria

This is pure wickedness... But that's humans for you... Feed a dog for 3days and it would never forget you, feed a human being for 99days and he will only remember the ONLY day you didn't feed him.

Those people saying he owes them noting are the reason our society is bad. Many people missed their way because of no help, Same way op's family was not owing him back then he could have ended up being a wheelbarrow pusher but they took his responsibility upon themselves, it pays to be good. In life everyone needs a little push, saying thank you to people who helped me is not an entitlement but an appreciation. Op pls help him if you can God will reward your parents. Its a small world

Yeah am not surprised all the same do help him

Yeah am not surprised all the same do help him

Thanks a lot my fellow nairalanders..let me add to the story...before he traveled then he was 22 and I was 20..we talked a lot on how things will be if he finally settles over by sending downs clothes and other stuff including helping making papers for me to come over so we can hustle together and better the family....as of 2006 my dad was a retired civil servant and my mum runs a provision store ....I remember how many days and nights we fasted and prayed and going to several night vigil...I heard he has an issue with his wife and her family his passport and visa was taken away from him..he now needs family members to interven on his behalf..

Dear Op
Yes, you helped him at the point of his need and it is ok to feel entitled, it is only human.
But just because you were good enough to sacrifice some things for his sake doesn't guarantee that he would do the same for you or your parents, after all, we all are humans. It however shouldn't discourage you to do good.
You are within your rights if you decide not to help him and cast him away, after all he is an ingrate. But I implore you, please be better than he could ever be on his best day, not for his sake, not even for your sake, but for the sake of your children, born and unborn.
Because believe me, you might not be rewarded, but your kindness is not forgotten and will be paid in full to your offsprings...I am a living testimony of this.
So help him in whatever way that you can and remember, you are not doing it for him.





Phew...first time I ever wrote an epistle on NL

How are you so sure he is so rich and can afford to help out the way you want him to? What does he do in the US? Are you sure truly owns those properties in Lagos and Owerri? Do you have proof that he built that house for his in-laws?

Your cousin may be suffering in States but fronts on social media. This kind of issue, I've seen it a lot. Don't mind their show offs, a lot don't have extra to give.

decatalyst:
My brother May I humbly tell you that you have done something bad, by throwing the money back at his face.

The issue with you and most 'Nigerians', based on my observations, is this sense of "entitlement" that has percolated into our systemic existence.

Sorry to say this, no body owes you anything in this life. What you have or make is dependent on how well you work or desire to have them.

Your parents have done a very good job and you have also 'sowed' into making him a better person in life. I thought your joy should be that he can now fend for himself and be responsible in life.

My brother, it is left for him to show appreciation and probably integrate into your family.

Never offer help because you wish to get help back from the person in the future. If you do so, you just activated 'disappointment' and 'heartbreak'!

E just dey do me like say make i slap u . You are one ungrateful prick, he would be nowhere near where he is if not for the sacrifices made by the same people u call entitled. My problem with people like u is that you have very short memory span, just like the said idiot whos back asking for help. Do you even know what it means to feel entitled cos if you did and had one ounce of common sense, you would never call anyone whos family entitled.

Apina:

E just dey do me like say make i slap u . You are one ungrateful prick, he would be nowhere near where he is if not for the sacrifices made by the same people u call entitled. My problem with people like u is that you have very short memory span, just like the said idiot whos back asking for help. Do you even know what it means to feel entitled cos if you did and had one ounce of common sense, you would never call anyone whos family entitled.

Nah sense of entitlement dey make people feel disappointed! In the corporate world, it makes employee to be stagnant because they feel the company should promote or give them insensitives because they have spent so much time at a position. They feel they should be compensated with a position for what they feel they have achieved even when it is clearly stated in the company's HR policy that all employee must pass through the laid down promotion process.

The message is that, you should do whatever you can for people without expecting anything in return.

If whoever you have helped choose not to return the favour, you can't coerce them to do otherwise. Besides, if everyone we have hurt decide to return the favour, I wonder....[s][/s]

if I were in the OP's position right now, I wouldn't help the INGRATE, not because I felt I'm entitled to his success in the past but because he was ungrateful to myself and my family, Courtesy demands that we show appreciation to every good deed rendered to us, even God demands for an appreciation after blessing us, so I see nothing wrong if the OP was expecting a simple gesture of appreciation from his cousin.
The good thing about life is, if you forget those who at a time helped you in distress Karma would always catch up with you and you will end up needing their help again.

Op pls help him even if he comes begging 4times because if u don't and he looses his papers that to me means all what your family did for him to get where he is would count no more. when he comes to his sense he would repay.

snnazzy24:
if I were in the OP's position right now, I wouldn't help the INGRATE, not because I felt I'm entitled to his success in the past but because he was ungrateful to myself and my family, Courtesy demands that we show appreciation to every good deed rendered to us, even God demands for an appreciation after blessing us, so I see nothing wrong if the OP was expecting a simple gesture of appreciation from his cousin.
The good thing about life is, if you forget those who at a time helped you in distress Karma would always catch up with you and you will end up needing their help again.

God bless u bro..people re fond of it..wen they re in trouble ,they will remember u,when the going is good ,,they totally forget bout u ..then tommorow somebody will tell me to forgive and help same person again..

decatalyst:


Nah sense of entitlement dey make people feel disappointed! In the corporate world, it makes employee to be stagnant because they feel the company should promote or give them insensitives because they have spent so much time at a position. They feel they should be compensated with a position for what they feel they have achieved even when it is clearly stated in the company's HR policy that all employee must pass through the laid down promotion process.

The message is that, you should do whatever you can for people without expecting anything in return.

If whoever you have helped choose not to return the favour, you can't coerce them to do otherwise. Besides, if everyone we have hurt decide to return the favour, I wonder....[s][/s]

Whats the corelation between ones family and a corporation? If going by your logic, your parents reserve the right to abandon you at birth since they owe you nothing not even breast milk or if they choose to invest in you, they do so at their own peril

Apina:

Whats the corelation between ones family and a corporation? If going by your logic, your parents reserve the right to abandon you at birth since they owe you nothing not even breast milk or if they choose to invest in you, they do so at their own peril

If you may excuse me..., live your life the way you want!

It is onbvious we ain't on the same cognitive level. Tkcr!

decatalyst:



If you may excuse me..., live your life the way you want!

It is onbvious we ain't on the same cognitive level. Tkcr!

Yes, its very obvious you have no logical standing